


Sticky Drama

by Zhenya66



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crying, Cuddling, Developing Relationships, Dirty Talk, Drama, Drunken sex, First Times, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, LEAVE ME ALONE!, M/M, Not finished!, Praise Kink, SUMMARY ENDING!!!, Sex in later chapters, Threesomes, WILL NEVER BE FINISHED!, childhood trauma???, cute dorks being in love, ending is a summary!!!, sassy cat Rintarou, vanilla sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-07 16:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 93,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7722079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhenya66/pseuds/Zhenya66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a bad breakup with his boyfriend, Shouyou Hinata has to move out and look for a new apartment in the big city. With a bit of help, he ends up moving in the home of Tetsurou Kuroo and Koutarou Bokuto and while he thought nothing could be worse than his breakup with Tobio, fate decides to prove him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New roomies

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been in my mind since a few months and I finally went around to writing it. I just love this OT3, it's so perf! And my baby Hinata is so adorable, I can't believe I haven't written anything with him as the main character so far. New updates will follow every Sunday, every two weeks, because I'm working on another multi chapter fic. I hope you stay tune with this!

 Shouyou Hinata walked down the wet sidewalk, walking around the puddles of dirty rain water and enjoying the way his warm breath turned into small clouds of steam before his face.

 “ _The building’s number is 56, you won’t miss it,_ ” his friend’s, Kenma Kozume’s, voice sounded through the phone, as he gave Shouyou directions. “ _There’s a key under the mat, you can use it if Kuro and Bokuto-san aren’t home._ ”

 “Yeah, but wouldn’t they mind?” Shouyou asked, looking at the buildings to his side and searching for number 56. “I really think I’ll be a bother. Plus, I don’t think they’ll appreciate someone just waltzing in their apartment.”

 “ _Nah,_ ” Kenma’s hallow tone sounded in his ear, “ _The rent is getting a bit high for them and they can use the company. And you’re their new roommate, so why would they mind? By the way, they might be a bit loud and bothersome, but you’ll get used to them. You’ll like them._ ”

 Shouyou smiled, finally reaching the building marked as number 56. It was only four storey tall, build with red bricks. It was at the end of the sidewalk, its windows looking out to a crowded crossroad filled with stores and shops. Shouyou wasn’t used to the crowded, loud big city, but he was just as excited to finally escape the silence and province life of Miyagi.

 “Thank you for helping me find a place to stay!” he thanked Kenma, entering the building and slowly heading up the stairs. “I was really freaked out, especially with all the troubles with Kageyama-kun…You know…”

 “ _It wasn’t a problem. I could’ve taken you in my place, but I didn’t want to bother Keiji…_ ”

 “I didn’t want to bother you too! Oh, by the way, which floor was the apartment at…?”

 “ _Third floor, apartment 14._ ”

 “I think I’m here!” Shouyou smiled in excitement, standing in front of the door with plate 14. “I’m hanging up, thank you again.”

 “ _Don’t be nervous, Kuro and Bokuto-san might seem like it, but they don’t bite. Call me when you get settled in, I might come by tomorrow._ ”

 “Okay, okay! Thanks a lot Kenma!”

 “ _See you._ ”

 Shouyou hung up and pushed the phone in the pocket of his jacket. He took a deep breath and glanced nervously at the doorbell. Despite what Kenma had said, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. Sure, he would pay his part of the rent, but he hadn’t even met _Kuro_ and _Bokuto-san_ to talk things out with them. The only way for him to know that they were okay with him living in their apartment was from what Kenma kept telling him. If he had more money and more time, he wouldn’t be standing in front of the door now, but he didn’t and that’s why he had no choice.

 A week ago, Shouyou broke up with his boyfriend. Tobio wanted things to happen too fast and would sulk whenever Shouyou denied him. It wasn’t like that in the beginning. The two of them cared for each other and spent their days being disgustingly in love. But as time passed, Tobio became too clingy and insistent, he even started getting jealous of the littlest thing. In the end, Shouyou didn’t feel calm in his own home anymore and after a particularly bad breakup, he moved out. Since then he had been living in the dorm room of one of his friends, desperately searching for a place of his own. Every thing he found however was far too expensive for his minimal scholarship and that’s how he ended seeking help from Kenma. At first he expected for the other to find him a roommate with who he could share a rent, but Kenma ended up finding him _two_ roommates with their own apartment, quite close to his university, who were also in search of a roommate who could help them with the rent. The apartment was in a good part of town and Kenma told Shouyou that the roommates – who he kept addressing as Kuro and Bokuto-san – were good people and despite being loud and annoying, if Shouyou told them that he needed his space, they would leave him alone.

 But that wouldn’t be bothersome. Shouyou himself was _loud_ and _annoying_ to some people, so he might even end up enjoying the same company.

 Before he could scare himself off, Shouyou reached up and pressed the doorbell. He really wished someone was home – Kuro and Bokuto-san worked, as Kenma had told him – so he wouldn’t have to use the key under the mat. That would make it seem like he was barging in someone’s personal space and that was something he didn’t want.

 His nervousness picked up when he heard someone’s steps coming towards the door from inside the apartment. He took a deep breath, leaning back and forth on his feet. Shouyou heard the door unlock from inside and then it opened.

 The person standing before him looked nothing short of intimidating. He looked down at Shouyou with narrowed eyes, arms crossed over his broad chest. His black hair stuck out in various directions, as if he had just gotten out of bed. He was taller than Shouyou with a head or two – most people were – and lean, without too much muscle. And aside from his obviously good shape, he looked just as handsome as he was intimidating.

 “What can I help you with?” he asked, leaning against the door frame, his smooth voice taking Shouyou out of his thoughts and startling him.

 “Erm…” he struggled with his words, stepping from foot to foot nervously. “Well, Kenma sends me. I’m supposed to be your…new roommate?”

 The moment he mentioned Kenma, the man’s face brightened. He grinned, setting his hands over his hips.

 “Ah! So you’re Shouyou?” he asked and Shouyou quickly nodded. “A pleasure to meet you then. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Come on in.”

 Tetsurou held the door open and moved so Shouyou could walk inside the apartment. At first glance it was a clean and ordered place. There was a short hall leading towards the living room, which could be seen from the threshold. The kitchen was separated from it with a waist tall counter. There was a large window, which looked out to the crossroad bellow. The floor was clean and covered with dark wooden floorboards. In the middle of the living room Shouyou saw a set of a white leather couch and two leather armchairs which looked oddly soft and comfortable. Between the chairs there was a glass table, over which were scattered books and papers. On the other side of the table, on a short cabinet of light wood stood a flat-screen TV. There ware a few shelves over it, on which were ordered DVDs and small books, most of which textbooks and dictionaries. There was a door to the left of the cabinet, but despite it being open, Shouyou couldn’t see what the room was. A bedroom, he figured.

 Overall, the apartment definitely wasn’t what he had been expecting.

 “Kou’s out to work, but he’ll be back for dinner.” Tetsurou explained, closing the door and waiting for Shouyou to take off his shoes and jacket. “I’ll show you your room.”

 Shouyou nodded and smiled.

 “Thank you very much.” He softly said hanging up his jacket on the coat hanger beside the door. “Thanks for letting me stay. By the way, I’m Hinata Shouyou…But maybe you already know.”

 “You bet I do.” Tetsurou grinned and led Shouyou in the apartment. To the left of the kitchen there was a door and Tetsurou led him to it. “Kenma talks about you a lot. You sounded like a good kid. He doesn’t make many friends so he must have seen something in you.”

 “You’re telling me! He’s really nice though. He helped me out a lot.”

 “You should feel flattered.”

 Tetsurou opened the door and led Shouyou in a small but tidy bedroom.

 “This is your room.” He explained, as Shouyou walked in. “It’s not much, but it’s clean. The bed is comfortable too.”

 “It’s great! Thanks!”

 “I’ll leave to get settled in. Make yourself at home.”

 He walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving Shouyou alone.

 The only furniture in the room was the bed, a desk and a small wardrobe. A little clean window showed the buildings over the street. The floorboards were of lighter wood than the ones in the living room. The bed sheets looked clean, like they were recently changed. With a deep sigh, Shouyou left his bag beside the bed and sat down, the mattress bouncing slightly under his small weight. It wasn’t as bad as he had imagined it. In his mind, meeting his roommates – in this case one of two – and settling in was a lot more awkward. But Tetsurou seemed like a nice person, despite still being intimidating. Shouyou could get used to living in his company.

 He didn’t have much clothes or things that were important. He had taken the little clothes he had and now ordered them in the wardrobe, then sat his cheap but mostly working laptop on the desk before ordering his textbooks and notebooks inside. After he had settled down in the small bedroom, he decided to finally look around the rest of the apartment.

 He cautiously walked out of his room and as casually as he could, walked down the hall in the large living room. The TV was working, but the sound had been lowered. Tetsurou was sitting on the couch, doing his schoolwork. Despite his looks, he seemed deeply concentrated on what he was doing.

 “Did you settled down?” he asked, without looking at Shouyou, as the ginger sat down on one of the white armchairs, almost sinking back in the soft leather.

 “Yeah.” He answered, almost cautious of continuing the conversation.

 “I’m glad. By the way, if you wanna watch something, you can turn up the sound.”

 “Nah, I don’t really want to bother you…”

 After a minute of silence, filled only by the scraping of Tetsurou’s pen against the white paper of his notebook, Shouyou couldn’t help but ask:

 “So, Kuroo-san, what do you study…?”

 “Organic Chemistry.” Tetsurou plainly answered. “I really have no idea why, but I figured that since it came so naturally, I should give it a try…You study too?”

 “Yeah.” Shouyou quickly answered with a smile. “I study English philology, first year. Actually, I don’t like studying much, but…” he sighed and chuckled, while Tetsurou grinned, biting the tip of his pen.

 “What do you plan on working when you graduate?”

 “I really haven’t thought about it so far…And you?”

 Tetsurou shrugged.

 “I’m graduating next year, but I don’t really know yet. I guess it’ll come when I need it.”

 Shouyou smiled brightly and nodded. “I know what you mean! So…Kenma mentioned something about you working…?”

 “It’s not much of a job, but it pays the bills. I work in the bakery down the street. Kou takes the day shifts and I take the night ones. Mrs. Sonohara, the owner, took us gladly. She needed the help. And you work too?”

 “Yup! There’s this grocery a street away from my university. I work there from lunch to five.”

 “Great, so you’ll be able to pay your rent.”

 Tetsurou grinned and Shouyou chuckled awkwardly. He wasn’t imagining the rent to come up so soon in their conversation, but he guessed Tetsurou was right to mention it. Shouyou had no intentions to live on their backs now that he was going to stay in their apartment.

 A few minutes after, Tetsurou closed his notebook and left his pen over it with a pleased sigh.

 “Okay!” he cheered, leaning back against the couch, “Now we can talk more! So, Shouyou, is there something about you I should know?”

 “Well…” Shouyou thought, sitting up straight in his seat as if he was being interrogated. “I don’t really have much to say.”

 “Oh come on! What do you like doing? What’s your favorite food, things like that.”

 “Well…I love volleyball! That’s the most important thing I can think off. I play right now, that’s what I got a scholarship for.”

 Tetsurou’s face brightened again.

 “No way! What position do you play?”

 “Middle blocker!”

 “Seriously? Me too!”

 “No way!”

 The two engaged in a long, friendly conversation about volleyball, one of the things Shouyou did with pleasure and ease. Conversing was even easier with their shared passion for the game, even though Shouyou definitely was a lot more enthusiastic when talking than Tetsurou.

 When it became dark outside and the time became half past seven, the door of the apartment opened, ending Shouyou and Tetsurou’s conversation. Curiously Shouyou turned around to try and catch a glimpse of the door, while Tetsurou grinned and leaned further into the couch.

 “I’m home!” someone yelled from the hall, “I got dinner from Kurume!”

 “Hey Kou!” Tetsurou called, as a Kou entered the living room. Taking a better look at him, Shouyou figured that he didn’t look as intimidating as Tetsurou. Aside from his weirder hair, his features seemed softer, topped by a pair of round, honey colored eyes. He seemed shorter too – by a few centimeters – but definitely buffer. Shouyou figured that that was the Bokuto-san Tetsurou lived with.

 “God, I’m soaked.” Bokuto whined, taking off his jacket. “It started pouring just as I was waiting to cross the street!”

 Tetsurou chuckled and – much to Shouyou’s amazement and confusion – Bokuto walked up behind the couch and leaned down to give him a wet kiss over the lips. A kiss to which Tetsurou gladly tipped his chin up to receive.

 “Glad you’re home.” He reached up and ruffled Bokuto’s wet hair. “Just in time to meet our new roomie!”

 “Hey!” Bokuto cheerfully called, turning his attention towards Shouyou, who couldn’t help but sink back in his seat, “Kozume-kun said you’ll be coming today! You look even cuter than I expected!”

 Shouyou felt his cheeks grow warm. “Thanks…My name is Hinata Shouyou, nice to meet you, Bokuto-san.”

 Bokuto grinned and walked closer to the armchair. “Bokuto Koutarou.”

 The two shook hands and Koutarou quickly returned to the hall to hang his wet jacket.

 “I got dinner from Kurume’s.” he called, walking into the kitchen with two bags of groceries. “What do you guys want to eat, I got a lot.”

 “Ask shrimpy.” Tetsurou said, turning to look at Koutarou over the couch. The nickname however wasn’t something Shouyou appreciated.

 “I’m not a shrimp!” he grumbled, while Koutarou opened the fridge.

 “You want shrimp?” he asked, looking at Shouyou, and while he looked at him with a raised brow, Tetsurou laughed.

 “Make whatever you want Kou,” he said, “Just make a lot. We have to celebrate shrimpy’s homecoming.”

 Despite the use of the offending nickname – which was said with so much affection, it couldn’t even be called offending – Shouyou smiled. He was starting to feel at home more and more. He didn’t feel nervous anymore and was quickly getting used to Tetsurou and Koutarou’s presence. But there was something which bothered him enough to ask Tetsurou about it.

 “Are you two…dating?” he softly asked, making Tetsurou look at him with a raised brow. Shouyou shouldn’t have to even ask – the way he looked at Koutarou while the other cooked behind the kitchen counter had to be enough of an answer.

 “Yeah.” He casually said. “Does that bother you?”

 Shouyou quickly shook his head. “Not at all! I actually had a boyfriend too…”

 “Why had?” Koutarou asked, while folding the grocery bags and putting them away.

 “We broke up last week.” Shouyou explained, feeling a lot more comfortable to talk about it than he expected. “That’s why I ended up moving here actually.”

 Tetsurou clicked his tongue and crossed his arms. “Sorry to hear shrimp. Was it a mutual decision?”

 “It was kind of mine…”

 “What’d he do?” Koutarou asked and that was where Shouyou decided to end the conversation.

 “I’d rather not talk about it.” he tried to smile. “I got over it.”

 “Aww.” Koutarou cooed, “It’s all alright, talk to us whenever you need to.”

 Shouyou smiled, this time genuinely. “Thanks.”

 “Hey, Tetsu, where’s Rintarou?”

 “Sleeping in the bedroom, why?”

 “I got him some good expensive food. Think he’ll eat this time?”

 “He better!”

 Shouyou raised a brow, relaxing in his seat and daring to sit a bit more casually. “Who’s Rintarou…?”

 “Our cat.” Tetsurou answered and Shouyou gasped in surprise.

 “You have a cat?!”

 “And canaries!” Koutarou added with a smile, “But we keep them on the balcony, out of safety measures.”

 “That’s so cool!”

 “Only when you don’t actually have pets…” Tetsurou sighed and stood up, “I’ll get Rin, so you can see him.”

 “Thanks!” Shouyou beamed. He had always wanted pets, but most animals didn’t seem to like Tobio and while he lived with his parents no one could find time to care for any, nor did they have the money to. As it turned out, the apartment wouldn’t be empty even with Koutarou and Tetsurou out.

 After meeting Rintarou, the terribly grumpy Siamese cat Koutarou and Tetsurou owned, and two yellow canaries – who turned up being a couple as Koutarou described them to be – Shouyou and his two unusual roommates settled down for dinner. Koutarou looked ready to eat on the couch in front of the TV, but Tetsurou pulled him on the table. When his boyfriend started to whine, he told him he could look at the TV perfectly from where he sat. Their interaction made Shouyou smile and remember fondly the times when he and Tobio sat on their dusty couch and watched TV while having dinner. The memory ended up ruining his good mood, but thankfully his new roommates didn’t notice.

 “So you two sleep together?” he asked in the middle of the dinner while chewing on his food.

 Koutarou quickly nodded. “Sure do! Nothing feels better than cuddling up to Tetsu.”

 “Since when do we _cuddle_?” Tetsurou raised a brow. “You either kick me the whole night or steal my part of the covers.”

 “And you pack all the pillows, so we’re even.”

 Shouyou ended up going to bed earlier than he had imagined. Somehow he still felt new to the evening atmosphere of his new apartment and didn’t want to interfere between Tetsurou and Koutarou and their nightly rituals. Maybe they wanted to catch up on each other without Shouyou there? It was different now when he knew they were dating. It felt more like he was intruding on their daily life, no matter what they said.

 Being a bother wasn’t something Shouyou wanted to be and despite being pushy most of the time, he decided to back away from his roommates and let them enjoy their night, while he spent his texting Kenma.

 An hour later Koutarou came by to wish him good night and Shouyou took that as the signal to finally leave his phone and snuggled under the freshly smelling covers of his new bed.


	2. First Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this will be updated every Sunday, but seeing as it got so much likes, I thought that I could update earlier. I'll try to update quicker than just Sundays, but I'm working on something else too, so forgive me! Thank's for reading and I hope you enjoy it, the next two chapters are crucial for the plot later on.

 Shouyou woke up before the cold sun rays could shine through the window of his room. For the first time since a long while he woke up not in his bed and not beside someone else. He couldn’t say it didn’t feel comfortable, but the initial warmth seemed gone.

 For awhile he lay under the covers, not thinking about anything in particular, and enjoying the silence. Despite being in such a crowded part of town, there wasn’t even a sign of the yesterday traffic and noise. From time to time a car would pass by down the street under his window. Soon the sun began to shine through the light blue curtains.

 It was Sunday and Shouyou had neither work nor classes. Sunday was a day he wished for from every Monday to every Saturday. But right now, he wished it wasn’t Sunday. That meant that he would spend the whole day in his new home and that made him nervous. There was nothing to worry about of course. Koutarou and Tetsurou had told him plenty of times that he could feel at home, that he _was_ at home. And Shouyou wasn’t the type to over think things. That’s why, enjoying the final peaceful moments of the morning, Shouyou turned around on his side and hugged the pillow with the intention to go back to sleep. It _was_ Sunday, no matter where.

 Just as he was about to doze off, a loud crash from outside his bedroom startled him. At first Shouyou didn’t make any big deal of it, until he heard Tetsurou yelling.

 “Open his mouth!” Shouyou heard, “Swallow it! Swallow it damn you!”

 “Push it down his throat!” he heard Koutarou yelling next. “He broke three plates and my coffee cup!”

 “Damn it, I’m late for class! Kou, come and hold him, I pushed it down his throat, but he’ll spit it out if you don’t hold his mouth closed.”

 “Wait, let me just…”

 Another crash made Shouyou sit up and push away the covers. He wasn’t really sure if he wanted to see what was going on in the living room, but judging by his roommates’ yells, it couldn’t have been anything good.

 “He’s gonna run away!”

 “I’m late for class! You clean up here!”

 “But Tetsu, he’s yours! You can’t leave me!”

 “Shut up! You’ll wake up shrimpy!”

 But Shouyou was already awake and walking towards the door to his room, curious to see what the whole commotion was about. When he opened the door and walked into the hall, he saw Tetsurou hurriedly pulling on his jacket and trying to get his feet in his shoes at the same time, while Koutarou sat on the floor in front of him, cradling a very angry and struggling Rintarou in his arms and holding a hand over the cat’s snout.

 “Oh, great, you woke him up.” Tetsurou scoffed, looking up at Shouyou and then at Koutarou. He nudged his knee with the edge of his shoe, “Nice.”

 “It was _your_ fault!” Koutarou shot back, looking up at his boyfriend.

 “It wouldn’t be _my_ fault if you could handle giving Rin his medicine!”

 “It’s about time you took him to the vet to get him castrated!”

 Tetsurou gasped, seemingly offended, and kicked him a bit harder. “I would _never_ do that to him!”

 “But it’s not like he can show of his manhood here anyway!”

 “It’s still better than having no balls at all!”

 With a groan, Tetsurou zipped up his jacket and bent down to grab his backpack. He knelt down and gave Koutarou a sloppy kiss before standing back up and waving at Shouyou.

 “I’m heading off to class. See you guys later.”

 “See ‘ya, Tetsu.” Koutarou happily said, standing up – with the hissing cat still secure in his hold – to see Tetsurou out.

 “Bye, Kuroo-san!” Shouyou called, walking into the front hall just in time to wave Tetsurou goodbye before Koutarou shut the door with his foot.

 “Sorry for that.” Koutarou apologized, turning to Shouyou with a soft grin. He then looked at the cat. “Oops, I think he swallowed it.”

 He left Rintarou on the floor and brushed his fur covered hands off of his sweatpants. Koutarou laughed when Shouyou bent down to try and pat the grumpy cat, but the animal didn’t even look at him, too busy running back to his safe place somewhere in the apartment.

 “Don’t mind him!” Koutarou said, walking past the disappointed Shouyou and into the kitchen, “This happens _every_ _single_ month! I keep telling Tetsu we should end our suffering, not like Rin even _needs_ those balls, but he won’t listen! Hey, maybe if you tell him too and agree with me he’ll finally take him to the vet! Two on one!”

 Shouyou stood up, his lips quirking up. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 “So, are you in a hurry?” Koutarou asked, cleaning broken peaces of plates from the floor behind the kitchen counter. “Or can you stick around for breakfast?”

 “I don’t have anything to do today.” Shouyou answered, leaning against the counter and watching the other work, “I’m actually planning to stay here.”

 “Great! We can finally talk normally!”

 Koutarou made breakfast and coffee, while Shouyou got dressed and washed his face in the bathroom. When he returned to the kitchen, Koutarou had already set the plates on the table. Breakfast was nothing special – reheated food from yesterday – but it was the first time someone made breakfast instead of Shouyou since he came to the big city. Tobio normally either slept in, or got out too early to stay for breakfast. In both cases, Shouyou made and had breakfast alone.

 “So, Shou,” Koutarou started, leaning against the counter and sipping his coffee, “Do you like it here?”

 Shouyou quickly nodded and grinned. “It’s really great! It’s better than I actually imagined it.”

 “What did you imagine?”

 “Well…Maybe something messier.”

 Koutarou laughed and Shouyou couldn’t help but join in. He had imagined the home to two delinquents to be exact. But here he was, getting a lot more than that.

 “I wasn’t expecting something so ordinary,” he continued, “When Kenma told me you were collage students too, I thought it would be something crazy you know?”

 “Nah,” Koutarou laughed, waving a hand, “We’re the most boring people you could’ve ended up with! We’re trying to settle down now, but it’s mostly Tetsu’s fault. Don’t tell him I told you.”

 “Are you going anywhere today, Bokuto-san?” Shouyou asked, after their laughter died down and the only noise left in the kitchen and living room was the voice of the news anchorman.

 Koutarou shook his head. “Not anytime soon. We’re gonna catch up on each other today!”

Shouyou grinned, taking a liking to the idea. Unlike Tetsurou, Koutarou was a lot more talkative, a lot more like him, and that made the contact easier.

 “I’m on chore duty today.” He told Shouyou with a groan, nodding towards the little dishes in the sink left after breakfast. He looked at him then and grinned, “speaking about chores, do you want to see the birds?!”

 “Sure!” Shouyou quickly nodded and stood up from his seat around the table.

 They took their jackets – Koutarou said it would be cold on the balcony – and headed towards Koutarou and Tetsurou’s bedroom. It was the first time Shouyou walked in that part of the apartment, but just like the rest, it was clean and tidy. The double bed was made and the two desks – one beside the bed, the other beside the door to the room – were clean. A pile of folded clothes found its place beside the only nightstand on the other side of the bed and to the left of the door, in the corner between the two walls, stood a short table, over which stood a small TV. Almost the entire left wall of the room was taken by a large window and in its end was the door to the balcony.

 “Your room’s really big…” Shouyou mused, while Koutarou opened the balcony door. “It’s hard to tell you have troubles with the money.”

 “Nah, that’s not really true. I mean, we brought most of the furniture here and in the living room from our houses when we moved. Like, we got the bed from Tetsu’s parents, the wardrobe is from his grandma, and the desks are from our own rooms and the TV’s from my grandma’s. The only things we bought were the table and the nightstand.”

 “But everything looks so modern…!”

 Koutarou shrugged. “That’s Tetsu’s work. I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the floor in an empty apartment!”

 Shouyou wouldn’t mind either, if he had the company Koutarou had.

 The birdcage was hung up on a hook dangling near the wall of the balcony. It was covered with a small but thick blanket to keep the birds inside warm. Shouyou watched a few steps from Koutarou excitedly, as he uncovered the door of the cage and peaked inside.

 “Awww,” he cooed and waved Shouyou to come closer, “They’re cuddling to keep warm!”

 Once he made way for Shouyou to look into the cage, the only thing he saw was a little ball of yellow feathers. Soon however he noticed that the ball wasn’t one but two, pressed against each other as they sat side by side on their swing. Noticing the attention, the little bird on the right chirped and flapped its wings, disturbing its friend’s sleep.

 “The one on the right is Ichi,” Koutarou explained, as Shouyou watched the birds wide eyed, “And the one to the left is his friend Haru. They’re a couple!”

 “How do you know?”

 “It’s obvious! Haru’s a little shy, but Ichi loves to sing in the morning. It’s really fun having these little guys around!”

 “Can I pet one…?” Shouyou hesitantly asked and Koutarou quickly nodded, pushing away the cover of the cage away enough to open the little door on its front.

 “They get noisy when we separate them.” he explained while trying to get one of the little birds in his hand, “But if they see each other, it’s all good.”

 “I didn’t know they were so smart.”

 “I’m not sure they are _that_ smart, but they’re definitely smarter than Rintarou.”

 Koutarou wrapped his fingers around the calmer bird, while the other chirped and flew around the cage. Before it could try and save its friend, Koutarou already took his hand out and closed the cage door, while the second canary chirped softly in his hand, its little head turning left and right and its beady black eyes looking either at him, either at Shouyou.

 “Haru’s this house’s princess,” Koutarou said with a grin, “She’s the best girl.”

 Shouyou laughed, running a finger over the bird’s smooth head. “I never thought you would be such animal lovers. Is it hard taking care of them?”

 “The birds? No. It just takes a lot of time to clean the cage. Rin isn’t a bother either. He’s a grouch and stays under the bed all day.”

 “It must be fun. Having animals around.”

 Koutarou shrugged, reaching up to put Haru back in the cage with her boyfriend. “Most of the time we’re either out or have no time to play around with them, but it’s not like they want constant attention. Rin, for example, succumbs to his cat desires only when Tetsu’s around to give him a push. If it’s me trying to play with him, he’ll scratch and hiss.”

 He makes a face – to which Shouyou laughs – and shudders, closing the door of the cage.

 “He’s just playing hard to get.” He says, watching the chirping birds, “He was such a cute kitty when Tetsu brought him!”

 “I guess he’s a cat with character.” Shouyou grinned, leaning against the balcony to watch the cars passing by the streets and the people going to work.

 “You can say so.” Koutarou laughs and joins Shouyou, leaning on the rail of the balcony beside him. They enjoy the loud morning and cold air in silence for a few minutes, before Koutarou decides to speak again.

 “So, Shou,” he drawls, grinning at Shouyou. “Tetsu and I have been meaning to go to a party next Saturday. Do you wanna join in?”

 Shouyou blinked up at him, excitement and nervousness mixing together as the offer sinks in. He had always been pumped up about everything new, but had never had time so far. Juggling work and classes and then the chores at home, Shouyou didn’t have times to meat new people, make new contacts and go to parties. Especially go with cool people such as Koutarou and Tetsurou.

 He tries not to look too overexcited when he answers. The last thing he wants is for Koutarou to think he’s some child.

 “Won’t I be a bother?”

 Koutarou quickly shakes his head. “Not at all! You’re cool; we’ll just go out and have some fun. It’s not like me and Tetsu go out much, it’ll be a change for us too.”

 Shouyou grinned, “I’ll see if I can. Thanks.”

 Koutarou returned the grin and looked back at the street. A moment later he was calling someone’s name and waving a hand in the air, eyes shining.

 “Akaashi!” he called to someone on the street, who Shouyou tried to spot. “Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi!”

 Down on the sidewalk a young man stopped and looked up at the balcony and at Koutarou with an almost neutral expression and raised a hand to wave. Just then did Shouyou recognize him. It was Keiji, Kenma’s boyfriend.

 Keiji disappeared from their view, walking into the building. Koutarou quickly walked in, Shouyou following almost suit, to open the door and properly greet his friend. It was obvious the two were close, or so Koutarou seemed to think, but Shouyou didn’t understand why or how come. He didn’t know Keiji well. Whenever he visited Kenma, he was always doing some work in a different room or at his university. Shouyou had barely seen him enough to remember how he looked like.

 When Koutarou opened the door, Keiji was barely at the top of the stairs.

 “Hey, Akaashi!” he called, his loud voice echoing through the building.

 “Hello, Bokuto-san.” Keiji answered, walking past Koutarou into the apartment. “I bought breakfast from Sonohara-san’s.”

 “That’s great, but we just ate! Hey, hey, come over and meat our new roomie Shouyou!”

 “We’ve met.” Keiji hangs up his jacket and looks at Shouyou, who’s standing in the middle of the living room watching them. “Hello to you, too, Hinata-kun. How are you feeling here?”

 Shouyou tries to offer a friendly smile. “Nice to see you again, Akaashi-san. It’s great here! Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san are really nice!”

 “I’m glad you think so.” Keiji says with a nod and casually walks behind the kitchen counter. Behind his back, Koutarou winks at Shouyou, pointing Keiji’s way. Shouyou doesn’t understand and he doesn’t ask. “I was walking past Sonohara-san’s bakery. I didn’t even know she worked Sunday.”

 “Her niece comes and works.” Koutarou says, leaning against the counter and watching Keiji.

 “I see. They had something new out and I thought I would buy some while they were still fresh.”

 Despite having breakfast and coffee no more than a few minutes ago, Shouyou and Koutarou didn’t need to be told twice before sitting beside Keiji on the table and enjoying the still warm pastries he had bought for them. While Shouyou had always thought of Keiji as a sarcastic shutout and barely knew why Kenma liked having him around so much now he was seeing a different side of him. One which liked talking and drinking coffee and one which liked to listen.

 “I came mostly to see how Hinata-kun was settling in.” he said during their conversation. “Kenma didn’t want to come. Or more like he didn’t felt like it.”

 “I kind of understand that.” Shouyou said with a small, disappointed smile. He would make sure to visit Kenma soon enough, now that he knew Keiji didn’t bite. He had become the only reason Shouyou didn’t like going to Kenma’s recently, but that was about to change as it seemed.

 “So, Akaashi,” Koutarou interrupted their conversation, “I invited Shou to Komiyan’s party next Saturday! Are you coming?”

 “I’m not really sure.” Keiji said, sipping his coffee, “I might have too much work and Kenma doesn’t like parties, so…”

 Koutarou groaned and shook his head. “You’re so romantic! If he’s not going, you’re not going either?”

 “I have my boundaries.”

 Shouyou noticed Keiji’s eyes narrow as he drank his coffee and Koutarou quickly changed the subject.

 Their conversation continued for as long as all three had coffee in their cups. After Keiji finished his, he stood up from his seat and got ready to go.

 “Thanks for the coffee, but I’ll be going now.” he said and Koutarou stood up to see him out.

 “Tell Kenma to call me!” Shouyou called after him and Keiji nodded, taking his jacket.

 “We might come over tomorrow, but if not, I’ll tell him.”

 “Thanks for coming over, Akaashi!” Koutarou yelled, leaning against the wall as Keiji tugged on his shoes. “Call me if you’re coming to Komiyan’s this Saturday!”

 “I’ll see if I can.”

 Before Keiji could walk out, Koutarou hugged him. That made Shouyou blink in confusion as he watched them. Was it normal to be that touchy with a close friend? Despite giving a different impression, Shouyou wasn’t a very touchy person, especially to people he had just met or people who he considered as just friends. Keiji didn’t seem like a person who enjoyed hugs either, but now, he was returning Koutarou’s, albeit not as strongly.

 “Goodbye.” Koutarou said, letting go of Keiji.

 “Goodbye, Bokuto-san.” Keiji answered and waved at Shouyou – who awkwardly waved back – before walking out the door. Koutarou closed it behind him with a sigh. “That Akaashi’s awesome isn’t he?!” he cheerfully said, returning to the table. “He’s really great! I didn’t know you two knew each other!”

 “I didn’t know you knew each other too.” Shouyou said, spinning his almost empty cup in his hands, “Where from?”

 “Oh, me and Akaashi? We used to date…sort of.”

 Shouyou’s eyes widened, as he looked at Koutarou, who was cleaning the table. “What do you mean? Before Kuroo-san…?”

 “Nah, the three of us were together.” Koutarou casually said, looking up at Shouyou and raised a brow. “You mean you never tried it? Like, dating two people at once? Sleeping with…”

 “No!” Shouyou quickly said, voice rising and cheeks burning as he imagined it. “I’ve never even thought of it!”

 “Never?” Koutarou grinned smugly, drying his hands from the towel near the sink. “Absolutely never? And haven’t you ever fooled around with your boyfriend? Only the two of you? You know, while you were together…?”

 Shouyou’s face grew a shade darker and he shook his head again. “Never…”

 “You mean to tell me that you’re so cute and you’re still a virgin? No way!”

 “What’s wrong with that?!” Shouyou’s voice wavered and he quickly looked at his cup again.

 “Nothing…” Koutarou chuckled – his deep voice echoing in Shouyou’s ears. “First times are special. Just ask Akaashi!”

 Shouyou felt his stomach clench as he imagined it. The normally reserved and quiet Keiji, who was so closed in himself and so engulfed in work, beneath Koutarou – or above him – turning into a blushing mess, sweating and panting and…

 “And…Was Kuroo-san okay…?” he heard himself asking, throwing Koutarou a shy glance. “I mean, with Akaashi-san with you and…”

 “You’re asking if he was okay with a three way relationship.”

 “Yeah…?”

 “He was perfectly fine then. But do you wanna find out if he would be now?”

 “What…?!”

 Shouyou looked up at his roommate, wide eyed and flushed. His expression made Koutarou laugh.

 “What what?! I didn’t say anything, what’s up with that face?!”

 He walked past Shouyou’s chair, still laughing, and comfortingly patted his shoulder, making him flinch. Shouyou felt his mouth go dry and his heart race behind his ribs. Maybe Koutarou was really joking? Maybe his relationship with Keiji was completely different and he was just joking. That had to be it. And his last words…

 Were they some kind of a proposal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love making Hinata all blushy and shy and cute, that's the Hinata I love and see every time I look at him!~ It's love at first sight! ^3^ Still no movement plot wise, but there'll be a bunch in the next two chapters!~ Comments and feedback are appreciated!


	3. Of loud Music and Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M POSTING REALLY EARLY BUT IT'S BECAUSE I'M REALLY EXCITED!!!  
> Okay, so, guys, my teacher called today to tell me that i can go to a week long seminar in my town for free - the course every day is from 9 to 5:30 - and I'm very happy 'cause I'm one of the four people chosen from my school! So, in that regard, next week and this - because i have to write an essay - I won't have that much time to write this fic. I'll try to post two new chapters for this week and the next, but please don't wait and expect much. Thank you for understanding and I hope you wait patiently ^^.  
> For now, enjoy this peace of dull fiction. Spelling mistakes may be spotted, because I didn't really look over it, I hope they don't bother you much!

The days of the week blend together as they pass and Shouyou barely notices them rolling by. Koutarou and Tetsurou are touchy, is the first thing he notices. And not only to them selves – that had to be the hardest part to accept. But Shouyou didn’t mind. He enjoyed the additional pats on the back or surprise hugs while he’s standing in front of the sink. It all seems too good to be true and takes his mind off of his stressful day and Tobio. He’s ashamed to admit it, but he still thinks about him occasionally and that’s something he doesn’t want. Not anymore.

 Wednesday night is special. It’s in the middle of the week, but for Tetsurou and Koutarou, it’s a night to relax. This would be the first and not by far the last Wednesday Shouyou would indulge in their relaxing with them. At least that’s what he believes while pouring steaming hot popcorn into a bowl behind the kitchen counter, listening with a smile as his two roommates bicker about Disney movies in the background.

 “I remember that my fave part of the Lion King was the second one!” Koutarou had said moments ago, while Tetsurou brought pillows from their room, “I mean, I just love the first scene with all those meerkats singing! And that song in the next scene was pure gold!”

 “You’re mistaken, Kou,” Tetsurou says, throwing a pillow at his boyfriend’s face and sitting down beside him. “You’re talking about the _third_ part, the second was different.”

 “No it wasn’t,” Koutarou insists, “There’s like, part one, then the part from Timon’s point of view!”

 “No, no, no. The _second_ part is with Simba’s daughter, right. That’s the _second_ part. The _third_ one is with the meerkats.”

 Koutarou scrunches up his nose. “No, you’re mistaken. That’s the third part! It doesn’t even make sense. I mean, why make a part with Timon _after_ they show the time skip?”

 “Cause they just did, Kou! Don’t insult the Lion King, please.”

 “ _You’re_ insulting it!”

 Shouyou walks towards the couch with the bowl of popcorn just in time to catch Koutarou tackling Tetsurou back into the pillows, both laughing. He can’t help but smile. He had always wanted such a relationship, but he had lost most of his time with Tobio. Grumpy ‘ol Tobio, who wouldn’t hold his hand, wouldn’t hug him or cuddle with him on their couch while watching movies. Right now, Shouyou felt as if his happy relationship with Tobio was some wicked form of imagination, something his mind had made up to make him feel less concerned and worried about his relationship. If he was happy with Tobio, he could be opened towards other things with him…But maybe he never was.

 “So…” he began after sitting down on the armchair he favored, leavening the bowl with the popcorn on the glass table, “We’re really watching Disney movies?”

 “Why not?!” both his roommates asked, looking up at him with expressions similar to shear shock. At first, Shouyou didn’t even know how to answer.

 “Well…” he stammered, “I thought you would want to watch some action or horror, or…I don’t know. I never imagined you two to be cartoon fans.”

 “Shrimpy,” Tetsurou began, sitting up with Koutarou in his arms and looking at him with seriousness. “Disney has quality animation and the plot of each movie is better than any horror or action.”

 “Are you telling us you’ve never marathoned Disney, Shou?” Koutarou asked and Shouyou shook his head.

 “My sister watched them a lot, but I’ve never been interested…”

 “You missed your whole childhood!”

 “Goodness gracious, Tetsu, we have to make it up to him!”

 “We will, Kou, we will, you just go and start the movie!”

 “On it!”

 The movie starts once everyone is comfortable in his seat. Koutarou asks Shouyou if he wants to cuddle with them, but Shouyou quickly declines the offer. He’s comfortable as he is, sitting cross legged on the armchair and sinking back in the white leather. And while he tries watching the movie, he can’t help but send curious glances at his two roommates on the couch. They seem engulfed enough in the movie, but Shouyou can catch the little touches they share, or the way Tetsurou feeds Koutarou popcorn and the way Koutarou pecks his lips and cheek  between the scenes of the movie. Their closeness makes Shouyou jealous.

 They watch three movies until they decide to go to bed. Shouyou could have watched another, it wasn’t that late as well, but it seemed like the tension between Tetsurou and Koutarou had to be resolved and even though he wasn’t sure how, Shouyou decided to go to bed with them and not snoop around their relationship. Instead, he helped them clean up and washed the dishes left from dinner before calling it a night.

 Shouyou falls asleep almost as quick as he gets under the still freshly smelling covers. He wraps his arms around the pillow and sighs right before he’s out like a candle.

 Somewhere during his dreamless slumber, Shouyou felt like had woken up. In his drowse he remembered hearing some noise, from some far away part of the apartment, but before he could think what it was, the sleep took over him again.

 He woke up around two, this time actually. He sat up in his bed and reached for the glass of water he had on the nightstand, only to find it empty. Groggily, Shouyou got out of bed, taking the glass in hand with the intention to go and refill it in the kitchen. The apartment was dark and silent, faint light from outside made it past the curtains over the windows, illuminating the dark floorboards in the living room. Trying not to disturb the calmness, Shouyou almost tiptoed out of his room, without closing the door, and headed down the little hall towards the kitchen box.

 Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Shouyou almost screamed when he saw someone else sitting in the kitchen, on one of the chairs around the table. His heart jumped all the way to his throat and all sleep left him, but before he could make a sound louder than a startled yelp, the one on the chair raised a hand and shushed him.

 “Shush, shush, shush!” Tetsurou hissed, raising a finger to his lips while cradling the cat in his other hand, “You’re gonna wake Kou up. Shush!”

 “S-S-Sorry, Kuroo-san.” Shouyou stuttered, fingers trembling over his empty glass. “I wasn’t expecting…”

 Tetsurou grinned in the dark and Shouyou could almost see his eyes glinting, gathering all the little light which managed to get through the curtains from outside. Much like Rintarou’s, who Shouyou saw happily purring and dozing off on Tetsurou’s lap for the first time since he had moved in.

 “I get it.” Tetsurou quietly said and, after taking a breath, Shouyou finally managed to walk around his chair and stop in front of the sink. “Did we wake you up?”

 Thinking that ‘we’ meant him and the cat, Shouyou quickly shook his head, while the cold water filled the glass in his hand. “No, nothing like that. I guess my throat went dry somewhere around the night and woke me up…”

 Tetsurou sighed relieved, looking over his shoulder at Shouyou.

 “That’s good to hear,” he said, still grinning, “Kou gets loud in bed. And when I say _loud_ , I mean it.”

 “Eh?” Shouyou raised a brow, turning to face his roommate and leaning back against the edge of the counter. “You and Bokuto-san? I thought you were talking about you and the cat…”

 “Nah!” Tetsurou laughed, but quickly quieted down, “No, I meant something else. Never mind though, good thing we didn’t wake you up.”

 Shouyou decided not to press the subject and only nodded, bringing the edge of the cold glass to his lips. Only then did it occur to him that aside from the loose sweats and his boxers, Tetsurou was mostly naked. A distinct thought of what he and Koutarou had been doing, that could be loud enough to wake him up, sparked in his mind, but Shouyou pushed it away. What they did behind closed doors wasn’t his problem, even if he lived under their roof.

 “And why are you still awake, Kuroo-san?” he asked softly, while Tetsurou played with the cat in his hands. He pinched his nose, until Rintarou began to bite on his fingers before answering.

 “I felt thirsty myself.” He nodded towards the glass of juice on the table. “I thought I could sleep it out, but then Rin decided to be a little bastard,” he punctured his words with another hard squeeze on the cat’s wet nose, “And keep me up. So I came here to enjoy the silence. You didn’t hear it from me, but Kou is prone to snoring.”

 Shouyou chuckled, sipping on his water.

 “Can I sit…?” he cautiously asked, pointing towards the chair beside Tetsurou’s. The older quickly nodded and pulled the chair closer to his, turning it towards Shouyou.

 “Sure. So, Shrimpy, me and Kou have been meaning to ask you…What exactly happened that you had to move in with us? Just curious and all.”

 “Well…” Shouyou left his glass on the table, sitting up straight in his seat. He wasn’t certain he wanted to go with the conversation, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell. “My boyfriend and I kind of got in a fight and he…He insulted me. Kind of. I decided it was better to break up, but the apartment was his to begin with and I had to move out.”

 “We got it that you two broke up but…” Tetsurou seemed to take a minute to think about how to formulate his question, “If it isn’t too much to ask, why? I mean, why exactly? What did he tell you so much?”

 Shouyou froze for a moment, before giving an uncomfortable chuckle and rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s with the sudden interest, Kuroo-san…?”

 Tetsurou stares at him for a bit through the dark, Rintarou wriggling in his lap and biting at his fingers. The intensity of his glare makes Shouyou shiver, stomach turning in nervousness, but he doesn’t dare to break the silence.

 “Just curious.” Tetsurou said after a moment with a light shrug, reaching out to take his glass from the table. “You don’t talk about him much and me and Kou wondered. If you wanna talk sometimes say so.”

 “I will…” Shouyou heard him self saying and quickly took his glass of water from the table as well. The comfortable silence became less comfortable and if he didn’t find it rude, he would jump up and run to his room.

 Tetsurou grinned again, finishing his juice and leaving the empty glass on the table again. “No need to be so shy.” He almost purred, standing up from his seat, “We’re roommates. If there’s anything bothering you, tell us. Or are you feeling left out ‘cause me and Kou are dating?”

 Shouyou quickly shook his head, watching as Tetsurou left the cat on the tiled floor of the kitchen. While he did feel jealous of their relationship, he didn’t feel left out. There was nothing to feel left out of.

 For a second he thought of Koutarou’s words a few days ago and stiffened in his seat.

 “Of course not.” He said, voice rising and disturbing the silence in the apartment. “I don’t…”

 “Whatever you say then.” Tetsurou said in a sing-song voice and walked around the table, passing by Shouyou. He didn’t know for sure, but he was almost certain Tetsurou brushed his arm along his shoulder on purpose. A purpose he couldn’t understand. “G’night Shrimpy, don’t stay up late.”

 Shouyou doesn’t replay, as he watches Tetsurou casually walk towards his bedroom. Just as he had thought days ago when he first met him at the door of the apartment, he wasn’t especially toned, but he did have some amazing muscles. He opened the door to his bedroom slowly, as to not make any unneeded sound, and let Rintarou scurry in first, before he slowly crossed the threshold after him and closed the door, equally slowly. It was as if he was never there.

 And Shouyou finds himself missing it, even though it makes him nervous and makes his stomach coil in some ugly form of anticipation. 

 Now that it was quiet again, that Shouyou was alone, he decided it was time to go to bed. He left his glass in the sink and returned to his room, almost dreading the morning after his nightly conversation with Tetsurou.

 

 Shouyou had waited for Saturday night with great anticipation, but now he wondered _why_? Sure, he had been to a few loud bars with friends, he had gotten drunk once or twice since he moved, but now, he was in Koutarou and Tetsurou’s company and that made him more nervous. What if he did something embarrassing in front of his roommates? Those were the people under whose roof he slept and lived. What if they kicked him out?

 Koutarou’s friend’s apartment wasn’t bigger than their own, but it was crowded. The music was loud enough to be heard on the first floor of the building, even though most of the people were chatting along with each other in the corners of the rooms or drinking instead of dancing. When he stepped through the threshold, Shouyou quickly began to feel a bit out of place. He did want to be there, he did want to meat new people and let loose for a bit, but in the end he ended up walking around with his roommates.

 They greeted their host, Koutarou introduced him. Tetsurou asked him what he wanted to drink, but Shouyou only shrugged. He would go with anything, as long as it wasn’t too strong. But maybe he should’ve been more precise, or maybe he should’ve said he would get it himself, because the next thing he knew, he was sitting on the leather couch in the living room surrounded by people he didn’t know – and people who didn’t know him, alone.

 The music was loud enough to shake the floor and the room was dim with smoke. People yelled at each other over the music and laughed. Some made out in the dark corners, other played drinking games. It wasn’t any different than Shouyou had imagined it, but if he knew how bad it would get in only an hour, he would have definitely asked Tetsurou to drive him home while he was still sober (though he did mention something about not drinking to drive later).

 But at the time being, he didn’t think of what would happen. The only thing he thought of was when his roommates would come around and bring him his drink. He had to relax, and a drink would help.

 And just as Shouyou was getting ready to casually stand up and head towards the kitchen through all the people gathered in the living room, someone plopped down on the couch beside him. The same someone dropped his arm on the back rest, behind Shouyou’s back. The sharp movement startled Shouyou, but he didn’t make a move to stand up, instead looked at the male now sitting beside him.

 “Hey there, cutie,” the stranger whistled, “You alone?”

 At first Shouyou didn’t know how to respond. His heart had started to beat faster than the beat of the music. His cheeks began to heat up and when he spoke, his voice was barely heard above the music.

 “N-No…” he stuttered, repeating it a bit louder for the other to hear afterwards. “I’m with friends.” He yelled above the music and the boy beside him chuckled.

 “Well, where are they?” he asked, leaning against the couch, “Why would they leave you alone?”

 “They went to get drinks…”

 “I can get a drink for you, if they’re being late.”

 “What…?!”

 “I said…!”

 Before he could repeat his question louder for Shouyou to hear, someone wrapped an arm around his slender shoulders. When Shouyou looked up he was surprised to see Tetsurou, bringing up the stranger beside him up and laughing.

 “Long time no see Teru!” he yelled over the music, “What are you doing here, you bastard?!”

 “Where did you come from?!” Teru grinned, laughing along with Tetsurou and reaching up to ruffle his hair, “Long time no see!”

 “Is he bothering you Shrimpy?” Tetsurou asked, turning to look at Shouyou, “Want us to kick him out for ‘ya?”

 Shouyou quickly shook his head. “He wasn’t!”

 “Hey, Shou, I brought you a drink!” Koutarou popped up from behind Tetsurou, carrying two cups in hand. When he saw Teru, much like Tetsurou, his eyes lit up and he reached up to squeeze his cheeks affectionately, after Shouyou took his drink. “Hey, hey, hey! Look what we have here! How’s it going Teru?! You’re not bothering Shou are you? Is he bothering ‘ya Shou?!”

 “Not at all!” Shouyou yelled, feeling a lot more at ease now that his roommates were around again. And the scene had become comical.

 “I didn’t know you guys were here!” Teru said over the music.

 “Glad to see you though.” Tetsurou answered, turning towards Shouyou again, “Shrimp, meat our buddy Teru. Teru, this is our new roomie, Hinata.”

 “We didn’t have the time to meat,” Teru laughed, “You two interrupted us.”

 He winked at Shouyou and offered a hand for a handshake, “Terushima Yuuji, glad to meat ‘ya.”

 Shouyou nodded and smiled, wrapping his fingers around the other’s hand, “Hinata Shouyou!”

 “So, wait, is he…” Yuuji trailed off, pointing a finger from Koutarou and Tetsurou to Shouyou.

 Tetsurou quickly shook his head. “No, no, no. He’s just our cute roommate.”

 “We’re a bit tight on the money.” Koutarou nodded, Yuuji following in understanding.

 “I’m having a hard time to believe you, but…” he looked at Shouyou, grinned, and winked again, “That leaves more space for me.”

 Despite the heavy blush crawling up his neck to the tip of his ears, Shouyou actually laughed. “I doubt.”

 “Eh? Why?”

 “What kind of a question is that?!” Tetsurou laughed, “What do you mean _why_? Don’t you know?”

 Yuuji looked up at him, mildly offended. “I wasn’t asking you!”

 “Yeah, yeah,” Koutarou said over his laugh, “Tetsu, let’s get going and leave pro-player Teru do his thing, and we’ll…” he trailed off, jamming his finger between Tetsurou’s ribs, “You know…”

 “If only Shrimpy’s okay with it? Teru’ll look out for him, won’t you Teru?”

 “Anytime.” Yuuji grinned and despite his original nervousness, Shouyou grinned too.

 “There you have it!” Koutarou wrapped an arm around Tetsurou’s waist, “Now, you’re coming with me…”

 “Am I now?”

 “Yeah...”

 The two laughed, as Koutarou pulled his boyfriend alone somewhere in the crowd, leaving Shouyou alone with Yuuji again.

 Once they were out of sight, Yuuji again turned towards him and raised a brow.

 “Now,” he started, crossing his arms, “Are you seriously not dating them, or is Kuroo making stuff up?”

 Shouyou quickly shook his head. “No, no, you have it wrong! We aren’t dating, we’re just roommates.”

 “So you really _are_ free?”

 “Well…I guess you can say so.”

 Shouyou hadn’t thought about it originally, but was there anything wrong in finding someone new, someone who wasn’t his stuck up, pushy Tobio? He needed some self-esteem. In that regard, he was free. As free as he could be.

 But he doubted he could be free for Yuuji or anyone else at the moment. There was no need to rush.

 “But it’s not like I’m looking for anything.” He quickly added, seeing as Yuuji was about to say something again. He looked like the type to talk a lot. Just the type of person Shouyou liked.

 “Well that’s bad.” Yuuji said instead, downing his drink, “Then can I at least get you a drink, Shrimpy?”

 “As long as you don’t call me that, you can.”

 Shouyou laughed, drinking half of his drink, scrunching up his nose at the bitter taste. Whatever it was, it wasn’t very pleasant.

 “Then we have a deal!” Yuuji exclaimed, standing up as Shouyou finished his drink.

 “Nothing strong…” he said, giving his cup. This was his night out, he had to relax, but there still was no way he was letting his roommates drag his drunken self home.

 When Yuuji returned with their drinks, he again sat down beside Shouyou and the two spent a good amount of time talking about their likes and dislikes, Yuuji even introduced him to a few of his friends. And with every drink he was given, Shouyou began to feel more and more relaxed and soon stopped thinking about the loudness of the music or the crowdedness of the room completely. That was a very pleasant change. One he liked. And the more he drank the more at ease he felt.

 “I’ll be back in a second!” Yuuji told him a good hour after they met, “I’m gonna meat up with a few friends, you stay here!”

 “Sure!” Shouyou said back, already feeling warm and dizzy enough to not feel bothered sitting alone on the couch in the loud living room.

 Yuuji had left mere seconds ago, but his spot was soon taken, just as Shouyou was finishing his fifth drink for the night. This time, there was no hand to rest on the couch behind Shouyou’s shoulders and no flirty Yuuji. This time, when Shouyou looked up, he saw someone completely new to the scenery. Someone looking a lot smugger than all the great people he had met through the night, someone whose narrowed eyes were fogged due to the alcohol and someone who definitely looked a lot more suspicious than Yuuji had. And Shouyou could feel and see all of that despite the alcohol in his system blocking away most of his awareness.

 “Hey, you’re Kuroo’s friend, aren’t you?” the person asks, leaning closer to Shouyou so he wouldn’t have to yell over the music.

 Shouyou only nods, edging away from the new stranger. The boy beside him only grins and points to his almost empty cup.

 “Want me to treat you?” he asks and Shouyou almost considers the offer, before slowly shaking his head.

 “No, thanks.” He quickly says, his tongue twisting on a few words. “I’m good.”

 “No need to be shy!” the stranger beside him reassures, “I’m Kuroo’s friend! Here, I’ll get you a drink.”

 Shouyou wonders what he’s gotten himself into, just as the stranger returns with a cup of something that doesn’t taste like the cheap and bitter stuff Yuuji had been treating him to through the night. He still drinks however, joined by Tetsurou’s odd friend. Somehow, he doesn’t seem like one of Tetsurou’s friends and that worries Shouyou, but for just a minute.

 Than the odd friend brings him another drink and all is right in the world.

 “So…” he slurs, a while after the odd friend returns with another set of drinks, “Where exactly…do you know Kuroo-san from…? I didn’t catch your name too…”

 The friend grins and downs his drink. “Daishou Suguru, at your service, honey. And me and Kuroo…are really old friends.”

 Shouyou grins and laughs. He doesn’t know why, but he does. “Kuroo-san is really cool…”

 “You know what else would be cooler?”

 Shouyou’s eyes brighten, “What?”

 “Let me show you,” Suguru grins and stands up. Despite what he drank while in his company, he doesn’t sway on his feet at all and it’s only his eyes that give him off. “C’mon, don’t be shy…”

 He takes Shouyou’s hands and the ginger laughs as he’s pulled up from his seat.

 “Where’re we going?” he asks, while Suguru wraps an arm around his shoulders to keep him up and steady, “Cause I’m waiting for this friend of mine…”

 “Don’t worry, we’ll be close by. I want to introduce you to someone.”

 Shouyou doesn’t even doubt him, he’s up for anything. He doesn’t even wonder where they’re going anymore, as long as Suguru’s there to hold him up. He starts to feel dizzy again just as Suguru walks him out of the apartment.

 The door clicked closed behind him, but the music still echoed down and up the stairs, loud and clear in Shouyou’s ears. This time, the sound was mixed with the sharp laughter of Suguru’s friends, sitting on the stairs and passing by a dying cigarette.

 “Look who I brought!” Suguru calls, pulling the dazed Shouyou closer to his side as his two friends look up from what they’re doing at them both. The sudden attention shakes Shouyou up a bit, but he doesn’t mind it, on second thought…

 “Suguru, no…” one of his friends says with a light frown and makes a move to stand up, before Suguru raises a hand to stop him.

 “You’re not gonna get in trouble, don’t worry.” He reassures and Shouyou wonders in trouble for what, before his mind goes blank again, “He came here on his own, didn’t you honey?”

 “Ugh…Sure…” Shouyou almost asks, blinking away the haze from his eyes.

 “It doesn’t matter anyway,” his second friend says with a shrug, “As long as we get a turn.”

 “What the hell Hiroo?!”

 “What?”

 Suguru chuckles and looks down at Shouyou, “Hey, are you and Kuroo close?”

 “Not really…” Shouyou drawls, “We’re… _roommates_.”

 “And for how long?”

 Shouyou grins and makes a soft sound as Suguru rests his hands over his shoulders and backs him up to the cold wall.

 “A week.” He slowly answers.

 One of Suguru’s friends, the one prone to protesting, makes a disgusted groan.

 “Kuroo’s gonna come and kill you dude,” he says, standing up and passing the burning cigarette to Hiroo. “Shouldn’t you find _him_ if you wanna pick a fight?”

 “But this is a win-win situation,” Suguru grins and leans down to drag his lips across Shouyou’s ear. A shudder runs up the ginger’s spine and he feels like he shouldn’t be letting Suguru do whatever he wants to do, but his mind isn’t working good enough to make up a reason why. “Don’t play all gold with me, Sakijima.”

 “Dude, this is sick,” Sakijima mutters, “I’m gonna leave…”

 “Geeze, then leave.” Hiroo urges and Shouyou hears Suguru chuckle lowly in his ear.

 Cold hands slide down his sides and fingers dip under his shirt. Shouyou’s skin tingles and he shivers. His cheeks burn, but something tells him that he shouldn’t be doing what he was. That he should push Suguru, that odd friend of Tetsurou’s off of him and go back in the apartment to find wither Yuuji or Tetsurou and Koutarou who had completely left him.

 But instead, he groans, as Suguru bites down on his neck and nibbles.

 “What are you doing…?” he squeaks, soft waves of pain hitting his nerves.

 “What does it look like?” Suguru asks and Shouyou finally decides to push him away, when he feels his hands travel lower to his hips and under the edge of his jeans.

 “Stop it…” he pitifully groans, but Suguru only chuckles again.

 “Stay _still_.”

 Shouyou groans again and just as Suguru reaches to undo his belt, the door of the apartment burst open and before Shouyou could open his eyes to see what’s going on, Suguru is pushed away from him and thrown on the ground.

 “Oh shit!” Sakijima yells, jumping back as his friend’s back collides with the cold surface of the concrete floor. “What the hell…?”

 Shouyou coughs, suddenly feeling far too dizzy and drunk to stand. His back slides against the wall until he’s sitting on the ground.

 “What the hell are you doing?!” someone yells, as Suguru tries to stand up. When Shouyou looks up, he sees Tetsurou towering over him, “What were you trying to do?!”

 “Back off…” Suguru groans, standing up. He tries to land a punch on Tetsurou, but the other is quick enough to grab his hand and push him back again, just as Koutarou and Yuuji walk out of the apartment and step on the platform between the floors.

 “You back off!” Koutarou yelled, stepping between his friends and Suguru.

 Shouyou felt Tetsurou kneeling down beside him and watched wide eyed as Sakijima tried to pull Suguru away from Koutarou. Under the beat of the music still coming from the apartment, Koutarou tried to punch Suguru – and managed to hit him once, before Suguru swiftly returned the hit with a punch to his nose.

 Koutarou would’ve hit him back, wasn’t it for Sakijima who pulled the cursing and gasping Suguru away and down the stairs, Hiroo walking along.

 “I told you not to!” Sakijima could be heard all the way downstairs.

 “Damn bastard…” Yuuji cursed, turning towards Koutarou, “You okay…?”

 “M’fine…But how’s Shou?”

 “Are you okay?” Tetsurou asks, wrapping an arm around Shouyou’s shoulders and helping him up.

 Shouyou could only nod, despite the heaviness he felt in his head and the shivering of his legs and hands. He could almost say he’d sobered up.

 “I’m fine…” he answers, swaying a bit on his feet. He couldn’t believe that despite his thoughts in the beginning of the night he had somehow still managed to catch the eyes of his roommates in a bad way, no doubt. What was he going to explain?

 “I’m really sorry I left you alone…” Yuuji muttered, “I didn’t know…”

 “No need to be sorry.” Koutarou told him, brushing away the streak of blood from his nose and wincing at the pain. “That disgusting bastard…I think he even broke my nose…”

 “But you did give him a black eye right?” Tetsurou said sarcastically, “He’ll be thinking about us for a while.”

 “Hey, Hinata, you’re alright right?” Yuuji asked again, noting Shouyou’s pale face.

 And while Shouyou wanted to say he was fine, that nothing happened – nothing of the worst at least – he couldn’t get the words to leave his mouth. His stomach felt heavy and for a moment he leaned down, feeling like he would throw up any minute. Tetsurou quickly stepped behind him, to hold him, but Shouyou only coughed and covered his mouth.

 “I think I’m fine…” he wheezed.

 “Okay, enough, we’re leaving.” Tetsurou decided and turned Shouyou around so he could lean on him. “Tell Komi we said bye.”

 “No.” Shouyou quickly said, stopping just as he was about to start walking down the stairs, “You and Bokuto-san can stay, I’ll call someone to pick me up…”

 “Who?”

 “Kenma…”

 “Shou, it is past eleven, he and Akaashi are probably asleep,” Koutarou chimed in, “Plus, it’s not like anyone from here can drive you home. Tetsu’s sober anyway.”

 “Yeah, plus, I don’t want you alone home, what if you get sick?”

 Koutarou nods, “Exactly. See ya some other time Teru. Tell Komiyan bye from us.”

 “I hope you’re okay.” Yuuji calls after them from the top of the stairs, “Sorry again for what happened! I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

 “It’s all okay…” Shouyou mutters, barely walking down the stairs. He turned to look at his new friend and tried to smile, lifting a hand to wave. “See ‘ya…”

 “I’ll call tomorrow.” Yuuji promised and returned the wave before returning inside the apartment.

 The drive home is quiet, save for Tetsurou and Koutarou’s angry conversation about Suguru Daishou. Shouyou can barely listen though. He’s ready to pass out on the backseat, only the heaviness in his stomach prevents him from doing just that. His head had started to hurt and he felt drops of cold sweat gathering over his neck.

 When Tetsurou finally parks the car somewhere near their building, he almost has to drag Shouyou to the exit and up the stairs, while Koutarou walks behind them, wincing every time he experimentally touches his bruised nose.

 The moment they crossed the threshold of the apartment, Shouyou felt all the alcohol and junk food in his stomach try to go up his throat and before he could even take off his shoes, he ran to the bathroom, Tetsurou calling his name after him. He knelt over the sink in a fit of coughs, throwing up all the little contents of his stomach and feeling the burning after sensation in the back of his throat. His head began hurting more, tears pricket in the edges of his eyes and in the midst of his suffering, Shouyou felt a soothing hand run up and down his back, another pushing away his hair from his sweaty forehead.

 “Shou, are you alright…?” Koutarou asked, voice softer than usual.

 “Are you done?” Tetsurou asked, leaning against the sink beside him. He snuck an arm around Shouyou’s waist to keep him up, “It’s all over…you’re fine now, just take a deep breath.”

 Shouyou tried to do as he was told, but that only resulted in more coughing. The only thing he spit out in the dirty sink this time however was sour stomach acid and saliva.

 Tetsurou reached to turn on the cold water, cleaning the white sink and wetting his hand to brush over Shouyou’s paled face. The cold water brought him great relief, especially now that his stomach felt better.

 “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he hurriedly said, pushing Tetsurou’s hands away, “I’m better now, thank you…”

 “Kou, clean your nose…” Tetsurou said, reaching up to open the cabinet above the sink. He took out a pack of cotton and a small box of plaster and handed them to Koutarou, who took them and sat down on the toilet to fix up his bruised nose. “Does it hurt much? It looks bad.”

 “I’m fine.” Koutarou waved a hand. “Dude, I feel all sober now.”

 “Me too…” Shouyou groaned, washing his face with trembling hands. “I’m really sorry for all of this trouble…I ruined your night.”

 If it weren’t for them, who knows what could’ve happened. He could be lying bruised and drunk on the platform between the floors in that building, or even worse. He had caused them only troubles, just because he was way too naïve in letting people offer him drinks. He should’ve been more cautious, for his friends’ sake. They wanted a good night, and there’s what they got – taking care of their new roommate, who they hardly knew, but were still good enough to help.

 What was he even doing?

 “I’m really sorry…” he wheezed again, burying his face in his cold palms.

 “It’s not your fault.” Tetsurou told him, leaning against the sink, “It’s ours. We shouldn’t have left you alone like that, be it with Teru…”

 “But I’m an adult!” Shouyou protested, “You shouldn’t be thinking of me all the time, like I can’t take care of myself. You should’ve left me to come home alone…”

 “Nah.” Koutarou drawled, stuffing small pieces of cotton in his nose, “It would’ve been fine if you were at some bar alone, but you were with us in the place of our friend and we invited you. We should’ve made sure you had a good time too.”

 “I did.” Shouyou muttered, looking back down at the sink, “For the most of it…”

 “Look,” Tetsurou began again, making sure Shouyou’s attention was on him before continuing. “We’re not just some roommates now. We’re friends. And we, being older, want you to feel comfortable, be it on some party with our friends or here in home. What happened tonight shouldn’t have happened and it wasn’t your fault for taking someone’s offer to treat you a drink. It was our fault for not looking over you so we could've told you who to watch out from. Are you following?” Shouyou nodded slowly and Tetsurou continued, “You’ve heard of mutual trust, right? Well let’s try the same. Whatever happens, you come to either me or Kou.”

 “Okay…”

 “Good. I’m glad we’re on the same track. Now…” he straightened up, looked at Koutarou – who stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes – and turned towards the door, “I’ll go get you some water. Kou are you feeling well?”

 “God, I’m kind of scared of saying anything right now,” Koutarou whistled, “You look so damn hot and scary…”

 Tetsurou wasn’t very touched by his words, if anything he was a tad annoyed. He rolled his eyes, pushing away the desire to go up to Koutarou and pinch his bruised nose, before walking out of the door.

 “You feeling well Shou?” Koutarou asked, when Shouyou coughed again and spat in the sink, trying to free his mouth of the vile after taste. The sourness in his throat made it hard to breath and gulp down.

 He nodded, leaning against the sink. “I’m sorry, you got hurt ‘cause of me too…Are you sure your nose doesn’t hurt, are you feeling well…?”

 “I’m _fine_. It’s you I’m more worried about.”

 “His nose is thick enough,” Tetsurou joked, returning into the bathroom, “He’ll be fine in no time.”

 “Don’t be rude…” Koutarou whines.

 Shouyou takes the glass of water Tetsurou offers him and drinks with slow sips, as the other leans against the tiled wall. For a moment there’s no other noise but that of the water dripping into the sink.

 Then Shouyou speaks up again.

 “I’m really sorry for all of this…” he says quietly, and neither Tetsurou nor Koutarou interrupt him, “I shouldn’t have drunk so much, that’s all my fault. And it’s not just that, it’s just…I don’t want to be any trouble for you just because I live here. It’s been just a week and…It’s not like we know each other so well. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me. That’s why I’m sorry.”

 While Tetsurou only stared at him from his place beside the sink, blinking in something similar to surprise, Koutarou stood up from the toilet and grinned walking closer to Shouyou.

 “Apology accepted!” he cheerfully said, wrapping a hand around Shouyou’s still shuddering shoulders. His voice echoed through the tiled room, as he brought him closer, “But we want something else, right Tetsu?”

 “S’mthing, else…?” Shouyou slurred, looking up at his roommate in disbelief. Koutarou’s grin turned a bit darker.

 “We want a thank you.” He lowly said, leaning closer to Shouyou. He would have stepped away, but Koutarou’s hand kept him in place, “For saving you from that creep.”

 Shouyou blinked, “Oh…Thanks? Thank you, for…”

 “Not like that!” Koutarou leaned in further until the tips of their noses were almost brushing against each other. Shouyou could smell the alcohol on his breath, could feel his face heating up, as eyes darting left and right, while he wondered how could Tetsurou stand there and watch so silently. “I want a thank you kiss.”

 Shouyou opened his mouth, but no words came out. Instead, he raised his hands and pushed Koutarou off. Surprisingly, Koutarou did let him go and stepped back, while Shouyou walked backwards towards the bathroom door.

 “No…” he heard himself saying and took a deep breath before turning towards the door. “No, no, no.”

 “Do you want some help?” Tetsurou asked him, seeing as he was swaying back and forth on his feet, using the wall for support, “I can walk you to your room if…”

 “ _No_. I’m fine. I can go myself.”

 No one tried to stop him or call out to him anymore and before Shouyou knew it, he was lying on his new bed, face buried in the pillow, and inhaling a new scent which right now wasn’t as comfortable as it was at first.

 He found himself wanting the old smell of his own sheets and the warm body pressing against his back when he went to sleep and awoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad i have this off my back, but the worst part is just about to come. Btw, this is gonna get really "Carrie" inspired, since I watched the movie yesterday. One I recommend to anyone.  
> Btw, another last note! I have two ideas for fanfictions, some KuroHina centric, others not, and I want to know what you want to read after this and "Dead in Love".  
> Idea 1: a Final Haikyuu Quest AU fic, which I have been dying to write since forever - main ship KuroHina and plot not yet decided.  
> OR Idea 2: a Haikyuu Fight Club AU fic with multiple pairings, inspired by Girl the wild's - a perfect manhue which I also recommend to everyone - that's some REALLY good shit.  
> So, decide what you want to read and tell me so I can get something ready by the end of this fic!  
> Wish me luck on my seminar next week, cause I'm freakin' antisocial and i'm going to spend my whole day with people i don't know!  
> Comment and leave feedback!


	4. Cry Out Your Sorrow and I'll Give You My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!~ Here's the next chapter after my seminar! I hope it isn't too rushed and you like it! Please give me some comments and feedback and please, PLEASE, give me critique, as harsh as it is. I just want to know if I'm improving or is there room to improve and how i should do it, so don't be scared to comment and tell me if I'm missing anything ^^ Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

 When he woke up in the morning, he felt like his head was about to split. His stomach felt like a tight, heavy ball. Shouyou barely opened his eyes and managed to sit up. When he tried to remember last night, most of it was a white blur. He didn’t want to push his memory in fear of making his headache worse.

 That’s why going out and drinking was something Shouyou refrained from. He had to be rational and stay home. Something deep in his gut told him the same even now when all was done for. He didn’t know why too, but he felt ashamed. _Deeply_ ashamed. As if he had done something which shouldn’t have been done by him.

 Whatever it was, it was no use to try and remember it.

 Pulling the heavy covers aside, Shouyou stood up. The sun was already up, its cold rays shining through the curtains. The loud city sound took over the streets outside and filled Shouyou’s room, making his head ache worse. He groaned, closed his eyes, and sluggishly began to walk towards the door.

 The apartment was quiet, save for the sound of the working TV in the living room. Shouyou expected to see Koutarou in the kitchen, but much to his surprise, he saw Tetsurou in front of the sink, doing the dishes left from yesterday while Rintarou walked around his feet. Unlike last Sunday, he didn’t seem busy or in a hurry now.

 “Does your head hurt?” he asked, once he saw Shouyou walk behind the kitchen counter and stagger towards the sink.

 “A bit…” Shouyou answered, leaning against the counter as Tetsurou filled him a glass of water, “Good morning, Kuroo-san…”

 “Yeah, good morning.” After giving Shouyou the glass of water, Tetsurou reached up to the cabinet above the sink, from where he took out a blister of white pills. “For the headache. You drank _a lot_.”

 Shouyou shuddered, glancing down in shame. He had drunken a lot and now felt like a used dirty rag. He took the pill Tetsurou gave him and gulped it down with half of the water in his glass. He winced as the bitter medicine brushed the sides of his throat as it went down and wrinkled his nose.

 “I should probably take a shower…” he said, leaving the glass on the counter and looking back at Tetsurou, who was again occupied with the dishes. Somehow Shouyou felt uncomfortable, with him being so quiet. The only noise Tetsurou made was a quiet groan, as he pushed away the cat from his feet. “Is Bokuto-san home?”

 “Yeah, he’s sleeping.”

 Tetsurou’s tone was calm and collected and Shouyou wasn’t sure if there was something under it or not. Even if there was, he wasn’t sure he had enough mind to look deeper, to actually see it. Tetsurou was an open book when he wanted, but if it closed, he became unpredictable. And right now, Shouyou wanted to know what his problem was.

 Normally, when they were together in the morning, Tetsurou couldn’t help but talk to him. Not now as it seemed. And Shouyou had a hunch that it had something to do with yesterday. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t his roommates’ either, so why did Tetsurou look mad? It wasn’t his problem. He and Koutarou had assured him that it wasn’t a problem last night, so much Shouyou remembered.

 “Do you want some breakfast, or are you going to take a shower first?” Tetsurou asked with a soft sigh, turning off the water and brushing off his wet hands from the dry cloth beside the sink.

 What a relief, Shouyou thought. So Tetsurou wasn’t as mad as he seemed? Or he finally decided that being mad was irrational and he had to move on. Because no one had gotten hurt, well, except Koutarou. Thinking about him, Shouyou again began to feel guilty.

 “Erm…Breakfast first.” He answered, heading towards the fridge. Before he could get there however, Tetsurou grabbed his forearm and pushed him back against the counter. The sudden movement startled Shouyou and made his heart skip. “Is something…?”

 “Kou got hurt because of you yesterday.” Tetsurou interrupted, voice strained, making Shouyou look down in shame – too afraid to look up. “And _you_ could’ve got hurt. Don’t do it again. Why did you drink so much? Why did you accept the drink offer from a shabby guy like Daishou? Don’t you know your limit? If you can’t drink, than don’t.”

 “Why are you scolding me right now, Kuroo-san,” Shouyou quietly asked, trying to defend himself somehow, but it wasn’t a worthy try.

 With a short breath, Tetsurou let go of Shouyou’s arm and rested his hands against the counter behind him. He was far too close now, Shouyou could almost feel the heat of his clothed chest against his. His heart stuttered again and he backed away until the edge of the counter dug painfully in his waist.

 “You got us worried,” Tetsurou said, voice softer, “You should’ve seen Kou’s face when you threw up. He looked like he sobered up, just like that. I meant what I said yesterday. We’re friends now. We wont make you do anything, nor do you have to _impress_ us. I just wanted to make sure we were clear with this.”

 Shouyou slowly nodded, reaching behind himself to grab at the edge of the counter, “Yes…”

 “Great. I’m glad we are.”

 Tetsurou didn’t move. Shouyou thought that he would drop the subject and make breakfast – like every morning – but he didn’t let go of the counter or move away. Shouyou’s fingers grew cold and droplets of cold sweat gathered over his neck.

 Tetsurou was waiting. Waiting for him to give a better replay. An apology? Or a thank you? Whatever he wanted, if Shouyou wanted him to move, if he wanted his heart to stop hammering against his ribs, he had to say something.

 “I’m really sorry…” he finally muttered, voice strained and quiet, “I’m sorry okay? No need to be so mad, Kuroo-san…I trust you guys. I really do. What can I do to…to make you forgive me? If you don’t believe me…”

 Shouyou heard Tetsurou exhale deeply through his nose before leaning in. He felt his palms grow sweaty, cheeks heating up. _What was he doing_?

 Shouyou didn’t dare move. He leaned further away, exhaling deeply through his nose and biting the inside of his cheek. Tetsurou didn’t stop. He leaned lower, until his lips were just barely touching Shouyou’s hot cheek. He then moved lower, passing by Shouyou’s clenched jaw, then brushing his lips down his exposed neck. Not biting or kissing, just grazing the skin and inhaling the other’s scent – a mixture of sweat and his natural sweet smell.

 Shouyou felt his chest tighten and his skin growing cold in anticipation. His breathing went shallow and he bit his lip when he felt Tetsurou press the barest of kisses against the skin just above the collar of his shirt. His warm hands touched his thin waist, then slid lower until they stopped at his hips.

 They stood like that for no more than a few seconds, but for Shouyou it felt like hours. A droplet of cold sweat slid down the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he could barely breathe, what went for talking?

 He had just started to relax – _actually_ relax, with Tetsurou so close in his personal space – when the other pulled away. As if nothing had happened, Tetsurou sighed, ran a hand through his messy hair, and casually turned to walk towards the bathroom door.

 “I’ll go take a shower while you eat.” He casually informed, leaving Shouyou to shiver in his place, leaning against the counter for support. He didn’t see when Tetsurou crossed the living room, but when he heard the bathroom door opening and then closing, he let go of the counter and slid down until he sat on the cold tiles, back pressing against the door of the cabinet behind him.

 Shouyou didn’t seem like it, but he had a problem with others coming too near and touching him too intimately. He would never tell his roommates, but that was part of the reason Tobio had started acting strange. No, it wasn’t like he had acted strange. He acted normally. It was Shouyou who was strange. When Tobio wanted to take their relationship further, to the next level, Shouyou was too scared to. Hugs and cuddles were fine, he enjoyed it, and he could do it, but everything else? That was out of the question. It wasn’t something he could take, it felt too much. It felt disgusting.

 That morning was the first time he had come close to relaxing against someone else. Tetsurou had been so close, so near. His hands were on him, Shouyou could still feel the place where they were, where they had burned over his skin through his clothes. And he couldn’t even describe how the skin of his neck tingled where Tetsurou had slowly dragged his lips down lower to his collar.

 He shouldn’t feel the way he did; he didn’t even know how to describe it. He wanted more and nothing at all at the same time. His chest felt painfully tight and he couldn’t breathe. Shouyou bit his lip, hands gripping the edge of his night shirt and heart pounding in his chest.

 Had he felt the same way with Tobio before? Was it ever the same with him? He couldn’t know, but there definitely was a difference.

 A very big one.

 

  Tetsurou was lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore. Every movement he made was purely out of instinct, because he had done it so many times. He knew how to roll his tongue around Koutarou’s, knew how to move his hips against his and how to wrap his arms around his neck, but while his body worked in both their favors, his mind simply wasn’t in the humid room, under the heavy covers and there with him, under Koutarou’s heavy body.

 “God, Tetsu, so hot, so sexy…” Koutarou groaned, moving against him, but it wasn’t hot or pleasurable, it was like an empty gesture. Tetsurou could only sigh, trying to get back in the frenzy his thoughts had mercilessly taken him out from, but it was no use.

 His arousal, and boner, were completely gone.

 Tetsurou unwrapped his arms from his boyfriend and stilled under him. “Okay, stop.” He impatiently ordered, “Stop, stop, stop. _Enough_!”

 His hands come up to palm at Koutarou’s chest, and even though Koutarou doesn’t stop at first – they had done all kinds of stuff in bed and Tetsurou acting all weak and uncooperative is nothing really new – but when he catches the irritated note in his boyfriend’s voice, he quickly stops whatever movement he had been previously lost in and leaned up to look at Tetsurou with wide, concerned eyes.

 “Did I do something?” he quickly asks, as Tetsurou rolls away from underneath him, “Did I hurt you? God, what did I do?!”

 “Nothing…” Tetsurou grumbles, “I was just thinking and…I lost the mood…”

 “What were you thinking about?” Koutarou cautiously asks, lying behind him and slowly, gently, wrapping an arm around his waist.

 “Shrimpy.”

 “Shouyou?”

 “Yeah.”

 Koutarou cocks his head to the side in question, rubbing his cheek against Tetsurou’s shoulder. “What about him?”

 “I think I freaked him up a bit this morning…”

 “Why? What did you do?”

 “Well…Let’s say, I kind of am attracted to him.” Tetsurou stops for a moment, thinking over his next words, “And I was freaked out after yesterday.”

 “Yeah,” Koutarou nods, “Same with me. The kid is just too _pure_! And he’s so adorable when he laughs or smiles, I think it’s love at first sight.”

 “Kind of, so yeah, I think I over did it today…”

 “How?”

 “You know he’s been talking about his boyfriend at times? How they broke up, how he was insulted, stuff like that? And how he always looks so depressed and plain sad after? So I tried to, you know…”

 “Touch him? Kiss him?”

 “The second, yeah, but the poor babe wilted like a flower under me!”

 Tetsurou turned around just enough to look at Koutarou, his look serious. “He looked damned scared of the whole thing and it didn’t even feel like _I_ was the problem. You get me?”

 Koutarou slowly nods, leaning on his forearms. “I kind of do…Yeah, yeah, I get you. But what do you plan to do about it? Of course he’ll be scared with you just coming onto him like that! We both know how _pure_ he is!”

 “I don’t know.”

 Tetsurou groans again and turns away from Koutarou. He knew there was nothing he could do about it and maybe the problem really was all in _him_? Shouyou really _was_ pure and innocent enough to get freaked out of him randomly touching him just like that, especially after the Suguru incident. The truth was that Tetsurou really wanted to touch him and hold him and kiss him until the itch in his hands disappeared. And he wasn’t ashamed of telling Koutarou about it. That wasn’t something new between them either. They had changed countless roommates and partners and were always opened to some new blood in their relationship, just to prove to themselves how much they loved each other even with someone else there.

 The problem was that Shouyou didn’t deserve it. All the other people they had slept with weren’t interested in anything more than hot sex, but Shouyou deserved a relationship and someone who cared. Not like Tetsurou or Koutarou didn’t care, but they couldn’t promise him any true feelings or the thing someone else could give him. In the past week Tetsurou had grown especially fond of the jumpy ginger. He could say the same about Koutarou as well. But after the morning, he started to doubt if they were the right thing for Shouyou, the best he could get and have.

 It wasn’t fair. How could someone so sweet and nice be so scared of a relationship and so heartbroken? Shouyou didn’t deserve it.

 A soft kiss from Koutarou to his shoulder stops his train of depressive thoughts and Tetsurou sighs.

 “He deserves so much better…”

 Koutarou hums against his skin, trailing his lips up and down his neck and shoulder, “I know…But what can you do, Tetsu? What can _we_ do?”

 “I have an idea…What’re your plans for tomorrow? Between five-thirty and six?”

 Koutarou seemed to think for a bit before answering slowly. “I have a shift at Sonohara-san’s…Why?”

 “I’m going to pick up Shrimpy from work.” Tetsurou said with a slowly spreading grin, “And then I’ll take him out to get something to eat. You know, like a date…”

 “Ooh! That’s so nice of you! The day after tomorrow is my turn then!”

 “Yeah. But that’s not my idea. The idea is that I’ll talk to him about what type of guys he likes and then we’ll find him the right one.”

 Koutarou gasped in amazement, his eyes widening as Tetsurou nodded. “That’s the best idea you’ve ever had! Both Shou and the lucky guy will be happy then! You’re so smart Tetsu; it never fails to turn me on…”

 “I know, Kou, I know.” Tetsurou nods, enjoying his boyfriend’s flattering, “It would be nice to have him with us…But that’s not the right thing.”

 Koutarou nods in agreement. “You’re right…I’ll be a bit jealous though. Shou-chan’s quite the catch.”

 “That’s true too, but maybe some other time. For now, it’s all about Shrimpy.”

  _For now_? How could he think of something like that? What did _for now_ mean?

 Whatever turn his thoughts took; Koutarou didn’t seem to notice them. He hummed in agreement – he would always agree with Tetsurou, even though Tetsurou almost never agreed with him fully – and again wrapped his arms around his middle, bringing him close.

 “Don’t over think it babe,” he breathed against his shoulder. “It’s all gonna be good. Now, let’s finish.”

 “Kou, I’m really not in the mood anymore.”

 “But let me at least look at you…”

 “Kou, no! I’ll kick you out of the bed!”

 “But I hate jacking off in the bathroom! It’s too cold…”

 “Turn up the hot water!”

 “Shush, shush, you’ll wake Shou up.”

 “Koutarou, stop…!”

 They were always together, like two storms mixing into one, with their winds blowing in the same direction. It was a good feeling, one no one else could stand. They had never said no to anyone. Whoever wanted to be with them, he was welcomed aboard. But they always left after some time and both Tetsurou and Koutarou always helped them be happy on their own. They did the same a year back when they introduced Kenma and Keiji. It was fun with both, but there was nothing more they could give them than each other. The same went with Shouyou. They could give him comfort, a home, a good time, but not the relationship he probably wanted. And just because Shouyou didn’t seem to want anything of the like with them too, there was always the second option. Help him find someone for himself. The right one, who would treat him right.

 It sounded far better than it probably would be and both were willing to give the idea a try, if Shouyou didn’t say otherwise along the way.

 If Tetsurou had to be honest, he did want Shouyou in their relationship. He still couldn’t forget the feeling of his hot skin against his lips from the morning. It was so soft and warm and Shouyou’s flushed face and large eyes weren’t making his situation lighter. He felt mad desire burning in him every time the two saw each other through the day. But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair towards Shouyou.

 But no matter how many times he told himself that, the possibility of actually having him between him and Koutarou kept returning to his mind through the night, plaguing his dreams.

 

 Shouyou felt nervous the entire day during school and at work. He figured it was just the bad weather that caused the odd heaviness to settle over him. The sky was gray and rain threatened to come. There wasn’t much work to do in the grocery store either. Not many people were fond of shopping out in such a time.

 After the last customer who still kept him company in the store decided to pay and leave, Shouyou decided it was time to make his revision and head home. He made sure to turn the sign hanging over the door to closed before starting to clean up – simple tasks he did with ease like mopping the floor or whipping the windows. Shouyou wasn’t normally the type to like doing his work, but when he had to, he did it like he meant it. He certainly wasn’t lazy.

 Forgetting about the heaviness he felt in his chest, Shouyou tried to concentrate on his duties in the shop. He was just finishing with swiping the floor when the bell hanging above the door jingled, signalizing its opening. That startled Shouyou. He wasn’t used to people coming after he flipped the sign to CLOSED. His boss didn’t come around either. Curiously, he walked out from behind the only isle to great his confused customer.

 Shouyou pulled on his best smile before speaking. “I’m really sorry, but we’re…”

 His voice died down the moment he saw who was standing in front of him in the middle of the small store. His heart skipped and he felt his palms begin to sweat.

 It was like he was standing in front of a ghost if anything.

 “Closed…” he quietly finished.

 “I know.” The person in front of him said, his voice as steady and deep as it always was. “I came for you.”

 Shouyou hadn’t seen Tobio since they broke up three weeks ago and up till now thought he never wanted to see him again. But there he was, standing in front of him like an old memory. He hadn’t changed – what did Shouyou really expect? He still looked and acted the same. His expression was still the same old one of irritation, like he was being bothered by everyone and everything around him. Shouyou would never confess how much it bothered _him_.

 “Why?” he asked, suddenly feeling bold and defensive. He felt anger mixing in with his current emotions and it didn’t help him at all. “I thought you were clear enough when you told me to get lost and leave you alone. Now I’m telling _you_ to get lost!”

 Tobio’s eye twitches and Shouyou knows that while his irritation is growing, he also feels ashamed. Ashamed of what he said in his anger. But Tobio can be angry all the time if he wanted and that wouldn’t help their relationship at all, so why did Shouyou have to bother with keeping it in the line?

 “I didn’t mean all of that…” Tobio muttered, “You know I didn’t.”

 “How am I supposed to know?!” Shouyou almost yelled, “You always do that! You always yell and never listen to me, how am I supposed to know when you mean your words and when not?”

 “…I’m here to apologize.” Tobio gritted out, but Shouyou really can’t be fooled that he’s sorry.

 “It’s a bit late now.”

 “It isn’t if your not so stubborn, dumbass!”

 “I don’t want to have anything with you anymore so just leave me alone!”

 “Not until you accept my apology!”

 Shouyou didn’t understand what his ex-boyfriend wanted. Not anymore. Three weeks ago he had called him all kinds of things and had tried to cross the bounds he had set while they were still on the start line of their relationship and now he thought that apologizing could change everything?

 “What took you so long…?” he heard himself asking, hands trembling over his sides, “What took you so long to decide to come around and apologize?”

 Tobio only groaned, looking aside and scrunching up his nose. Some time ago Shouyou had found his grouchy expressions cute, but they utterly angered him ever since their relationship began to go down.

 “I’m not here only because of…because of _that_ , okay?” he finally mutters, still not looking at Shouyou.

 “How am I supposed to know that?! Why are you even here now, Kageyama? What do you want from me?”

 He saw Tobio take a short breath before speaking again. “I want you to come back home. I’m sorry for what I said and did, so I want to take you home.”

 “That won’t happen.” Shouyou says with narrowing eyes, “I just can’t! What if it happens again? I’m mad at you because what happened wasn’t for the first time and I don’t even believe you’ll have more self control next time!”

 “I _will_.” Tobio presses, looking as confusing as he ever had, but it’s still not enough for Shouyou, “I already said I’m sorry, so come on! I…really miss you.”

 Shouyou feels his heart skip and a steady heat creeps up to his cheeks. He almost believes him for a moment – maybe he really is telling the truth this time – but a voice of doubt makes its self heard in his head. This isn’t the first time Tobio promises him something and apologizes for his behavior. It really isn’t his fault, that’s just the person he is. And while he can be a good friend, Shouyou is almost positive that there could never be anything serious between them anymore.

 “I already moved along, so…” he muttered, fighting the disappointment climbing in his voice. “I’m sorry…”

 For a moment Tobio looks like he wants to say something, but no words leave him. He takes a deep breath through his nose, one which even Shouyou manages to hear, before roughly letting it out and looking at the ginger in front of him.

 “Do you have someone else?” he suddenly asks and the question makes Shouyou stiffen. “Is that why you don’t want to come back home?”

 Shouyou quickly shakes his head, wondering how Tobio could get such an outrageous thought. “No! I’ve never had anyone closer than you in my life!”

 “Then why won’t you come back home with me?!”

 “Because you _hurt_ me! One apology won’t change the situation!”

 “Hina…”

 “Hey!”

 The door of the shop opened sharply and to Shouyou’s surprise, Tetsurou crossed the threshold. 

 “What’s going on here?” his senior asked, stepping between him and Tobio.  And while Shouyou looked away in shame, his ex-boyfriend only raised a brow and looked at him with narrowed, angry eyes.

 “So you _do_ have someone else now…?” he quietly asked, his question making Shouyou flinch and blush.

 “I don’t…” he whispered, “Even if I did, it doesn’t concern you anymore.”

 “I don’t know what’s going on here,” Tetsurou began, his voice louder than theirs’ and a lot more mature, “But if you’re going to push Hinata around, you have another thing coming.”

 “I’m not pushing him around.” Tobio almost growled, not daring to look at his senior (he had always been blunt and mean, but he had always had respect towards those older than him), “He’s my boyfriend.”

 “ _Ex_ -boyfriend.” Shouyou quickly corrected him, “I already told you how I feel so leave me alone!”

 “You heard him, buddy,” Tetsurou said, again turning towards Tobio, “It’s not nice to push yourself on people, so scram it and come by tomorrow.”

 Tobio clenched his jaw and fists in frustration, but didn’t dare say anything. He sent Shouyou a quick glare, making him shrink behind Tetsurou, before turning towards the door and walking to it with large, hurried steps.

 Shouyou sighed in relief when he heard the door shut closed, the bell jingling furiously above it.

 Tetsurou watched as Tobio marched up the street through the large windows and spoke once he was out of sight. “So that’s the infamous ex-boyfriend you’ve been talking about?” he sighed, looking back at Shouyou, “No wonder you broke up, you two are nothing alike. Why was he here?”

 Shouyou shrugged, not looking up at him. “He’s an idiot jerk…He thought that if he apologized, I would go back to him…”

 Suddenly all of the emotions he had bottled up the past three weeks began clawing at his thumping heart and tearing it apart. What had he done? How could he live without his grumpy Tobio? It felt different knowing he was unwanted by him, that it was Tobio’s fault for everything, but now, when he had came to apologize to him and ask him to come back, everything began to hurt. He wouldn’t be able to sleep in his bed alone, wouldn’t be able to wake up alone and spend his day alone. Who would he hug or hold hands with? Why hadn’t he given him a chance? One last one, only one to let him prove how good he could be. Because Tobio could really be good. He could be nice and really _loved him_ more than anyone ever had.

 Such thoughts gathered in his mind and the realization of his situation slowly began to sink into him. He had missed his only chance to bring things back together as they were before the two broke up. His last chance to be with Tobio again.

 He felt something starting to burn at the corners of his eyes and he quickly raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose to prevent the telltale tears from falling.

 “Are you sure that was all?” Tetsurou softly asked him, looking down at him in concern. _Honest_ concern, which made Shouyou’s shoulders quiver with held in sobs.

 He quickly nodded, rubbing his eyes. “That was all. I just got a bit worked up that’s all…”

 “Hey, there’s no need to cry now…” Tetsurou slowly said, wrapping a strong arm around his shoulders. He had dealt with a lot of hard to deal with people, but Shouyou was the only one so far who he didn’t know how to cheer up or handle. “Do you need something? I’ll wait for you if you need to, then I’ll drive us home. You can tell me what happened there, or, if you want, you can start with the story here…?”

 “I’m okay.” Shouyou quickly said, feeling his throat clench painfully and the hot tears rolling down his cheeks, despite his tries to rub them away. “I just got sad for nothing…I’ll be fine…!”

 His shallow sobs turned into held back coughs of grief and the sight was enough to break Tetsurou’s heart.

 “Why are you crying now…?” he almost whined, pulling Shouyou into his arms and rubbing his heaving back. To his surprise, Shouyou also wrapped his thin arms around his neck and clung to him, his fingers digging into the back of his jacket and crumbling the material, “Come on, it’s fine. It’s all okay Shou, he’s gone. Don’t cry, okay? I’m here…”

 “I’m sorry…” Shouyou tried to say between his sobs, burying his face in Tetsurou’s shoulder. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Kuroo-san…I don’t...I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore!”

 “Just cry…cry it out if you have too.” Tetsurou smiled reassuringly, his hand rubbing slow circles into his roommate’s back. “It’s better like this, so don’t worry. I’ll wait for you…”

 From then on, Shouyou couldn’t find any strength to answer. He could only cling to Tetsurou and continue with his ugly crying, spilling his soul out. Every little emotion he had bottled up in the past three weeks finally escaped him, leaving his heart emptier with every sob, until there were no tears left to shed and there was only a hallow emptiness in the big ocean of love which was once his heart.

 

 By the time the two climbed the stairs to their apartment and walked in, Shouyou’s tears had ceased and his red eyes were the only thing reminding them of the little scene in the grocery store. He promised himself he wasn’t going to cry again, for nothing and anyone, but it wasn’t up to him.

 When Koutarou walked into the hall, large smile plastered over his face and his tone cheerful as he greeted them, Shouyou again felt tears gathering into his already hurting eyes.

 “You’re home early!” Koutarou loudly said, stepping into the hall. He didn’t even bother to notice the heavy atmosphere hanging over his roommates or the tired look in Tetsurou's eyes and Shouyou's pale face, “Your little date lasted less than I thought! So, Shou, was it nice? Where did Tetsu take you? Eh? Was it that good that you’re cry…”

 Shouyou hadn’t even taken off his shoes when he threw himself on Koutarou, wrapping his arms around his middle and burying his face in his chest. Memories of how he used to greet Tobio in the same way – with questions and a smile, hugging him and kissing him even before he closed the door to their small home – began to flash in his mind, making the large, salty tears fall quicker, leaving burning trails down his flushed cheeks.

 Koutarou was left surprised for a moment. He had no idea what to say or do. His hands automatically wrapped around Shouyou and held him close as he hiccupped and struggled to breath, looking up at Tetsurou for answers.

 Tetsurou only shook his head with a deep sigh. “His ex went bothering him at his workplace, apologizing and wanting them to be together again.” He explained shortly, hanging up his jacket. “Take Shou to the couch, I’ll bring him something to calm down…”

 “Has he been like this the whole time…?” Koutarou asked in disbelief, his voice loosing its signature loudness and cheerfulness, before looking back at the sobbing ginger in his arms, “Hey, it’s all alright Shou. You’re fine, it’s okay. What did the bastard told you to make you like this, huh? I swear I’ll…”

 He felt Shouyou shaking his head, fingers holding tightly onto the back of his shirt. “I’m sorry…” he hiccupped, “I’m sorry, it’s just…I really love him even now!”

 “Let’s go to the living room, okay? Just take off your shoes…”

 Koutarou waited for Shouyou to quickly slip off his shoes, before he latched onto him again. He couldn’t believe his little roommate was even capable of crying, but what was even more unbelievable was that someone else had made him cry so much.

 After helping him settle down on the couch, while Tetsurou worked behind the kitchen counter, Koutarou gently pulled Shouyou onto his lap and hugged him just as tightly as _he_ was hugging _him_. He knew he wasn’t the best with words, never really was, so the only comfort he could give was that, combined with slow rocking back and fort, like they were on a steadily sailing boat.

 By the time Tetsurou returned with a cup of tea in his hand and a small white pill in the other, Shouyou’s crying had been reduced to short sobs and sharp heaves of his chest. It felt painful and heart wrenching to only watch him in such a state.

 “Will you tell us what got you so upset?” Tetsurou softly asked, sitting beside his boyfriend on the couch and leaving the cup of tea on the glass table before them. He gave Koutarou the white pill and watched as he tried to make Shouyou gulp it down.

 “I don’t know…” Shouyou softly said, falling slack against Koutarou. Despite his sobs lessening, fresh tears continued to roll down his cheeks and Tetsurou couldn’t help but reach out and brush them away. “I just…I really love him…I love him _so much_ , I can't believe I missed my last chance to be with him again.”

 “Why did you two break up?” Koutarou asked, leaning back against the couch and taking Shouyou with him.

 Shouyou didn’t know if he should tell them or not. But maybe he was just causing them troubles with his silence? He was forcing them to find out the reason of his crying on their own and that was probably stressing…But he felt so embarrassed by the truth. How could he tell them? What would they think after he did?

 Whatever happened, he couldn't keep it to himself anymore.

 “The reason we broke up…” he softly started, hiding his face in Koutarou’s shoulder, “It’s all because of me…”

 Tetsurou raised a brow. “Why would it be? Hinata, you're _great_.”

 “We…We were dating for a bit over two years…” Shouyou sniffled, “And whenever Kageyama…Whenever _Tobio_ wanted to take our relationship further, I refused. It scared me, even though it’s stupid…We tried a few times, I knew he wanted it and it made me happy he did but…I just couldn’t…”

 Koutarou and Tetsurou shared a look of confusion, before looking back at Shouyou.

 “Are you talking about sex, Shou?” Koutarou asked and felt his roommate stiffen and nod in his arms.

 “I just couldn’t do it. I wanted it and it sounded great, but whenever we would get to it, I freaked out. In the end Tobio kind of got tired of waiting…I understand him, really. That was a huge mistake on my part…”

 “Don’t think like that.” Tetsurou scolded, narrowing his eyes, “Don’t even say it like it’s such a light matter.”

 “Yeah, if the guy cared about you, he would be with you not only cause of the sex!” Koutarou chimed in, “It’s not your fault Shou, some people date for years without having sex until their ready!”

 “Yeah but…It’s my fault for taking so long anyway…” Shouyou knew he was right for himself, no matter what they told him, “Tobio really got upset after all those times…”

 “It’s not true Hinata!” Tetsurou interrupted him, “Look, you’re right to think sex is scary, it is at first, but it all depends on having a good partner who can ease your fears and all of those things and make you comfortable with the idea before the actual thing.”

 Koutarou nodded in agreement. “If you didn’t feel comfortable after so much time to do it with him, that only means you didn’t love him that much…”

 “But I did…” Shouyou frowns, “I loved him, but the idea of having…of _doing_ _it_ with him was…”

 “First times are always scary.” Tetsurou softly explained, “It takes patience and understanding.”

 “Yeah, tell him about your first time bottoming Tetsu.” Koutarou added, the happy slur in his voice and the wink he send Tetsurou’s way completely crashing the seriousness of their conversation.

 It made Tetsurou groan and shake his head. “It was terrifying and I was utterly convinced it won’t feel good.”

 “But it did right?”

 “Yeah, Kou, it did, I can’t get enough of you now.”

 Koutarou awed and Shouyou blushed. “Yeah, but…How did you do it…?”

 “Well,” Koutarou started explaining this time, “First we talked it over. It was kind of hard ‘cause no one wanted to actually bottom.”

 “Yeah,” Tetsurou said with a roll of his eyes, “In the end you talked your self into my pants. Such pride.”

 “Tetsu, so vulgar,” Koutarou groaned before continuing, “Anyway, I was a bit eager and pushy too, but we started slow. And we took turns. Like, first off we started with fingering then we kept at it for a few months before Tetsu was comfortable.”

 “Don’t make me blush, Kou.”

 “But I love it.” Koutarou grinned, the tone of his voice making if not Tetsurou, then Shouyou blush heavily, “And then we did it. Slowly. Communication is the key word Shou.”

 “Yeah, I ended up asking Kou to stop how much? Three or four times before we got into it.”

 “Yeah, yeah. So it’s not your fault Shou. Some people handle their first time bottoming harder than others. There are just braver people who like to go for it, but it’s good that you don’t jump right in it. And that guy, your ex, he should have known that. That only means he wasn’t the right for you.”

 “True.” Tetsurou nodded courtly, “So don’t be ashamed Hinata. It’s normal. It’s no problem if you end up a virgin at fifty too! All that matters is not being sorry for it right?”

 Koutarou quickly nodded. “Even more true. You’re great Tetsu.”

 “You too Kou.”

 Their words made Shouyou smile. Maybe they were right. A part of him still clung to his own thoughts, still made him feel guilty, but the opposite part of him told him that there was nothing to be guilty of.

 Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks and his hold on Koutarou tightened, as his roommates looked at him in distress.

 “Why are you crying _now_?” Koutarou asked, rubbing his back and softly ruffling his hair. Shouyou could only smile through his tears.

 “These are tears of joy…” he sobbed, his smile quickly disappearing as his crying increased.

 Koutarou smiled fondly, burying his own face in Shouyou’s neck. “There, there, Shou. Cry all you want to. We’re here. Cry out all that frustration and I’ll  give you some good cuddles and love.”

 While he cried the last bits of tears still in his eyes, Koutarou looked up at his boyfriend and the two shared a serious look. They would make sure Shouyou never cried in front of them again. They would make sure never to have to comfort him like they did now. No one would hurt their innocent roomie anymore.

 And most of all, they shared a silent promise. A promise that they would get Shouyou the right person in his life and make him happier than he ever was.

 They were certain about it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally a little back story from Hinata and Kags's side, and I kind of like how I wrote Koutarou and Tetsurou being so opened about their relationship, like -> Tetsu talking about banging someone else and Bo is all like "yeah, fine, i'm chill with ya bro" xD That's how i kind of see them, full of trust towards each other! Correct me if you disagree, I would like to hear your thoughts on their relationship so i can enter it in the fic and cause some nice plot-twist and drama later on ;)   
> Another thing I need to say is that Kags' and Hinata's conversation is inspired by one I had with my dad...that's a very long story I'm willing to share, but it'll take me some time to type it xD So, moving on, the crying scenes with Hinata were inspired by my ugly crying at the end of the seminar I went to and which kept me busy and happy the past week xD It was really such an amazing experience and the people who worked with us were one of the most amazing people I have EVER met!!! I honestly cried with joy at the end of it, they really helped me a lot without me even noticing. So...I cried like a little bitch, and I thought -> why not make Hinata cry and get hugged and cuddled by our lovely captains like I got hugged and cuddles by the whole team of the Academy??? Bocchan's last words to HInata are also based on the words of one of my instructors, she said, while hugging me "Cry out all your anger and give it to me and I'll trade it for my love" 


	5. On a Date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Here's another cute and fluffy chapter! All I want to say is that the real plot starts from chapter 6 and that you should be ready for the actual core part of the story! I still have no idea how many chapters this will have, but I'll be glad if i can make it 10+ or maybe they'll be about 13 or 15...I really don't know. Thank you for stopping by to read this and I hope you stay until the end ^^ I apologize for any spelling mistakes.

 Shouyou woke up early. Too early to get up, but late enough to feel like he had had enough sleep. When he looked at the digital clock on the nightstand beside his bed, the red numbers showed quarter to six. The sun hadn’t yet started to rise and the neighborhood was oddly quiet.

 Ten minutes after he had checked the time, Shouyou decided it wasn’t worth staying in bed if he wasn’t going to sleep. He stood up, pulled on his socks and slippers and took the water glass he kept beside his bed if he ever grew thirsty overnight before walking towards the door of the room.

 In the silence of the apartment, his mind could only be occupied with thoughts of yesterday. After his little episode was over and he had calmed down – with the help of the pill Tetsurou had given him – the three spent the evening watching some boring movie which ran on TV. No one really had the desire to cook, so for dinner they had ordered take out. Shouyou still couldn’t believe he had eaten and spent the night on the couch, leaning against Koutarou’s chest and sitting between his legs similar to the way Rintarou snuggled against Tetsurou through the evening. It felt so embarrassing now when he revised it in his memory, but back then it felt so good, especially the way Koutarou had drummed his fingers against his side while they watched the boring movie. He had almost fallen asleep then and there.

 It was all so embarrassing. He constantly tried to act like the adult he had to be and knew he was, but in the end he kept relying on his roommates. And they acted like it was no big deal, even though it was, and wanted nothing in return for everything they did for Shouyou. The moral support, the kindness, the friendship and the times they had helped him with his projects. They didn’t even raise the topic, as if everything was a part of their usual life. It made Shouyou so uncomfortable, especially knowing that he wasn’t as strong as them. Knowing that he couldn’t give the things he was receiving from them back.

 With a sigh, Shouyou filled himself a glass of orange juice – something Koutarou constantly said he drank, but the cartons were always full by the time the expiration dates rolled around – and walked around the counter to go and sit on the white couch. He didn’t turn on the TV in fear of waking up his roommates. He already knew Koutarou slept like a log, but Tetsurou was a terribly light sleeper.

 Instead of watching the cartoons running in the early morning, Shouyou leaned back against the couch and turned his head to look at the window. The curtains were light enough to be see-through and he could easily see the neighborhood and the first soft signs of the rising sun framing the tops of the buildings and signs. There was no one outside and there were no cars or traffic. The perfect time to enjoy the calmness and silence, to rid himself of the nagging thoughts and just relax.

 With another soft sigh, Shouyou reached towards the glass of juice he had left on the table, just as the door to Tetsurou and Koutarou’s room opened slowly and quietly. Rintarou quickly ran out, passing by the couch without so much as sparing Shouyou a short glance, followed by his precious owner, who yawned while closing the door behind him with painful slowness.

 When Tetsurou noticed Shouyou on the couch, he raised a brow in surprise. “Ah, ‘morning.”

 “Good morning.” Shouyou nodded, trying to smile. “Did I wake you up?”

 “No, I usually wake up around this time.” Tetsurou answered, flashing him one of his signature grins while walking past the couch towards the kitchen box, “Plus, the cat went crazy and tried to claw at Kou’s back, so I was a good boyfriend and got out of bed to let him sleep.”

 Tetsurou might have been joking, but Shouyou smiled genuinely. Words couldn’t express how much he envied his roommates. While he was scared to dive in the sea of people and find his special someone, these two had met on the start line of their lives and matched like puzzle pieces. They had build the perfect world just for them selves while the water reached only to their knees and Shouyou couldn’t even imagine how deep they could reach together. And there he was – knee deep and still searching.

 Another fact he couldn’t help but notice and like was that Tetsurou would normally refer to Rintarou as ‘ _the cat_ ’ while when both him and his pet were in the mood to play and pamper each other he would quickly become ‘ _Rin-chan_ ’.

 “Are you feeling okay today?” Tetsuoru asked from the kitchen, taking Shouyou out of his thoughts, “You look tired.”

 “Maybe it’s because of all the crying last night.” Shouyou said with a smile, turning to look at his roommate over his shoulder, “I’m really sorry you had to go through my mood swings yesterday. I’m kind of embarrassed…”

 Tetsurou only laughed, quietly, as to not disturb the quiet calm in the apartment. “If you thought that _that_ was a dramatic mood swing, you should see Kou when he’s down. Don’t you worry, I’ve seen worse.”

 “I’m still sorry…”

 “Just promise me you won’t cry for anyone again and we’re even.”

 Shouyou chuckled, looking back at his glass of juice. He could promise that. He _could_. “I promise. Thanks, Kuroo-san.”

 “Anytime.”

 Tetsurou filled Rintarou’s bowl, even though the cat didn’t seem interested in the food, and made himself a cup of weak coffee. He ran a hand through his messy hair, walking around the counter and towards the couch to make Shouyou company.

 “You’re oddly quiet,” he said, sitting beside his little roommate, “Did something else get you upset?”

 “Not really,” Shouyou shook his head. “It’s just…I like the silence. I normally don’t, I hang out with loud people a lot, and I’m very loud myself, but I kind of like the silence now…”

 “I know what you mean.” Tetsurou said with a sigh and a small relaxed smile, leaning back against the couch with the cup of steaming coffee in his hands, between his thighs, “Kou thinks it’s stupid I get up so early when I don’t have to, but it feels great to stay alone with your thoughts for a bit.”

 “Exactly…” Shouyou himself didn’t get up early at all unless he had to, but it made sense for Tetsurou to be an early bird. When Shouyou woke up and got out of bed at half past seven on weekdays, Tetsurou was already up by then, the breakfast and coffee were on the table and Koutarou was dozing off on the couch while trying to watch the morning cartoons and anime.

 “I was wondering, Kuroo-san,” he started again, looking up at his roommate, “Yesterday you were at the store…Did you have some work around the neighborhood?”

 “Actually…” Tetsurou again ran a hand over his hair, closing his eyes as if to gather his thoughts before looking down at Shouyou and answering. “I was coming over to pick you up. Kou was at work so I thought we could go out and have dinner or watch a movie. Does it sound good?”

 Shouyou smiled and nodded. “It would’ve been great…”

 “And now that you mention it,” Tetsurou grinned, “Maybe we can do it today? The three of us? We’ll go out and watch a movie, then we’ll go get some junk food and a cartoon of juice and we’ll go on a walk in the park? Sound good?”

 It did sound good. It sounded great. And it was remarkable that Shouyou wasn’t even thinking that he might have been intruding on their date.

 “But today’s Wednesday…” he frowned, tilting his head. “It’s movie night…?”

 “Well, yeah, that’s why we’ll go have fun and watch a movie. Wednesday night is a night for relaxation, Shrimpy. And we’ll be relaxing, but just not at home.”

 “Then I’m in! Thanks for inviting me, Kuroo-san…Thanks for thinking about me…”

 Tetsurou’s grin turned soft and he reached to ruffle Shouyou’s ginger hair. “Of course we’ll think about you! You live here don’t you? Than you should know about what we’re doing and should feel invited to everything.”

 Shouyou laughed softly at his words. He didn’t doubt him, not a bit. He took a sip of his juice and looked at the direction of the large window again. The sun had started to finally raise, its soft rays shining over the tops of the buildings and filling the living room with a soft light. It created a feeling of calmness, a feeling of home. It made Shouyou want to breathe in deeply from the still air and be thankful he ended up with the right people, in the right place and time. It made him look on his situation from the bright side. Sure, he was jealous of his roommates, but his own time would come too, sooner or later. The water of the ocean of life might reach up to his neck until then, but it would be worth the wait. Who ever he met in the end would be worth the wait.

 “Are you gonna cry again?” Tetsurou jokingly asked, leaning closer to Shouyou. The ginger only shook his head.

 “Definitely not.” He said with a quick nod and turned towards Tetsurou with a big, honest smile. It felt like the rising sun had gathered itself and all its warmth in his living room. “Thanks for everything Kuroo-san.”

 “Don’t mention it.”

 Tetsurou’s voice sounded a lot softer than Shouyou had ever heard it. It sounded low and comforting, much like the atmosphere in the living room.

 Without any unnecessary slowness, Tetsurou wrapped his arm around Shouyou’s thin shoulders and pulled him close to his side for something similar to a hug, which Shouyou quickly returned with no signs of doubt or hesitation. He left his glass beside Tetsurou’s cup of cooling coffee on the table and wrapped his arms around his middle, snuggling closer to him without any shame, as if it was the most normal thing to do. And it probably was, or so it felt like.

 With a deep sigh, Shouyou laid his head on Tetsurou’s stomach and breathed in his scent. He didn’t smell musky, nor did he catch a whiff of any unnecessary cologne. He smelled oddly like himself, like the way anyone smelled after getting out of bed. Like a little bit of sweat mixed with the signature scent of his skin and the soap he and Koutarou – and now-a-days Shouyou as well – used. He was warm, he was inviting. He was pulling Shouyou in without doing anything in particular.

 Shouyou didn’t look up at him, didn’t see the look on his face and didn’t see the emotion in his eyes – didn’t even know if he felt anything at all – but he did feel his warm palm moving over his forearm and warming his skin. It made Shouyou’s body grow slack against him, as he closed his eyes and tried to think only of how good being so close to someone felt.

 Before he could doze off, he opened his eyes with a content smile and, without looking up at his roommate, barely whispered:

 “So…we have a deal? You’ll pick me up after work and we’ll go see a movie? Then we’ll buy junk food and go on a walk in the park…?”

 He didn’t see, but he swore he _heard_ Tetsurou grin.

 “Yeah.” He smoothly answered, his hand moving over Shouyou’s back, “Tonight’s our night. We’ll pick you up at six sharp, so you better be done.”

 He would be done. It didn’t matter even if they picked them in the beginning of his shift, he would go with them anywhere, whenever they said.

 

 He didn’t know for how long he had been dozing off against Tetsurou, but he did feel him moving him to lie comfortably on the couch before standing up. The next thing he remembered was Koutarou opening the door to their bedroom and walking out, asking his boyfriend what was for breakfast. The sun had rose almost completely, even though it was hid by the gray clouds outside, the loud noise of the city came from the opened window in the living room and everything smelled of breakfast and coffee.

 “Hey, Shou,” he heard Koutarou calling him, running a hand over his arm. Shouyou barely recognized him without his wild hairdo. “You awake? Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

 “I don’t know…” he groaned, quickly sitting up. When he looked around to spot Tetsurou, he saw him setting the table behind the kitchen counter. “What time is it?”

 “Half past seven.” Tetsurou answered, looking at him with a grin when he felt his eyes on him, “You can’t believe how precious you look when you sleep! See Kou? There’s a reason I get up so early every day.”

 Koutarou let out an exaggerated sigh, while Shouyou felt himself blush. “No way! Damn you Tetsu, you shouldn’t have even told me!”

 “I love teasing you.” Tetsurou winked, causing Koutarou to groan again.

 “I hate you when you tease!”

 “I know you love me best just then.”

 “Will anyone use the bathroom?” Shouyou asked, cutting short their conversation and standing up from the couch. He stretched his arms above his head, hearing the joints of his shoulders pop.

 “You go first, I’ll check the morning news.” Koutarou said through a yawn, taking Shouyou’s place on the couch and reaching towards the remote on the table. “What are we having for breakfast Tetsu?”

 “Oyakodon.”

 “You’re the best at cooking hun!”

 “Don’t mention it sweety.”

 With a short laugh, Shouyou walked in the bathroom and closed the door behind him, listening as his roommates continued to coo sickly sweet pet-names at each other.

 When he walked out to join them for breakfast, Koutarou asked him a strangely odd question while standing up to head to the bathroom himself:

 “Shou, what kind of boys do you like?”

 The sudden question made Shouyou blink in surprise as if he were a fish, wondering greatly what had caused the interest. He looked at Tetsurou, who sat beside him, but he looked just as interested to hear his answer as Koutarou.

 Shouyou took his time to think before answering. Time to think over the question and make up an answer.

 Never had he actually thought what kind of boys he liked.

 “You do like boys, right?” Koutarou asked when he didn’t answer as quickly as he thought he would, cocking his head to the side in question, and Shouyou quickly nodded.

 “I do but…I don’t really have a type…”

 “Think about it.” Tetsurou urged, leaning his hands on the table. “Surely you don’t like pushy grumps like that guy, your ex.”

 The remark made Shouyou frown a bit. He did want to forget Tobio and move on, but hearing someone talk bad about him didn’t really appeal to him even after yesterday. However, he did try to think of certain traits his future special someone could have, little things which might make him _the one_.

 “Well…” he began slowly, “I don’t know. Maybe someone who can put up with me…I mean, someone who can stand me being clingy…? Or maybe someone a bit loud, with a good sense of humor…Or maybe someone protective…? I don’t really know!”

 He finished his awkward speech with an equally awkward laugh, looking away from his roommates. He had always believed he knew what he wanted, but now he had no idea how to voice it.

 “How about we try to summarize all of that?” Tetsurou offered with a grin, barely holding back his laugh, “You want someone who’s confident, patient enough to put up with your quirks, someone who’s loud and knows how to crack a good joke every once in a while, who’s protective of you and who has a strong presence?”

 “You’re awesome with words Tetsu.” Koutarou mused, making his boyfriend agree instantly, while Shouyou quickly nodded.

 “I guess yeah. That’s what I think I want…”

 “You _think_?” Koutarou laughed, “What do you mean _you think_?”

 “Well…I just don’t know! If I meet the right guy, I’ll know!...What’s with the sudden questions though?”

 He watched his roommates share a look before assuring him that it was just out of curiosity, nothing special and nothing concerning. Before he could press the subject further, Koutarou ran to the bathroom while Tetsurou stood up to refill their coffee cups, quickly changing the subject.

 It was odd. Their behavior and the sudden question. It made Shouyou blush and think if there was something hidden behind it, especially after he saw how pleased they looked after Tetsurou’s short summary of his perfect type of a man.

 Before he could over think it however, Koutarou returned, fresh as ever with his hair perfectly lifted and slicked with gel, and their morning continued as if nothing had happened and as if the question what kind of boys Shouyou liked had never been asked.

 

  During his stressful day at the university and then at work, Shouyou had little time to think about Koutarou and Tetsurou. He did however catch himself waiting for the time they would pick him up numerous times during the day, while he had lunch or when he was sitting in the library of the university with his friends, pretending to study but secretly imagining the way their night would go.

 By the time six o’clock rolled around however, he began to form double thoughts on the matter. What if he was just going to be a third wheel, or if he was going to be a burden for them? What if something happened and he ruined their night? Wednesday nights were special for them and what if because of him, their special night got disturbed?

 Before Shouyou’s mind could stay on those thoughts for long however, he saw the painfully familiar car of his roommates rolling down the street, with Koutarou waving at him from the passenger’s seat. With a smile and newly found confidence, Shouyou took his bag from behind the counter of the store and ran out, almost forgetting to lock the door behind him.

 “So,” he enthusiastically said, not even fully seated in the back seat, “What movie are we watching?”

 “Dark Water!” Koutarou answered with the same amount of enthusiasm, as Tetsurou made Shouyou buckle his belt and started the car. “Get ready to cry _real human_ tears!”

 “Is it some romantic comedy?” Shouyou asked, making himself more comfortable on the back seat. Tetsurou quickly shook his head, while Koutarou let out an exaggerated gasp.

 “Its original genre is horror,” Tetsurou explained, “But it has a nice emotional story if you look over it.”

 “And it doesn’t pass up on the horror too.” Koutarou threw in. “We didn’t know what movies you liked Shou, so we kind of chose the earliest one after six.”

 If they liked it and said it was great, Shouyou believed them, even if he wasn’t the biggest fan of horror. He knew Tetsurou and Koutarou were big movie fans – they watched everything with a good summary, no matter the genre. They never really got too obsessed over one specific genre as well, even though they had their episodes where they liked one thing more than the other. Shouyou could easily say that after moving in with them, he had watched more movies than he had in his life and was quickly learning the names of the bigger part of the Japanese actresses.

 The theatre for _Dark Water_ wasn’t especially full which gave them a wide majority of choices for their seats, no matter what their tickets said. Shouyou ended up sitting beside Tetsurou, who was awarded the duty of holding the popcorn so it would be on an equal reach for Koutarou and Shouyou.

 The movie did exceed Shouyou’s expectations. It had its ups and downs, but it was another proof of how many good movies his roommates knew. While it made him want to reach up and brush his eyes at some scenes, it also made him jump and look away at others. And that was when he got a nice surprise. Seeing him trying to look anywhere but at the screen when the peak of the horror came, Tetsurou wrapped a hand around his shoulders and leaned down to whisper in his ear, while on his other side Koutarou watched the movie wide eyed.

 “If it’s too much for you, I’ll come with you outside.” He softly told him, making Shouyou blink up at him in surprise. “I’ve watched the movie before, so I wont miss out on much.”

 Contrary to what he actually wanted, Shouyou shook his head. “It’s fine, it’s just getting good.”

 Instead of moving away, Shouyou found himself leaning back into Tetsurou’s arm and the later made no move to ruin their comfortable position. That’s how they spent the ending minutes of the movie and Shouyou was actually disappointed when Tetsurou moved away from him in favor of calming down Koutarou who got drowned in the waves of deep feels with which the movie ended. And they were _deep_ , even Shouyou felt like crying.

 “I knew we should have watched that romantic-comedy thing!” Tetsurou declared when they returned to the car, Koutarou still sniffling and blowing his nose. “I knew you would cry, I knew it.”

 “You’re just so heartless!” Koutarou whined, poking Tetsurou’s side as he struggled with his seatbelt, “Dark Water is a masterpiece! It mixes horror with deep feelings and an actual life story! What do you think Shou?”

 “I think Matsubara-san should have moved.” Shouyou quickly answered, tightening his own seatbelt and leaning back against the seat, “Even if they ended up taking her daughter away from her.”

 “But she didn’t want that because she loved her!” Koutarou kept whining, turning over to look at Shouyou over the seat while Tetsurou drove out of the parking lot. 

 “I know, Bokuto-san! Such motherly love and that end scene made my hear go all ‘ _gwaah!_ ’”

 “Exactly! Whatever that meant!”

 Rolling his eyes, mildly annoyed with Koutarou yelling almost directly in his ear, Tetsurou quickly changed the subject.

 “Okay, so what are we doing now? Are we going straight for the snacks and the walk, or are we going to stop somewhere and eat cheep ramen?”

 “How about both?” Koutarou asked, turning towards him. The quick change of personality spoke for itself – from sniffling and crying minutes ago, he seemed like he was ready to fly to cloud nine now. “We have dinner, then carry on with a walk?”

 “Shrimpy, you good with the idea?”

 “Always!” Shouyou quickly answered. When he checked his phone he saw it was somewhere near nine and he was surprised of himself. That was the first time he stayed out this late in someone else’s company, but that didn’t mean he was disappointed or wanted it any other way.

 From then on the night felt more and more like a date – a date from which Shouyou didn’t feel excluded. He even forgot about his fears of being a third wheel. Tetsurou and Koutarou’s closeness didn’t bother him at all, since he got enough affection from both, as if he was in the mix of their feelings as well. It felt like they were in a cheep romance movie, though the aftertaste of the horror somehow stuck – at least with Shouyou and Koutarou, who promised him to marathon horror drama’s as long as he wished when he had time – and turned the feeling from romance to the beginning of a suspense movie. But Shouyou didn’t even have time to think about it.

 They ate cheep ramen on a stand in a dark back alley until they couldn’t eat anymore and listened to the conversations of the old men from the neighborhood, laughing along with them. In the same light mood as before they drove to a convenience store near the park in their own neighborhood and bought a fair amount of sweets and snacks. They got a few drinks – including the orange juice Koutarou mostly pretended to like – and after locking the car in front of the store, continued towards the entrance of the mostly empty park.

 Away from the eyes of the judging neighbors and co-citizens, Shouyou noticed Tetsurou and Koutarou getting a bit more touchy with each other. While Tetsurou carried the bag of snacks in one hand, he kept one around Koutarou’s shoulders. For the first time during the night Shouyou felt a bit unwanted, but he was happy seeing them so in love. While deep in his mind he wished to be part of that happiness, seeing them so perfect for each other and so close felt enough.

 They stopped by a set of cement stairs leading to the street. The air felt moist and wet, even though it didn’t rain. Puddles of dirty water littered the path around the trees and playgrounds. It felt like they were the only ones up at that time. The wooden benches were wet and lonely, the trees were dark and their leafs rustled with every swipe of the cold autumn wind through the little ones left on the thin branches. The park was bathed in the soft yellow lights of the street lamps on the street to which the stairs led and the little lamps in the park.

 And while the scenery and loneliness felt dark, in the little cheerful world the three of them made for themselves while they ate snacks and sweets and passed around a bottle of soda, sitting on the wet and cold stairs towards the street, everything felt perfect and right.

 If Shouyou had waned to stay home minutes before his roommates picked him up from his workplace, all he wanted now was to stay with them. To make the night longer and stay with them in the dark, quiet park.

 However nothing could last, the night including. After they finished the last bag of chips and gathered their trash in the plastic bag they had taken from the store, they stood up from where they sat on the stairs, content and happy and ready to go home.

 “So, did you have fun Shrimpy?” Tetsurou asked with a grin, walking over to the trash can beside one of the benches.

 Shouyou quickly nodded, barely standing on one place from excitement. “It was great! Thank you for taking me out.”

 “So you’re saying you liked the date?” Koutarou grinned, standing up from the stairs and brushing off the back of his jeans. “Man we’re great at making people happy Tetsu!”

 While Tetsurou gave him the thumbs up, Shouyou felt his cheeks starting to warm up as Koutarou’s words finally sank in his mind.

 “Date?” he blinked in confusion, even though his smile didn’t fall from his slowly heating up face.

 “Sure, sure!” Koutarou grinned smugly, looking up at him. “I call this a date! It’s a date, right Tetsu?”

 “A date it is.” Tetsurou called from where he stood beside the bench, “Are you two coming over? Or are we going to go back down the street?”

 “Through the park I say.” Koutarou answered, looking up at Shouyou, who stood with his hands in his pockets atop the stairs. “What do _you_ say?”

 “Through the park sounds good.” Shouyou smiled. “And thanks for…the date.”

 While Koutarou laughed and told him it was all alright, Shouyou skipped down the stairs.

 Just as he was passing by the fifth step however, he felt the soil of his shoe slipping down the edge of the stair. His balance was gone in seconds, seconds which felt like they were in slow motion. Shouyou didn’t even have time to take his hands out from his pockets and brace for the fall about to come. It didn’t even feel like he was tumbling down, more like he was flying towards the wet ground bellow the stairs, taken down by gravity.

 He had the time to only shriek before he finally lifted his hands to grab onto something and stop his terribly slow fall. Much to his surprise however, his fingers dug into the sides of Koutarou’s jacket, while his roommate’s arms came around to wrap around him before he fell face first on the ground.

 For a moment everything remained quiet. Shouyou could only blink and hold onto Koutarou’s jacket, while the later held onto him, as if he would continue falling if he let go. When Shouyou finally managed to look up, he saw wide round eyes staring down at him in surprise and worry. And they held a lot more, something Shouyou couldn’t understand, but it made his heart ache, then it made it flutter. Made him warm and cold and made him embarrassed and happy.

 “Are you okay?” Koutarou asked, both finally coming back from whatever world they had went, and Shouyou could only nod, too afraid to let him go, even though his feet were finally stable on the ground.

 “I am…I’m okay…” he said, his own eyes wide and staring up at Koutarou’s, unable to look away. He felt unable to do a lot of things, even answer Tetsurou who kept asking if he was alright while running up to them.

 “What happened?” he breathily asked, stepping beside Shouyou and his boyfriend, “That was one hell of a fall! Are you hurt? I swear, if Kou wasn’t where he was…”

 “I’m fine, Kuroo-san.” Shouyou quickly said, stepping away from Koutarou as if he had burned him, “I really am, I’m sorry. I have no idea what happened, I guess I’m just clumsy like that…”

 He tried to laugh, even though it sounded a bit fake, while Tetsurou only sighed in relief and patted his trembling shoulder. Beside him, Koutarou looked like he hadn’t understood what had happened at all. One minute he was talking to Shouyou and in the next he was in his arms, clinging to him as if for dear life. Everything between those two moments was gone, it didn’t exist. 

 And then there was something in the back of his mind – in both his and Tetsurou’s – telling him that _Shouyou could’ve gotten hurt_ wasn’t he where he was. As unrealistic as it seemed now when Shouyou was okay and laughing, the thought was still frightening and disturbing.

 Mostly because Shouyou seemed like the type to never get physically hurt, even if he looked weak.

 “Let’s go home now, alright?” Tetsurou said, turning back towards the lit path in the park and Shouyou quickly nodded, running up to walk beside him.

 It took Koutarou a few more seconds to finally walk up them and wrap his arms around Tetsurou's waist, secretly stealing glances at Shouyou as they walked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one who thinks this chapter ended up being a bit too long o-o? Well never mind! The first thing I'll say is that the first scene was inspired by an experience I had -> I woke up after I slept with my granny in the living room and we have a big window there and you can see a bit of the town. So I woke up at around six and watched the sun rise and it felt oddly peaceful...I just had to make that scene an opening one! Second - Oyakodon is a Japanese breakfast dish served on rice, which I chose out of all the rest cause it has 'Oya' in it...Don't judge me. Third and last - the movie Dark Water is one I really recommend! It holds the signature horror vibe, even if a bit cliche, with a really good actual life drama and the ending is just...Yeah xD I suggest you watch it first.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot title this...

“Shrimpy has a crush on you.” Tetsurou said one evening while they were both lying in bed and watching TV.

  
At first Koutarou made nothing of it. His boyfriend was prone to make silly assumptions when he was half asleep after a rough day, with Rintarou lying across his stomach and purring in happiness. The only thing he did at first was hum in response. He had barely heard what Tetsurou had told him anyway, preferring to watch the owl documentary running on National Geographic instead.

  
“Yeah, I can see it in the way he looks at you.” Tetsurou continued, stroking his fingers through the cat’s short fur and framing the bents of his long spine with his palm, “Plus, you’re totally his type! Strong and big, handsome too, with pretty big eyes and awesome muscles…”

  
“Tetsu, I’m not really listening to you, but I can tell you’re trying to flatter me. Do you wanna bang?”

  
“What? No! Kou, I’m saying that Shrimpy has a crush on you!”

  
“What? No!”

  
“Yes!” Tetsurou turned over on his side to look at his boyfriend, Rintarou still stuck in his arms. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you? The other day in the park when you saved him from falling down those stairs, he looked at you as if you were a god.” He snickered, poking Koutarou’s side, “You weren’t any better either! You two were lost in your own little world. You can’t believe how much I yelled at you and you two didn’t even respond!”

  
“We were both shocked okay!” Koutarou protested, “I was too freaked out to do anything! Plus, last time I checked, Shou had a crush on you!”

  
This time it was Tetsurou’s turn to raise a brow. “Seriously?”

  
“Yeah Tetsu! I mean, he got really touchy with you! He doesn’t tell me as much as stuff as he tells you too. It’s obvious he likes you more than a friend. And from what we learned you seem to be his type too!”

  
Tetsurou only blinked, either too far gone in his thoughts or completely unimpressed with Koutarou’s words. For a moment the two fell silent, again turning their attentions towards the TV and the running documentary. Unlike the nights before, their two canaries were silent. Instead of their cheerful songs, the room was filled with the sound of the steady autumn rain pouring down over the neighborhood.

  
Tetsurou was again the first to speak up, rubbing Rintarou’s belly. “Okay, but can he have crushes on both of us?”

  
For a moment Koutarou seemed like he hadn’t heard him again, until he slowly shook his head, “He doesn’t seem like the type…Though, we are fucking hot, no wonder he might like both right?”

“Very funny, Kou.” Tetsurou snorted, “But no, seriously…Why do I think it would bother me if he had a crush on both of us?”

  
“Cause you’re very nice and sweet Tetsu.” Koutarou answered, completely serious and honest. “I’ll elaborate. It’s because the people we dealt with before were with us mostly because of the sex. We were great friends with benefits. But you’re worried that if we let Shou in, he’ll start wanting an honest relationship with us and you’re scared we’ll break his heart if he does.”

  
“I thought you studied zoology and not psychology.”

  
“I do, but I can read you like an open book by now. Plus, it’s the same with me. I’m kind of having an inner conflict with myself now…Like! I really like Shou, I want him with us, but it seems so unfair…”

  
“Yeah…” Tetsurou quietly agreed, hissing softly when Rintarou bit a bit too hard on his finger. He swatted at his snout, making him sneeze and Koutarou laugh, “That’s what I’m scared off. I’ll talk to him, I’ll tell him how things with us are and that we’re willing to have him with us, fool around, support each other, but he’ll definitely want something more with time and I don’t want to watch him suffer more, but this time because of us. And he’ll definitely want a relationship! That’s just the type he is…”

  
“You’re right, you’re right…Tetsu, maybe you should talk to him.”

  
“About what?”

  
“About how things are with us! It’s better if we just tell him that he shouldn’t wait for anything more and that we can’t offer him what he wants! I think that’s fair…Well, better than having him wait for something that’ll never happen instead of meeting new people and eventually finding the right guy…”

  
“Kou…You’re very smart.”

  
“You’re saying it like it something strange!”

  
Tetsurou shook his head with a sigh, even though he grinned. “And why should I talk to him? Why not you, or both of us?”

  
“Bro…You know I’m bad with words.”

  
“Nothing’s stopping you from being there!”

  
“But I’ll get all embarrassed! You have a good way with people anyway! It’s not like you need me there…”

  
Tetsurou had to agree. If anything, Koutarou could only make a serious conversation awkward for all of them, especially Shouyou, who they still had no idea how would react. The problem with having the conversation with Shouyou came from the fact that they knew each other from barely a month. They had had such a relationship with only two people before and they knew both of them well enough to half way skip the conversation and go straight to being friends with benefits. Those people had trusted them enough as well and unlike Shouyou had no desire to deepen their relationship.

  
But Shouyou was Shouyou. He was shy and prone to getting embarrassed and definitely had a problem with sex to begin with. If both Tetsurou and Koutarou were right and he was developing feelings for them, that wasn’t a good sign for him. He would just end up disappointed and if the two could do anything to prevent that, then they would. A talk about it would be of help. It would help Shouyou realize that he had to move onward and not make any plans or ideas.

  
It actually pained Tetsurou and Koutarou seemed to be in his boat. Because both had grown used to Shouyou and wanted him to be happy. If anything, they had gotten way too fond and protective of him over the little time he had spent with them. They had seen him laugh, seen him cry, seen him scared and sad. He was like a street light and they were a couple of moths, painfully attracted to him.  
But the roles were reversed. The pair of moths could live without the light, but if they stayed to close and for too long, the light would become unable to live without them.

  
“How do you think he would be in bed?” Koutarou suddenly asked and Tetsurou took a moment to imagine Shouyou – naked and flushed, lips parted as he panted under them. The thought was strange however, given that Shouyou definitely had a problem with opening up to people sexually and that obviously bothered him, so maybe it would take more than just a conversation to get the ginger in their bed.

“I actually really want to see that.” Koutarou offhandedly continued, “He looks like the type to be loud…Do you think he’ll want us too one day? If he really has a crush on either of us, or on both, do you think he’ll consider letting us…”

  
“I can’t know, Kou.” Tetsurou shrugged. “But I kind of want that too…Maybe I’ll ask him tomorrow, when I start the conversation. Who knows, maybe we can make him comfortable enough with the idea of having sex with someone and that’ll get rid of his insecurities.”

“And that’ll make it easier for him to get a boyfriend!” Koutarou concluded with a happy grin, “We’ll end up helping him more than he thought…I’m actually getting a bit horny now that I imagine it…”

“Keep it in your damn pants, you pervert!”

“Don’t insult me! I’m not the one with a mile long list of kinks!”

“You never say you have anything against them. As far as I know, you have most of the kinks I have, so shut it.”

With a huff, Koutarou crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on his pillow, quietly watching his documentary.  
The two were quiet again, until Koutarou decided to take Rintarou from where he was lying over Tetsurou’s arm and, much to the cat’s dismay, lifted him up above his head, earning himself a hissing and spitting Rin and a few scratches across the arm.  
While he yelled and cursed, Tetsurou sighed deeply. “I’ll talk to Shrimpy tomorrow.” He decided, “It’s no use torturing ourselves anymore! I’ll make him the offer about the open relationship and the sex and I’ll explain that we can’t promise any…Koutarou, leave my furry son alone!”

  
Seeing his boyfriend torturing and annoying his pet – his pet fighting back with bites and scratches and annoying his boyfriend – Tetsurou stopped his lecture and reached up to pick Rintarou away from Koutarou’s arms, only to hug him close to his chest instead.

“You can have that furry demon you call a son, just take him as far away from me as possible!” Koutarou whined, inspecting his hands for any deeper scratches. Rintarou might have been a calm cat most of the time, but when he got annoyed he didn’t give one or two warning scratches – he went straight for the kill. “One day when I die, you’ll surround yourself with cats and when you die, they’ll eat you in less than a day!”

  
“Too bad for you, but when I die I’ll probably have Shrimpy to bury me before my furry sons eat me.” Tetsurou stuck out his tongue in Koutarou’s direction. “Or even if he doesn’t, I’ll just become a part of my most favorite thing in the world.”

“Ewww.”

  
Not paying attention to Koutarou’s grimace, Tetsurou flopped down beside him – Rintarou quickly leaving his arms in favor of lying comfortably on his lower back and keeping him warm – and wrapped an arm around his middle.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he said before nuzzling his face in Koutarou’s side, “I’m going to bed.”

“Think about what you’ll tell Shou tomorrow.” Koutarou advised, leaning back against the pillow he had propped against the headboard of the bed and running his fingers through his boyfriend’s messy hair, “Think about how good he’ll take it and what a cool boyfriend we’ll find him.”

  
“Yeah…I’ll think about it.”

  
As odd as it seemed, the idea of finding Shouyou someone else made Tetsurou angry and restless.

Shouyou had called Kenma a bit after his final class to ask him if he could come over. Of course, his friend had told him he was welcomed whenever he wanted. The two hadn’t met each other in person in a while and while Shouyou could live with Kenma’s absence in his daily life – another question was weather he actually wanted to – he was one of Kenma’s little friends and he knew that he needed some actual company once in a while.

 

  
That’s how Shouyou found himself walking down the train station and towards Kenma’s building. The weather had worsened since the last few weeks. The fog barely cleared and the air was wet and soggy, little droplets of water flew around wetting Shouyou’s jacket and bothering his eyes. He didn’t like autumn. Unlike winter when he could travel back home to Miyagi where it snowed more and build snowmen with his sister, autumn was the season of constant fogs and raining. It wasn’t comfortable at all and while usually Shouyou liked getting up early in the morning and going for a run, the rainy mornings were his least favorite to take advantage of.

  
He usually didn’t like visiting Kenma in his apartment, for the simple reason that whenever he went there, he felt like he was intruding in the crudest of ways. Kenma’s home was like the material form of autumn. Despite being modernly decorated – in a bit darker color scheme than Koutarou and Tetsurou’s apartment – nicely furnished and warm, whenever Shouyou visited the apartment Kenma shared with Keiji Akaashi, he felt disturbingly uncomfortable even in the presence of his friend.

  
Kenma’s apartment was in a fairly new building outside of Nerima where Koutarou and Tetsurou lived. It was almost as big as theirs, maybe a bit bigger, on the forth floor. Shouyou could reach it with a bit of help from an elevator, the door of which opened right in front of Kenma’s door.

  
Despite the weather and the shivers Kenma’s apartment gave him every time he crossed the threshold, Shouyou was in a terribly good mood. He couldn’t explain it to himself, but the past week had been a good one. His boss had decided to raise his salary as a compensation for having to do the work of his colleague who left work a while ago, he had enough time to ready his school assignments before turning them in, then there was the date with his two roommates which for a reason still made him giddy and happy. There was so much to tell Kenma now.

  
Shouyou happily pressed his finger against the doorbell and held it for no more than a few seconds before taking back his hand. As childish as it might have been, he swayed back and forth on his feet, leaning up from time to time to check if he could see something through the peep hole in the middle of the door – even though he knew he wouldn’t – while he listened to the soft footsteps steadily approaching the door form inside. He heard the many locks of the door come undone one by one – he had no idea how the apartment didn’t feel like a prison to its owners with all those locks over the door – and soon the door opened.  
In front of him stood Kenma himself, dressed in his childish red pajamas and an unzipped hoodie. He smiled softly at Shouyou and stepped aside to let him in, which the ginger did, apologizing for his intrusion.

  
After walking through the door, a visitor in Kenma’s home would be put between three halls, two to the right and left and one leading straight ahead towards the kitchen where Kenma normally invited Shouyou. The hall to the right led to a small broom closet and a door to the left of it led to his and Keiji’s bedroom which Shouyou had seen only once but found far too unsettling to sleep in, even though it was a room like any other. The hall to the left led to the living room. Shouyou had never actually seen it, despite how many times he had been at Kenma’s. He didn’t even ask about it, but Kenma kept telling him that the living room was Keiji’s work room and inviting him there would be like trespassing into his personal space. Judging by the pair of shoes beside the door and the jacket hanging beside Kenma’s on the hanger, Keiji was home and probably locked away in the living room with his incredibly charming dog which Kenma hardly stood.  
If the living room was Keiji’s little piece of the apartment, then the kitchen was Kenma’s. It was small and the furniture there left little space to move around in, but Kenma liked it. There was a fairly large window in the kitchen, from which Kenma could observe most of the neighborhood when he sat down on the dinner table to work on his assignments. There were two chairs on either side of the table, but to its right was a little corner couch on which Shouyou normally sat when he came over. He had a perfect view of the little TV which stood beside the microwave as well so he could watch it if Kenma had a bit more work to finish before completely giving him his attention.  
Despite spending most of his time with Kenma in his kitchen, it felt just as unsettling as the rest of the apartment for some reason.

“Thanks for letting me come over!” Shouyou happily exclaimed, leaving his bag on the little corner couch and sitting with his back to the wall, “I haven’t been here in a while.”

  
“You can come over whenever you want.” Kenma assured him, sitting on the pulled out chair in front of the opened laptop on the table. The little notebooks and papers around it were carefully stacked away from the glass of juice beside Kenma’s arm.

  
“Do you have work?” Shouyou asked, sending the working laptop and the pile of notebooks and papers on the table a look. Kenma only shook his head.

  
“I’m making a project, but I have enough time.” He explained, typing away, his eyes moving over the flat screen of his device as quick as flashes, “I’ll be done in a bit…How’s life with Kuro and Bokuto-san going?”

  
“Great! It’s been awesome! You have no idea how cool they are! Oh, or maybe you do…Never mind! So you won’t guess what happened this week! We went out on a date! Bokuto-san said it was and Kuroo-san agreed! We went and watched a movie then we went out to eat ramen and then we bought snacks and went to the park! It was great!”

  
“I’m glad you can handle them.” Kenma said, not looking at Shouyou but having enough mind to keep up with his story.  
“They’re so cool! Kuroo-san’s especially nice!”

“So he says.”

  
“And Bokuto-san is awesome! You know…When we were out on that date, when we were going to go back home, I kind of tripped down a few stairs and Bokuto-san literally saved me from falling! He was so great!”

  
“I believe.”

  
“I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you helped me move in with them! They kind of freak me out sometimes, but they’re really the best people I’ve ever met! Well, aside from you and some other people, but they’re just…!”

  
Shouyou couldn’t even find the words to continue. That was the first time he was admitting to someone else, and to himself, how much he admired his roommates and how much he relied on them. While he had found that embarrassing a while ago, he thought it was a miracle now.

  
“Do you have a crush on them?” Kenma suddenly asked, actually looking up at Shouyou. His thin brows were raised and his eyes were a bit wider as he stared at his friend from across the table.

  
Shouyou felt his cheeks growing hot and red as he stared back at Kenma. He was in a lost of words and for a moment blinking was all he could do.

  
“O-Of course not!” he spluttered, furiously shaking his head, “No, no, no! I do not!”

  
“Then I just mistook-“

  
“I can’t!” Shouyou interrupted, “They’re together to begin with, so…”

  
He trailed off, leaning back against the couch. What was he going to say? And what kind of impression was he giving when talking about his roommates?

  
Of course, after all the troubles he had caused them, Shouyou was sure that Koutarou and Tetsurou were great people. It wasn’t even a matter of question. But so far everything had been going a bit too good and he had started to secretly enjoy all the affection they gave him. At first Shouyou had thought that their touchiness would be a big problem, especially after the fight with Tobio, but once he grew used to it, once he opened up to them, he started to crave it. And seeing as they had no problem with it, was there a true problem?  
Of course there was – the two were happily dating and with every passing day Shouyou understood that he had no actual place between them. What Kenma was asking about was an outrageous daydream of Shouyou’s which had no way of becoming reality. It oddly disappointed Shouyou. It made him sad and frustrated, more so then the breakup with Tobio and he couldn’t even explain why to himself.

“You know that doesn’t matter right?” Kenma softly said, turning his attention back to his work, “If you have a crush, you can tell them. You’ll work something out.”

  
“I…” Shouyou gulped, “I heard from Bokuto-san that they and Akaashi-san were…”

  
“They were.” Kenma nodded, “I was with them for a bit too.”

  
“No way!”

“Yeah. So it’s not impossible.”

  
“So you were…L-Like dating, but for…for real?” Shouyou stuttered. He really didn’t know how to handle the information his friend was giving him. “Dating, like normal dating? With holding hands and going out and…”

  
“All of that.” Kenma bluntly confirmed, “It wasn’t bad. That’s how I met Akaashi. When it was all over with them, they introduced us. They actually helped me a lot with some things…”

  
“Yeah, but…How does it work? I mean, weren’t you jealous?”

  
“Of who? It wasn’t like I was left out. Kuro and Bokuto-san were already together when I came along. But it was only sex most of the time, so…”

  
“What do you mean most of time and only?!” Shouyou burst out, startling Kenma. He suddenly looked a lot more embarrassed to talk about his relationship with Tetsurou and Koutarou than in the beginning.

  
“Well…That was kind of all there was…” he slowly explained, looking out of the window, at his laptop and at the floor, as long as he didn’t meat Shouyou’s wide eyes, “I wasn’t expecting more…Kuro explained how things were. And it suited me.”

  
“But didn’t you love them?! Why would you start something like that if you had no feelings?!”

  
“It’s not like that.” Kenma frowned, “Kuro and Bokuto-san aren’t like that. They love each other…But they also like helping out other people. It’s not like they’ll refuse someone’s feelings towards them, but they’ll explain that there can’t be anything big. They’ll keep it platonic. But they’re not bad, they aren’t evil either, so they’ll explain it to you first so you won’t be disappointed when…You know. It’s not like you’ll feel left out either and you’ll even forget that everything is...Well, that it’s them and you, not all of you together.”

  
Kenma looked up at Shouyou and when he saw him looking down at his hands, his expression grimmer than usual, he suddenly felt guilty he ruined the little expectations he probably had.

  
“Sorry, if I disappointed you…” he actually apologized, but Shouyou quickly shook his head.

  
“I wasn’t expecting anything anyway!” he declared, “You’re the one who said I had a crush! I really don’t! But…” his cheeks again grew warm and he quickly looked away from his confused friend, “How’s…how’s sex with them? I mean! Is it…Is it rough or…Don’t make me say it!”

  
“I’m not making you say anything…” Kenma slowly drawled, worried for a moment that Shouyou would pass out on the couch from embarrassment. His red face almost glowed with the power of a weak light bulb. “It was good I guess. You’ll be surprised. They’re not rough at all too, well, if you don’t ask…Bokuto-san’s a bit pushy when it comes to it, but he has his ways of calming people…Kuro’s…” his brows furrowed in thought and he really planned to stop – God forbid he actually flattered Tetsurou’s skills in bed in front of Shouyou – but when he looked at how eager his friend was to hear, he quickly rushed through his last words, “Kuro’s average. It’s normal with him I guess. Not bad.

  
“They’re slow at first. It’s really hot and they constantly ask if you’re okay. It’s not scary at all. You get lost in the sensation and barely feel anything more than pleasure. Anyone who’s had sex with them I can call lucky.”

  
Shouyou quickly nodded, vivid images suddenly flooding his mind, and Kenma was glad he didn’t push the subject further.  
The two again fell in a comfortable silence, Kenma typing away on his laptop and Shouyou staring ahead into the hall out of the kitchen.

“Is Akaashi-san home?” he softly asked a few minutes later, having stared enough at a pair of blue snickers he recognized as Keiji’s.  
Kenma hummed in affirmation. “His in the living room doing some work.”

  
“And where’s Fumi?” Shouyou asked, smiling and looking up at his friend. He almost laughed when Kenma scrunched up his nose. He always made the best of expressions when he talked about things he didn’t like.

  
“He’s with him in the living room.” He answered, shaking his head, “I don’t know why I agreed to keep him…”

  
“I don’t know why you don’t like animals so much!”

  
“They’re messy…And that dog’s the king of messiness, more than that cat…”

  
“Are you talking about Rin?”

  
Kenma nodded and Shouyou almost laughed when he saw him actually shudder, thinking about his friend’s cat. “Sassy…”

  
“Hey Kenma…” Shouyou started again after another minute of silence, “What’s it like…Being in love I mean? You’re in love with Akaashi-san, right?”

  
“Why do you ask?” Kenma said instead of answering. He actually seemed uncomfortable of the question itself.

  
Shouyou only shrugged. “I’m curious. I want to see if I was actually in love with Kageyama to begin with…So, what’s it like?”

  
“It’s nice…” Kenma muttered, his fingers stilling over the keyboard, “Being in love with Keiji. It’s like being at home. He isn’t pushy and normally keeps his distance, but when I need him, he’s there. It’s like we can talk without talking at all…He annoys me some times, but we understand each other. When he’s in the room, I feel comfortable. I know you think we don’t talk much, because whenever you come over he’s in the living room, but when he doesn’t have work to do, he stays with me and helps me when I need it. When he’s there I feel warm and safe. It doesn’t matter what others say, if Keiji says I’m okay and it’s all going to be fine, that’s all that matters. There isn’t anyone I trust more than him. I can’t really explain what it is to be in love…There isn’t a word to describe it. But you’ll know when you start feeling it for someone.”

  
Kenma looked up at Shouyou and when he saw him staring with an empty look down at his palms, he quietly asked: “Are you in love with Kuro and Bokuto-san?”

  
“I don’t know…” Shouyou weakly answered, shaking his head. “I don’t know anymore…I’m…I’m really disappointed, you know. Everyone around me has that one special someone and I’m here alone, even Kageyama left me and…”

  
Kenma was just about to stand up from his chair and try to comfort his friend when both of them heard the door to the living room opening. Before they knew it, something furry and with the speed of a torpedo ran down the hall and towards the kitchen, almost slipping on the carpet covering the floor. It jumped on the couch, startling Shouyou, then jumped off and began to seek attention from Kenma, who frowned down at the dog jumping and clawing at his clothes.

  
“Get off, get off,” he groaned, trying to step away from the over happy dog – which had began to whine and bark in happiness, wiggling his tail left and right as a greeting to his annoyed owner – but there was no escape. “Keiji!” he whined, trying to kick the dog away, making Shouyou laugh in amusement. He stopped quickly however when he saw Keiji walk around the corner and down the hall, stretching his arms above his head. He looked dead tired, the bags under his eyes were evidence that he hadn’t slept much and the pained expression over his face showed how sore his body must have felt with every move he made.

  
When he walked in the kitchen with them, the dog in Kenma’s feet quickly stilled and crawled under the table.

  
“I’m sorry if he startled you.” He apologized, fixing the carpet in the hall with his foot, before turning to Shouyou. “Hi, Hinata-kun. I didn’t know you would come over.”

  
“I was just about to go.” Shouyou quickly said, standing up from the couch. He wouldn’t admit it to Kenma, but even though he knew Keiji already and had started to like him, somehow he still made him feel uncomfortable when he was in his home. “Thanks for having me over…”

  
“You can stay for dinner.” Kenma told him, leaning away from Keiji when he tried to lean down and kiss his cheek, “Don’t, not now…He can stay right?”

  
“If he wants, sure.” Keiji offhandedly said, settling in for a short hug from his boyfriend before he turned towards the cupboards to look for his coffee. “How are Pain in the ass Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san doing?”

  
“They’re fine…” Shouyou softly said, reaching down to pet Fumi’s head, which he had purposely stuck out from under the table to temp his house’s guest, “Thanks for the invitation, but I have to go. They’re probably waiting for me too…Maybe some other time!”  
“I’ll see you out.” Kenma said and Shouyou nodded, taking his bag from the couch. He suddenly wanted to leave as quick as he could. Disturbing Kenma and Keiji was the last thing he really wanted to do.

  
While he pulled on his shoes and took his jacket from the hanger beside the door, Kenma watched him, leaning against the wall opposite to the door.

  
“We can talk more if you want.” He told him softly, so Keiji wouldn’t overhear, “You can talk to Akaashi too…He’ll probably give you better advise than me.”

  
Shouyou only shook his head, standing up and pulling his bag over his shoulder. “I don’t want to bother Akaashi-san. He looks really tired…”

  
“Yeah…He’s been working hard to keep up with his deadlines, but I think that he’s taking collage work to a whole new level...”

  
“You should talk him into resting for a bit. Not like I know better than you how to handle him, of course not! Just…”

  
“Shouyou…” Kenma quietly said and before Shouyou realized what was happening, he had his thin arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into a reassuring hug. “I’m sure things with you, Kuro and Bokuto-san will sort out themselves. Just talk to them okay…I’m sure they’ll listen.”

  
Before Shouyou could over think himself, he returned the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around Kenma’s middle and nodded.  
“I can talk to them for you if you want…” Kenma softly said, but Shouyou hurriedly shook his head, stepping away from him.  
“I’ll do it myself. Thanks a lot for talking with me…”

  
Shouyou tried to smile and Kenma gave him a small smile of his own, waving him goodbye as he walked out and closed the door behind himself. He really had to go home, but what would he talk to his roommates about? He wasn’t in love with them, he didn’t have a crush on them either. Or at least – he hoped he didn’t. He didn’t want the story with Tobio to repeat itself, but he didn’t want to find himself a new apartment and move again either. He liked Tetsurou and Koutarou, they were some of the best people he had ever met. He wouldn’t be able to live without them now. But he didn’t want to make the mistake of falling for them either.

  
Shouyou didn’t know what he was going to talk with them about, but he knew he had to. He would tell them how great they are, how thankful he was that they had helped him when he needed it most. He would tell them how much they meant to him and if he really had a crush then what? Anyone in their right mind would develop a crush on such perfect people. But if what Kenma had told him was true, then what if they could have a platonic relationship too? Would Shouyou be happy then? Or would he be disappointed when he didn’t get more?  
All he could think about was the warmth he felt when he fell in Koutarou’s arms that night in the park, about the way Tetsurou was always there in his worst movements and gave him advise, he thought about their date – why had Koutarou used such a silly word? – and about all the nights he had spent together with them on the couch watching movies. Then he remembered how he had fallen asleep in Tetsurou’s arms that one calm morning and his cheeks flushed, while his heart fluttered.

  
What if he really had a crush on them? What then…? And what would their platonic relationship be like if he was too afraid to even let them take off his shirt?

When he got back home, the apartment was quiet. The lights in the kitchen and front hall were off, but those in the living room were obviously on. Shouyou could hear the soft sound of the TV.

  
“I’m home!” he called, toeing off his shoes.

  
Tetsurou answered him almost immediately from the living room. “Welcome home!”

  
Shouyou took a deep, steadying breath, before taking off his jacket and hanging it up beside Tetsurou’s (Koutarou’s seemed to be gone). He left his bag beside their shoes and walked into the living room, where Tetsurou sat on the couch.

  
“Where’s Bokuto-san?” Shouyou asked, walking around the couch to sit beside Tetsurou. He gave him a cautious look and was left surprised at how tense he seemed. He didn’t even pay Rintarou any attention, despite the cat’s futile tries to win it.

  
“He’s out with friends.” Tetsurou answered him, sighing and leaning back against the couch. He spoke again after a few awkward moments of silence, just as Shouyou was about to speak. “We need to talk about something.”

  
Looking up at him with large, confused eyes, Shouyou nodded. “Me too…But I thought it would be better with Bokuto-san here.”  
“Actually, no. It’s better if Kou isn’t here.”

  
Shouyou slowly nodded again, waiting for Tetsurou to say what he wanted to. His heart ached in his chest. He didn’t know what he feared to hear so much – maybe Tetsurou wanted him to move out, or was going to tell him not to go near Koutarou – but whatever Tetsurou wanted to talk about it had to be serious. The tension between them grew with every passing second.

  
Finally, Tetsurou took a deep breath and turned to look at him. “Me and Kou were thinking…Hinata, do you like us?”

  
“Of course I do.” Shouyou quickly nodded. There was no room for question in that matter. “I like you, Kuroo-san. Both you and Bokuto-san. You did a lot for me.”

  
“No, I mean, do you like us. Like like. Do you understand what I’m asking you?”

  
Shouyou felt his cheeks growing hot. All the way home he had been thinking if he like them in a romantic kind of way, his mind was plagued with such thoughts after the conversation with Kenma, but he still had no answer. Tetsurou was looking at him, waiting for a replay. The look in his eyes made a shiver run up Shouyou’s spine, made heat coil in the pit of his stomach.

  
Without thinking, he nodded. “I…I think I like you…That’s what I wanted to talk to you about! Actually, I…”

  
“Stop,” Tetsurou interrupted him and Shouyou quickly stopped. He felt his fingers starting to shake where they were over his lap and he refused to look up at his roommate. “Let me finish before you say anything. Me and Kou talked about this and…We decided it wasn’t worth any of us torturing ourselves and over thinking the situation. You said you like us?” Shouyou nodded. He had so much to say, but Tetsurou continued before he had the chance, “Okay. Me and Kou actually like you too. But let me explain before you get any ideas! You’re our friend and you’re really cute, but we’re together. And we love each other. It’s not like we don’t love you too, but…If you want…”

  
“You want it to be…platonic?” Shouyou softly said, the word rolling oddly off his tongue. It felt unnatural, a word that didn’t suit relationship. He barely knew what it even meant, but it made his heart clench to think that that would be the thing between him and his roommates.

  
“Yes.” Tetsurou nodded, looking almost uncomfortable and guilty. “Me and Kou already had such relationships with other people,” Shouyou already knew, “And it wasn’t a problem before. We talked yesterday and I wanted to ask you if…If you want to be with us like that? Let me elaborate. Everything will be just like it was before. We’ll still go out and we’ll help each other. We can kiss and hold hands, we can do everything you’re comfortable with, just…Don’t expect romance. Don’t expect fancy dinners and…If you meat someone else and you feel like he’s the one, then we won’t stop you from starting a new relationship, okay? Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

  
Shouyou understood. He didn’t want to, but that was the case and he had to understand. Because Kou and Tetsu were together. They were they. And he was always going to be the he in they.

  
He didn’t have a crush on them, he didn’t think he did, but knowing that they were off limits was something he didn’t like. He didn’t like it at all…

  
“I understand,” he softly said, “But Kuroo-san…Let me speak now! Let me explain my part of this…!” Shouyou took a deep breath to calm his nerves, before continuing: “I…I talked with Kenma today. He told me about…Your relationships…” he threw Tetsurou a quick glance and saw that he looked oddly embarrassed, “I thought a lot while I was coming home. About what I felt towards you…And I don’t really know! You helped me a lot and whenever I felt down you were there. You always knew what to say or what to do. I’m really grateful, I would love to be with such amazing people, but…I don’t know what kind of a relationship this’ll be. You’ll just end up disappointed…I’ll be disappointed too, maybe not now, but some day…I don’t want that.”

  
Beside him, Tetsurou sighed. Shouyou couldn’t tell if he was disappointed by his words or relieved.

  
“Can I say something else?” he asked, sliding closer to Shouyou, who nodded without looking up. Nothing could be any worse than what he had already said, so it was better to listen until the end, “The truth is that Kou and I want you with us. We want you, Hinata. So, if you want, there is a way for none of us to be disappointed,”

  
Tetsurou lifted a hand and gently laid it down on Shouyou’s knee, making the ginger blink.

  
“Do you want to know what the deal me and Kou want to make you is?” he asked and even though Shouyou nodded he didn’t continue until he was looking up at him in question. Once he did, Tetsurou leaned down, his hand still over Shouyou’s knee. He got close enough for Shouyou to sense the mint toothpaste he used on his warm breath. “You can answer however you want…”

  
Shouyou’s heart skipped once he understood what he was trying to do. He was waiting patiently for his answer and the little space between their lips was where he had to give it. His breath stuttered, hands trembling in his lap. He wanted desperately to lean in, to seal the deal he was being given, but something deep inside prevented him from it. His breathing picked up and he quickly leaned away, surprising Tetsurou, who had expected a far better answer.

  
“I can’t…” Shouyou shook his head, sitting further away from his roommate. “I just can’t. You don’t want this with me, no one does and no one needs it. You’ll end up disappointed, both you and Bokuto-san. Just like Kageyama…”

  
“No one’s going to leave you, just because…” Tetsurou tried to say, but Shouyou only shook his head again.

  
“No! You don’t understand!” he almost yelled, reaching up to rub his forearms nervously. “You want a relationship that involves…s-sex…I can’t give you that! You’ll end up as disappointed as Kageyama and…”

  
“No one’s going to end up disappointed!” Tetsurou pressed, reaching up to rub Shouyou’s heaving shoulder. “Don’t panic, come on. Don’t feel pressured into anything. Me and Kou won’t push you, nor are we going to be disappointed. Calm down, okay?”

  
Shouyou took a deep breath and slowly nodded. He had no idea why he had said something like that, didn’t know why he had shouted. The only thing he felt in the moment was panic. He had kissed Tobio many times, making out was actually the only form of intimacy he had been willing to go through with him, but having Tetsurou so close felt maddening and no matter how much he wanted to kiss him, he couldn’t find the strength to.

  
And now he probably looked weird and silly. Tetsurou would think the same thing for him that Tobio had.

  
“Hinata…Before we do anything more and before I tell Kou your answer, can you tell me what makes you so afraid of…of sex?” Tetsurou asked after Shouyou’s breathing was again normal. He had wanted to look for better words, but when nothing came to his mind, he decided that being blunt with the subject wouldn’t hurt and would actually help later on with their conversation.

  
He saw Shouyou blink and felt him shiver again. Tetsurou gave him time to think, to gather his thoughts, settling with being in an arm’s length of him so he wouldn’t feel pressured in any way by his presence. He had no idea that this would end up so hard, but then again, what was he expecting?

  
“I…” Shouyou managed to mutter and Tetsurou was ready to finally hear him out, but he ended up shutting his mouth for another few minutes. This time, when he spoke, he stopped only once or twice to catch his breath during the whole story: “I’ve never told this to anyone…It isn’t anything illegal, the reason I mean. I wasn’t molested or anything. You won’t tell anyone right? Not even Bokuto-san?”  
As reluctant as Tetsurou was to keep his words from Koutarou, when Shouyou looked up at him with hopeful and pleading, almost too big eyes, he could help but nod. “I wont tell.”

  
“Thank you…” Shouyou nodded as well, sighing in relief. “I don’t even know myself but…It happened when I was little, in my neighborhood there was this family. They had a kid a bit older than me. His mom was a friend of mine’s and she came to our house a lot for tea. And she brought her kid along a lot of times too. At first we played volleyball in the back yard and I was happy. I didn’t have much friends to begin with. But then he…He kind of changed our games…” his voice grew soft and his face became red. He made a pause for a few seconds, in which Tetsurou patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts and continue. “I had no idea what he was doing, but it felt…it felt terrible. He always made me take off my shirt and my shorts when he came over to my room and when I tried to tell mom she kept telling me that I was making things up. Eventually I stopped telling her, but those games got worse and…I barely remember everything, but I know that I freaked out when he came over with his mom. It never got worse than me getting naked and him probing around, but…it was degrading…They moved some time after. Since then I really don’t like other people getting in my personal space much. So now you know! It’s really embarrassing, I don’t know why I said it…”

  
“So that’s why you…That’s why you looked so scared that morning when I…?” Tetsurou quietly said, feeling completely at a lost of words. When Shouyou nodded, he couldn’t help but feel just as guilty. “I’m sorry…I didn’t know that…”

  
“It’s fine.” Shouyou mumbled, “Of course you wouldn’t know. No one knows. No one should have known either, but…” he trailed off, refusing to look up at Tetsurou, who waited patiently for him to finish.

  
“And you’ve never told that to anyone…?” his roommate asked after he didn’t continue, reaching up to gently pat Shouyou’s back, “You didn’t explain it to your ex either?”

  
The ginger shook his head, still too ashamed to look up at his roommate, “I was too scared to…I mean, I thought he wouldn’t even listen. So I didn’t bother. I thought I’ve outgrown it! But whenever Kageyama tried anything, I froze up…I thought it would eventually go away, because I really loved him, but when it didn’t I got angry at myself and…I’ll disappoint you…I can’t do it even if I wanted…”

  
“That story was…really disturbing.” Tetsurou finally said after a moment of silence, “But thanks for sharing with me. It means a lot…”

  
“That’s why I said that whatever relationship you want with me it won’t work! I just…I tried, okay, but…It doesn’t matter if I want it, it doesn’t want to work.”

“It will work, if you want it and give the other person complete consent.”

  
Shouyou felt confused then. He had been explaining to Tetsurou how much he did want to give consent, but he couldn’t either way. He hated feeling exposed so intimately to someone. It didn’t matter when he got changed for practice in front of his teammates, but when the attention was only on him, on his body, it felt terribly frightening.

  
When he looked up at Tetsurou to try and explain again however, no words left him. He felt as if his roommate’s stare had physical weight over him. It was almost too intense, full of something Shouyou couldn’t recognize or understand.

  
“How about we try it.” Tetsurou softly said, reaching up to brush a strand of fiery hair behind Shouyou’s ear, even though it came out again, too short to stay in its place. He brushed his cold palm over Shouyou’s hot cheek and stared down at his large eyes, “Will you let us help you with this Hinata? If you are serious about hating this nervousness of yours, then you wont mind a bit of help from us. Do you trust me? Do you trust us?”

  
Shouyou felt his heart jump almost all the way to his throat and he tried to push himself away from Tetsurou. “Please…Please don’t make me...”

  
“Shouyou,”

  
“I don’t want you to leave me like Tobio did!”

  
He saw Tetsurou blink in surprise, but he didn’t move or let him go. He kept looking down at him, eyes locked with his. When he wrapped a strong arm around his thin waist and slowly pulled him closer however, Shouyou made no move to escape. He bit the inside of his cheek and felt his eyes fluttering shut in delight.

  
Tetsurou smelled so good. So comforting. His presence was warm and inviting and Shouyou again thought of that morning a few days ago when he had sought closeness from someone else than Tobio for the first time. And just like then, he didn’t regret now at all.  
Sex with Tetsurou might have been good according to Kenma, but Shouyou couldn’t believe there was anything better than kissing him. His lips were soft and gentle against his when they met for the first time and he couldn’t help but gasp in pleasure. His senses were flooded with that perfect man before him, who had helped him and continued helping him. Who knew what was best for him and no matter what Shouyou said, he kept pushing him out of his comfort zone with the best of intentions. Shouyou didn’t regret anything Tetsurou had done for him so far and never would.

  
He wrapped his thin hands around his roommate’s strong neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss and making him groan. Tetsurou in turn slid his hands down to Shouyou’s waist, not daring to move them more than he knew he was allowed. Shouyou might have been loosing his mind in his hands, but Tetsurou couldn’t help but be cautious.

  
Tetsurou gently slid the tip of his tongue over Shouyou’s lips, making him gasp softly. He had been expecting a lot more resistance, but Shouyou willingly parted his lips, taking as much from Tetsurou as he could get. Both were hungry for the other and no one could deny it anymore.

  
After he gently pushed his little soon to be lover on the couch, Tetsurou broke the kiss, licking the saliva away from his lips. He didn’t dare push his luck, even if Shouyou looked so good and hot under him.

  
“That wasn’t your first kiss right?” he asked with a breathy laugh and Shouyou shook his head quickly. His cheeks were so red and the small smile tugging at his lips made him look younger than he was. “That’s good, because I would feel terrible if stole it like that.”  
“I would mind if you did…” Shouyou whispered. There couldn’t have been any doubt in his soft voice.

  
“Will you let me show you more?” Tetsurou asked then.

  
For a moment Shouyou’s eyes shone with something completely different from fear and denial, something hot and precious, something which only Tetsurou might have seen in those warm eyes.

  
With a far too innocent smile, Shouyou nodded. “I want you…I trust you.”

  
His answer made Tetsurou happy. He felt Shouyou’s arms tighten around him, pulling him down for a tight hug which he quickly returned. He buried his nose in Shouyou’s neck, inhaling his sweet scent. While his presence was normally bright and fired everyone around him up, this time it was calming and warm. If Tetsurou wasn’t so painfully aroused by him, he wouldn’t mind falling asleep there, on the couch and in his arms.

  
When he kissed the soft skin under Shouyou’s ear and heard him gasp so sweetly and breathily, Tetsurou realized that if there was anything he would like to hear for the rest of his life, that would be that breathy sound.

  
So he chased more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so long I forgot what this chapter was even about...I also forgot what I wanted to say, but maybe this is the worst chapter so far now that i look over it, kind off...Too much plotless drama, I don't even know anymore. But first, HI! It's been so long! Enjoy this trash!


	7. VІІ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cannot title this either...

Shouyou woke up to the sound of birds chirping – something quite unusual for late autumn. He had only a few seconds to enjoy the happy tune before he was forced wide awake by the sharp slam of the door hitting the wall as it was brutally opened, the sound making him almost jump out of bed.

  
“Good morning love birds!” he recognized Koutarou’s voice, as the man yelled as loud as he could from the doorframe. His loud voice startled Tetsurou, who was sound asleep beside Shouyou, and made him sit up faster than the speed of light. When he saw his boyfriend grinning at the door of their room however, he took one of the two pillows he slept with and threw it his way.

  
“Idiot! Bastard!” he cursed as Koutarou dodged the pillow flying towards his head, and ran a hand over his heaving chest. Shouyou kind of knew what he felt – his own heart was jumping like a rabbit’s behind his ribs from fright, “What the hell is wrong with you?! You freaked us out!”

  
Instead of feeling insulted or ashamed however, Koutarou happily skipped over to the bed. He looked happier than Shouyou had ever seen him and that was remarkable. His hair was messy from sleep – completely contrasting to his normally neat and odd hairdo – and he wore only a double his size T-shirt and a pair of sweats, meaning that he had slept somewhere, sometime during the night, but Shouyou was sure it wasn’t beside him and Tetsurou, on his own bed.

  
Thinking about last night with Tetsurou, Shouyou felt himself blushing brighter than a neon light. It was a complete failure, a failure that started out right and great before everything went down. In the end Shouyou was far too embarrassed to even get out of bed and go to his own room and after a few minutes of being sweet talked by Tetsurou, he ended up sleeping beside him.

  
Until Koutarou walked in the room like the hurricane he was and ruined the peaceful morning they probably would have had.

  
Speaking of Koutarou, the moment he neared the bed, he almost threw himself on the unsuspecting Shouyou, smothering him in kisses and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. On normal occasions Shouyou would have panicked, but all he felt then was confusion. He didn’t know weather he should return the hug at least, or try to push his over reactive roommate off.

  
“Bokuto-san…! What are you doing Bokuto-san?!” he asked, already feeling giddy inside if anything. There was nothing sensual in Koutarou’s hugging or kissing. That was all he was actually doing – his arms were tightly wrapped around Shouyou’s waist, so he wouldn’t, God forbid, run away, while he kissed his cheeks, neck and shoulders. Oh how lucky Tetsurou must be to get the same treatment every morning.

  
Of course, judging by his tired expression as he watched his boyfriend be all lovely-dovely with Shouyou, the kisses and hugs were nice to a point, after which it became if anything annoying to wake up to them every day.

  
“Kou…Kou, stop it.” he tried to warn, when Koutarou got on the bed with them, almost trapping Shouyou underneath him, “You’re gonna freak Shrimpy out, stop it.”

  
“No, no, I’m fine!” Shouyou exclaimed throw a fit of laughter, “I’m okay, I really am…”

  
“So!” Koutarou suddenly said, sitting up and pulling Shouyou up with him, “What did you two kids do yesterday while I was away?”

  
The way he wiggled his brows made Shouyou blush brighter, while Tetsurou tried to act as if he hadn’t heard him, running his hands over his hair instead.

  
“Well?” Koutarou asked, moving his eyes from Shouyou to Tetsurou. “Come on, tell me, I want the details!”

  
“We didn’t do anything…” Shouyou whispered, running his palms down his shirt. Koutarou didn’t seem like he believed him.

  
“No way! Tetsu?”  
He looked up at his boyfriend, who also shook his head. “Nothing. We really didn’t do anything.”

  
“You gotta be kidding me…?! You mean I slept in Shou’s bed so I didn’t disturb you and you did nothing…?”

  
“S-Sorry…” Shouyou felt like apologizing, suddenly uncomfortable with the situation. “I’m really sorry, but Kuroo-san…”

  
“Oh, no, no, no,” Tetsurou interrupted, kicking away the duvet and standing up, “I didn’t insist, I wasn’t pushy and it’s definitely not my fault Kou decided to mind his own business for the first time since we’re together.”

  
“But where are you going?” Koutarou asked him, watching as Tetsurou walked around the bed and towards the door.

  
“To make breakfast.” Was the answer he got.

  
From the ball that was now the covers, Runaround poked his head out and quickly sprung up from the bed to follow his owner, making Shouyou squeak in surprise.

  
“What’re we eating?” Koutarou asked, from the bed.

  
“Natto on rice!” Tetsurou answered from the living room.

  
The answer made Koutarou scrunch up his nose. “Not good, Tetsu!”

  
“You’re not getting anything if you make me angrier, Kou!”

  
After childishly sticking out his tongue at the direction of the door, Koutarou again turned towards Shouyou, whose blush returned full force. “So, did you really do nothing? What happened, come on, you can tell me?”

  
“There really wasn’t anything…” Shouyou muttered, looking down at his hands, “I got a bit overwhelmed and…We stopped…”

  
“And how far did you go?”

  
“Not far…Well, really, we got to kissing and that was all.” That was all he seemed able of doing with someone, as embarrassing as it was.  
Koutarou raised a brow, “Only? Why?”

  
“Well…I just got uncomfortable after that and Kuroo-san seemed just as uncomfortable so…”

“And what did Tetsu do to ruin the mood?”

  
“Nothing! It was mostly…It was all my fault.”

  
“That’s a bit impossible.”

  
“But it’s the truth!”

  
When Shouyou tried to hide again, Koutarou cocked his head to the side, ready to hear the rest of it. But there was no way Shouyou was going to explain his insecurities again to him after he had explained everything to Tetsurou last night.

  
“Look,” Koutarou said, after the silence began to get uncomfortable, “I kind of missed out on your conversation last night, but I knew what you were going to talk about, because I was the one who told Tetsu to talk to you…Well, it was kind of on purpose so it wont be awkward…We talked about it with Tetsu, okay?! Yeah, so, since you were in our bed this morning I figured you…You know, did this and that.”

  
“But we really didn’t-“

  
“Yeah, that’s okay! Me and Tetsu already knew you had some insecurities or fears of your own, so it’s not like we’re going to be pushy, well, I can’t guarantee for myself, but all you have to do is tell me and…”

  
“Bokuto-san,” Shouyou interrupted his rant, “I don’t want to be rude, but, can you tell me what you have to say…? Or you can finish, I’ll listen, but you seemed like you wanted to say something else and-“

  
“Yes, yes, I have something to say! Very important!” Koutarou took a deep breath, “Okay, so I don’t know what you told Tetsu yesterday, I’ll ask him today and we’ll talk, but if we’re going to have anything sexual between us, then it’ll be good if we knew what you don’t like and like before doing anything.”

  
The only thing that worried Shouyou was what Tetsurou would tell Koutarou and what amount of information about their yesterday conversation he would share with him. There was a certain part he promised not to talk about with anyone, but how could Shouyou know? Koutarou was his boyfriend after all. Maybe he won’t want to hide things from him, especially regarding Shouyou.

  
But back to the task at hand. Koutarou was stating a valid point. It was easy for Shouyou to say he was scared, but how could Tetsurou and Koutarou fix the problem when they didn’t know what it was. He already knew they wanted to help him ease his insecurities – he didn’t know why, but he enjoyed the attention and gentleness he was getting out of it – but they couldn’t do it if he didn’t tell them what the cause for them was.

  
His problem was that he couldn’t explain it even to himself.

  
“Well…” he slowly began, “I guess I don’t like being…I don’t like taking off my clothes. I don’t like feeling too exposed in front of people. It’s different when I get changed for practice! I mean, I don’t like when the attention is on me when…You understand right?”

  
“Yup, yup,” Koutarou quickly nodded, “I get that you don’t like feeling exposed, but you know we can’t do anything when we’re all dressed, right? Okay, how about a deal?”

  
Shouyou quickly perked up at that and looked up at his roommate in question.

  
“You won’t worry about anything,” Koutarou told him, running his palms comfortingly up and down his sides, “You’re not going to ask questions either. What me and Tetsu will do will be a complete surprise!”

  
“What kind of surprise?” Shouyou asked, feeling a bit uneasy. Then again, Koutarou’s presence was more than comforting, so he didn’t see a reason to be concerned in the first place.

  
“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you! Just trust us and sit back, we’ll do all the work. You trust us?” Shouyou quickly nodded. “Really, completely, you have to trust us.” Shouyou nodded again and Koutarou grinned, reaching up to ruffle his hair, “Okay then, we got a deal! Carry on with your day and don’t worry about a thing! I’ll go talk to Tetsu now!”

  
He leaned down to give Shouyou’s cheek a loud wet smooch before springing out of the bed and heading towards the door, leaving Shouyou to stare at him in confusion.

  
Rubbing his pink cheek where Koutarou had kissed him, Shouyou wondered if his decision was a mistake all along and if he should tell Koutarou and Tetsurou that he was out of whatever they were going to do. But then, when he thought it over, maybe it was okay to be a bit of an egoist. Unlike his relationship with Tobio, where he was the one giving, now he would be the one receiving, weather the relationship was platonic or not. It made his heart flutter when he thought about it.

  
While Koutarou’s two canaries chirped happily outside, Shouyou fell back on the bed with a deep sigh. He couldn’t believe the mess he had gotten himself into…

 

 

Shouyou spent the night thinking, but not over his studies, but on the odd relationship he had out of the blue decided to try out.  
While sitting on the desk in his room, chewing on the end of his pen while staring at the window’s general direction, Shouyou wondered what he wanted out of a relationship with his roommates. Holding hands and kissing was okay, but they wouldn’t be boyfriends and no one would know about their relationship. What they did would be locked away between them and in their apartment. Shouyou had no problems at all, given that he felt disappointed with any kind of romances, especially after Tobio, but he somehow didn’t feel as happy as he wanted.

  
Speaking with Kenma about feelings was supposed to calm the storm of thoughts in his mind, but it left Shouyou even more confused. Of course he felt good in the company of his roommates, they were easily the best people he had ever met, but it was hard to say when the friendship ended and when the love began. Asking Kenma what love was led to nothing. But maybe love didn’t have a label to begin with. Shouyou had thought that the feeling he had for Tobio was love, but was it really? Then again doubting every feeling was stupid. What stopped Shouyou from loving either Tetsurou or Koutarou, or even both? Wasn’t Tetsurou the one who said they wanted him? In his case it was a miracle to find someone who would even find him attractive, but there he was – being almost confessed to by two amazingly attractive, smart and nice collage students who shared his love for volleyball.

  
A few days ago they had asked him what his type of person was and Shouyou would be forever too ashamed to say that both of them fit the criteria a little bit too well.

  
But what if had a crush on both of them? He had troubles opening up to one person, what went for two at the same time? And that was without the sex. There was also the other problem with them wanting nothing more than that with him. Shouyou didn’t even know why he had agreed to Tetsurou’s deal. Nothing would be at his advantage and the odds that he would steadily grow depressed were bigger than the ones of him growing happy and learning to have a stable relationship ahead of time. He knew himself well enough to know that a platonic relationship with Tetsurou Kuroo and Koutarou Bokuto meant eventually learning more about them, seeing sides of them he would no doubt start liking and that would lead to the indescribable feeling known as love at some point. Shouyou was just that type of person.  
But maybe it wouldn’t be one sided for long? Maybe his roommates would somehow develop the same feelings for him? Either that, or he would really find someone better, someone a lot more special. Shouyou didn’t know what the best would be at that point, all he knew was that he had gotten himself in an emotional mess in just a week.

  
Mess or no mess however, he couldn’t regret it. Falling asleep beside Tetsurou was better than sleeping alone or falling asleep beside Tobio. Waking up to Koutarou was even better, albeit a bit startling. The thing he was getting into was frightening, but it definitely was sugarcoated with a lot of pluses.

  
He might have looked silly, staring at a point in the air, with the tip of his pen between his teeth while he smiled as if he was drunk or high. The feeling was definitely similar, as if he was high but not on a drug, rather on a feeling which played with his mind and set his heart and stomach on fire.

  
Shouyou’s peaceful daydreaming, disguised as studying, was suddenly interrupted with Koutarou walking through the threshold of his room, which was normally kept wide open so the heat from the heater in the living room could reach all the way to Shouyou’s room.

Koutarou didn’t try to be quiet or graceful, he didn’t try to creep up on Shouyou and surprise him, on the contrary. He was just as loud as he was normally. He walked up to Shouyou’s chair, greeted him, even though dinner had ended no more than half an hour ago, and, after stepping behind his chair much to Shouyou’s confusion, he spun it around towards the door.  
“Mind if I steal you for a little, Hinata?” he asked, stepping away from Shouyou’s chair in favor of standing in front of him.  
Having forgotten all about Koutarou’s words and the promise of a surprise from the morning, Shouyou quickly nodded. He took Koutarou’s hand when he offered it and stood up from his chair. When they walked out of the room, Koutarou took the courtesy to flick off the light, much to Shouyou’s confusion.

  
The confusion only grew when he turned off the lights in the living room and kitchen as they passed by them. Eventually, Koutarou led him into his room, where Tetsurou was sprawled on their double bed. He looked surprised when Shouyou walked into the room, pushed in by Koutarou. Whatever his boyfriend had planned, he couldn’t have known about it judging by the casual way he was watching TV.  
“I bring desert!” Koutarou cheered, reaching back to close the bedroom door.

  
“Looks tasty.” Tetsurou said, winking Shouyou’s way, but otherwise he looked more interested in his program.

  
Shouyou still had no idea what was going on – much like Tetsurou – but his heart jumped when Koutarou flicked off the light, sending the three in almost complete darkness.

  
“Go sit on the bed Shou,” he breathed behind him, making the short hairs on the back of Shouyou’s neck stand at attention. The realization of what Koutarou was going to do came over his mind and maybe about that time Tetsurou had guessed what was about to happen too, since he reached over to the nightstand to turn on the bedside lamp, looking first at Koutarou then at Shouyou. There was something worried in his look, worried about Shouyou and his reaction to Koutarou’s suddenness, but there was just as much excitement. He was of course concerned about Shouyou’s feelings and fears, but he was above all a predator.

  
And he was ready for the desert just as much as the bird of pray behind Shouyou.

  
“Okay…” Shouyou softly said, complying with Koutarou’s order. He felt oddly at ease with himself and the situation. He wasn’t scared or worried. Of course there was the coil of excitement in his stomach, but no worry. He walked towards the bed with bold steps and sat down with his back towards Tetsurou. As much as he didn’t want to loose any of them of sight, he couldn’t find the strength to face them either.  
“Kou, isn’t this a bit sudden,” Tetsurou turned towards his boyfriend, the sharp edge of his tone evident. Shouyou was sure that if Koutarou rushed – like he said he was prone to – Tetsurou would be there to either even the forces or stop everything entirely.

  
“We talked with Shou today,” Koutarou replied, reaching down to turn off the TV from the button on its corner, before heading towards the bed, on the edge of which sat Shouyou. “You’re okay, right Shou? Not freaked out?”

  
While Shouyou’s heart did hammer nervously in his chest, speeding up as Koutarou leaned over him, he couldn’t say he was as freaked out as he thought he would be. He was tense of course, and was becoming worried while he thought of how he would do, but his roommates were there to help him calm down.

  
He shook his head, said a short no, and when he looked up at Koutarou, he saw him grin happily. Somehow he couldn’t take anything serious when Koutarou stared down at him with such an innocent look.

  
Of course, he was far from innocent and Shouyou found that out the moment their lips met in a lot less gentle kiss than he had originally expected. From what Kenma had told him, sex with both Koutarou and Tetsurou was slow, passionate and satisfying, but merely kissing Koutarou seemed too passionate if anything. For a moment Shouyou thought he would lose it, that he would get too overwhelmed like the night before and it would be over, but he didn’t. He got a grip on himself before things could go out of hand and forced himself to lean up into the kiss.

  
He wouldn’t be lying if he said Koutarou took his breath away. He eased his weight over his smaller body, eventually pushing him down on the bed, enough to make it hard for him to breathe. His hands slid down his sides, tugged down his shirt, but did nothing to slide it up. The kiss was anything but sweet. It was hungry and feral. It made Shouyou whine, instinctively craving more as he slid his arms around Koutarou’s neck.

  
What surprised him was that there was no tongue. Koutarou wasn’t in a hurry at all. He took Shouyou’s lower lip between his and gave a soft suck, enough to make him groan, before pulling away and latching onto his soft neck. That made Shouyou whine, nimble fingers tightening over the back of Koutarou’s shirt as he licked and sucked on his skin. He suddenly felt confident enough to relax, lying pliant under his roommate and even lifting his chin to leave him more room to work.

  
Feeling the heat steadily rise, Koutarou allowed himself to sneak a glance up at his boyfriend. Gently rolling his tongue over Shouyou’s skin, he made sure to catch Tetsurou’s attention. It was obvious he was barely holding himself back. He observed every inch of Shouyou’s red face, eyes clouded and dark with want, while his hand slowly palmed at his crotch. He probably cursed his patience already and that made Koutarou happier by the minute.

  
He planted a soft kiss on Shouyou’s throat, felt his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he gulped, and leaned up. It was getting hard to hold himself back as well, but there were things to say before they continued to make sure everyone – and especially Shouyou – had a good time.

  
“Do you feel okay Shou?” he softly asked, hearing Tetsurou groan when he suddenly stopped.

  
A bit dazed, Shouyou opened his eyes to look up at Koutarou. He couldn’t believe he had stopped what he was doing so suddenly to ask a simple question, but he was grateful for the pause. He gave a few quick and short nods and Koutarou grinned.

  
“Great!” he exclaimed, resting his weight comfortably on Shouyou’s upper thighs, supporting himself on his knees enough so he wouldn’t crush the boy under his weight. “Now, before we continue, we have a few things to talk about.”

  
“Before you say anything,” Tetsurou interfered, “I want Shrimpy to know that I’m not part of this plan. When you and I,” he gave Koutarou a pointed look, “Talked this morning you never said we’ll do this so early.”

  
“Change of plans,” Koutarou shrugged, “But it’s not like we’re not going to have fun! Shouyou, we talked this morning about some things, but before we do anything, we want you to tell us if they’re right.

  
“Okay, so, me and Tetsu agree that, like you told me, you don’t like stripping. In this case right now, how much clothing do you think you can take off while still feeling okay?”

  
Shouyou was a bit pressured by the sudden questioning, he was sure that the good mood could be kept without it, but on the other hand it was better for Koutarou and Tetsurou to know what he liked in the beginning instead of wondering what to do as the night went on. That would be stressful not only for Shouyou, but for them as well to treat him like a ticking time bomb.

  
“The shirt can go…” he softly said after a moment, “Only the shirt for now.”

  
“Okay,” Koutarou nodded, “Whatever you want is okay. This is for you. The next thing I want to know is how do you want to do this? I mean, do you want only me or only Tetsu to touch you for now, or both?”

  
“Both is okay.” Shouyou agreed, nodding again. His sudden consent and adventurism made Koutarou’s grin widen.

  
“Okay, enough with the silly questions, there’s another thing we want to explain to you before we continue and before my, and Tetsu’s, boners go down.”

  
“You’re so vulgar…” Tetsurou muttered in mock disappointment from where he was leaning back against the headboard of the bed.  
“So you’re saying you weren’t about to jack off to poor, innocent Shouyou?” Koutarou asked him, his words making Shouyou easily blush.  
Tetsurou only raised a brow. “Are you sure you want me to make a comeback to that? Is that what you want?”

  
“You better fucking not!” Koutarou suddenly whined, “You’re damn salty, I’m still not a masochist when it comes to sex…”

  
“No, if you want me to…” Tetsurou offered with a slowly spreading grin, but Koutarou only shook his head furiously before looking back down at Shouyou. He seemed oddly flustered.

  
“Right,” he began again, sending his snickering boyfriend a short glare from under his brows, “So, what we need now is a safe word. We’re used to the color system, but we normally don’t use it. So we’re putting it to good use again just for you!”

  
“You’re making me feel a bit uncomfortable right now, Bokuto-san…” Shouyou said over a small smile.

  
“Yeah, Kou,” Tetsurou said in disappointment again, “Stop embarrassing him, don’t push your kinks on his darling soul.”

  
“Tetsu!” Koutarou growled, coughing in his fist before finally finishing his words, “The system is the following. When you want everything to stop, or when you’re uncomfortable and want a break, you say red. Everything stops immediately and we either continue later when you’re calmer or go to bed. I just want to say that if you forget what to say or are too overwhelmed to think about it, we’ll notice. Don’t think we’ll bee so engulfed in ourselves to forget about you. We’ll occasionally check to see if everything is going good and if it is, you just say green. Easy to remember, right?” Shouyou quickly nodded. “Now, if everything’s clear and we all feel good, how about we move on?”

  
“Come over here, Shrimpy.” Tetsurou said, and when Shouyou looked at him, he saw him patting the space between his legs. He didn’t sound demanding and when he saw Shouyou hesitating, he quickly added, “So we can all be comfortable. I can’t do much but watch you guys from here, can I?”

  
“Yeah, yeah,” Koutarou agreed with a nod, “Plus, I can’t touch Tetsu either and while he doesn’t deserve it, it’s a bit unfair.”  
Tetsurou only rolled his eyes and smiled down at Shouyou. “So, the invitation still stands.”

  
With a small smile of his own, Shouyou rolled over from under Koutarou and slowly edged closer to Tetsurou. Even though his nervousness picked up when he crawled between his legs and made himself comfortable against his chest, he tried to concentrate on feeling good. He made his mind linger on small things, like Tetsurou’s breath against his neck, or how pleasantly his skin tingled where Koutarou had kissed it. And while he was still scared to let himself drown in the feeling, he thought he was making progress.  
Shouyou closed his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath when he felt fingers sliding down his sides. He felt the bed dip in front of him, before Koutarou made himself comfortable between his thighs. He ran his warm palms from Shouyou’s knees down his thighs and backwards, but there was nothing sexual or sensual behind the touch. It was more friendly and comforting than anything.

  
When there was no other movement for a moment, Shouyou opened his eyes. Just as he did, Koutarou leaned down to kiss him again, moving his lips lovingly against Shouyou’s. Behind him, Tetsurou softly traces his lips down his neck, leaving the skin behind in flames, much like that one morning after Shouyou had waken up with a splitting headache and a terrible hangover. Unlike then however, Shouyou was a lot more pliant and felt a lot better.

  
He felt Tetsurou slip the tips of his fingers under his T-shirt, just as Koutarou licked over his lips. It made Shouyou breath out deeply through his nose, sliding back into Tetsurou’s arms.

  
His mind went blank. He felt his skin tingle every time Tetsurou’s fingers slid over it and it suddenly became way too hot. Shouyou definitely wasn’t the only one feeling the heat of the moment either. With a short groan, Koutarou pulled away from the kiss, leaving him panting and blushing, in favor of taking off his shirt. Shouyou couldn’t believe his eyes then. If he didn’t know better, he would instantly become jealous of Koutarou, of how amazingly toned he looked. No doubt Tetsurou loved sex with him, if that was only how he looked.  
Having caught him staring in awe, Koutarou smirked. “Saw something you like?”

  
“Don’t flatter him,” Tetsurou whispered in Shouyou’s ear, “He gets cocky.”

  
“You’re just jealous.” Koutarou mockingly whispered back, rolling his eyes.

  
Instead of continuing with their joking, Koutarou leaned in for another kiss, this time quick and playful. They left Shouyou no time to think, no time to feel scared or pressured. He was swept in by sensations.

  
A playful nip on his shoulder made Shouyou stiffen then breathe out in pleasure. He felt Tetsurou suck apologetically on his skin, as Koutarou kissed past his red cheek to his ear, playfully nipping the skin there.

  
“You can touch if you want,” he breathed, making Shouyou groan in embarrassment, “Being touched might be scary, but touching is better.”

  
He licked the shell of his ear and Shouyou’s breath hitched. Behind him, Tetsurou smirked, gently lifting up the edge of his shirt and revealing his heaving stomach.

“Yeah, Shouyou,” he agreed. Never had Shouyou’s name sounded so dirty to him. “You can do whatever you want. We’re here.”

  
They were doing it on purpose, Shouyou decided. They were embarrassing him on purpose. But God, did he like it.

  
With a soft groan, Shouyou closed his eyes and laid his head back on Tetsurou’s shoulder. His lifted his hands, sliding his palms against Koutarou’s naked chest and down his stomach, nimble fingers tracing every curve of his muscles. It made Koutarou sigh softly against his neck. He covered one of Shouyou’s trembling hands with his and guided it down, much to Shouyou’s confusion. He felt his pulse rise when his sweaty palm touched the edge of Koutarou’s sweatpants, already feeling the hard bulge forming under the material.  
“You see what you do me, Shou?” he quietly asked, sucking a red mark over Shouyou’s skin and making his bite back a whimper, “You do the same to Tetsu…So don’t worry. You’re doing perfect.”

  
He let go of Shouyou’s wrist in favor of sliding his fingers down to caress his exposed stomach. Their tips would come dangerously close to the edge of Shouyou’s pants, it would freak him out and he would just open his mouth to warn him, but then Koutarou would again reach up to tickle his sides before repeating the motion, pushing Shouyou’s nerves to the very edge before pulling him back.  
It was painfully arousing.

  
Shouyou had almost forgotten Tetsurou was there, keeping him down and grounded, until he reached up to turn his face to the side and take his lips into a slow, sloppy kiss. The position was a bit uncomfortable, it made Shouyou’s neck hurt, but he wanted more. For the first time in his life he wanted more from someone. He had never wanted Tobio as much as he wanted his roommates now. Maybe it was the talk they had before everything that put his mind at ease, or the knowledge that he had to say one single word to make everything stop. He couldn’t explain it, but maybe it was Tetsurou and Koutarou’s professionalism that made the green lights in his mind flicker. They knew not to rush, knew where and how to touch to make him melt.

  
And most of all they were just as turned on as him.

  
While he and Tetsurou kissed, Koutarou slid down to give his shuddering stomach a gentle kiss. It made Shouyou break away from the kiss with a sharp gasp. He felt his body shiver with excitement, even though he still had double thoughts on what was happening, making him lean back into Tetsurou for more.

  
And while Tetsurou trailed sloppy kisses down his neck, Koutarou left red marks over his stomach, making his skin tingle.  
“Can I take this off?” Tetsurou asked against his skin, tugging softly on the edges of his shirt.

  
For a moment Shouyou hesitated. His fingers trembled over the skin of Koutarou’s shoulders, making him stop and look up at him curiously. It didn’t take him long however to nod and when he did, neither of his roommates hesitated to strip him of his shirt, throwing it on the bed beside Koutarou’s. It wasn’t very pleasant to have someone’s eyes so focused on him, especially now when there was no fabric to shield him from the hungry stares, but Shouyou wasn’t entirely scared either. There was something exciting in the way Koutarou’s eyes shone as he looked him up and down and Tetsurou probably wasn’t any better.

  
“You’re really hot, Shou…” Koutarou groaned, leaning up to brush his lips over Shouyou’s collarbone. As honest as he sounded, Shouyou felt like he was just flattering him. He wasn’t toned, he had almost no muscles even if he worked out. It seemed like he was completely unable to gain any muscle mass, but he was never concerned about his looks to begin with. Having seen both Koutarou and Tetsurou shirtless however made the insecurities bubble up, as unwanted as they were.

  
“You really don’t want me to take these off?” Koutarou asked, kissing down his ribs, fingers tugging lightly on his soft pajama bottoms. When Shouyou shook his head, he pouted, “Too bad. But don’t worry, we can have enough fun like this…”

  
Shouyou felt Tetsurou move around behind him, before groaning quietly against his shoulder. While he continue to run his hands along Shouyou’s chest and down his sides, Koutarou continued to kiss his lower stomach, leaving red marks and saliva behind each kiss. His fingers slid from Shouyou’s knee down over his clothed inner thigh, making the ginger moan – actually moan – and writhe in their arms. He wanted to arch into Koutarou’s touch, wanted to get more, but his heavy hands kept his hips down, while Tetsurou kept him pressed back against his chest.

  
When his fingers brushed against his clothed erection however, Shouyou stiffened, biting his lip to keep himself from shouting. Among all the green lights in his brain, a red one flickered, but he didn’t dare tell his roommates. He didn’t want them to stop, but he felt panicked at the same time.

  
Sensing his sudden tenseness, Koutarou stopped the movements of his hand and looked up at him. “Feel good?”

  
For a moment Shouyou wanted to shake his head, to yell out red and stop everything, but he didn’t. The pressure on his lip grew and he nodded his head. “M-More…” he gasped.

  
“Are you sure?” Tetsurou asked from behind him, his voice strained, as he gently stroked his sides.

  
Shouyou nodded again, almost managing to convince even himself. “Continue.”

  
“Color Shouyou?”

  
“Green.” He almost whined, growing impatient. His replay made Koutarou grin and he leaned down to kiss the skin just above the edge of his pants.

  
“Great…” he breathed, nuzzling the tip of his nose over Shouyou’s skin, before gently kissing the bulge between his tights.  
The sudden direct – or probably indirect – touch made Shouyou let out a sharp breath through his clenched teeth, fisting his hands into the material of Tetsurou’s sweatpants. His breathing became heavier the more Koutarou kissed and licked at his pajamas, humming and groaning himself.

  
“Does it feel good, Shouyou?” Tetsurou asked him, kissing and nibbling at his reddening ear, “If it does, let Kou know. You can be as loud as you want.”

  
Shouyou wasn’t sure if he wanted, but he was already as embarrassed as one could ever be. When Koutarou stopped licking in favor of stroking down his hard on through his pants, Shouyou couldn’t hold in his moans and gasps even if he wanted. His back arched off of Tetsurou’s chest and heat pooled in his lower stomach.

  
The best part was that Koutarou didn’t stop. He kept pressing his palm against Shouyou’s throbbing need, kept moving it up and down in painfully slow strokes. He never took his eyes off of his bright red face. It was amazing how pliant Shouyou was, how adorable he could look when he lost himself in pleasure. The little breathy noises he made were like the cherry of the cake.  
Shouyou was about to lose it, even Koutarou and Tetsurou could feel it. His hips trembled under Koutarou’s hand and he held onto Tetsurou’s pants – and later his wrist, when he managed to find it – until his fingers turned white. There was a tight knot in his stomach ready to burst and he chased that sweet release even though it scared him. He had never felt so good before, every inch of his skin was on fire and it felt like Koutarou was stroking an open nerve.

  
“Bokuto-san…” he tried to say, voice trembling. He felt Tetsurou wrap his strong arms around him, pulling him down until his head lay over his own heaving chest. He leaned down to kiss his wet with saliva lips, but Shouyou couldn’t kiss back. All he could do was pant and whine into the other’s mouth, saliva trickling down his chin. His fingers wrapped around Tetsurou’s hand and he finally dove into the feeling.

  
Pleasure and heat washed over him like a wave. He couldn’t tell when it all ended, all he knew was that in the end he felt tired, panting and searching for the comforting heat and smell of Koutarou and Tetsurou.

  
With a single flick of his hand Koutarou put an end to his sweet suffering. The knot in his lower stomach burst, sending waves of pleasure over his entire body, making him tremble and moan until his voice was the only thing in the room. A drop of sweat trickled down the back of his neck and Shouyou found out that everything ended far too early for his liking.

  
He felt tired. The heat was becoming uncomfortable, but Shouyou didn’t want to move. He felt Tetsurou kiss and suck on his already bruised neck comfortingly. His own breathing seemed ragged, but Shouyou couldn’t think about it. All he could think about was that he felt good. Tired and sticky with sweat – the mess in his underwear wasn’t comfortable at all either – but happy and content. He sighed and gasped softly when Koutarou leaned up to kiss his bitten lips, just as happy and content as him.

  
“How did it feel, Shouyou?” he asked him, running his hand down his hip.

  
“Great.” Shouyou almost whispered with a small, happy smile. “It was great…Thank you.”

  
He felt Tetsurou’s arms tighten around him, as he leaned up to kiss his sweaty temple. “As long as you’re okay, then all’s good. Do you want to take a shower now?”

  
“Yeah…I actually have to.”

  
After a second of hesitation, Shouyou turned around in Tetsurou’s arms to give him a light peck on the cheek. He deserved a lot more and Shouyou had a lot to give, but for now, he could settle with just a kiss.

  
Before anyone could ask questions, Shouyou took his shirt, gave Koutarou a short goodnight kiss – he tried to steal another, but Shouyou ducked his head before he got the chance – and stood up from the bed. He almost ran out of the room, overflowing with joy.  
He rushed through his shower, mind occupied with thoughts about what had just happened. His akin still tingled where Koutarou and Tetsurou had touched him and whenever Shouyou touched the little red marks over his stomach and collarbones, he remembered how good it felt when they were made. Sex with Koutarou and Tetsurou really was slow and sweet – and that wasn’t even actual sex. Shouyou had never felt more at ease in the hands of someone else. At first he thought that nothing would happen, that he would panic, but he enjoyed every second of everything. He felt warm and giddy inside only thinking about it.

  
While he stood under the hot water in the shower and felt it trickle down his body, washing away the signs of their activities, Shouyou felt pride aside from the happiness. Sure, they hadn’t gone all the way, they had practically done nothing, but a little over a month ago even so much was unthinkable for him. And for everything he had to thank his roommates.

  
He quickly dried himself off in his room and pulled on some clean clothes before heading back through the dark apartment towards the room of his roommates. Just before he walked in however, he stopped. His hand froze over the door handle. Through a small crack between the door and wall, he could see what Tetsurou and Koutarou were doing inside and it made a blush creep down his neck and up to the tip of his ears. He gulped down the saliva gathering in his mouth, unable to tear his eyes away.

  
So that’s what it meant and how it was done, he thought, as he watched and listened to Tetsurou groan in pleasure, panting and writhing under Koutarou. Koutarou was a sight of his own – his hair was a mess and his chest was glistering with sweat. Tetsurou’s hands were trembling where they ran down his shoulders and back. Their bodies were illuminated by the soft yellow light coming from the bedside lamp and the light coming from outside through the large window. It was the most erotic thing Shouyou had ever seen and probably ever would, no matter how big his comparison base got.

  
He suddenly felt jealous. His heart hurt. The more he listened to Tetsurou rasping out Koutarou’s name and Koutarou cooing his, the worse the ache in his chest became. Just then did he remember that while he had gotten amazing satisfaction from what they had done, his roommates hadn’t. Receiving was great, but giving had to be better, like Koutarou had said. And Shouyou hadn’t done it. He couldn’t do it.

  
Then why was he jealous and why did he felt so left out? What was he being left out of? Tetsurou and Koutarou were together. They could do whatever they wanted in their room and it wasn’t Shouyou’s place to be jealous. That’s why their relationship would be platonic. That’s why they would forever be friends with benefits, as ugly as it sounded. In the end, they weren’t dating. Shouyou had no place in that bed or with them, especially if he couldn’t give them the satisfaction and pleasure they gave him.

  
Feeling ashamed enough for so rudely spying, Shouyou quickly turned back on his heel and almost ran through the living room back to his own. His heart beat faster than a shocked rabbit’s. It was amazing how quickly one’s mood could go from over excited and happy to stressed and worried.

  
After closing the door to his room, Shouyou threw himself on his bed and dove under the covers to hide his burning face. He couldn’t have been more ashamed than he was. What was he expecting? Hugs and kisses? To sleep with them? That wasn’t said anywhere in their invisible contract.

  
But still, he had expected…something. Something sweet. But they had their needs as well, needs he couldn’t take care of. He felt jealous, but even so he understood there was nothing to be jealous of. Those mixed feelings were the worst. They made him turn and toss in his bed completely taken over by anxious thoughts. It was all a mix of emotions he couldn’t get rid of and it confused him where they came from and where they would go. All he knew was that they meant certain trouble for him.

  
Shouyou ended up thinking about his roommates too and their activities, behind the door of their room, in the dark. He kept hearing their groans and moans, remembered how ragged Tetsurou breathed behind him, making the hairs on his neck stand. Kept imagining them together, doing what they could have done with him if he wasn’t so scared and frustrated. He was surprised he had even felt arousal despite the stress of the situation.

  
Maybe an hour passed, maybe two, and Shouyou still didn’t feel at ease enough to sleep. He kicked away his duvet in the end, almost turned his bed sheet into a ball at his feet. He tried several positions, tried covering himself, uncovering himself, sleeping with his head under his pillow – like Tetsurou – tried sleeping without it at all. But nothing helped. The thought of what his roommates were doing haunted his mind and made him blush in the secure darkness of his room.

  
The only warning he got were two short knocks on his door before it creaked open, letting the faraway light from the living room in. Never in his life had Shouyou turned around and hugged his pillow as fast as when he heard Koutarou’s voice coming from the doorframe.  
“Shouyou?” he heard him whisper, slowly slipping into his room and walking towards his bed – Shouyou actually had trouble hearing his steps and mentally imagining where he stood. “Are you awake?”

  
Shouyou of course didn’t answer. He didn’t have the courage to. He kept his eyes tightly shut, feeling Koutarou stare down at him. He wondered how he managed not to shiver, feeling someone’s eyes run up and down over him as he cowered, knees up almost to his chest. But maybe Koutarou would think he was just preserving from the cold – his duvet was anywhere but over him after all.

  
“You probably aren’t.” he heard Koutarou whisper again. Why he was at his room in the first place, searching for him and asking if he was awake, was something Shouyou wanted to know. But he wouldn’t handle looking up at Koutarou now, after he had seen him lose himself to…Lose himself to Tetsurou and coo and grunt his name while he panted and moaned…

  
Shouyou had to bite the inside of his cheek to end the fantasy there before Koutarou noticed. He felt him linger over him for a bit more, studying him. Then, just as soundless as before, he felt him move. Shouyou was ready to sigh in relief, thinking his roommate had finally decided to leave, but thank God he didn’t, because in the next moment, he felt heat in front of him, felt Koutarou’s hot breath over his cheek before gentle lips touched his heating skin.

  
He almost squeaked then, almost blowing his cover.

  
“You did really good, Shouyou…” he heard Koutarou whisper against his skin. For a moment Shouyou was scared he would finally feel how warm his skin was despite the coolness of his room. “Really good for both me and Tetsu…”

  
The muscles of his stomach contracted and he felt his heart jump all the way to his throat, making it hard to breathe for a moment. He felt Koutarou’s lips move from his cheek to his forehead, where they stayed.

  
“You were great.” He said after a moment and Shouyou tried not to move or steer when he felt his warm cover again making it over his body. Not like he was cold – he felt far too hot. “You were really hot and sexy Shou…The best.”

  
The duvet was tightly wrapped around his body and all Shouyou wanted to do was sink deep into its warmth, to feel Koutarou so close and to hold him. He wanted his senses to be so full of him, that they would completely push away his anxiety and worry.

  
Just then did he remember that he was supposed to be asleep and that every little move could give him out. No matter how much he wanted to reach up and wrap his arms around that perfect person who had the care to see how he was, what he was doing, who cared enough to praise him and cover him when he was probably cold.

  
“Good night now.” Koutarou said in a hushed tone, softly kissing Shouyou’s forehead again. He leaned up, gently running his hand through his soft hair, damp with water from his shower earlier, before walking around the bed and towards the door again. Shouyou didn’t hear his steps. The only thing that told him Koutarou was out of the room was the soft click of the door being closed and the disappearance of the little light coming in all the way from the living room.

  
Shouyou held his breath for a moment. His heart fluttered in his chest and he could hardly contain the grin trying to creep up on his cherry red face.

  
He held his covers tightly wrapped around his body, inhaling their scent deeply. He felt like he could explode from joy. What was there to worry about? What he been so anxious of? It was only normal for his roommates to let out the steam gathered after doing everything to him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He would one day sleep with them, in their bed, it was only a matter of time.

  
Shouyou could finally sleep in peace, but just before he drifted off, he considered the idea of really having a crush on Koutarou and Tetsurou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First try at writing smut in this fic, turned out okay? Bad? Please comment! ^^ I am sorry that I can't publish the third chapter I promised you guys while I had no internet, but I lost the motivation to finish it...It would have been just steamy, self indulged smut, completely plotless, If i have to say so myself, so you wont be missing out on much...Next thing I want to say, which might disappoint some (I actually hope it does, it means you liked the fic) is that I kind of lost my inspiration to write this...It's been just so long and I can't seem to gather my thoughts and put them to words. That doesn't mean that I wont be working on something terribly fantastic in the mean time and this fic will most definitely (maybe) return for my birthday in January (January 5th, 05.01, somebody please understand how special the day I have been born on is!!!)! Thank you all my lovely readers for liking this peace of romantic trash! I hope you not only wait for it to continue, but check out my other works as well ;) I would be very glad if you leave feedback too! Thanks a bunch guys, and thanks for the understanding in advance!


	8. Tagged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEАR, SCHEONES NEUES JAHR, С НОВЫМ ГОДОМ, FELIZ NAVIDAD!!! I'M SO GLАD TO BE HERE AGАIN WITH YOU GUYS! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHАPTER АS MUCH АS I ENJOYED WRITING IT FOR YOU! I WISH YOU EVERYTHING BEST AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THE FIRST THING I POBLISH FOR THIS YEAR!

 Exactly a month after Shouyou had entered the bizarre relationship with his roommates, he again found himself in their bed, after so many times already. The difference now however was that they were ready to devour him and there was no room for patience.

 The first snow had began to fall out side, while the only light in the bedroom came from the large window. Shouyou’s fingers trembled as he held onto Koutarou’s shoulders, feeling his face heat up. Behind him, Tetsurou bit the sweaty and hot skin of his shoulder with enough force to break it, making Shouyou wince sharply.

 The sound made Tetsurou chuckle. “You’re doing a lot better than last time.” He praised, trailing his hands down Shouyou’s sides.

 And he definitely was. Unlike all the other times they had done similar things behind the closed door of their bedroom, this time it was Shouyou who had initiated the contact. Even if he was well aware that tonight, he was getting himself in a lot more than he imagined.

 With a soft whine, Shouyou leaned foreword, his already naked chest sliding against Koutarou’s. His short needy pants made the older grin, as he slid his hands down to grasp Shouyou’s thighs. Koutarou himself was growing needy and just as greedy and couldn’t help but move his hips up, rubbing against Shouyou. That was allowed now, so many things were allowed now.

 “Yeah, Shou,” he groaned, gently licking down the ginger’s throat, leaving the skin behind in flames. “You’re doing so, so good. Can I take these off…?”

 He trailed his fingers to the edge of Shouyou’s jeans and tugged at the belt loops. Koutarou was almost sure in the nod that followed. Shouyou had really come far in handling his fright and insecurities when it came to their activities. While in the beginning he could barely handle stripping, he didn’t care now. Of course the only obstacle left to handle were the boxers he insisted on keeping on, but aside from that small detail, Koutarou and Tetsurou could now do all they pleased with him and Shouyou wouldn’t even flinch.

 “So hot, Shouyou…” Tetsurou groaned, enjoying every piece of skin which was revealed in front of his eyes, as Koutarou slowly tugged down Shouyou’s dark jeans. He felt his boyfriend eyeing him while he sucked on their little roommate’s neck and was almost ready to swear he was using Shouyou to tease him.

 Once the pesky material was down to Shouyou’s knees, Koutarou slid his hands up his hot thighs until his fingers rested just bellow his somewhat flat ass. He might not have been particularly muscular – not completely feminine either – but his thighs were fitting for a volleyball player. Shouyou’s legs in general could be short, but that didn’t mean they weren’t to die for. The pleasure of having every muscle trembling beneath his fingers was immense for Koutarou.

 There was no doubt Tetsurou felt just the same. He slid his hands down from Shouyou’s sides to his cheeks and shamelessly squeezed the flesh, making Shouyou moan and wiggle his ass further into his hands. The greatest thing that had happened in the past month was the way Koutarou and Tetsurou had helped him get over the feeling of dirt and shame which took over him. That had to be the greatest problem and the only one to overcome. And he was overcoming it quite well to be honest.

 Shouyou couldn’t support himself anymore. His arms shuddered way too much. Heat and energy coursed through his body making every cell shake with pleasure. He fell against Koutarou, who couldn’t help but lift his chin and sloppily kiss his already wet lips. That only made Shouyou moan, one hand wrapping around Kountarou’s neck while the fingers of the other slid in his wild hair, already messy.

 “God, Shou…” Koutarou gasped, messily kissing the little ginger in his arms while trying to talk, “I have to…warn you about something before we continue.”

 “Hmm.” Shouyou impatiently whined, looking up at Koutarou with heavy-lidded eyes, full of so much trust and want it made the Koutarou’s heart melt.

 “Tonight,” he softly groaned, kissing Shouyou’s chin, “If we do it…I won’t be satisfied with just watching you.” The glint in his eyes took a more dangerous turn and when their eyes met, Shouyou felt a shiver run down his spine. One of thrill and fear, mixed with the slow pleasure Tetsurou’s fingers were giving him.

 “What…?”

 The only answer he got was another hot and sloppy kiss, which made the worry melt. While they kissed, Tetsurou’s fingers trailed down his thighs than up his abdomen and stomach, passing just by the evident bulge in his boxers. Long fingers slid up his glistering skin, soon finding his already hard nipples. Grinning at the soft whine he received then, Tetsurou didn’t hold back and gently flicked one, while pressing down on the other.

 The stimulation made Shouyou groan and gasp in Koutarou’s mouth.

 “My, Shouyou.” Tetsurou slowly said behind him in mock surprise, “I didn’t know you were so sensitive here…Maybe we kind of missed it, huh Kou?”

 Koutarou gave a muffled sound of affirmation, making his boyfriend chuckle while he pressed against Shouyou, his crotch rubbing just over his sweet ass. As wondrous as it was, he was still fully clothed from the chest down, despite how tight his pants were.

 When Koutarou broke the kiss, Shouyou quickly took a few deep breaths, already feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He whined when Koutarou bit down on the skin of his collarbone, suckling until he was certain the mark left would be dark and visible for days. Only then did he continue to kiss down, taking a hold on one of Tetsurou’s wrists in favor of guiding it down to his own boxers. He knew Tetsurou would never refuse such an obvious invitation. And while his fingers pressed against Koutarou’s clothed need as skillfully as always, Koutarou’s mouth took their place over Shouyou’s nipple. He took the hard nub between his teeth, gently biting down before rolling his tongue around it and making Shouyou cry out, his fingers tightening painfully over Koutarou’s shoulders.

 They hadn’t talked previously. This had to be off limits – everything. It was suddenly too much, Shouyou couldn’t breathe. But instead of fear, he wanted more, which was something his fuzzy brain couldn’t comprehend. The only thing he could do was take all he could.

 But in the same time, something in his mind kept telling him that everything was wrong. That he should be doing what he was and enjoying it so shamelessly.

 Confused by all those new thoughts and feelings, Shouyou felt a small angry tear escape his closed eye and slide down his hot and red cheek. His fingers dug into Koutarou’s hair, but instead of trying to pull away or yelling out red, he kept him close, diving further into the burning feeling.

 He had no regrets at all.                                

 Shouyou felt a dribble of saliva run down from his chest to his navel. When he whined, Koutarou and Tetsurou shared a quick look. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled down. He almost missed it in his daze – his hips being pulled backward so he was on all fours in front of Koutarou, his fingers digging into the sheets between his thighs. His body was left with no touches, cold and wanting. Shouyou felt fingers run through his hair and whined, subconsciously leaning into the touch.

 When he opened his eyes he was met with Koutarou’s encouraging but lustful gaze. For a moment Shouyou was confused. He was already getting frustrated, lost in his own desire and need, ready to beg if he had to – completely shameless – but then he understood. He licked his lips and took a deep, shuddering breath, before looking down where Koutarou’s own need rested between his thighs, under the way too tight material of his boxers. A small but evident wet splotch was already forming on the front.

 With a small whine, Shouyou felt Tetsurou squeeze his sides comfortingly, while Koutarou kept his hand in his hair in a soft and encouraging gesture, even if it felt commanding.

 Shouyou looked up at him then, his large eyes just a bit fearful and unsure. “You’re going to have to tell me how…” he trailed off. His voice was already a whisper and he felt his throat clamp down on every word he tried to say.

 “There’s no need to do it if you don’t want to.” He heard Tetsurou say from behind him, the tips of his fingers running up his inner thighs and taking his breath away.

 “Yeah, Shou,” Koutarou chimed in, voice raspy and eyes hooded. As sure as he sounded in his words, Shouyou was sure he didn’t really mean them. “We’ll stop if you want to. But, nnnh, I won’t mind if you just try…” his voice grew needy and weak and Shouyou felt heat shoot straight to his already leaking cock, then back up to coil in his lower stomach where it remained – heavy and painful.

 Of course he wouldn’t mind. How would he mind? But Shouyou was nervous. What if he messed up? Both Koutarou and Tetsurou had showed him nothing but pleasure ever since they started this weird mess they called relationship, so it wasn’t fair if Shouyou couldn’t return the favor.

 With a small gulp he tried to use all the little knowledge he had on how to give a blowjob and with a little visualization, he finally decided to actually try doing it in practice. His heart thumped painfully in his chest, palms going sweaty as they squeezed the sheets under him. With a shuddery exhale, Shouyou finally leaned down, guided by the hand in his hair, and stuck out the tip of his tongue to softly lick the wet spot spreading over Koutarou’s boxers. The feeling was rough and unpleasant, far from the actual thing, but the heavy smell of arousal made Shouyou’s cheeks heat up and made his stomach swell. He licked his lips before giving the front of Koutarou’s boxers a broader, braver lick, following the arch of his hard cock and feeling his fingers tighten in his hair as he choked out a gasp.

 “So good…” Koutarou breathed, leaning back against the headboard, “Just like that…”

 Behind Shouyou, Tetsurou had to bite his lip not to chuckle, as he watched his boyfriend turn into a helpless panting mess. He pressed tightly against Shouyou, hands groping and touching every piece of skin they could find, stopping not once or twice on his shuddering hips and ass, every touch making the ginger yelp and gasp as he tried to work his tongue over Koutarou’s clothes erection. The sight before him was terribly arousing.

 “Shouldn’t you take those off, Kou?” he asked, voice so low it almost turned his words into a growl – or a terribly sexy purr, “It looks almost painful…”

 He saw Koutarou desperately nod and almost laughed, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on Shouyou’s tense shoulder. “You want to help him too, don’t you Shou? Or do you want to tease him a bit more?”

 He knew it was a lie. Shouyou was nowhere near teasing anyone on purpose. But the reaction he got from those words was priceless. The ginger’s face grew as red as a tomato and every muscle in his body tensed under Tetsurou’s practiced fingers. For a moment Tetsurou thought he would pass out.

 “Can I take these off, Shou…?” Koutarou asked, voice strained, as he looked down at Shouyou. Almost as if he was pleading. Or maybe he was. Because he knew that when it came to Shouyou, everything had to be a plea. He wasn’t Tetsurou after all. He wasn’t teasing him and wouldn’t say no just to see him beg. He was genuinely worried of his performance and it was up to Koutarou to show him how, not rush things and leave a bad taste in his mouth – literally.

 With a little hesitant nod, Shouyou agreed, looking shyly away. When Koutarou’s fingers left his hair in favor of stroking down his cheek, thumb rubbing along the hot skin, he leaned into the touch without question. He felt terribly hot, as if he was in a sauna or at the hot springs. Every inch of his skin was sticky with sweat and all he wanted was to relieve the tension between his thighs. But first things first…

 Koutarou’s hand left him for a few seconds in which he struggled to get rid of his boxers, clinging to his sweaty skin. Once the material was out of the way, he quickly resumed his place on the bed. He stroked Shouyou’s burning cheeks, eyes wide as he marveled at how sweet and hot he looked. So inexperienced and naïve, only for him and Tetsurou. All theirs to take.

 With those thoughts swirling through his fuzzy mind, Koutarou sealed their lips in a bruising kiss, lapping at Shouyou’s wet lips and leaving him no time to answer. He didn’t want Shouyou to answer, didn’t want to return anything. It was never the same with Tetsurou. Somehow between them everything was to be evened out and returned, but with Shouyou all he wanted was to show him pleasure, all he wanted to do was see him panting and moaning so loud that the neighbors from the other building could hear. Shouyou made him want to only give and give as much as he could. To show him how worth it he was and how amazing he felt just the way he was.

 “Thank you…” he almost whispered against Shouyou’s lips once they broke apart. He was rewarded with a small, happy smile, which he couldn’t help but kiss – short and sweet – before flopping back against his pillow, feeling content enough with just seeing Shouyou between his legs.

 For a moment he looked up at Tetsurou as well. His eyes skimmed across his naked chest and stomach, while he tried to undo his pants and still keep as close to Shouyou as he could. His narrow eyes were studying Koutarou, flashing with mischief and something else. Something softer. Something reserved for only when they were alone and sickly in love.

 With a short happy huff, Koutarou looked away from Tetsurou and back down at Shouyou. He traced his jaw with the tips of his fingers, felt him gulp and saw him lick his red from kissing lips, before he guided his face closer to his dripping cock. The ginger looks doubtful and hesitant at first, face unnaturally red, but just like before, he takes a slow shuddering breath before closing his eyes and sticking merely the tip of his tongue between his lips. Koutarou has to bite his lip when he runs it up his shaft, all the way to the tip and tries to concentrate on the way his cute nose scrunches up at the taste of the dripping precum. The sight alone is a terribly big turn on.

 It takes Shouyou only a few more licks to finally get the hang of things, even if he’s still hesitant and far too careful. Every short, slow and gentle touch however makes Koutarou’s body tense up and he soon finds himself closing his eyes, as warmth spreads in his chest. His fingers once again find Shouyou’s hair where they stay, too afraid to pull or tug.

 “Just like that Shouyou.” He hears Tetsurou saying, somewhere from afar, and just then does he remember that he was supposed to tell Shouyou what and how to do it. But it was no use now, he couldn’t speak or give directions even if he tried. And Tetsurou’s voice is so warm and lustful, it only adds to the sensation of Shouyou’s soft tongue, running up and down his swollen flesh, “Don’t be scared to lick the head too…Yeah, just like that…Does it feel good Kou?”

 Koutarou can only moan, the sound mixing with Shouyou’s soft pants and whines. He feels liquid drip down his hot cock and pool between his thighs. The bitter precum mixes with Shouyou’s saliva, as the ginger completely forgets to swallow or even breathe. All he thinks about it moving his tongue the way Tetsurou tells him to, making Koutarou shudder and gasp, fingers trembling in his soft hair.

 “Feels so good…” he breaths out, biting his lips harshly for a moment, “Way too good…God, Shou… _Tetsu_ …”

 Tetsurou watches his boyfriend’s face with glimmering eyes, licking his lips. His fingers run down Shouyou’s shuddering stomach, caressing gently and softly rubbing around his navel before tickling lower to touch just above the line of his boxers. The gentle touches make Shouyou moan lowly as he continues to lap at Koutarou’s need, loosing his hesitation and worry with every lick.

 A dangerous grin spreads over Tetsurou’s face and he leans down over Shouyou. He slowly runs the pad of his thumb over Shouyou’s abdomen before lowering his fingers to ghost over the front of his boxers, already wet, much to his pleasure. He felt the ginger tense under him when he gently pressed his fingers down and gave a hard slow tug on his need.

 “You hear that, Shouyou?” he hotly whispers into his ear, softly sucking on the red tip before speaking again. “Do you see how good he feels? Do you want to make him feel even better?”

 The answer is obvious. All Shouyou wants now is to do good, to pleasure Koutarou and be good for Tetsurou. The only answer he manages to give is a sharp moan when Tetsurou’s fingers move against him again, the friction delicious and hot.

 The sound makes Tetsurou’s grin widen. “Then take him into your mouth Shouyou. Take him as deep as you can and swallow…See what happens…Don’t be afraid to experiment.”

 “Watch the teeth.” Koutarou squeaks, bucking his hips. He could only imagine how good Shouyou’s mouth would feel.

 “Yeah, that too.” Tetsurou nods, licking and sucking on Shouyou’s shoulder, listening to his harsh pants and gasps.

 For a second Shouyou looks up at Koutarou, licking his lips and gathering enough courage to lean down again. He shuts his eyes, circling the tip of his tongue over Koutarou’s sensitive head and tasting the bitter-salty precum before finally taking the tip in his mouth. Koutarou’s fingers twist in his hair as he gives a sharp, breathless moan.

 The feeling is odd, but not scary. Shouyou feels comfortable and most of all – in charge. He moans around the head of Koutarou’s cock as Tetsurou continues steadily stroking his. Everything is so slow and hot, all of them have time to spare and no one even thinks about rushing tonight.

 Shouyou takes a deep breath through his nose and, using his own imagination and minimal knowledge, takes Koutarou deeper into his mouth. It was harder than it looked, especially when he was so… _big_ , and Shouyou’s mouth seemed so small now. When the tip touched the back of his throat, he almost panicked. The ticklish feeling made him choke and he quickly leaned back up, coughing softly and brushing his lips from the saliva and bodily fluids with which Koutarou’s need was now covered.

 He heard Tetsurou snort from behind him, while Koutarou took a deep, steadying breath. “Don’t take it all in.” he advised, running his hand through Shouyou’s hair, “Just…Not at once…Don’t force yourself.”

 “How about you try again?” Tetsurou purred, wrapping his arms around his middle. He suddenly felt sorry for almost laughing, but Shouyou was so adorable.

 With a soft huff, the ginger leaned back down. Without hesitation he took Koutarou back in his mouth, not forcing himself to go down all the way, rather taking as much as he could without choking before giving an experimental suck – not too hard, but enough to make Koutarou groan. He did it once or twice again, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste, before drawing back. Guided by the hand in his hair, the pressure of which grew heavier with every move he made, Shouyou began to slowly bob his head up and down, slurping up every drop of sticky precum that fell on his tongue. He suddenly didn’t mind the taste as much as he had.

 “Use your hand…” Koutarou suddenly breathed out, groaning as Shouyou stopped to look up at him in confusion. As quickly as he could, he took Shouyou’s hand, the fingers of which were furiously fisting the bed sheets a moment ago. “Just…touch where you can’t…nghhh, use your fingers where you cant reach with your mouth…!”

 He sounded so desperate, so desperate for him, Shouyou felt his heart flutter. He reached up to wrap his trembling fingers around the base of Koutarou’s hot member, feeling sticky sweat slowly trickling down his naked chest and neck. Shouyou continued to use his mouth as he had, carefully listening to every direction Tetsurou gave him, raveling in the hot words, lovingly whispered in his flushed ear in that low, slightly gruff and rumbling voice.

 Caught up in the heat of the moment, Shouyou completely forgets to move his trembling fingers, already coated with bodily fluids and saliva. But they’re there, making Koutarou tremble in anticipation for more. He wants them to move so bad, to work over him with Shouyou’s mouth and finally push him off the cliff he’s standing on by just a hair. But when it’s obvious they won’t budge on their own, he completely forgets about being patient and reaches up to grasp Shouyou’s thin wrist. The sharp gesture makes the ginger stop, taking a moment to lick his wet lips and look up at Koutarou in question.

 “Move them with your mouth.” The older advises breathily, covering Shouyou’s fingers with his own. A look of understanding flashes in Shouyou’s eyes and he nods softly, before leaning down again.

 The tip of his tongue is only inches from the tip of Koutarou’s need, almost tasting the leaking precum, when Tetsurou bites the tip of his ear hard enough to make him wince and stop. He hears Koutarou whine above the breathy chuckle which leaves Tetsurou.

 “Stop.” He orders huskily, “I want to talk something out with you.”

 “Now?!” Koutarou almost yells, not daring to move against Tetsurou’s will. Especially when he fixes him with a short, judging glare.

 “Yeah, now.” He says, his voice sending shivers down Koutarou’s spine and all over Shouyou’s small body. “Color, Shouyou?”

 “G-Green...” Shouyou gasps out, feeling Tetsurou’s warm palms brush up from his front to his back, circling the back of his thighs and coming to rest over his ass again, rubbing and groping the soft flesh.

 “And will it change if I take off your boxers?”

 Shouyou’s eyes widen and he hears Koutarou take in a quick, sharp breath before completely stilling. He can’t see, but he’s probably looking at Tetsurou, who stays just as still behind him, moving his fingers only slightly over his skin.

 The moment of silence stretches on and Shouyou tries to say something, anything, to lessen the uncomfortable mood he’s being pulled into. But every time his mouth opens, he can’t help but remain quiet. His throat is as if clamping down on the words he seeks to say. But luckily for him, Tetsurou and Koutarou are so patient, well, Tetsurou at least is, while Koutarou can barely stay still on the bed. He’s so hard, so flushed and aching, but Shouyou can’t do anything to help him now.

 Not until he answers.

 But Shouyou doesn’t know what to answer. Doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to bare himself in front of someone so much. His breath hitches and his heart thumps from something different than plane excitement and impatience. Its fear that they’ll judge, that he will be unwanted and thrown away, but as irrational as it is, Shouyou can’t shake it off.

 He gulps and gathers enough strength to look back at Tetsurou, definitely doubtful and worried, even if he wants to look otherwise. “Why...?” he quietly asks, voice almost cracking. “I mean...”

 “It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Tetsurou assures him, running a hand down his back, feeling the strain of tension under his fingers. “But if you do, and if you want to try it, I can make it worth it.”

 “Yeah...” Koutarou whispers from in front of him, not trusting his voice to speak louder. He runs a hand over his wild hair, the gel he uses no longer holding it up, “You can trust us...Trust Tetsu.” When Shouyou looked up at him as well from the corner of his eyes, glazed over with terrible want, yet frightened and frustrated, he quickly added: “We’ll make you feel great. Did we ever do something to hurt you up till now?” 

 The answer was one and certain: no. They hadn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t want to hurt Shouyou – that little sweet sunshine that had unraveled under their hands and only theirs.

 “No…” Shouyou hears himself say.

 With a small grin, Tetsurou runs his palms gently up the side of his thighs, merely tickling the skin. “Than say yes.” He huskily whispers, tugging softly at the edge of his underwear. “Come on. Don’t you think its time to try something new out?”

 “I don’t know…”

 “Don’t you want to find out how it feels?” Tetsurou continued, breathing softly over Shouyou’s shoulder, “It can be a lot better if you allow it. Don’t you trust me?”

 “I do but…”

 Fingers graze the front of his boxers and Shouyou jolts, biting his lip against the needy sound threatening to escape. He wants it. Wants everything they can give him. But it’s so hard to just say the word and end the pleasurable suffering he’s thrown himself into so willingly.

 Another soft stroke of Tetsu’s fingers has him trembling in need and he knows he and Koutarou see it. They know, of course they do.

 Breathing harshly, Shouyou looks at Tetsurou from over his shoulder, eyes glazed over with want and angry tears threatening to spill. He looks so confident, it’s hard to ignore the want in his eyes as well. He wants Shouyou to say yes. Wants to make him feel good. And the offer is too good to pass up on.

 It’s something Shouyou’s only dreamed of, ever since their first night, and the desire overcame the jealousy. That’s why he nods. Quick and uncertain, but Tetsurou and Koutarou are there to change his mind and make his decision worth it.

 At his consent, Tetsurou smiled, than licked his lips as if he was ready to devour the sweetest treat existing. His lips touch Shouyou’s hot skin, fingers trailing from his stomach to his back. His long, teasing fingers hook over the band of his boxers and Shouyou again shivers, one hand clutching the bedding tightly while the fingers of the other find Koutarou’s. He wasn’t initiating it, not really, but it was good to know Koutarou was there, especially when his fingers closed around his.

 “What…What are you gonna do?” Shouyou mumbled, cracking one eye open to look back at Tetsurou.

 “I was thinking about something small…” the other said back softly, his eyes gleaming with mischief, “But if you can take more just say so.”

 “What’s _something small_ …?!”

 “I’ll show you,” Tetsurou snickered, slowly pushing down his boxers and fitting his hands around his skin, “You go back to what you were doing. I don’t think Kou can take much anymore, can you?”

 He sent Koutarou a wink, but that seemed less amusing, especially when Koutarou wanted to get off and quick.

 A bit reluctant (and definitely embarrassed and way too aroused) Shouyou tore his eyes off of Tetsurou to look back at Koutarou. Their eyes met for a moment, holding emotions they couldn’t quite grasp or understand, before Shouyou licked his lips and leaned down to continue his sloppy work on his straining erection.

 It was like he was drunk from then on. Drunk in heat and pleasure. Tetsurou did not disappoint, like in everything else they did. He watched for a moment as his boyfriend panted and lost himself in the pleasure of having Shouyou’s soft mouth over him, before slowly trailing his palms over the sticky skin of the ginger’s thighs. When his cool fingers wrapped around the hot flesh of his leaking cock, Shouyou almost choked. His teeth grazed Koutarou’s own and made him wince, fingers digging into his soft hair in warning. Tetsurou grinned at the sight.

 He teasingly ran his fingers over Shouyou’s need, smearing the precum gathering at the tip before pressing down gently with his thumb. All the breathy noises the ginger made while trying to breath around Koutarou made cold shivers run down his spine.

 “Does it feel good Shou?” he teasingly asked, voice almost a whisper, “I bet it does. A lot better than with your boxers on right?”

 Shouyou hummed happily in agreement, letting Koutarou’s cock slide out of his mouth before licking his shiny lips. He looked positively ruined. Hair disheveled, eyes bleary with tears and face almost too red. Shouyou took a few grounding gulps of air, gulped down the saliva in his mouth, but just as he was about to lean down again, Koutarou stopped him.

 “I’ll take over from here babe.” He groaned and motioned for the blushing ginger to come closer before bringing their lips together in a feverish kiss. Shouyou’s impatient whine turned into a sharp moan of pleasure when Tetsurou sped up the languid movements of his hand, his fingers easily sliding over him thanks to the precum gathering between his legs and creating a slippery spot between his inner thighs.

 When he stopped, just as suddenly as he had began, Shouyou whined, hands gripping onto Koutarou’s biceps, for support.

 “Just a second.” Tetsurou chuckled, moving away from Shouyou to reach towards the bedside table. Koutarou watched him from the corner of his eye, mouth sucking marks into the soft skin of Shouyou’s neck while his hand worked over his painfully hard member.

 When Tetsurou took out a half empty tube of lube, he looked at his boyfriend and sent him a quick wink before quickly getting behind Shouyou again.

 “This is gonna be a bit wet,” he softly warned, uncapping the tube, “Tell me if it feels good…”

 He watched as Shouyou’s body was rocked by a wave of cold shivers, sweat trickling down his marked skin while he panted in Koutarou’s neck. For the first time since they began doing this with him, Tetsurou’s eyes were only on him and not on his boyfriend. He couldn’t look away from that delicious arch in his back, from that flushed face, from his wet lips, bruised from harsh kisses. It felt too good only watching him. Made him crave touch himself, but in the same time made him want to offer more, to make the glass overflow with pleasure until Shouyou couldn’t take anymore.

 Licking his dry lips while mindlessly warming up the slippery lube between his fingers, Tetsurou watched as Shouyou whined impatiently. He was a bit impatient too, impatient to find out what other sounds the ginger could make…

 Making sure his fingers were wet enough, he reached back down to stroke Shouyou’s member, the lube making his movements quicker and more fluid. The direct contact made Shouyou moan, biting his lip against the embarrassing noises. Koutarou wasn’t any better. Hearing the soft gasps and loud, breathy moans so close, watching Tetsurou’s wet hand move, watching the sweat rolling down his chest and stomach, made him stiffen. He tried to copy the rhythm his boyfriend was setting on Shouyou, but damn was it hard to keep his hand so slow when he wanted to cum _so badly_. He could barely believe how long he had lasted…

 The hand on Shouyou’s cock slowed down just as he was about to finally cum, making him groan. When he looked back at Tetsurou, he saw him opening the lube again. 

 “What else…” he tried to say, but couldn’t find his voice to continue. He bit his lip when Tetsurou’s hand again sped up its movements, teasingly slowing down every few strokes, making him feel like he could lose it any moment. But Tetsurou didn’t want him to. He watched him closely, every change in his expression, and Shouyou wondered for a moment how he looked in his eyes. If anything, it made him a bit self-conscious, but how could it not. He was standing between two _gods_ , how could anyone just ignore that.

 Shouyou watched Tetsurou carefully now. Watched as his hand left his straining erection, watched him coat his warm fingers with more lube, watched as his other hand gently slid over his thigh, his muscles quivering in pleasure with every cares.

 Tetsurou flashed him a soft smile.

 Shouyou bit his lips and hid his flushed face in Koutarou’s neck.

 “Just relax now, okay?” Koutarou softly advised, watching Tetsurou himself, while dragging his lips over Shouyou’s hot cheek, “Tetsu’s gonna make it _so good_ …”

 “Hmm, took the words straight out of my mouth.” Tetsurou hummed, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss against Shouyou’s shoulder before reaching down between his thighs again. This time however he missed his leaking cock to touch higher, _higher_ , until the pad of his finger, warm and wet with lube, slid over his tight hole.

 The sudden touch made Shouyou tense up and quiet down frighteningly fast. His change of spirit made Tetsurou stop, but he wasn’t ready to back down yet. He kept his finger where it was, slowly dragging his lips over Shouyou’s neck.

 “Want to stop?”

 “I…I…” Shouyou stuttered, fingers digging into Koutarou’s arms. For a moment all three of them stayed still, Tetsurou watching Shouyou intently while he gasped for breath and Koutarou holding his breath, ready and wanting to continue.

 A short moment later, Shouyou let out the breath he had been keeping in before looking back at Tetsurou.

 “You can…go on now.” he quietly muttered, but Tetsurou wasn’t convinced.

 “If this is too much for you, we’ll stop and leave it for another time.” He said, seriousness evident in his voice.

 Shouyou only shook his head, “No, I can do it. Just…It’s not gonna hurt bad is it…?”

 Koutarou coos at that, nudging Shouyou’s nose with his to make him tip up his head before planting a soft kiss on lips. Behind him, Tetsurou snorts a laugh.

 “What’s so funny?” Shouyou whines, breaking away from the kiss.

 “There’s nothing funny…” Tetsurou sighs, “It won’t hurt at all but if it does…Just say so and we’ll do something else. Don’t feel forced to just do it ‘cause of us, alright?”

 Still a bit reluctant, Shouyou nods, biting his lip and again hiding his face in Koutarou’s face, “Just do it…”

  For the first time in ages, Tetsurou actually feels a blush creep over his cheeks while having sex with someone. Well, not actual sex, and that’s even worse. He bites the inside of his cheek with a short huff, seeing Shouyou tense up while he waits for him, not exactly impatiently, maybe even a bit nervous.

 His expression, mildly freaked out, made him want to work hard to turn it into one of pleasure again.

 He shares a look with Koutarou while his finger softly circled Shouyou’s rim. Watching closely, Koutarou slid his own fingers over his length with the same slowness, biting his lip to hold in the gruff sounds of pleasure.

 Shouyou hummed at the slow touch. It didn’t feel bad, on the contrary. He could barely feel Tetsurou’s finger, only warm wetness spreading over his lower body, dripping down his thighs…Then there was a soft pressure, steadily growing, and with it Shouyou’s breath grew quicker, leaving his mouth in quick, short pants. Then his breath stuttered when he felt something solid sliding inside him. It was so lewd, so dirty, but God, it was so much, so good…

 He moaned into Koutarou’s neck, his confused brain registering only the mindless pleasure such a small touch brought.

 He heard Koutarou groan, a guttural, almost animalistic sound, before stilling under him. A sweaty palm, shaking fingers, touched Shouyou’s side, holding onto him almost, while Koutarou panted, finally calming down from his high.

 But Shouyou and Tetsurou were no where near finished. Or maybe – Tetsurou wasn’t finished with Shouyou.

 He started pumping his finger in and out slowly and gently at first, not wanting to scare Shouyou and ruin the feeling for him for good. But maybe nothing would hurt if he added a bit more rush now, especially when Shouyou was moaning so good now, even going far enough to rock his hips back into his hand, slow and gentle, as if the motion wasn’t even there. Koutarou helped him with that, narrating his movements by sliding his palms up and down his sides, down his hips. Tetsurou loved seeing him so happy and seethed, honestly. The way his boyfriend watched Shouyou in a daze made him want to touch him and kiss him all over, but first things first.

 “That’s right, baby,” he praised, snickering softly when Shouyou continued to press back into him, rocking his hips in slow, languid movements, “Just like that. Does it feel good?”

 Shouyou nodded quickly, making Tetsurou grin, “I bet it does. You’re doing so good, you’re really into it, huh…”

 His voice, low and raspy, made Shouyou whine, already desperate for release. His cock was hard and heavy between his legs, leaking precum already. Everything was too much. It was becoming too hot, too heavy…

 “I’m adding another finger, alright?” Tetsurou murmured softly behind him. There were lips over his shoulder and then he gasped sharply as another finger probed at his entrance.

 _Too much_.

 “Stop…” he gasped, voice raising when Tetsurou didn’t hear him and continued to fit a second finger beside the other, “Stop! Red! _Please_ …!”

 It all ended as quickly as it had began. Tetsurou’s hands were off him in an instant, while Koutarou’s wrapped around him, keeping him safe and warm, making him feel good.

 “Are you okay?” Shouyou heard him ask, but he couldn’t answer.

 “Hey…Hinata? Shouyou?” Tetsurou’s worried voice cut through the silence and when Shouyou opened one eye to look at him, his heart stopped and he could barely believe what he had done.

 Tetsurou looked freaked out. He looked sorry. Worried. And Shouyou had made a big fuss over nothing.

 “I’m sorry…” he muttered, “It just…It hurt and I…You can continue okay? Just give me a moment and…”

 “We can stop if you want.” Tetsurou offered. That expression of worry and gentleness, topped with a great amount of understanding, was still stuck to his face and it made Shouyou’s heart ache worse, “If you’re still aroused, I can use my mouth and…”

 “Your hand…Just your hand, please…”

 Shouyou could almost die of embarrassment when Tetsurou nodded and reached around to gently touch his still hard member. Even after that small shocking ordeal he was still painfully hard and that wasn’t something he could lie about.

 The pleasure was back again in an instant. Tetsurou took his time again, gently running his hand over Shouyou, fingers softly brushing over his still wet with lube entrance, but not going further. He didn’t need the stress of seeing Shouyou scared again. After all, he and Koutarou had never left him disappointed in bed so far, always made him enjoy everything they did, and they weren’t about to start ruining the experience now.

 That wasn’t their agreement. That wasn’t what they wanted too.

 When Shouyou’s orgasm finally washed over him, after a few teasing minutes in which Tetsurou again set the mood for himself as well, Koutarou held him through it, kissing and biting his neck while he moaned and sobbed in shear pleasure, trembling fingers digging into the skin of his arms. And while he shuddered and cried out, something incredible happened and the realization brought Tetsurou back in the present moment.

 The horrible realization that while watching his smaller lover unravel under his hands he had come too, but in his underwear like a teenager.

 With a happy sigh, Koutarou pulled Shouyou down onto the bed with him, keeping his panting form close and breathing in the scent of his soft hair. He couldn’t believe how calm and seethed he was now, seeing Shouyou curl into his side like a tired animal. The idea that he had enjoyed himself, that he had moaned and came undone in their arms made the feeling even better.

 “You feel okay Shou?” he asked, kissing his forehead, his temple, his nose, under his eye…He felt more than saw Tetsurou stand up and hurriedly walk out of the room, probably to finish off in the bathroom, while Shouyou softly nodded against his chest.

 “It was good…” he slurred, “I liked it…But Kuroo-san…?”

 “Don’t worry about him! He’ll help himself out.”

 “No…” Shouyou opened his eyes, blurry with unshed tears of pleasure, and furrowed his eyebrows, “He…Did he get disappointed? When I told him to stop?”

 “Of course not!” Koutarou hollered, “Don’t be like that! Of course he’ll stop when you say so and he doesn’t even have the right to be disappointed, not like he is, so don’t even think that, okay?! Tetsu isn’t like that, you know we love you better don’t you?”

 Shouyou knew. Loved him was too strong to be said just like that, but they did love him better than Tobio maybe. Loved and accepted him better than many actually. They respected his wishes, his boundaries, his fears…

 They knew him almost inside out.

 When after about five minutes Tetsurou still wasn’t back, Shouyou looked up at Koutarou, who had began to doze off, arm still wrapped around him protectively.

 “Maybe I should get going now…?” he whispered.

 “Hmm…Where?” Koutarou asked sleepily, licking his lips once before again opening his mouth.

 “To bed? I mean…”

 “Just stay here.” Koutarou whined, rolling on his side to face him. He brought Shouyou close to his muscular chest, buried his nose in his fiery hair and gently stroked his lower back. “It’s gotta be lonely…Sleeping on your own…”

 Shouyou felt torn between hiding the giddy smile in Koutarou’s chest and turning away from him.

 In the end he did what was best…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I don't know how big the emotionаl impаct in this chapter is, but I still think It's good, even if it's just smut xD First I want to say that I've been wanting to write something with fingering with these three for a while and checking my scribbles for this fic, fingering had to come in this chapter; second, dont ask me how I know this, but at first when starting with fingers, one is good and it isnt very painfull, but two right away hurt a bit too much, so it was only natural that Hinata, as a beginner, would just freak out and want to stop. Third, I kind of cut out Bokuto from this chapter and Im very sorry, but I thought that, considering last time, this time it was Kuroos turn to take control, plus, I imagine Bokuto a bit more impatient, so I thought it would be better for Hinata if he had someone calmer and more stable like Kuroo for such serious steps when exploring himself. 
> 
> I really hope this doesnt disappoint you and that the long wait was worth it! Thank you everyone for your support with this fic! You all made my 2016 great! Hope you stay this year too and check out my other fics! Next chapter will be a bit late again since I crashed my keyboard tonight xD Anyone wanna donate for a new keyboard??? No? Well then youll be waiting! Comments and feedback are apreciated!


	9. 50 Shades of What this Is

 The early days of November brought soft snow, which melted in no longer than two days, leaving behind dirty remains and deep puddles along the streets, making morning walks not very pleasant. On the other hand, sitting somewhere warm and watching the crowd of people going about their business while drinking warm coffee and enjoying the soft pop music playing on the speakers was a different story. One Shouyou enjoyed, especially if it was a Friday morning when he was surprisingly free to catch up with his best friend Kenma without anything bothering them.

 It had been almost two months since Shouyou moved in with Tetsurou and Koutarou. And overly he was happy with the way their relationship worked. But then there were moments where he felt confused. He was grateful and he was in no way unhappy, but lately he had stared to feel another feeling in the mix. And that had to be jealousy.

 Whenever Koutarou and Tetsurou were together somewhere, acting like the happy couple they were, Shouyou didn’t feel good. His heart ached whenever they went out without inviting him. His mind wondered why they weren’t paying him attention. Why they weren’t close to him. Sometimes he felt jealous for no reason. It just happened. He was jealous of Koutarou when Tetsurou kissed him lazily in the morning, felt jealous of Tetsurou when Koutarou hugged and cuddled him on the couch when it was their movie night. It was a feeling which passed quickly but left a sour taste in his mouth after and he could spend days and nights thinking about the cause of it. About what had changed?

 A week ago he decided that the change wasn’t in their relationship, but in him and his own feelings.

 “So, how are things with Kuro and Bokuto-san going?” Kenma asked to fill the silence which had taken over them moments after Shouyou again fell into thoughts. It was like he could read his mind sometimes, even if Shouyou wondered about how well placed his questions were.

 “Well, like always I guess.” He replied with a smile, looking up at his friend, “We’re going to the movies tomorrow, then we’re gonna eat out!”

 “I’m happy for you.” Kenma muttered, focused on his game for a moment. A second later, after finishing his level, he put away his phone and looked up at Shouyou, “So you go out together?”

 “Yeah!” Shouyou nodded with enthusiasm, “It’s like we’re really dating and when we get home we cuddle for a bit and then we watch some movie and eat snacks and talk until late! It’s…really good, I guess.”

 Not very convinced, Kenma continued to stare at his friend, waiting to hear the rest of what was on Shouyou’s mind. He might have been a good listener, and Shouyou was usually a good talker, but whenever he didn’t want to talk there was always a problem he decided he could solve on his own.

 “Is there something else…?” Kenma asked after a moment when it was obvious Shouyou wouldn’t continue.

 Taking a short breath, the ginger slowly looked up from his coffee. He looked almost ashamed.

 “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about…” he softly began, leaning a bit over the table. Kenma leaned closer too, so Shouyou could continue, “But I didn’t really know how to say it.”

 “Just ask?”

 “Yeah, but…Okay. So, lately I’ve been getting…jealous? Of Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san, when they’re together. It happens sometimes, when they’re doing something together and I’m not there. I don’t know what it is, but it isn’t a very nice feeling…And it comes and goes so quick, I can’t even comprehend it.” he makes a short pause to make sure Kenma’s listening, before again lowering his voice and looking down at his hands, “I wanted to ask you what it is…Because I have no idea what’s going on anymore…”

 Kenma listens carefully to every word, watching his friend as his eyes dart around nervously. It’s unusual for Shouyou to act like he is now and his words aren’t helping much. But suddenly Kenma understands the overall picture and it wasn’t something he liked at first glance.

 “So you get jealous when Bokuto-san and Kuro are together?” his words are followed by a short nod from Shouyou, “And…You want what? You just said they paid you enough attention…”

 “I don’t know what this is Kenma!” Shouyou hurriedly whispered, “I want _all_ of their attention on me, _all the time_! I know that’s not okay, I know that’s not how it’s supposed to be but…Can you fault me…?”

 Now, Shouyou looked sad. He looked guilty. He looked ashamed. His confusion and guilt were a painful sight to see, especially for Kenma. He was indebted to Shouyou for so many things and this was how he had repaid him. He was the one who was supposed to be guilty, after all – he was the one who introduced Shouyou to Koutarou and Tetsurou and he was the one who got him in their home. But it wasn’t like he saw this coming. He never thought that Shouyou could fall so obviously hard for the two, or that they would play such a dirty trick on the naïve Shouyou.

 “I can’t…” he answered after a moment. Shouyou was so easy to impress, he fell in love with anyone who showed him the simplest gentle gesture. He wasn’t _easy_ , he was terribly _naïve_ , and Kenma couldn’t believe his friends would take advantage of it. “Shouyou…I asked you this when you first moved in with them, but…Do you love Bokuto-san and Kuro? It’s nothing bad, I’m sorry that I even made you stay with them, I never knew…”

 “No!” Shouyou urgently says, looking almost distressed, “It’s not like that…It can’t be like that! Look, I really like Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san, they’re so…so _amazing_! But…They’re together…It’s just…They showed me some amazing things…Things I couldn’t understand on my own. And maybe they know more than anyone about me…I just…I just can’t let them go. I’m scared that if I don’t do something right…I’m scared they’ll just move on. And this shaky relationship…I’m scared they’ll just go bored of me and I don’t know what I’ll do then.”

 “I…understand you…” is all Kenma can say, but he means it, “Sometimes I’m scared that Keiji can leave too…”   
 “But you know Akaashi-san’s yours. I can’t even say that…”

 “Shouyou…”

 “I,” the ginger stood up so suddenly, Kenma flinched back in his seat in surprise, looking up at him in confusion, “I have to go. To the toilet. Be back in a second…”

 Shouyou was gone so suddenly, Kenma didn’t have a chance to stop him.

 

 He wasn’t sure what had possessed him earlier, but now he was almost sorry for telling Kenma all he had. What if he went to talk to Koutarou and Tetsurou now? If they knew how he felt, how clingy he had gotten, then what if they decided he wasn’t worth their relationship? What if they decided to just cut the deal, to leave him?

 No, Shouyou wasn’t ready for this. Not after Tobio.

 He wasn’t ready to be alone again.

 Taking a deep, calming breath, Shouyou reaches up to the handle of the door. His hands are shaking, but he tries to calm himself, to tell himself that everything’s fine. That Koutarou and Tetsurou would be home, waiting for him, and that they would kiss him and love him just right. He tried to imagine it for a moment, them and him, _they_ , kissing, touching, inhaling their mingling scents.

 His fingers over the handle stop trembling and Shouyou pushes it down, confidently opening the door to the toilet.

 The men’s toilet, much like the girls’, is shaped like an L, the stalls lined along the longer corridor and the sinks along the shorter. It’s small and clean and seemingly empty, Shouyou decides as he walks inside and heads towards the sinks. He needed to wash his face, needed the cool water to sooth him. And he really didn’t want to go back red faced and flustered to Kenma.

 He had barely taken a few steps into the toilet when he heard hushed voices coming from around the corner. The first one he recognized instantly.

 “Oikawa-san, you said just one…”

  _Tobio_.

 “I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything like that.” The second voice whispers, followed by a sharp gasp and a sloppy sound covered by a breathy moan. Shouyou knew those sounds well – the wet and dirty sounds of shameless kisses.

 He should have turned around and walked out, out of the toilet and the café all together, but his curiosity always got the better of him. The last time he saw Tobio so long ago wasn’t the best way to end the thing between them, but it gave him some sense of closure. It also brought him so close to his roommates (he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not now). But right now it felt like the healing wound was reopened and bleeding and hurting with every small gasp he heard from Tobio. It took every little piece of strength Shouyou had to not run up to him, to not walk around the corner and force him to explain. To ask him what had changed? To ask if he was really had been sorry or if he had been unneeded all this time. It hadn’t even been that long since they broke up – or was it? – and he was pushing himself onto someone else now? _Why_?

 Shouyou’s fingers again began to tremble on his sides, this time from anger and frustration, as he quietly stepped closer to the corner. His sweaty palm found the cold, tiled wall and he leaned against it, fearing he might slip and fall on the tiles if he continued to listen to those gross sounds leaving Tobio, _his_ Tobio.

 Why would he do this to him? Why does he have to show up in his life in the worst of times, when he’s most confused and hurting?

 “Oikawa-san, stop…” Shouyou hears his ex, his only real boyfriend ever, mutter. Gathering enough courage, he looks over the corner, hoping he’s well enough hidden behind the wall, and sees Tobio in the arms of someone else, as he had thought.

 Taking a better look at the man looming over Tobio (Shouyou had never thought his ex could look so vulnerable in front of someone as he did now), it wasn’t hard to see what he saw in him. The so called Oikawa-san was definitely handsome, tall, seemingly athletic. He didn’t lack style either. He almost looked like he was taken out of the cover of the latest fashion magazine. And that smile, those eyes…They would definitely melt anyone’s heart and make anyone’s knees go week.

 Shouyou thought that he almost looked _too good_ for Tobio.

 “But Tobio-chan, you look like you were having fun.” Oikawa drawled, leaning back down to trace kisses over Tobio’s neck.

 “We can’t…” Tobio tried to protest again, but it was obvious he wasn’t against what Oikawa was doing to him, “Not here…”

 “Don’t be silly. Come over here…”

 Shouyou’s heart as if stopped in his chest. There was no way he could take more of this. Not anymore.

 Was that what Tobio was so impatient for? Was that all he had wanted from Shouyou? Kisses and touches was something Shouyou could give him now, but as it seemed, Tobio had moved on long ago.

 Shouyou didn’t even give Kenma an explanation when he almost ran out of the toilet and to their table where he still waited. He just grabbed his jacket and bag, muttering something about how he had work, how he had to get out and fast, while Kenma called his name in confusion, watching him go.

 It was all so confusing, all those new feelings blooming in his chest and mixing with the old, supposedly forgotten ones. Did he still love Tobio after all the pain and time they wasted? Or was he growing in love with Tetsurou and Koutarou? If only time could tell, Shouyou wished it could pass quicker and give him the so needed answers.

 Until then, was he going to continue running from the problem or get up and try to solve it on his own?

 No, he definitely needed help for this. And he wasn’t going to run anymore.

888

 The anxious thoughts refused to leave him all morning, then afternoon while he was at work. All day it was just Tobio and Oikawa-san, Tetsurou and Koutarou, the question did he love them and how it happened, when did it happen?

 Shouyou felt like he was driving towards a dead end, like he was being pushed against a wall of his overflowing emotions. And he had no idea how to handle everything.

 His first idea was to go home and openly talk about it with his two roommates and then think about the consequences. Seeing that he was almost late for work though, he decided against it. When he went home later he wouldn’t have the same strength. Then he thought that maybe he could move out. That he could put an end to their deal and just move out and leave that part of his life behind. But that wasn’t fair to Tetsurou and Koutarou. They had showed him so much kindness and love all this time and never once left him behind. Who was Shouyou to throw all of that away?

 He could neither live with them, nor without them as it turned out. All the feelings he felt for his two roommates had slowly crept on him and taken over his daily life that it felt impossible to let them go. Much like what had happened with Tobio, only now Tetsu and Kou respected him and his feelings.

 There was always the possibility of going back to Tobio, now that he could give him all he had wanted. But after all the time, after all that had changed between them, that seemed just as impossible as leaving Tetsurou and Koutarou. Shouyou had changed too. He _didn’t want_ to go back to Tobio, didn’t want _him_ anymore.

 Shouyou didn’t feel like himself the whole afternoon he spent at work. While normally he was chatty with the clients and never missed to smile at the regulars, he could barely look up at whoever came and went now. His mind was busy with everything that had happened and everything happening. Kenma called and texted him without stopping for a bit after he left him at the café, but he obviously grew tired after the first hour and decided to give him his space. Shouyou would call his worried friend later, now he could barely concentrate.

 One hour before the end of his shift, Shouyou was getting ready to close the store. The last client for the night had walked out, leaving him alone with the silence, ruined by the soft buzzing of the neon lights. About this time Shouyou usually cleaned the floor, ordered everything for tomorrow, or for his next shift, and got ready to leave and call it a day. It was unusual to get anymore clients so late, so he didn’t bother to stay behind the counter or even keep the sign on the door turned to OPEN. So when the bell above the door rang, and the door clicked closed seconds later, Shouyou was confused to who could have come in so late.

 When he walked around the only isle in the shop to great the late client, he was shocked to find himself standing in front of Oikawa-san’s handsome face, his eyes meeting the smug hazel ones of Tobio’s new love interest.

 “Oh, so you really do work here?” Oikawa chirped, smiling brightly at Shouyou. His voice sounded even more annoying when his words were directed at him, “It’s nice to finally meet you! I guess you do look cuter in person…”

 Gulping down the saliva in his mouth, Shouyou tried to calm himself down before speaking. “Um…Do I know you?”

 “Well, you’re about to meet me!” Oikawa laughed, running a hand throw his hair, “You’re the Chibi-chan Tobio-chan used to constantly talk about, huh? I’m not disappointed at all actually…”

 The long glare Oikawa send him made Shouyou shiver. Especially when he remembered him giving Tobio the very same glare in the toilet of that café.

 “I don’t understand what you’re talking about, but that’s creepy so please leave before I call the police.” Shouyou said, trying to sound as serious as he could. Something told him that Oikawa knew far more about him than he did and the thought made him angrier.

 “No need to be so harsh!” the brunette mockingly gasps, “I just wanted to see what kind of amazing person Kuro-chan and Kou-chan got under their wing now!”

 At the mention of his roommates’ names, Shouyou’s eyes widen. “You know Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san?”

 “Well, obviously, who do you think I asked about you and where you work?!”

 “And you’re here _because_?”

 “Because I wanted to see the shrimpy Tobio talked so much about and Kuro-chan and Kou-chan’s new play thing.”

 Noting Shouyou’s angry reaction and the way his fingers trembled on his sides, Oikawa grinned.

 Shouyou was in no way happy with the man’s presence anymore. “I’m not their _play thing_.” He hisses out, “And it doesn’t concern you what kind of relationship we have, so you can go if you’re not buying anything.”

 “Oh, no, Chibi-chan! I’m meaning your good here!” Oikawa quickly corrects, gesturing wildly, “I know I might have acted mean in that café, you thought I didn’t notice you, but _duh_ , I did, no offence. I did kind of give you a false impression, but you provoked me! You have no idea what it’s like, having sex and hearing someone else’s name!”

 His words made Shouyou blush. Not because he imagined Tobio with Oikawa, it was obvious they had sex, what else could Tobio be with him for. No, he blushed because Tobio still remembered him. Remembered him and obviously thought of him while doing the dirty in Oikawa’s bed.

 “But I actually know you from somewhere else.” Oikawa continued, “I’ve seen you with Kuro-chan and Kou-chan a lot. Kou-chan might have said something about you guys being together, so I was curious. It’s not like we weren’t gonna meet sooner or later!”

 “I still don’t understand why you’re here. So it’ll be best if you just…”

 Oikawa interrupts him with an over exaggerated sigh. “And here I thought you would like to hear about Kuro-chan and Kou-chan. Guess I was wrong. Well, if you wanna ruin yourself, then I guess it’s really not my place to interfere.”

 When Oikawa turns around to actually walk out, Shouyou stops him.

 “Wait!” he almost shouts, surprised at his own voice, “What do you have to say about Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san?”

 Something in the grin Oikawa turned to him with made Shouyou think that he shouldn’t be asking, that he didn’t want to know after all, but he was curious, and right now, while wondering about his relationship with his roommates and weather he should leave it all behind, he ought to know every simple thing about them.

 “Well, since you asked,” Oikawa shrugged through a soft sigh. He looked almost pained to talk further, “I bet you already know you’re not their first. I mean, the first one to fall in their hands?” Shouyou knew. Knew so good. “So you know what they do afterwards? When they’ve had their fun?” a sigh, “I’m so sorry to tell you shrimpy, but you know your days with them are about to end right? I mean that they will leave soon enough, when they’ve had their fun. Let me guess, you do have sex right?”

 “I’m not going to answer that.” Shouyou stammered, face red in embarrassment. Oikawa however understood well enough why he didn’t want to.

 “I’m gonna take it as a yes! I see you’re a pretty sensitive thing, Chibi-chan, or at least Tobio-chan’s said some things…So I bet it’ll be pretty nasty when those two throw you away…”

 “They _won’t_.”

 “It’s not like they haven’t done it before. You wanna know a secret? Truth is, I’ve had something to do with Kuro-chan for a while and believe me, he gets bored in a few months and it’s bye-bye after that! Kou-chan’s the same too, don’t let them confuse you! Though, you do look charming and naïve for your age,” there’s a chuckle in his words, one which makes the short hairs on Shouyou’s neck and arms stand, “So I see why you thought they might love you…It’s nice right? When someone so openly cares about you. But it’s all a game with them, so I thought you should know before you start getting ideas and make Tobio-chan worry!”

 “Also!” Oikawa adds when he once again spins around towards the door, “He asked me to tell you he’s very sorry and wants you back!...Pff! Joking, joking! But if you ever want someone, just ask around for my number!”

 The wink he sends him on his way out makes Shouyou’s gut turn and his face burn with anger. He almost runs out to openly yell at him, to curse at him and tell him how wrong he is. But he’s dumbstruck, his feet are as if glued to the floor of the store. He was caught so out of guard that he can’t even make a proper replay to yell at the smug man he’s just met.

 The first thought to come to him after the restart of his short-circuited brain is that Oikawa lied. About Tetsurou and Koutarou. He lied big time. It was like he was talking about two womanizer villains from a rom-com and his roommates definitely weren’t like that. Shouyou knew them good and was sure they weren’t so…so _cruel_. Not like the way Oikawa had put things.

 No, there was definitely something wrong. Oikawa showing up, telling him all those disgusting things. And everything about Tobio. It was all lies except the fact they were really lovers, or friends with benefits, and that maybe Oikawa did have something to do with Tetsurou. But that was none of Shouyou’s business. His roommates were great and amazing people and he already knew their relationship wasn’t real…that it wasn’t forever. But it wasn’t Oikawa’s business either.

 And who was he to say that Tetsurou and Koutarou, the most perfect friends and lovers someone could ask for, would just throw him away once they got bored of him. Could they even? Tobio had, but they weren’t like him. They were better, they loved Shouyou…But how much and how far did that love reach?

 Did they actually love him? He believed they did, or else they wouldn’t be so gentle and patient with him, they wouldn’t want anything with him if they didn’t at least feel attracted to him. They wouldn’t do those things out of simple pity, would they?

 For a moment Shouyou believes every word of Oikawa’s. He actually believes everything he said was the truth because it’s so, so possible. Tobio was the same. His previous short lasting relationships in high school were the same. It almost felt like he was a piece of meat in a world of predators and Tetsurou and Koutarou couldn’t possibly be different. It all made so much sense.

 Shouyou forces those terrible thoughts away, because just as much as they can be true, there’s just as big a possibility that they’re all lies. That’s what he wants to believe. Who’s Oikawa to him – no one. His words shouldn’t matter, Tetsurou and Koutarou’s should and they do. They mean so much, matter so much more.

 

 Shouyou doesn’t manage to fully believe that and probably never would anymore.

 888

 When Shouyou returns home the same night the apartment smells of home made food and the sound of the TV is turned up loud. He hears the clacking of utensils and Koutarou’s laugh as he watches his show and thinks of how lucky he is to have this.

 Then he thinks of Oikawa and how all of this is all a lie and his heart shatters.

 “Hinata, you home?!” Tetsurou calls from the kitchen, but Shouyou doesn’t answer.

 He takes off his shoes and hangs his jacket beside his two roommates’ before grabbing his bag and quickly walking towards his room.

 “Shouyou?!” Koutarou calls after him, turning a bit on the couch so he can see him. All he catches though is the ginger’s back as he walks in his room as fast as lightning and shuts it closed, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the TV.

 “What happened?” Tetsurou asked, turning away from the stove to look at his boyfriend, who’s looking in the direction of Shouyou’s room in confusion, “Is shrimpy home? What’s up?”

 “I don’t know bro, he was in a hurry…” Koutarou explains, staring at Shouyou’s door, “I mean, he didn’t even say hi…”

 “I’ll go check up on him.” Tetsurou mutters, drying his hands before slowly walking into the hallway and down to Shouyou’s door. By now it had become a pretty sweet habit of theirs to worry about their little roomie, but lately, Tetsurou was genuinely worried about Shouyou. Especially now.

 “Hinata?” he calls softly, knocking on the door. His brows furrow when he gets no replay, “Hinata?! Shouyou? I’m just checking to make sure you’re alright.”

 When he doesn’t get a response again, Tetsurou reaches down to wiggle the door handle, but the door doesn’t give.

 “Shouyou, if something’s the matter we can talk, you know?!” he continues to speak, knocking again. Koutarou’s standing behind him now, watching him in confusion and the door in worry. “I’m…We’ll leave you alone if you want, okay?! But when you want to come out and talk, we’ll be here, so there’s no problem. Dinner’s ready…Come out to eat soon.”

 He doesn’t want to pressure Shouyou, so he leaves him be. When Tetsurou turns to his boyfriend, Koutarou looks at him quizzically with raised brows, but he can only shrug. He doesn’t know what’s wrong. Can’t give him answers.

 “Do you think something happened today?” Koutarou says as the two walk back into the living room, “Shouyou hasn’t called all day, do you think something happened?”

“I don’t know.” Tetsurou shrugs again, “He’ll come out to talk eventually…It’s not good to press the question. I’m _sure_ he’ll come to us though.”

 Koutarou isn’t very sure, but he has to agree. And even if Shouyou doesn’t come to them, they’ll always go to him.

 

 Shouyou doesn’t come out for dinner, nor does he go out for the rest of the evening. He listens to Tetsurou’s distressed voice from outside the door and doesn’t fall asleep until morning. Little does he know that his own roommates barely sleep too, wondering what happened and where they went wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama's back full force!!! Omg! This took so long xD I know I said I'll be posting every week again but I was so lazy and so busy with other stuff, like the TenSemi week, then I was so lazy to move, then BAM! I got an amazing art inspired idea for KuroKen, then I'm so fucking writing this KuroLev thing and DAMN! I'm so productive on ideas, but actually writing them is a hard thing xD I still hope you enjoy this, I hope the ending isn't rushed and that Oikawa isn't a piece of trash, which he might have turned out to be, but meh, just know he won't be such a deuche in later chapters! Sorry for any OOC behavior and spelling mistakes! And damn...so many hits...just...Thanks guys :') I hope you check out my other fics as well! They surely wont disappoint! Comments are always appreciated, reviews too!


	10. It's all Possible for You

 “I don’t understand what his problem is.”

 “Maybe it’s something he doesn’t want us to know…I’ll go check up on him again.”

 

 “Oho? Kou, his door is unlocked…”

 “Is he there?!”

 “No, he must’ve left early…”

 Defeated, Tetsurou walked back in the living room where Koutarou was tending to his two birds. It was getting too cold for them on the balcony so they had brought the cage inside, hanging it up beside the window and out of the cat’s reach.

 “Do you think it’s because of us?” Koutarou asked softly, looking away from his pets and at Tetsurou, who had just sat down on their kitchen table in front of his untouched coffee and breakfast. “Did we do something? Did we say anything to make him mad? But he was fine yesterday morning…And he was out the whole day, so we couldn’t have…”

 “Kou…”

 “I’m just saying that it can’t be our fault right?! Or at least I don’t think it should be, if we’ve done something…”

 “Kou, Kenma texted me yesterday.” Tetsurou interrupted again, “You know Hinata was out with him in the morning, so I talked to Kenma about him and he said he acted weird in the end of it…He mentioned something else too…”

 Koutarou blinks, looking at him intensely, waiting. “What else?”

 For a moment Tetsurou almost looks like he doesn’t want to tell him.

 “They’ve been talking with Hinata about us…More like, Hinata’s been sharing this and that. So it turns out that he’s had these conflicted feelings about us in a while…”

 “Like he hates us?”

 “No! No, just…Thing is, that Hinata just might be having a big crush on both of us and Kenma almost yelled at me about it and now I feel like the guiltiest deuche in world.”

 Koutarou watches his boyfriend bury his face in his palms with a groan, trying to process his words.

 When he finally does, something tugs painfully at his heart and he can’t quite name it. “You’re saying that Shouyou might be falling in love with us?”

 “Maybe.”

 “Yeah, but…That can’t be why he’s acting like this now. I mean, you saw him yesterday, he was terribly upset and…Maybe we should stop this thing.”

 At those words, Tetsurou looks up at his boyfriend puzzled. “What?”

 “This thing with Shouyou.” Koutarou sounds almost serious, _too_ serious, and Tetsurou doesn’t like it. “It got out of hand. And I don’t want us to seem like the bad guys in the end, because we _warned_ him what it will be like and he said yes to that, so we shouldn’t be guilty! So, before things get worse, I think it’ll be best if we cut the deal and just…get back to normal. We’ll hook him up with someone nice, so he won’t be alone! Like the first plan, okay!”

 “Koutarou, stop with the hooking up nonsense! That was actually our first idea so far! It even sounds nasty, we can’t do that to him!”

 “Then do you have a better idea?! Come on, tell me! Or are you falling in love with him too?!”

 “Can you blame me?! No one deserves him as much as…”

 Realizing what he’s just said, noticing the shock and betrayal in Koutarou’s eyes, Tetsurou forces himself to stop.

 “Yeah? Come on, say it.” Koutarou urges him quietly, “Who deserves him? Come on, say it?!”

 “Kou, I didn’t mean…”

 “No, you listen to me now! That’s why I want this over, because it’s not just Shouyou, you’re doing the same! Do you want me to just stand back and watch you leave me!”

 “That won’t happen.” Tetsurou grits out in disbelief, “And don’t tell me you don’t like Hinata too, because I know you do…”

 “Like and love are two different things! And you’re stepping over the border and starting to love him and you’re leaving me behind, Tetsu!”

 “Kou, I’ll never…”

 “It’s not something you have control over, it just happens! And if I can stop it before it does, don’t think I’ll just stand back and watch!”

 “Oh, Kou…”

 Tetsurou stands up from his place and walks around the counter to where Koutarou is. He puts his hands over his broad shoulders, but Koutarou shakes them off, turning away.

 “Don’t touch me.”

 “Koutarou, get a hold of yourself.” Tetsurou hisses, almost yells again, and again grips Koutarou’s shoulders before turning him around to face him. This time Koutarou doesn’t protest. “Look, I’m not leaving you.” Tetsurou says, gentler this time, “I have no idea how you even thought that, but with or without Hinata, I’m not going anywhere. C’mon, look at me…” their eyes meet. There’s something childish, frightened in Koutarou’s usually confident look and Tetsurou’s mad at himself for bringing it on him. “Yeah, I want Hinata…And it might be something more than a crush. But it’s not going to be anymore different than it is now. You know I love you. More than anything and anyone.”

 “You promise…?”

 “Promise.”

 For a moment, a heartbeat, everything’s silent between them. But both understand each other. Both know what the other’s thinking.

 After that moment, Tetsurou hugs his boyfriend tight. And Koutarou lets him.

 Both are sorry for their own thing, but Tetsurou’s sorrier and Koutarou won’t voice it, but he doesn’t believe his promises for the first time since they got together.

 

888

 

 “I’m sorry for coming in so early, I didn’t know what to do…Is Akaashi-san home?”

 He knew it was a stupid idea from the very beginning, but the realization hit him hard only when he was standing in front of his best friend’s door, ringing his doorbell. In other words – too late.

 Before he knew it, a very tired, but terribly relived, Kenma was standing in his pajamas in front of him.

 “He’s sleeping, but you can come  in.” he steps out of Shouyou’s way and opens the door wider for him to come in. “You got me worried yesterday, what happened?”

 “That’s not important, but can we talk about Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san again?”

 There’s urgency in his voice and Kenma can’t find the strength to say no.

 The two settle in the kitchen and Kenma closes the door so their voices don’t wake up Keiji. Shouyou settles in the corner of the small couch beside the wall while Kenma makes them coffee. He doesn’t look good, like he hadn’t slept all night and Kenma half expects him to be angry at him. But Shouyou doesn’t seem to know about his conversation with Tetsurou last night and he doesn’t plan to tell him about it either.

 “Kenma, I’ve been thinking long and hard about it.” Shouyou starts once Kenma’s done and sits on the chair in front of the couch after setting two mugs of coffee on the table behind him. “Yesterday…So, yesterday this guy came to the store when I was about to close and he said some terrible things about Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san, and the worst part was that they might be true and I don’t know what to believe and…”

 “Who and what did he tell you?”

 “I don’t even know him! Some Oikawa person, he looked as arrogant as a king or something, and that’s not even half of it!” Shouyou takes a moment to regain his breath, before he starts whispering in a rush, “He’s with Kageyama…I mean, I think they’re…you know! And…and I saw them in the toilet of the café yesterday, that’s why I left, but you won’t believe it, that guy comes to my place, says he’s asked Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san where I work, and then starts talking about them, all bad stuff and…Kenma I think he might be right and I’m scared…”

 Kenma’s eyes narrow when Shouyou mentions Oikawa (a lot of people knew him and it was no wonder he did too, not to mention he used to hang out with Tetsurou and Koutarou in their first year of university). He could only imagine what he’s told Shouyou, but he wouldn’t lie if he said he wasn’t surprised Oikawa had something to do with Tobio. Sure, he had a boyfriend and their relationship was more than stable, but both had nothing against the other having others outside of it. Kenma wasn’t very sure how that deal was appealing, especially with Oikawa’s bad habits.

 “What did he tell you about them?” he asked again. It was no surprise it was Oikawa who would say something bad about anyone. It would be better for everyone if he just gossiped and hated on people quietly from his corner without making so much trouble…

 Shouyou looked up at him almost sheepishly. “He said they were just playing with me for the sex…That they grew tired quickly. He said he had a relationship with Kuroo-san and the same happened so he told me not to get my hopes up. And I’m not really sure if I do have hopes, but I’m just really _angry_ right now, at him and at them and…”

 “That’s not true. Kuro and Bokuto-san would never do something like that and you know it.”

 “But what if they do, Tobio did the same…”

 “They’re _not_ Kageyama. Not everyone’s like that, so stop always bringing him up.”

 “And how should I know?! Oikawa…”

 “Oikawa’s a liar. And Kuro and Bokuto aren’t like he says they are.” Kenma’s voice is almost harsh and he looks personally offended that Shouyou would even consider Oikawa’s words about his friends to be true. And he was right for himself. “I’m sure that if you talked to them about it, they’ll understand.”

 “What am I supposed to tell them? What am I supposed to say…what if…What if they just leave me when I tell them? I can’t…”

 “Shouyou, they’re _not_ like that. They won’t leave you. And what if they have the same feelings too? What if they love you?”

 “I _don’t_ love them!”

 “…It’s obvious you do. Or you wouldn’t be sleeping around with them.”

 “I’m not…” Shouyou frowns, looking up at his friend, “I’m _not sleeping around_! We haven’t even had actual sex yet! Or is that what you wanted from the beginning…that’s why you introduced us and got me to live with them, right? And they were in on it from the start?! Were they looking for new playthings? Is that what they asked you for? Someone they could have fun with and throw out when they grew bored?! How could you do this to me, Kenma?! Why…?!”

 For a moment Kenma looked shocked by his friend’s outburst. His cheeks paled, then turned terribly red. His brows were knit over his forehead, but his eyes were wide, staring at Shouyou in disbelief.

 “Shouyou, no…” he denied in a whisper. His friend looked like he had lost his mind, and maybe he had if his words were any indication. “Are you even hearing yourself? You know none of that is true and you’ll be sorry for what you said after this, so please…Please calm down and lower your voice…”

 The nervous tremor in his own voice made Shouyou snap out of his frustration and anger and he was quickly back to his old self, but this time he looked ruined.

 “I’m sorry…” he apologized softly, “I’m really sorry, that was stupid and it’s not true, I’m just…”

 “I understand, it’s okay, but…Shouyou, you can’t continue like this.”

 “I know.” Shouyou chocked out, almost as if he was sobbing already, “But I have no idea what I should do…I’m _scared_ to talk to them, do you understand…”

 “I do, but it’ll be scarier if you keep this up. I promise they won’t leave you.”

 “How do you know?”

 “I just do. I’m sure.”

 The two grow silent, but Kenma knows Shouyou’s thinking, considering his advice. He’s not sure if he can make him believe it, but he really wishes he could have fate in his friends not to make things harder on him if he really does end up confessing.

 As for Shouyou, he understands Kenma’s right. He understands he isn’t doing anything wrong. It’s all only natural. When he let his two roommates so close to him, when he gave them permission to do all they pleased, he should have known it’ll come to this at some point.

 That he will suffer like he is now over something impossible.

 “Kenma…I think I love them…” he whispers after a moment, looking guiltily down at his hands, like a child admitting his mischief in front of his parents.

 “Then go and tell them.” Kenma advises again and this time, Shouyou looks up at him with large, watery eyes and nods softly in agreement.

 

888

 

 Shouyou doesn’t go home until dark, too scared to face his roommates. The people he loves. The people who make his heart flutter and his stomach do loops.

 Yes. Here. He’s admitting it. He’ll admit it even if it’s impossible.

 When he finally reaches the front door of their apartment, his apartment, his palms are sweaty, his legs are trembling and he barely has the strength to take out the keys from his pocket and unlock it. He prepares himself to give answers to questions he doesn’t want to hear and slowly turns the key in the lock.

 There’s a soft click and the door gives under Shouyou’s gentle push. He steps inside and feels the smell of home, _his_ home, and wonders if he’ll be able to keep all of this by the end of tonight.

 Koutarou’s by the door the moment Shouyou walks in. Their eyes meet, but neither dares to speak up first. Both are too scared to say anything. But what frightens Shouyou more is that Koutarou will start asking questions. Where he was, what he did, what’s wrong with him, what happened…He doesn’t want those questions, he doesn’t want to answer them.

 He closes the door and runs up to Koutarou just as the other opens his mouth to speak. He throws himself in the older’s arms, not minding if he has to stand on his toes to reach his neck, or if he’s pulling him down uncomfortably. He just wants to stop Koutarou from talking, wants him close. Shouyou can’t believe that in all the time they’ve spent together, in bed and out of it, this is the first time he’s actually appreciating Koutarou’s strong and stable presence so close. He decides he never wants to let go and if he has to fight for it, he will.

 Shouyou tightens his arms around Koutarou like he’s never planning on letting him go, and maybe he is. He barely feels Koutarou’s own strong arms wrap around him and pull him impossibly close. All he can feel is the heat of his body and that’s enough.

 “Kou, what’s going…on?”

 Tetsurou’s voice interrupts the silent moment and when Shouyou looks up at him from where’s he’s hidden his face in Koutarou’s neck, he sees him looking at them with confusion. And when their eyes meet, Shouyou sees worry somewhere there too. Worry and relief.

 “Kuroo-san…” he breaths out and wiggles out of Koutarou’s arms. He runs up at Tetsurou, who opens his arms wide and inviting, and hugs him just as tightly as Koutarou.

 “I’m so sorry…” he whispers against Tetsurou’s neck, fingers digging into the back of his shirt and pulling him closer, closer, “Kuroo-san…”

 He pulled away from Tetsurou and looked up at him, feelings his eyes sting with unshed tears, unspoken words and unexplainable emotions.

 “Kuroo-san, I’m ready…Please make me yours, please…”

 There’s a shocked silence, in which Shouyou can see Tetsurou’s face growing red, his eyes wide and unbelieving. Koutarou’s expression must be worst, he thinks, but there’s no time to check. He needs this. Needs both of them as close as possible, clothes are in the way and only fingers against sticky, heated skin won’t sooth the burn.

 Won’t sew back the wounds in his heart.

 “Hinata, no…” Tetsurou tries to say, gripping his shoulders. He’s trying to get him off, Shouyou decides, because those thin fingers on his arms burn. Shouyou’s crazy, Tetsurou must think. Yes, he is. Crazy for them.

 Before he can tug him off, Shouyou reaches up and tangles his fingers in his messy hair, pulling him down. Their lips meat in haste. It’s sloppy, it almost hurts, but Shouyou needs just that. Needs something to ground him, needs that heat. The heat that has terrified him for so long. The need to give himself to someone else so fully. It’s about to happen now and the thought makes something in his stomach tighten. Fear? Or anticipation? Or a sweet mix of both.

 And even though Tetsurou responds to the kiss, his hands still try to pry Shouyou off of him before he hurts them both. His eyes catch Koutarou’s for a second and the look his boyfriend is sending him makes his stomach drop.

 “Hinata, stop.” He says again after finally pulling Shouyou away. His voice is strained, but he tries to look serious, harsh even, “What’s up with you? You disappear for a day and come back like this, do you seriously think we’ll just get it on and be done with it? We’re going to talk first and you’re going to tell us what the problem is…”

 “No!” Shouyou shrieks, “Please, I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, but now…I need _this_ now, I need to…”

 “Do you really think we’ll…”

 Shouyou sniffles, looking up at him with his blurry eyes, so full of want and adoration. “For me…Do it for me… _Please_.”

 Koutarou walks closer to them and Tetsurou watches him instead of answering. He steps close to Shouyou’s shuddering frame and wraps his arms tightly around his middle. Shouyou lets him without saying a word. That’s all he needs right now, to feel both of them close. He brings one hand to Koutarou’s, where they lay warm on his stomach, and grasps his fingers with his own shivering ones. His chest heaves with held in sobs and when he feels Koutarou’s lips on his red cheek, gently sucking in the salty tear which slides down it seconds later, he leans into his touch without even thinking.

 “It’s okay Shou,” he quietly says, thumbs rubbing Shouyou’s stomach comfortingly through the jacket he still has on. He stares up at Tetsurou while he does, look softening as he meets his eyes, aware and too scared to actually stay on his own for more than a second. There’s guilt somewhere in those dark hues and for a moment Koutarou thinks he deserves it. “No need to cry, we’re here for you. How about we sit down and talk this through, then we can…”

 “No.” Shouyou quickly says, the word _talk_ making a panicked shiver run up and down his body light lightning. He doesn’t want to talk, there’s nothing to talk about. There’s nothing he wants to know and nothing he wants to share. “No talking. Just this, please…”

 “We can’t not talk about this first, Shou. Nothing big, just to be sure…”

 “This first, talking later.”

 Shouyou was way too eager, and it wasn’t like him offering himself on a silver platter for his two roommates wasn’t something they were completely against too. But not under such circumstances, not when Shouyou looked so completely wrecked. They hadn’t imagined Shouyou’s first time like this at all, and maybe he hadn’t either.

 Koutarou looks up at Tetsurou again, this time silently pleading for help. If only Tetsurou knew how to handle things himself.

 As a last resolve, he gently lifts Shouyou’s chin to make him look up. The ginger lets him, thinking he’ll be gifted a kiss, but that’s far from Tetsurou’s mind.

 “I think you’re not ready yet,” he slowly says, making sure every word sinks into Shouyou’s hazy mind, “And we’re definitely not ready to push you into something you’ll regret.”

 “I won’t…”

 “You listen now.” Tetsurou stops him, before he can stutter out more nonsense, “I don’t know what happened today, but okay, we’ll talk later if you still want to. But this isn’t necessary, you’re not proving anything to anyone. We can do this when you actually want and need it. Not now.”

 “But I really…!”

 “ _Hinata_.”

 “ _Tetsurou_.” The name feels weird on his tongue as it leaves his mouth and for a moment Shouyou’s sorry, but then he doesn’t regret it. Because the puzzled look on Tetsurou’s face is worth it. “I’m ready now…promise. If it’s not now…Then I’m scared I won’t be able to do it later. I’m scared it’ll be too late…So I just need it now! While we still have time…”

 “We have all the time in the world, Shou.” Koutarou tries to assure him, but Shouyou knows that’s not exactly true. And if Oikawa’s words end up being the truth, then maybe he’s forcing the worst upon himself, but if their time together is short, then he’ll make out the best of it.

 “No we don’t…” he breaths out with a soft shake of his head and looks up at Tetsurou again. The older meets his gaze, eyes soft. “Please…Make me yours.”

 “Okay.”

888 

 Like always before, they start with kisses first. Hot kisses that burn Shouyou’s skin and make him tremble and beg for more, though he would never admit it to his roommates aloud. Undressing is quicker then before, more rushed from Shouyou’s side. It’s something new for him and he’s almost proud of himself. Then he remembers the hardest part is about to begin and that makes his pride falter.

 They’re on the bed seconds after entering the room and closing the door. The blinds are left open for no reason, there’s just no time to close them. The city outside is bright, but the colors turn into a blotchy mix in front of Shouyou’s eyes as they’re filled with hot tears of both pleasure and the earlier grief. A soft pleading sound leaves his lips as he feels Tetsurou’s fingers run down his naked skin, gentle, savoring every inch of him, but seconds later Koutarou seals their lips and quiets the needy sounds.

 They kiss like never before, thanks to Shouyou’s newfound braveness. He dares to take control for a moment and Koutarou groans, low and wanting and animalistic, as the smaller’s tongue forces its way into his mouth. But he won’t let Shouyou do what he wants, no. He forgets for a moment how hard it had been for Shouyou to give himself to them, to submit, to do some of the most elementary things without blushing or shying away and instead lets his fingers dig into his short bright hair, lets them grip a bit too tight and force his head back, letting him know how limited his actual control was. Weather it was right, he didn’t know, but it wasn’t like he could think at all with him so pliant under them, spread out and giving himself out to the fullest.

 Tetsurou’s touches, terribly tender compared to Koutarou’s rough kissing, shoulder the frame. There are no words, only sensation, smooth sensation. Tender, like the tickling lick of a kitten. Shouyou feels powerless for a second, suddenly stoned*. It’s like Tetsurou’s mapping out his body, every dip and bump. He’s enjoying himself too, forgetting his disapproval from before. That’s what Shouyou’s doing to him, that’s all him and Shouyou feels another spike of pride. He’s ready for this, he thinks. He feels good, feels sexy and is slowly turning into liquid under Tetsurou’s smooth fingertips, which tickle his smooth and hot skin with every long stroke.

 Wet, sloppy sounds leave his lips and he gulps down all the saliva gathering in his mouth like he’s staring at the tastiest meal, like he’s smelling the most amazing scent. Shouyou fights for his breath for a moment in which he feels Koutarou’s lips move down the side of his face, from his forehead, past his red ear and to his chin, not kissing, but just feeling the soft skin. Then his lips move to his throat, his neck and the junction between it and his heaving shoulder. It feels like Koutarou’s trying to get the best he can from the moment, to remember the feeling of Shouyou’s skin like this will really be their final touch, trying to engrave his scent in his mind and lock the breathy sound of his voice in his ears. And all of that concentration on him makes Shouyou so high on sensations…

 Feeling his hands itch to touch, Shouyou runs his fingers shyly over the hard muscle of Koutarou’s stomach, slides them over his shoulders and down his back, touching everything he can reach. He hears Koutarou groan again, deep and rumbling, and then Tetsurou’s lips are on his bare stomach, taking his breath away.

 “Breathe with me, Shouyou.” He hears him instruct gently, bites his lip hard when Koutarou starts leaving trails of wet kisses over his neck and looks down. Tetsurou’s staring at him too, eyes dark and almost unrecognizable. It makes Shouyou’s mouth water and he thinks that if this is the looks he gives Koutarou every single time they’re together like this, than he was out of his mind not to do this earlier.  “Talk to us…Say what you want.”

 But Shouyou has no strength and mind to form words. Every time he tries, the syllables turn into breathy moans and embarrassing gasps. The heat is humid, but every touch is freezing cold, leaving him shaking and shuddering, but wanting more. And for the first time Shouyou seems almost feral, knowing what he wants and how to get it. But the other two had no intentions of rushing through this. No, Shouyou was going to feel everything thoroughly, every kiss, every caress. And by the end of it he would be seethed and happy and finally calm enough to tell them everything…

 But not right now. No was about him and him alone and they would make it worth, like everything else.

 Tetsurou’s fingers were in Shouyou’s boxers in an instant, slowly pulling them down his legs and feeling the trained muscles of his hips strain under his hands. They had gone only this far the last times, but Shouyou didn’t seem to mind now. In fact, he looked far too gone to even notice. He looked utterly and completely touch starved.

 The clingy material of the boxers slid down lower as Tetsurou continued to suck and nibble on the soft skin of the ginger’s abdomen, leaving trails of saliva and blooming pink marks. The ministration made Shouyou arch into the touches. The knot in his stomach was painfully tight now and continued to tighten, the sensation strong and almost scary. But there was something deeper down which calmed him, something filling the void and bringing sparks of pleasure all across his body.

 When Tetsurou leaned up and reached towards the bedside table, Shouyou knew what was about to follow and he waited for it. He let himself melt against the warm sheets and bed covers, giving himself over completely to Koutarou and Tetsurou and submitting. It was amazing how much he loved these people, how much he trusted them and how at peace he felt in their presence.

 Caught in the trap of his thoughts, Shouyou almost missed the soft sound when the tube of lube was opened. When he felt the cool liquid against the inside of his thighs, he shivered in anticipation. This was real, it was happening, and he wanted it.

 Koutarou kissed him messily again, holding down his hands, as Tetsurou opened him up, one finger at a time. Slow and deliberate movements. Gentle, as if Shouyou was made out of glass. Lube trickled down between Shouyou’s thighs, soaking up the sheets under him. The erotic squelching sounds it made as Tetsurou moved his finger inside of him made excited shivers run up and down his spine, made his face burn in embarrassment. He felt terribly warm, his skin was sticky with sweat and Koutarou’s body above his was as if suffocating him. Saliva was trickling down Shouyou’s chin by the time they parted and Koutarou didn’t wait for him to catch his breath before diving down to leave bright red marks over his neck, making him cry out.

 By the time Tetsurou worked a second finger into him, every nerve in his body was buzzing with need. Hands were all over him, sweat mingled with saliva and lube. All of those scents, all that heat made him dizzy in the best of ways. Fingers wrapped around his hot, neglected member, precum pooled over his heaving stomach, and Shouyou continued to moan and whine for more shamelessly. Koutarou whispered praises and hot dirty promises against his ear while Tetsurou continued to work him open with wet fingers and tongue and he couldn’t even think about being embarrassed or scared now.

 All of those new sensations were pushing him towards the edge quicker than he would like, but he didn’t dare protest. He needed to cum so badly by now. His moans turned silent, leaving only harsh pants behind. He held onto Koutarou for dear life, like he would run away if he loosened his hold.

 And suddenly everything stopped. Tetsurou’s hands and mouth weren’t on him anymore and Koutarou shifted away from his embrace. The sudden change made Shouyou groan out, feeling cold and empty. When he looked up at Tetsurou pleadingly, he got a silent answer in return.

 _Not yet_.

 And while he tried to look cold and collected, there was a smile in those warm eyes. Fondness. Happiness to have all of Shouyou wanting and trembling beneath him. Pliant and ready for him, begging him to take him and claim him. He was offering something no one could refuse and one would have to be an idiot to try.

 They waited for Shouyou to cool down before Tetsurou took a condom from the bedside table. And that wasn’t something Shouyou liked.

 “No condom.” He forced out, feeling his voice odd and raspy. Tetsurou looked down at him as if he had lost his mind. “I’ve never…And I trust you so…I wanna feel you fully…”

 “If that’s what you want…” Tetsurou agreed, leaving the condom aside in favor of moving between Shouyou's legs, pulling them apart wider. “This is your last chance to back down…If you want to stop, say it now or you won’t have another chance.”

 “I want you.” Was all the answer Shouyou could give, the words hot and deep and the sound of his voice rumbling low in his chest. The fear was now a thrill, the shame was thrown out the window. He had never felt like this with Tobio…Maybe because he wasn’t on the level of these two mature people, ready to give him all he wanted, how he wanted.

 Tetsurou didn’t say anything more. He held his gaze, Shouyou needing to blink back the tears of pleasure so he could see every bit of him clearly. He forced his eyes to stay open as he felt Tetsurou slowly pushing into him, opening him up wider that his fingers. The previous heat was back like it had never left. When the head was in fully, Shouyou shut his eyes and bit his lip, fingers scrambling over the sheets for something to hold. He heard Tetsurou breath out, long and deep, while Koutarou groaned from beside him.

 “ _Ahhn_ , _Tetsu_ …” his own voice was raspy, sounding almost like the growl of a predator. It brought Shouyou arousing shivers.

 The pressure steadily grew, agonizing inch by inch, second by second. Shouyou could barely moan anymore, his mouth hung open, saliva dripping down his chin, but no sound came out aside from the quick intakes of breath the deeper Tetsurou reached inside him. It hurt just as much as any first time, the sting of his insides opening up for the first time wasn’t pleasant, but knowing this was Tetsurou doing this to him was enough to satisfy Shouyou and make his mind go blank for the pain.

 It felt like hours before he felt Tetsurou’s skin against the back of his thighs, but once he was fully in, Shouyou felt relief. They were together now, connected so intimately. It made tears gather in his eyes and roll down his cheeks and when he felt Tetsurou leaning over him, covering his small shivering body with his and kissing the tears away, afraid he was in pain, he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around him tightly. It wasn’t just a gesture of passion, it was a silent _thank you_.

 “I’m gonna move now, Shouyou…” he breathed out a moment later, his lips tickling Shouyou’s. It was the first time he had ever used his given name and the way he breathed it out, whispered it as if it was secrete, made Shouyou gasp.

 Tetsurou pulled his thighs sharply against his own, tugging them up and wrapping them around his waist, one hand staying on Shouyou’s upper leg and the other supporting him up. He pulled out slowly, only inches back, before making a shallow thrust foreword. The motion made sparks of pleasure play against Shouyou’s skin and colorful stars play before his eyes.

 Tetsurou continues with the slow, short and shallow thrusts, building up the tension in Shouyou’s stomach again. His short nails dug into the skin of his lover’s back. He wanted to leave more marks, show the world he belonged to someone other than Koutarou, but the little rational mind he had left protested. He could, he didn’t have the guts…

 Their pace eventually picked up. The shallow thrusts turned into long impatient ones, hard and fast. And Shouyou didn’t hold back his voice this time. His loud moans covered Tetsurou’s grunts and groans as he drove him to compilation. It was an odd feeling, like he wanted to cum quick, to finally topple over the edge of pleasure, but in the same time he wanted it to continue forever, to feel this amazing feeling of Tetsurou filling him up, to feel them connected.

 But Shouyou obviously lacked stamina for a first timer. His moans get louder, higher. His grip on Tetsurou tightens and his legs wrap around his waist until he’s clinging to him, mouth feeling dry but watering in the same time. A small bead of sweat rolls down his temple and for a second every muscle in his body tightens before the knot breaks and he’s cumming with Tetsurou’s name on his tongue.

 Tetsurou fucks him long and deep through his orgasm, feeling him tremble, feeling him come undone. He watches every change in his expression, marvels at the way he arches his back high and hisses as he drags his nails down his sweaty back. His heart races for a moment, feels warmth spreading in his chest. It’s something indescribable, something new and fresh and Tetsurou really doesn’t want to let it go.

 He cums embarrassingly early, emptying inside Shouyou like the ginger had wished before collapsing beside him in a fit of harsh pants. But everything’s far from done. Koutarou, who they forgot for the short lived minutes of their pleasure, moves to get up from his spot beside Shouyou. He’s panting, face flushed, but he’s been so good and patient, keeping his hands off himself and waiting until it’s his turn. Tetsurou could give him the satisfaction of being inside Shouyou, where it's so warm and hot and tight and so deliciously wet. He wonders now why he hadn’t done it earlier…Oh, yeah. Because Shouyou was worried and scared and shy.

 He wasn’t either now. Not in the least.

 Still catching his breath, body cooling down, Shouyou feels Koutarou shift between his legs. And that’s alright. He sinks right back into the ocean of pleasure and lets him do what he wants. He’s definitely not scared or worried at this point, on the contrary. He feels empty. No. he really does feel empty. There’s a void in his chest, worryingly deep and unsettling. But he can forget it for now, because he has Koutarou’s stable presence above him and when he looks up at his face, his eyes are hungry. Hungry for him.

 Shouyou doesn’t have to reach up this time. Koutarou leans down above him, chest to chest, feels Shouyou’s heart stuttering behind his ribs and he slides inside him in one quick and fluid movement. Shouyou welcomes him with opened arms before wrapping them around his neck, fingers digging into his rustled hair. His legs wrap around his waist quickly without guidance and he tries to lift them higher, higher, so he can get Koutarou deeper, deeper. The delicious stretch is back, but a lot more. New and thrilling. He’s shivering now, shallow breaths and whimpers slipping out of his mouth as Koutarou pushes inside his over sensitive walls.

 Resting his forehead on the pillow beside Shouyou’s head, Koutarou opens his blurry eyes to look at Tetsurou. As always, it’s always a treat to fuck someone else while the other watched. No, when Tetsurou watched, specifically. The hunger in his eyes always made Koutarou submit in shivers. This time though Tetsurou doesn’t only watch. While Koutarou moves his hips in short deep thrusts inside Shouyou, doubting his stamina in the moment, slender fingers slide gently down his face and to his chin. They tickle down his neck and a hot palm glides over his shoulder blades, rubs soothingly over the small of his back. Those small touches over the very edges of his nerves combined with Shouyou’s breathy whimpers and the sobs of his name ( _Bokuto-san_ , _Bokuto-san_ …like he’s praying to a God) and the slick heat enveloping his cock drives him over the edge in no more than a minute. The satisfied moan Shouyou lets out when his cum covers his insides is far too dirty for his mouth, it almost makes Koutarou blush.

 Tetsurou’s eyes are on his the entire time and Koutarou feels as if needles are pricking his skin.

 When it’s all over, Shouyou’s a mess. And he doesn’t really realize he’s came a second time, nor does he realize where he is, what time it is, what he’s doing. He feels like he’s floating, his mind is hazy, vision is a blur of colors and every nerve in his body buzzes with pure electricity. He feels numb, but terribly good.

 He feels empty.

 That realization scares him enough to bring him to his senses and when he opens his eyes, after a few agonizing seconds of pulling himself together after two intense climaxes, he notices Tetsurou’s gone and that Koutarou’s shifting him, gently pulling his back to his chest and whispering praises in his ear, running his fingers throw his hair, than over his skin and gently kissing away the blush from his ear and cheek.

 “Where’s Kuroo-san…?” is the first thing Shouyou says, feeling his throat sore from all the moaning and yelling. He shifts in Koutarou’s arms, but the older holds him down and in his embrace.

 “Tetsu’s in the bathroom, getting away the towel he cleaned you up with.” He quietly shushes him, making Shouyou lie down comfortably and holding him down until he relaxes. “He’ll be back in a second, don’t worry…You can relax now, we’re here…It’s all fine.”

 Koutarou’s fingers intertwine with his over Shouyou’s stomach and more light kisses are placed along his neck and shoulder. Comforting, soft, gentle…Just like aftercare from their usual activities, but now Shouyou felt sore between his legs and that ache made him smile as he inhaled Koutarou’s scent as much as he could. This is how it’s supposed to feel with a lover by his side, warm and caring. Shouyou could almost say he felt complete, full of all those amazing feelings.

 But deep down he knows that what he just did has left him emptier.

 Koutarou’s out like a light by the time Tetsurou comes back to lie on Shouyou’s other side. He feels his chest rise and fall against his back, feels him wrapped around him. Tetsurou gives him a small grin when he lies down and brings the covers over them. That small smile looks almost loving and content until Shouyou remembers how he almost forced them into this. And even though everyone enjoyed it and he _knows_ this, a spark of doubt lights his mind as he looks at Tetsurou.

 The doubt turns into guilt when he feels his fingers gently rubbing his cheek with no other motive but to feel his soft skin, comfort him, praise him without words. The touch makes Shouyou think of the scary void in his chest he can’t and won’t be able to fill, because he doesn’t have a gentle lover and he never will. He has Tetsurou and Koutarou, they are together and always will be and he’ll be a third wheel in everything, even in sex, as perfect as it is with them. The void will always be there, the emptiness will always be wide and dark and unsettling. Forever and ever while he’s living with them.

 “Shouyou…?” he hears Tetsurou say softly, and he suddenly looks worried, though Shouyou can’t tell from the tears gathering in his eyes, hot and insistent. “Shouyou is something wrong? Did we hurt you? Did you dislike something?”

 There’s a lump of grief in his throat, preventing him to speak up. When he does gather the courage though, his voice is broken, every word interrupted by heady hiccups.

 “Tell me you love me.” He pleads, trying to grab Tetsurou’s hand with his free one, “Please…Tell me you love me.”

 The look on Tetsurou’s face makes the void deeper and wider. It’s a look of sadness. One of guilt and regret. One of hurt.

 His fingers brush away the tears from Shouyou’s cheeks, a flow which isn’t stopping, can’t and never will stop while they’re together.

 “Sleep, Shouyou…” he whispers, gently, softly. Pleadingly. “Sleep baby, come on…”

 “No…” Shouyou chokes out, almost hysterically, “I need to…Say you love me. _Lie to me_.”

 With the same guilty look, Tetsurou gently brushes away the soft hair sticking to Shouyou’s foreheads and softly kisses it. _An apology_.

 “I love you.” His breaths out, fingers sliding into Shouyou’s hair, stroking down his cheek again, trying to calm him. “I love you, Shouyou…I love you baby, sleep now okay…It’s all okay, I love you.”

 The words are almost a sob, but Shouyou clings on to them like they’re his final hope. He knows they’re a lie, but they make his heart thump, make him happy.

 Love is after all a lie, so why not enjoy the little lies around it that make you happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hohooo, here's the next quick update! Well, this is basically the end of an imaginary first part of this fic, we're nearing the climax and end of this! This would have been done a lot sooner if I had the guts to write the sex scene...And about my struggle, I decided to look in our friend Google about tips on how to write a good smut scene (go on, laugh you deuche!)! I got my hands on some pretty well written scenes from other actual books and there's a marked sentence in this chapter somewhere there with a *, that sentence is taken from A. M. Homes' book "Music for Torching". I fell in love with it on the spot and knew it had to be in this part, but I just had to put mister Homes' name to make sure no one accuses me of anything if he/she ends up recognizing it, and simply out of admiration for his genius. Another thing about the inspiration in this chapter: about the last scene, the very last one, I got inspired to write it after reading a really good book by a Russian author Tatyana Polyakova. The love story in it is amazing and it inspired another fic I'm working on now. So I'm not gonna explain the whole thing I'm just going to say that Olga, the main character, is searching for love to fill the emptiness in her life and Alexander who works in Moscow and regularly comes and goes from her life is something like her lover, but doesn't want anything more, while Olga develops feelings she'll never admit. One scene that got me in tears was when after sex Olga asks him to tell her he loves her. He does with annoyance. When he finally leaves her for good in the end of the book, Olga cries, but will never admit how heartbroken she is. Spoiler...
> 
> I don't think there's anything more to say, I hope this chapter doesn't feel rushed (I wanted the sex scene to be less graphic though, for a reason) and that you like it! If yes, leave a review in the comments, I will be thankful! P.S. I know I promised no more angst, but my fingers have a mind of their own when they type, sorry...


	11. Loving You at Sundown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know this update is late, but it's still here! More in the notes bellow, but for now, albeit late, you can check out the playlist I made for this fic:  
> Vika Daineko - "Drama" (The main inspiration for this actually)  
> Yulianna - "Razbitaya Lyubov/Broken Love" and "Ty ne takoi/You're not like that"  
> Ariana Grande - "Side to Side"  
> Serebro - "Slomana/Broken"  
> 50 Shades of Gray theme song - "Crazy in Love"  
> F.O. - "Mozhe bi/Maybe" and "Lichnata/The personal"  
> Hanna - "Omar Hayyam"  
> Hyuna - "Roll Deep"  
> Nyusha - "Obeshaet/I promise"  
> Skillet - "Salvation", "Stars", "Fire and Fury" and "What I believe"  
> P.S. I know some of these songs are not English, but Russian and two are even in Bulgarian, but even if they may not be understandable, I still think you'll like the sound of them alone, because the feeling they set really fits with the ones I try to put in this fic!
> 
> AND! LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I want to show off the amazing fan art, first for this fic and first for me at all, brought to you by ShinigamiKittyKat!!! -> http://sta.sh/0jrvncpoy27  
> Thanks a bunch love, you're amazing!! ^3^ 
> 
> You can proceed with the chapter ->

 In the morning everything feels like a dream. Like he had imagined every bit of emotion felt the night before. Like he had imagined the emptiness and the black void. He didn’t feel it anymore. He felt warm and safe, could smell the comforting scent of the sheets, the faint sourness of dried sweat and the fading sweetness of the lube. The sounds of the street outside filled his ears, like every morning.

 There’s pressure over his middle where Koutarou has his arm wrapped around him over the duvet and it fills Shouyou’s chest with giddy joy. Tetsurou’s in front of him too, back turned to him and head buried under his pillow. Taking a hand out of the cover, Shouyou gently runs his fingers over his naked back, feeling the warmth of his skin. He’s there. He’s real and he isn’t going anywhere.

 Content and relaxed, Shouyou allows himself to sink back into the comfort, closes his eyes and breaths in deeply. The delightfully warm scents of sweat and aromatic softener fill his lungs and make him dizzy in the best of way.

 

 

 They don’t get away without a talk. And Shouyou tells them everything, from the café scene to Oikawa coming to his work, tells them all he said about them, explains his feelings about it.

 He doesn’t mention the conversation with Kenma and, seethed and filled enough from their heated night, doesn’t tell them his actual feelings towards them either.

 He doesn’t have the strength and guts to. And he doesn’t find a need. Because Tetsurou and Koutarou love each other and that love will never be the thing they can give Shouyou.

 After the short talk, relief crosses Koutarou and Tetsurou’s faces and a heavy weight lifts from Shouyou’s shoulders. He’s managed to keep everything together, so he can rest assured again. It’s like the dark clouds have disappeared from above their heads, leaving place for a fresh new start after the short lived crisis.

 Their lives don’t change much after that. Their routine is mostly the same as they step into November. They juggle their works and studies, Koutarou and Shouyou try to push in volleyball somewhere there, though Shouyou’s enthusiasm slowly starts to drop the harder school gets and the more time consuming his work becomes. They still have movie nights on Wednesday and a healthy sexual life with a specially reserved Friday night for the special occasions which Shouyou looks foreword to with every new week. Though every time they do have sex, it feels just as empty as the first time. Hot and amazing, but leaving something painful in Shouyou’s chest, a bad taste in his mouth. It slowly turns into a very pleasant chore, Tetsurou doesn’t say he loves him again, and Shouyou doesn’t beg to. Because it hurts them both. Koutarou notices, but doesn’t ask. Because he knows what the actual problem is and doesn’t want to make it worse.

 

 In the early days of November Koutarou sits down on the kitchen table and scribbles a few names on a peace of paper titled _Boyfriend List_. All of them are friends, good and amazing people sharing so much of Shouyou’s interests. Looking down at the list though, he feels annoyance. Imagining them with Shouyou makes his heart clench, makes him somehow angry and he leaves the list and their most stupid idea so far.

 Tetsurou finds it the same afternoon, reads and rereads it before scrunching it up and throwing it in the drawer of his desk with all the other trash he has stored there. He says it’s so Shouyou won’t find it, but secretly he knows that it’s because he wants it as far away from his sight as possible.

 The idea of Shouyou with someone else disgusts him now.

888 

  The small red bowl of cat food stood full for the second day now, bothering Shouyou every time he looked at it. It had never caught his eye so far, hidden between the fridge and the cupboard with the sink, but maybe because it was usually empty. It being full meant that Rintarou hadn’t eaten and he was usually a pretty quick eater.

 But it was two full days already and he hadn’t shown up to get his food. Tetsurou said he ran off somewhere to pick up ladies, maybe it was that time of the year, and that he would be back when he started missing his comfy home. He wasn’t used to being out on the cold streets. He had always been a house cat, a spoiled one. So after having his fun outside it was positive he would come home, but it had been two days since he snuck out between Koutarou’s legs and even if Tetsurou said nothing, it showed on his face how actually worried he was about his pet.

 “Rin hasn’t come home yet…?” Shouyou stated one morning, sitting down his coffee mug on the table in the kitchen. His eyes were drawn to the full red bowl between the fridge and the cupboard.

 “Yeah.” Tetsurou answers bluntly from the couch.

 “I’m sure he’ll be back soon!” Koutarou exclaimed suddenly. His voice however was unconvincing. Or maybe he even sounded guilty. If the cat didn’t turn up, it would be technically his fault. “I’m sure he’ll turn up! He’s a smart cat, he knows where he lives. Right, Tetsu, right?”

 “Yeah, he’ll be back.” Tetsurou replies with the same nonchalance, but the worry and uncertainty is evident under it. It’s obvious his in a foul mood, so Koutarou and Shouyou don’t bother him further. Koutarou’s too guilty to and Shouyou was late for class anyway.

 Outside is chilly, usual for November. Shouyou’s breath turns into puffs when he steps outside of the building, his fingers slowly growing cold around the handle of the plastic trash bag as he walks towards the corner. Tetsurou had grumpily entrusted them with taking out their trash before settling back on the couch.

 One thing Shouyou liked best about his neighborhood was the peace and quiet in the morning, at least, if he walked out early enough. Traffic usually started at sunrise, but there were moments where the noise was less than usual, and it was relaxing to walk to the station through the calm streets. There were just enough people and cars to make everything lively, but not enough to make your head hurt. And Shouyou, as an early person, appreciated it.

 He didn’t exactly appreciate the early classes, but he tried not to let them be a bother.

 The trashcans stood right around the corner, beside a half empty vending machine Koutarou sometimes got drinks from. Shouyou quickly skipped over to one and threw the plastic bag inside with ease, humming all the while. He took a step towards the street, ready to cross, then he stopped.

 Something behind the trash can had caught his eye and while Shouyou tried to pass it off simply as the next piece of trash and not bother, it was already clear how big his curiosity was. But this wasn’t just that. He didn’t turn around cautiously, didn’t take the few steps towards the trashcan just because he was curious.

 It was a lot dirtier behind it than it seemed, as if people were throwing their trash purposely outside of it. There were wrappers, big, small and in different colors, plastic bags and rotting leftovers of vegetables. And just as Shouyou had feared, among the garbage he spotted a dirty patch of beige fur, hidden out of sight by a dirty grocery bag. Looking around to see if anyone was giving him weird looks by now, Shouyou slowly moved away the bag with the tip of his shoe, revealing more beige fur, dirty and mated, and finally, a red leather collar topped by a shiny name plate.

 Biting his lip, Shouyou quickly reached for his phone with trembling fingers. He stepped away from the trashcan and quickly dialed Koutarou’s number.

 

 Koutarou came running down the street minutes later, looking as pale as a sheet and holding a roll of black plastic garbage bags. His eyes are frantic, scared almost, darting restlessly from Shouyou’s own paled face to the stone cold cat under the dirty garbage. Shouyou barely manages to say anything before Koutarou tears off a bag from the roll and kneels down in the trash behind the container.

 “Poor Rin…” he mumbles, pushing aside the bags and wrappers from the cat’s body. Shouyou can hear him wincing, talking softly to the now dead animal as if it could still hear him, as if it needed his comfort. For a moment he had forgotten that Rin was Koutarou’s pet too. That the grumpy cat was loved by his owners like a child of sorts and that he too had developed an attachment to him.

 “I’m sorry buddy, sorry…” Koutarou winced again, bringing the lifeless cat in the black bag and slowly, and as carefully as possible, wrapping it up. “Oh my God, Tetsu will flip, he’ll kill me. I’m so terribly sorry buddy…”

 “What are we going to tell Kuroo-san?” Shouyou mutters over the lump in his throat.

 “You’re not gonna tell him anything.” Koutarou quickly says, taking the black plastic bundle in his arms. “I’ll…I’ll tell him eventually, just not now. I mean, he probably knows what’s going on by now, we can just say Rin ran away…No, that won’t be fair. I’ll tell him tonight, you go to class.”

 “But where…”

 “I’ll…I’ll take the car and bury him somewhere. Or just…I don’t know, I’ll think of something.”

 Koutarou turns to walk past Shouyou, before the ginger reaches out and grasps the edge of his jacket. When he looks at Shouyou over his shoulder, he’s met with large, comforting eyes, full of understanding and sympathy.

 “Bokuto-san…I’m really sorry. I loved him too.”

 Shouyou almost whispers the last part and Koutarou’s struck by his sincerity. But it shouldn’t come off as something so unusual. Shouyou’s always been honest with them and with everyone in general.

 “Yeah…I know. Me too.”

 When Koutarou turned to walk away, Shouyou let him. He watched him, heart aching for the loss of the household favorite pet, until he walked around the corner and disappeared from his view.

 The rest of the day was grayer than the morning had predicted and Shouyou was left with a sour taste in his mouth the whole time during classes, volleyball and work.

 

 Koutarou hadn’t called or texted him the entire day and that made the gray clouds darker over Shouyou’s head. He tried texting Tetsurou a bit before his shift at the store ended, but he got no reply. Maybe they were talking, Shouyou figured. And if they were, no one would be in the mood to chat.

 Little did he know that the worst part was just about to come.

 When he finally made it home, a bit after dark, Shouyou was surprised to hear yelling coming from his apartment when he stopped in front of the door, key in hand.

 “…You mean to tell me that it’s normal to just poison someone’s cat like that?! What century do we live in, damn it!” Tetsurou was shouting, pacing around in the living room. Koutarou was sitting on the couch, obviously on edge, but staying quiet and waiting for his boyfriend to calm down. None of them even heard Shouyou walking inside. “No, I can’t believe this! What kind of a monster do you have to be…Why would anyone…It was plain obvious he wasn’t a street cat, he had our address and my number on his plate, is it that hard to just call us if anyone’s found him!”

 “Tetsu…”

 “No! This can’t be real, this can’t be real!”

 Standing in the doorway of the living room, Shouyou watched as Koutarou stood up from the couch, took his furious boyfriend’s arm and pulled him into a tight embrace. He kept him close and refused to let go, even when Tetsurou began to struggle, not in the mood for unnecessary closeness.

 “It’s not fair!” he continued to talk all the while, the note of sorrow in his voice breaking Shouyou’s heart. “How could anyone do it?! He was in his fucking golden age! He wasn’t even that old!”

 When he began to ease into Koutarou’s arms, Shouyou quietly turned to walk towards his room. The last thing his eyes caught was the shiny plate of Rin’s red collar, lying on the glass table in the living room.

888 

 Rintarou the grumpy Siamese cat had been for most of his three year life the baby of the house. At least that’s how Koutarou described him the same night, when Shouyou and he sat in front of the TV. Some friend of Tetsurou’s had given the little kitten to him a bit after he and Koutarou moved in together and since then he had been a constant piece of their life. He was like their child, like a little baby they raised together. They gave him baths together, they took him on vacations with them, tucked him in bed at night. They were there when he was going through his rebel age, as Koutarou put it with a laugh. That part of his life when he tore the curtains and soft furniture, jumped on tables while they ate and did his things out of the litter box. Then came his mature age when he started running away to answer the call of the nature and Koutarou had told his boyfriend countless of times that castration was better than those pills they gave him. But how could Tetsurou do that to his baby?

 And here’s where that brought them. Not like anyone was at fault. Maybe the bad things happened for a reason. No, they most definitely happened for a reason. Though saying goodbye to the baby of the house so early in their life wasn’t something they could forget so easily.

 And then came the question what could Shouyou do to make things better. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could really do and by the time he settled with the idea, the first weeks of the month had passed and the Rintarou incident had been mostly forgotten, or at least it seemed that way. Things were slowly returning to the usual and the drama around the incident was forgotten, for the better or worse.

888 

 A few days later, Koutarou woke Shouyou up early, calling his name in a hushed tone and shaking his shoulder. When Shouyou asked what he was doing, his roommate and lover grinned from ear to ear.

 “It’s Tetsu’s birthday!” he quietly exclaimed, “November seventeenth, remember?”

 “Oh yeah…” Shouyou muttered sleepily, before slowly getting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “It’s already the seventeenth? God, I almost forgot!”

 “No worries! Just get up quick, I need you for the surprise! And quiet, Tetsu’s still sleeping.”

 Already awake and excited, Shouyou follows Koutarou’s lead as the two walk into the hall and into the living room. Koutarou makes a quick stop in the kitchen to get the special birthday cake Shouyou doesn’t remember him buying. It isn’t anything special, just a small round chocolate cake, “Happy Birthday Tetsurou” written over it in white frosting. It looked fresh and ready to be eaten, at least if Koutarou didn’t plan to smash it in Tetsurou’s face as a sweet wake up call for his twenty forth birthday.

 Nothing like that happened of course. Once in their shared room Koutarou handed Shouyou the cake, already topped with burning candles, and leaned down to wake up his boyfriend with sweet butterfly kisses.

 “Happy birthday Tetsu!” he yelled loudly, almost shoving the birthday cake in Tetsurou’s face when he slowly leaned up, groggy and a bit freaked out.

 “Happy birthday, Kuroo-san!” Shouyou joins in almost immediately, grinning wide as the realization slowly downs on Tetsurou.

 “Well…God, thanks guys, you got me here…” he laughs awkwardly scratching the back of his head and smiling fondly at his boyfriend, Shouyou and the cake. “One hell of a surprise. Ten out of ten, A plus!”

 “My baby is finally catching up to me!” Koutarou cooed, leaving the cake in Shouyou’s hands in favor of throwing himself in Tetsurou’s arms.

 “Wow, bro, you’re excited for both of us!” Tetsurou laughed, hugging back his boyfriend. He looked up at Shouyou, who stood aside smiling, and raised a hand, inviting him to the hug. Finally noticed and happy about it, Shouyou quickly left the cake on the bedside table and took the given opportunity, hugging both his roommates tight.

 “Happy birthday, Kuroo-san.” Shouyou congratulated again, before pulling away, “How does it feel to be a year older?!”

 “Well, not any more different than yesterday.” Tetsurou snickered, patting Koutarou’s back, his slightly older boyfriend hanging on him like a koala to a tree branch, “But that cake sure does look good, how bout you let me get up so I can…take care of it in private?”

 “That’s for all of us you jerk!” Koutarou pipes up, wiggling in Tetsurou’s hands when his boyfriend tightens his grip.

 “Patience, my young pupil!”

 Tetsurou presses a sloppy kiss on Koutarou’s cheek, lets him go in favor of pulling Shouyou close to gift him with a special sloppy gift to his cheek just for him, before getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

 Shouyou watches him go, his skin buzzing where Tetsurou’s lips were just seconds ago, not even listening to Koutarou as he takes the cake and walks out of the bedroom.

 The three ate cake for breakfast, Koutarou presents Tetsurou his present (a neat new watch, heavy and classy), drank their coffee and eventually had to leave for work and early classes. But something was missing in their usual morning routine, yet no one wanted to admit it.

 It didn’t matter much anyway.

 

 The same evening it was Shouyou’s shift in the store. A good thing too, since he had to buy snacks for Tetsurou’s birthday party. He couldn’t wait to go back home and get everything ready for when their guests came. It wasn’t going to be anything major, it was a week day too. Just a couple of friends eating and drinking soda and a little bit of alcohol. Just a bit, to spice things up.

 Shouyou barely waited for the end of his shift to come. He cleaned the store a bit before closing time, gathered the trash so he could take it out on his way home and got a bunch of snacks, the money for which he left in the register before counting out everything for the day. He got changed, in the small closet room and pulled on his jacket before taking the groceries and the trash from the store and walking out in the cold night.

 There’re little cars on the streets, the street lights are glimmering brightly. Before heading up the street however, Shouyou makes a quick stop to the side alley beside the store where the dumpster is. He quickly throws the garbage from the store in it’s waiting mouth and, happy and excited, turns to walk back to the street.

 Just as he is about to however, something quick and small runs past his legs, making Shouyou yelp in surprise, almost tripping over his feet. Keeping his hands outstretched to his sides to regain his balance, Shouyou looks around his feet for the lightning fast creature, feeling his heart hammer in his chest.

 Maybe he had enough of scary urban legends at night.

 Cautiously, Shouyou turns back towards the dark allay and the dirty dumpster, looking over the shadow covered ground. His heart thumps loudly in his chest and he gulps down the fear. There’s obviously nothing with him there however, so with a deep sigh of relief, Shouyou turns to walk away.

 Just then does he feel something sharp hatching and pulling at the edge of his jeans and _oh God_ , he’s almost glad in the end that he was so frightened he couldn’t even shout. His eyes, wide and terrified, quickly dart down towards the ground and what he sees leaves his mouth wide open.

 His wide eyes are met with two equally wide and frightened ones, almost glowing as they peered up at him. What Shouyou has in his feet isn’t some monster or imp. It’s a small gray ball of fur, with big fluffy ears and a tail playfully moving left and right behind it and the most adorable pink nose he’s ever seen. What Shouyou has before him, scratching at his jeans with thin yet sharp nails, is a small kitten, small enough to comfortably fit in his palms.

 He lets out a breath laugh, clutching at where his heart is, hammering wildly behind his ribs.

 “You scared me there.” he gently coos, slowly kneeling down. The rustling of the bag in his hands scared the animal though, making it jump away from him and back towards the dumpster when he reaches out for it.

 As any little thing though, it’s still curious. It watches Shouyou as he leaves the bag on the ground, slowly, so it didn’t make any more sharp sounds, and again outstretched his fingers towards it.

 “Come here, buddy, it’s okay.” He softly speaks to it, smiling brightly, “I’m not gonna hurt you, okay? So come over here, come on.”

 He wiggles his fingers a bit and soon the kitten is skipping towards him again, swatting it’s small paws against his hand. It makes Shouyou laugh again and he’s happy when it lets him pet it’s small head, ears twitching in delight.

 “Well you’re certainly a little tiger, aren’t you?” he jokes with the playful ball of fur as it bites at his fingers, rolling around in the dirt. “Okay, that kind of…hurts. Okay, _ouch_!”

 He swats a finger against it’s small pink nose and it _actually_ lets out a sneeze before again jumping at his hand and it’s the cutest thing Shouyou’s ever seen in real life.

 He’s a bit reluctant at first, but the kitten is so soft when he pets it, so he doesn’t think twice before carefully taking it in his hands. Just as he thought, it fits just right in his palms. It doesn’t try to wiggle away either, just looks up at him and then licks over his hands with its small, warm and rough tongue.

 This is fate, Shouyou thinks. Certain faith. It isn’t struggling because it found it’s human. And then an idea pops up in Shouyou’s mind, one that brings a large smile to his face. The animal in his hands looks up at him in question, _why is that odd human smiling so much_ , and Shouyou bringing it up to his face to rub it’s soft fur against his cheek. It smells clean, even if it was rolling in the dirt moments ago. Smells like a baby, fresh and warm. It’s all alone, who knows where it’s mother is, or what will happen with it on the street. Shouyou doesn’t think twice before setting his mind.

 The kitten purrs, tipping it’s own small head to rub against Shouyou’s cheek.

 “Let’s take you home buddy.” He happily coos again and, keeping the animal close to his chest with one hand, leans down to take the bag with the snacks and drinks in his other before finally turning to walk towards the well lit street.

He has never been faster when going home, almost running up the streets towards his neighborhood. Excitements bubbling in his chest and he can’t wait to bring the kitten home to his roommates. He wonders for a moment if he’s making a mistake and if it’s alright to bring a street animal home without asking beforehand. But what harm could it do? No it would be the best surprise for Tetsurou’s birthday. His roommates would have a new baby to take care of, and maybe Shouyou would be in it too now.

 It isn’t long before he’s standing in front of his door, breathing hard and chest heaving from how much he ran. He looks down at the little animal, nestled between the crook of his elbow and his chest. The cat looks back up at him and blinks, waiting. Smile growing wider, Shouyou digs in his pocket for his keys after setting the grocery bag down beside his feet.

 When he unlocks the door and finally steps inside the warm apartment, Koutarou walks into the hall almost immediately.

 “You’re finally here!” he greats happily, “You have no idea how long I’ve… _What’s that_?!” his voice rises when he spots the cat in Shouyou’s arms and Shouyou quickly raises a finger to his lips.

 “Shh!” he shushes him, barely containing his grin, “Where’s Kuroo-san?”

 “He’s…He…” Koutarou stutters, before turning back towards the living room, “ _Tetsurou_! Come over here!”

 “I’m a bit busy right now!” Tetsurou calls back from their bedroom, but Koutarou’s insistent.

 “You have to come and see this, come on!” he yells again, giddy joy evident in his voice even though Shouyou can’t see his face.

 Suddenly, he doesn’t regret bringing the cat home one bit.

 Both hear Tetsurou let out a long groan before he walks into the living room, “I swear, if it’s something stupid, I’ll kill you. I gotta study for this test, it’s fucking important!”

 He steps beside Koutarou, who’s just as excited as Shouyou, and sends both of them a grumpy look. It’s like he doesn’t even notice the cat, watching them all with big curious eyes, until Shouyou steps closer to him and lifts it up for him to see. He’s beaming, smile as bright as the sun and just as blinding.

 “Happy birthday Kuroo-san!” he says over a laugh when Tetsurou’s scowl falls, replaced with surprise and confusion. All color drains from his face, as his eyes move from the cat to Shouyou and back, “I kind of forgot about your birthday today so I didn’t have time to get you a present, but…I hope he makes you happy!”

 “Oh my God, Tetsu, you should look at your face!” Koutarou laughs from beside him, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and bringing him into a hug, “You look like you’re about to cry! Aww, don’t cry baby!”

 “Piss off, I’m not!” Tetsurou growls, pushing his boyfriend away, before looking back at Shouyou. “Where did you find him?”

 “He found me actually.” Shouyou replies, “If you don’t want him…”

 “What do you mean I don’t want him!? Of course I want him!” Tetsurou quickly says, outstretching his arms, “Give him here!”

 “Okay, okay!”

 Shouyou and Koutarou watch as Tetsurou takes the little ball of fur in his hands. Needless to say, it almost disappears in them. But the cat doesn’t seem frightened, on the contrary. It sits still, looking up at the new human, not daring to play or scratch just yet.

 “Now aren’t you the most adorable thing…” Tetsurou coos, bringing the kitten closer to his face. Then, surprising the three of them, the little fluff ball raises a small paw and presses it against Tetsurou’s nose.

 No one dares to move or speak for a moment.

 “I should have taken a picture…” Koutarou whispers.

 “I have been chosen.” Tetsurou declares, making Shouyou laugh.

 “So I’m guessing…You want to keep him?”

 “I…really can’t imagine letting him go right now…Oh God, we have to feed him!”

 “And give him a bath!” Koutarou adds when Tetsurou passes him on his way to the kitchen, then turns to Shouyou to give him a quick wink.

 “How do you always manage to make people so happy?” he asks him, but Shouyou can only laugh awkwardly, toeing off his shoes.

 “You’re overreacting!”

 “You know I’m not.”

 “Guys!” Tetsurou calls from the kitchen, trying to stifle a laugh, “Come see what this little guy can do!”

 For a moment everyone forgets that they’re expecting guests and settle in the living room to play with the new addition to the family. Tetsurou’s most ecstatic, as it was expected, while Koutarou and Shouyou are simply happy because he’s happy.

 The kitten is young, Tetsurou concludes after seeing it doesn’t fancy hard foods. It’s almost like it’s taken out of a commercial, with its big toony eyes and it’s fluffy fur. And while it was an odd sight for three grown up men (well, excluding Shouyou, he could pass for a kid still) to be cooing and rolling around the carpet of the living room with a cat the size of their palms, who could really judge them? The little creature was just too cute for it’s own good.

 Oh, but it wasn’t the "Little fur ball" for long. They ended up naming him Yasu, on mister Nishizuka, the biochemist whose researches Tetsurou was using for his school work lately. But playing with their new baby couldn’t last long. Seven was nearing and the three had to get ready for a party. Though maybe Tetsurou wasn’t going to be the star of the evening now.

 Koutarou and Shouyou set the table while Tetsurou’s in the bathroom, spending some quality time in bathing his new furry son in the sink, to make him look a bit more presentable. They pour the snacks in bowls and set them out on the glass table in the living room, Koutarou gets out a reasonable amount of booze and soda. They get out the leftovers of the cake from the morning and all that was left was to wait for their humble guests to come.

 When Tetsurou returned to the living room, cradling the suddenly wiggly cat in his arms, wrapped in a white towel, and sat down on the couch beside Bokuto, Shouyou got up.

 “I’m gonna go change.” He says, heading towards his room, until Tetsurou stops him with a call of his name.

 “Hinata, come over here for a moment.” He says, almost playfully ordering him, and Shouyou walks back to the couch. What he isn’t expecting though was Tetsurou reaching up to pull him down when he gets close enough for a quick kiss. “Thanks, Shrimpy.” He quietly says, kissing him again, “You’re the best.”

 “All for you, Kuroo-san.” Shouyou honestly says and Tetsurou grins, before letting him go. And so Shouyou does, quickly turning away so his roommates don’t see the blush crawling on his face.

888 

 Koutarou walks in his room just as Shouyou’s taking off his shirt. He closes the door, cutting off the warm light from the hall outside and leaving them in darkness. The little light coming from the street lights through the window is enough to make the smile on Koutarou’s face brighter.

 “You made Tetsu really happy today,” he says with a tone of voice that makes Shouyou smile, trying hard to keep his eyes away from him, “Thank you.”

 “It was nothing.” Shouyou shook his head, feeling a blush creep up his cheeks. “It was…It needed to be done, you would’ve done it too.”

 “Yeah, but it was _you_ first!” Koutarou said, stepping closer to his roommate. Shouyou still refused to look at him, trying to hide his small, prideful smile. His fingers toyed with the denim of his jeans, desperately trying to hold onto something. Once Koutarou’s hands moved over them however, big and warm, they grew still onto his sides. “I’m not really sure you understand how happy you made him…He hasn’t been that happy in a while.”

 “I hope he keeps on being happy…”

 Shouyou’s voice comes out as a weak whisper, but it’s enough for Koutarou to hear it in the silence of the room.

 A car passes down the street under the window, the yellow lights of its headlights passing through the room. They show Koutarou Shouyou’s smile, show him the blush he’s trying to hide from him, and the sight makes his heart skip. He hadn’t felt like this towards Shouyou. Had never felt such warmth tug on his heart while he looked down at him.

 He doesn’t feel how he leans down, touching the tip of Shouyou’s nose with his, lips trembling mere breaths from each other. It’s a silent invitation and Shouyou quickly tips his head up, slotting their lips together in a sloppy kiss.

 Their tongues meet almost immediately, sliding against each other and filling the space between them with wet, sloppy sounds. Warmth pools in Shouyou’s chest and he wastes no time in lifting up his arms, wrapping them around Koutarou’s strong neck, while Koutarou’s hands dig into the back pockets of his jeans, bringing him closer with one rough tug. His signature rough handling always makes Shouyou whine, wanting more. It’s different than Tetsurou’s teasing gentleness. It’s wild and hungry and he finds himself falling in love with it all over again every time Koutarou takes him.

 He feels Koutarou tug him up again, squeezing his ass through his jeans and Shouyou doesn’t need more hints on what to do. Still keeping their lips locked, he brings himself up, using his hold on Koutarou’s neck as leverage, and with a soft jump quickly wraps his legs around his middle. A moment later, he feels the room spin and Shouyou finds himself bouncing up and down on his bed, Koutarou towering over him and almost covering him with his body.

 Their movements are fluid, coordinated. Shouyou slowly finds himself turning so he’s lying fully on his bed, head resting on his pillow, while his legs spread wide around Koutarou. Their heated make-out session ends so Koutarou could lean down and drag his saliva wet lips down Shouyou’s neck, bringing goosebumps to his skin. Quick fingers worked over his belt buckle and it wasn’t much longer before his jeans were unzipped and unbuttoned.

 Shouyou’s heart is hammering in his chest by the time Koutarou’s palms slide down the warm skin of his thighs, bringing down his jeans.

 “We shouldn’t…” he feebly utters, biting his lip, “What if Kuroo-san hears…?”

 “Then you should try to be _extra quiet_.” Koutarou answers playfully, eyes locked to Shouyou’s as he sucks an angry red mark in the hallow between his collarbones. The act as if takes the breath out of Shouyou. 

 Koutarou doesn’t strip, simply undoes his belt and hurriedly slides his own jeans down to a comfortable level while Shouyou digs in his drawer for lube and condoms. After their first time it had became a rule to always have condoms on. Shouyou had no idea who started it first, had no idea why it started, but all he knew that the thin rubber was a barrier. It reminded him just how far he was from them and how unreal their relationship was.

 Koutarou and Tetsurou never needed condoms.

 The room was again filled with bright yellow light as another car passed their building. It makes the thin film of sweat over Shouyou’s skin glow, makes the marks over his neck brighter. He’s looking up at Koutarou, wanting, trusting, loving. Koutarou isn’t sure what he sees in his own eyes, isn’t sure what kind of emotion he’s showing. All he knows is that he’s never seen Shouyou like this. This time, he takes his time to savor him, to worship him the way he deserves.

 He marvels at how small Shouyou look sunder him, how fragile and breakable he seams, before leaning down to again brush their lips together. Small hands, rough and shy fingers slide down his chest, brushing down his T-shirt, making him groan. The sound makes Shouyou whine and moan, precum pooling over his naked stomach. God knows how much he enjoys being this small under him, feeling safe to let Koutarou be as rough as he liked.

 The kiss they share is slow, so unlikely for the mood they’ve set. It leaves Shouyou surprised, really. He always expected something faster, rougher from Koutarou. Not like he’s about to complain.

 Koutarou drags his blunt nails down Shouyou’s trembling thighs and that’s all the encouragement he needs to wrap them around his waist, a happy whine escaping his lips. he reminds himself to be quiet, but his skin tingles in the thought of Tetsurou walking in, catching them in the act, but leaning back to watch his boyfriend wreck Shouyou in all the best ways he can.

 Koutarou leans up again, smiling when Shouyou’s legs tighten around him and keeping him fairly close. He’s hit with a wave of fondness for the small ball of sunshine that made Tetsurou so happy today and he can’t explain why, but his heart suddenly beats faster, warmth pools in his chest, filling him with something different than the heat of arousal.

 And it makes him happy. Just like falling in love with Tetsurou all over again, but it’s only a bit different.

 “Bokuto-san?” Shouyou’s small voice takes him out of his thoughts and Koutarou can only shake his head, wide grin present on his face, as he looks down at large brown eyes tinted with confusion.

 “Yeah?”

 “Don’t you want to…?”

 Koutarou quickly shakes his head. If there ever was a time he wanted Shouyou this much, it had to be now. At this very moment.

 He quickly tears the foil package of the condom and rolls it on slowly, hissing softly through his teeth. Biting his lip, he looks at Shouyou’s face, burning red, eyes glistering with wetness as he watched him. Koutarou isn’t much of a teaser, but he can’t help but give Shouyou a show while he can. He uncaps the lube and lets it trickle between his fingers before reaching down to give his achingly hard cock a few slow strokes.

 It almost looked like Shouyou’s mouth watered at the sight.

 They kissed again when Koutarou entered him, slowly, to appreciate the still tight heat. Whenever they had sex it was always too quick. But now, Koutarou had Shouyou all to himself and he could take his time, like he had wanted so many times before. What could he say? He was impatient when it came to Shouyou.

 A sweet moan rolled off Shouyou’s tongue and when their skin met, he had to bite his lip to keep all the little breathy sounds at bay. His fingers trembled where they grasped the back of Koutarou’s shirt, desperate to keep him as close as possible, to savor his heat.

 When Koutarou began to pull out, just as slowly and lazily, Shouyou’s breath stuttered. His teeth again dug in his lip, as he threw his head back in the pillow. Above him, Koutarou released a long breath, a deep groan rumbling in his throat.

 It doesn’t take long to build a rhythm and it takes even less for Shouyou to want to moan loud and voice his pleasure. Koutarou’s thrusting hard into him, driving him to the edge slowly but certainly. The thrusts are shallow, but deep, once every few Koutarou would drag out the movement then drive into Shouyou’s body deep and hard making him arch his back, making him pant, trying to hide the noises in the crock of his neck. His arms are wrapped tightly around Koutarou, fingers dragging up and down his broad back. His breath come out in short puffs of air and quiet whines. The louder moans and shouts are muffled either by Koutarou’s skin or silenced by his own teeth biting in his already bruised lip.

 And while he struggles with himself, Koutarou already feels close just by watching. It’s an amazing feeling to have so much power over Shouyou, especially when he remembered how innocent and naïve he was. Because no matter how many times they had sex and no matter how dirty it got (thought they did insist on keeping things vanilla when Shouyou was in the mix), he would always be their sweet baby in bed, meant to be pampered, ruined, taken apart just right by them.

 Koutarou’s fingers dug into the pillow on either side of Shouyou’s head as he too bit his lips against the possible loud sounds threatening to escape. He breathed in Shouyou’s scent, feeling dizzy to the point where everything around him was Shouyou. His sounds, his whimpers, even the creaking of the bed under them as he drove them to compilation.

 “Bokuto-san…” he heard Shouyou sweetly whimper his name, voice strained, desperate. His large wet eyes looked at him, practically begging. “Bokuto-san…I’m…I-I’m close!”

 Koutarou has to muster all his strength to keep from grinning. Instead he leans down to lap at the skin of Shouyou’s neck, biting down harshly before soothing the skin with his tongue until Shouyou has to cover his mouth with his hand, biting the back of it to keep his voice down.

 “You’re almost there, Shou…” Koutarou pants, groaning and thrusting harder into his little lover, “Come for me, baby. I want you to, come on, that’s it…”

 And just like that, Shouyou’s entire body goes rigid. He arches his back so high, Koutarou almost thinks it’ll snap, his naked chest brushing against his. Sweat clings to his skin, drops rolling down his neck and his abs, mixing with the sticky cum that splashes between them. His hips stutter against Koutarou’s sides, squeezing his middle so tight he has to stop moving. A sob escapes his lips, breath stilling, and Koutarou wonders for a moment as he watches him with wide adoring eyes if Shouyou’s ever looked so beautiful or if he’s just missed it all this time.

 When he relaxes enough and the hold on him loosens, Koutarou continues moving, chasing his own orgasm which, gladly, isn’t too far behind Shouyou’s. Waves of pleasure ripple through him as he fills the condom, buried deep inside his lover, and it’s more intense than he’s ever felt with him. What felt like forever is over in less than a few minutes, but it leaves them panting and sweaty, content, at ease.

 Shouyou’s hands slowly fall away from Koutarou, letting him lean up. His eyes are closed, body still on the crumpled sheets, but there’s a small smile playing over his lips. Seeing him so seethed and happy makes Koutarou blush. And it only gets worse when he opens his eyes, a few of the tears he’s held in for so long escaping their corners, and sliding down his still red and warm face. The look in those eyes, completely fucked out, dazed and longing almost makes him hard again. Stars are gathered in those warm eyes, no, _whole galaxies_ , and Koutarou isn’t even overreacting.

 This is different than with Tetsurou. It’s something he’s never known he needed.

 He feels Shouyou’s arms come up and around his neck again, a shy smile on his face. Koutarou can’t help but snort out a short, breathy laugh, wondering just what had gotten over him moments ago. Shouyou follows with a breathy laugh of his own, skin still tingling from the pleasure. When Koutarou nuzzles his nose with his in a gentle, loving fashion, he closes his eyes and hums absently, fingers digging into his roommate’s soft hair as he returned the gesture.

 Their lips meet in a soft, lazy kiss, before Koutarou moves away from Shouyou, leaving him cold and empty. Shouyou stays lying on the bed, watching as Koutarou runs his hands over his hair to get it back in order before getting up and fixing his clothes. His eyes travel to the still wet splotch of cum in the bottom of his shirt and Shouyou has to hide the smile behind his hand.

 “Well, we better get up and get ready!” Koutarou exclaimed leaning down to give Shouyou one last quick peck on the lips. For a moment it almost hurt to move away from him, but he quickly shook off the feeling. “Want me to help you clean up?”

 “I’ll do it myself, thanks.” Shouyou quietly replied, slowly sitting up. “Be with you in a moment.”

 “Okay.”

 Koutarou turned to walk towards the door, but he stopped. He looked back at Shouyou, who was already reaching for the tissues on his bedside table, and turned back to the bed. He took his face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him again, hard and sloppy, sighing at Shouyou’s small sound of surprise. Trapped in the darkness of the room and the heat, surrounded by the smell of sex and intimacy, Koutarou found himself not wanting to ever leave.

 “Thanks…” he muttered quietly, pulling Shouyou close in a tight hug before their kiss led to a second round, “Thanks for making Tetsu happy…You made me happy too. You’re really amazing, Shou. I mean it.”

 Hands wrap around his neck, trembling lips press butterfly kisses against his skin and Koutarou can’t find the will to tame the bubble of feelings and emotions in his chest. All he knows is that this, this something that feels so good and warm, is something bad, something not right, and he finally understands how wrong he was to blame his boyfriend.

 He finally decides that he never wants to let Shouyou go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfewwww, this fic is officially 112 pages in Word, and I'm not even close to the end o3o raaaaad!~  
> So first, I know you guys waited a lot for this, two weeks, but I hope the wait was worth it! ;) So this chapter was mostly planned so I can show some development on the BokuHina relationship and I hope I managed to do it. I'm sure it was clear enough, but Bokuto was NOT ready to give up his man, it wasn't something personal against Hinata, just that the other times they had such relationships it was all around the sex and feeling good, then they were again on their own, but with Hinata crawling under Kuroo's skin, Bo started getting more or less worried he won't be his main interest anymore and that kind of hurts. BUTTT all's good if he starts loving Hinata too, so here's the start of the feelings, when he sees it's worth loving someone who loves his boy as much as Hinata obviously does! 
> 
> Second -> the kitten scene actually happened to me once with this adorable little baby that jumped at me out of nowehre and wanted to play and just gawwwwwww x3!!!! Third: I hope you liked the happy smut in the end, I've wanted to write something like this with these two in a while, in the same setting, but a one shot and a bit more different. Guess it found a way into this fic and I hope I wont be sorry about it! ^^
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the fanart and the music from above o3o!!!


	12. Your Pain and Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ello folks~ Enjoyed the art and music? Well then, hope you enjoy another piece of amazing art, this time of the new puss Yasu, by yours truly ShinigamiKittyKat! -> http://sta.sh/0fvuwzajbi6  
> You may proceed ->

There was nothing more refreshing, nothing more fulfilling and exciting than spending late hours in practice after failing to understand the theory in class. There was nothing more relaxing than the sound of snickers rubbing against the floor of the gym, nothing more satisfying than the strain in your back and thighs and the dull ache in the knees, already sore from the kneepads around them.

 At least for Shouyou, for who lately volleyball had become the only thing he was still passionate about.

 Practice was already officially finished, but that didn’t stop him or some of his new teammates from staying behind and having fun, be it with spikes against the free net or a light game of pepper to ease their strained muscles. Shouyou was usually the last to leave and maybe some of his senpai found him annoying and saw him as the one who constantly looked for attention, thus his late staying behind everyone, but most of the starters and his coaches saw him as an enthusiastic kid with raw talent slowly shaping up into brilliant professionalism and burning passion for the game. Especially after he started putting more mind into it.

 Tonight most of his mean senpai decided to turn in early, right after practice. There actually _were_ mean senpai, much to Shouyou’s disbelief, but he had always been a positive person, so they didn’t exactly bother him. Right now he was left with people he liked and who liked him, so that’s all it really mattered.

 Turning his attention back at the ball tossed his way with a perfect arch, Shouyou ran up to it, right, left, right, then bend his knees and jumped, as high as he ever had. A jump that made people’s jaws drop. The ball collided snuggly with his palm before he swung his arm down, sending it flying to the other side of the net, right before the three meter line. When he fell back down he bended his knees, letting out a cry of victory.

 “Nice one Hinata!” the setter a few feet to his right exclaimed, clapping her hands. “I told you that you could smash it in the three meters!”

 “Great toss, Tachibana-senpai!” he answers with just as much enthusiasm, running back into position, “Give me another, I can totally bring it straight down now!”

 Tachibana laughs, turning to the ball basket beside her. Due to both teams being small in number, the girls and boys often had practice together, not like Shouyou had the guts to complain when most girls were fairly better than him in some things.

 To be fair, Tachibana’s toss is classy. Very classy.

 Tobio’s toss had been more than professional too.

 “Oi, Yamasaki-kun!” Tachibana yells at the boys playing pepper on the other side of the net, almost entirely surrounded by volleyball balls, “Toss one over here, there’s no more left in the basket!”

 The male gives her thumbs up, spikes the ball at his friend, who receives it flawlessly, and reaches to a ball near his feet. He tosses it over the net and Tachibana quickly tosses it Shouyou’s way and it isn’t long before he jumps again, every motion almost mechanical, already engraved in his body’s memory.

 This time he brings the ball straight down, but Tachibana calls out a net touch.

 

 They clean up together, take their jackets (Shouyou changes in his track suit in the changing room like every normal person, but one of his senpai decides to be a jerk and takes off his shorts right in the gym in front of Tachibana-san, but she only laughs) and close up. By the end of their practice it’s just Shouyou and three of his seniors, chatting about volleyball and school while they walk down the white lit halls of the building to the exit.

 “You sure you don’t want a ride Hinata?” Nojiri-san asks once they’re on the street, stepping towards his car, Tachibana-san at his side.

 Shouyou only shakes his head. “I take the buss and then walk, so no. Thanks for the offer!”

 He bows low, but Nojiri just waves him off.

 “You sure you don’t wanna tag along?” Yamasaki says from beside them, grinning at his junior, “We’ll go and get a snack, then we’ll drive you home! I mean, you’re missing out on me teasing Tachibana!”

 “I’m pretty sure she teases you more than you do her.” Nojiri calls him out, Yamasaki splutters, Tachibana pats her co-captain’s back and Shouyou laughs at the sight, shaking his head.

 “Thanks a lot, but I’ll pass.” He declines again, “Maybe some other time?”

 “Sure thing!” Nojiri-san finally agrees, waving again.

 Shouyou waves them off politely, watches them get in Nojiri’s car before they’re off, leaving him alone on the street to wait for his bus. The university is in a fairly central part of the neighborhood and it shows from the bright lit streets and the variety of people going on and bout, laughing, having fun.

 Shouyou manages to catch the last buss for the night and much to his expectations, it’s almost empty. He doesn’t sit near the only other passenger, rather takes a seat in front near the doors and takes out his phone, getting ready to waste his time on the bus.

 The ride to his stop is short and playing with his phone makes it even shorter. The lights slowly begin to fade, but their still bright enough to light every bit of the crowded street, buzzing with night life. The stores and restaurants with flashy bars and street stands still serving warm food are still in their early hours a street away from Shouyou’s home and charge him with new energy the moment he steps out of the bus.

 As he waits to cross the street however, Shouyou hears his name over the city sounds. Someone’s calling him, but when Shouyou looks around, there’s no one. All he sees is the mass of people…

 Until he spots someone familiar in the crowd.

 “Terushima-san!” he calls out, waving back at the male waving at him from where he’s leaning back against a pretty neat motorcycle not far from the corner where Shouyou’s standing.

 “Hey, Hinata!” Yuuji yells back, as Shouyou walks closer to him and the group around him. If he had to be honest, he was a bit unsettled by the mean appearance of Yuuji’s friends, but he was just stopping to say hi, so what trouble could it be. “Long time no see!”

 “Likewise! I haven’t seen you since that party!”

 “Man, I barely noticed you in the crowd! Where’re you coming from?”

 “Practice! And you…” Shouyou trailed off, looking over Yuuji and his company. They didn’t seem to be doing anything especially interesting, simply standing in front of a yakisoba stand and enjoying a bite.

 “Oh, you know, just hanging out.” Yuuji answered with a shrug, “Hey, d’you wanna hang around for a bit? My treat on the yakisoba!”

 “Ah, no, I should be going…” Shouyou tried to decline, but Yuuji was already waving at his friend in front of the yakisoba stand.

 “Hey, Haru! Bring one more here, I’ll pay you later!”

 “There’s really no need…”

 “Nonsense! I haven’t seen you in, like, forever! No way I’m letting you slip off!”

 Shouyou laughed awkwardly as Yuuji wrapped a hand around his shoulders and pulled him closer to introduce him to his friends. Turns out they weren’t the delinquents Shouyou had taken them for, much like Yuuji himself. Pretty soon they found their similarities and the conversation flew with ease from there. From volleyball to the next good parties in town, all the way to the best discos and the songs on the newest trap mix. At some point thought, as Shouyou ate his yakisoba, he lost track of the conversation and simply stayed beside Yuuji, leaning back against the amazing monster he called motorcycle.

 “So, Hinata, do you have a girlfriend?” Kazuma, Yuuji’s best friend, asked all of a sudden, snapping Shouyou out of his thoughts.

 “What?” he asked, feeling a blush creep over his face, “I mean, I…”

 “You made him all embarrassed.” Katsumichi, another one of Yuuji’s friends, chuckled, pocking Kazuma in the ribs, while Yuuji full out laughed.

 “A boyfriend then?” Kazuma continued, looking back at Shouyou, “Or aren’t you in a relationship at all?”

 “I guess I’m not.” Shouyou answered, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. It wasn’t entirely a lie.

 “What’s with the sudden questions?” Yuuji asked his friend while Shouyou wasn’t looking and just because of that, he didn’t catch the wink Kazuma send Yuuji’s way.

 “I should probably head home.” Shouyou said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Thanks a lot for the treat Teru.”

 “Want me to give you a ride?” Yuuji quickly asked, standing up straight, “Kuroo and Bo’s place is near anyway.”

 “Yeah, but…I don’t wanna bother you.”

 “If it was a bother, I wouldn’t be offering!” Yuuji grinned, “C’mon, hop on.”

 Shouyou’s eyes shone in excitement when Yuuji threw one leg over the motorcycle, waiting for him to get behind him. The only other thing he had rode one was a car, but maybe there really was a first time for everything.

 “Hold on tight now.” Yuuji advised, stepping on the gas and making the machine roar, “I’ll see you guys later.”

 “It was nice meeting you!” Shouyou managed to say, a bit awkwardly wrapping his arms around Yuuji’s waist. His fingers felt the other’s strong stomach through his shirt and grasped tightly onto the material when Yuuji stepped on the gas again.

 Everything came into motion so suddenly that Shouyou let out a sharp, surprised gasp. He could hear the roar of the engine and when he opened his eyes, narrowed against the wind in his face, he could see the street lights moving around him, mingling into colorful bright blotches.

 It was one amazing feeling.

 The feeling of being alive.

 When the lights started to dye out, the speed became slower. When they reached Shouyou’s building, Yuuji stopped by the sidewalk and waited for Shouyou to come to his senses before climbing off. His legs were a bit shaky when he finally stepped on the pavement, but otherwise, he was buzzing with happiness from the experience.

 “That was really great!” he exclaimed, making Yuuji grin.

 “See? And you were the one saying you didn’t want me to drive you!”

 “It would’ve been the greatest mistake!” Shouyou laughed, before looking back at Yuuji. For a moment he felt unease to be alone with him, still giddy from the ride. “So, um…Maybe I should get going?”

 “Not so fast!” Yuuji stopped him, outstretching a hand to Shouyou, “Give me your phone first.”

 “Erm, my phone? Why…?”

 “Just pass it over!”

 There wasn’t a reason for Shouyou not to trust him, so wordlessly, without further complaint, he fished the phone from his pocket and handed it over. After a bit of fumbling, Yuuji gave it back.

 “I saved my number on it!” he declared, a smug grin stretching his lips, “So we can stay in touch. By the way, Christmas’s around the corner. A friend of mine’s throwing a part for Christmas Eve, d’you wanna tag along?”

 Taken aback, Shouyou’s eyes widened. It was the first time in a while he got an invitation for a party, and this time neither Tetsurou nor Koutarou would be there. And even though he considered the offer, there was something in the back of his mind telling him to decline.

 “Well…I…”

 “If you don’t wanna it’s fine.”

 “No, no! It’ll be awesome, thanks for inviting me! I’ll call you…”

 “ _I’ll_ call you!” Yuuji promised, “We’ll have a blast! See ‘ya, Hinata!”

 Shouyou waved as Yuuji drove off and watched him disappear up the street until it got too chilly to stand outside.

888 

 Shouyou thought about his new friend’s invitation for most of the night. Truth be told, he wanted to go. He wanted to go badly. Mostly because he, albeit an open and friendly person, still had a terribly small friend group. And lately he barely went out, stuck with work and school assignments. So it would be good to spend the holidays with fun people like Teru and his gang, but then again, there would be other people there.

 And that’s where Shouyou started doubting his eagerness. The first and only party he’d gone to had left a bad taste in his mouth and now, Koutarou and Tetsurou wouldn’t be there to save his naïve ass if anything happened. And Shouyou wasn’t sure just how much he could trust Teru if something bad happened.

 When he got up in the morning his roommates were already having breakfast. He was almost shy to bring up the subject.

 “So, I met Teru yesterday…You know, Terushima?”

 “Yeah, you mentioned something.” Tetsurou nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.

 “Good ol’ Teru, we haven’t seen him in forever.” Koutarou sighed, “We should call him sometimes.”

 “Yeah, but hear me out.” Shouyou continued quickly, “So, when he dropped me off he gave me his phone number and asked me if I wanted to go to this party with him…And I don’t really know if I should.”

 “It almost feels like you’re asking us for permission!” Tetsurou laughs, almost chocking on his coffee.

 While he does, Koutarou looks back at Shouyou in mock disbelief. “No way am I letting my precious child out with those delinquents!”

 “Honey!” Tetsurou gasps, “Don’t use such long and hard words, you’re tongue will get tied up! And Shou-chan is a grown up now, he can stay past twelve!”

 “You’re seriously making fun of me?!”

 “Well,” Tetsurou begins, this time a bit more serious, albeit still smiling, “Look, it’s funny. You, a grown up young man, are asking _us_ of all people, weather you should go out and have fun. Funny thing, right?”

 “I think I constantly show you I’m not so grown up as my age lets on.”

 “He has a point.” Koutarou nods in agreement and for a moment Shouyou doesn’t know weather he should slap him over the neck for agreeing with him or agree with his own words.

 “If you wanna go, just go.” Tetsurou shrugs, “Teru’s a nice guy, I’m sure you’ll fit in his company just right. When’s the party?”

 “Christmas Eve…”

 “At whose place?”

 “I…don’t really know yet. Teru said he’ll call me today so I can tell him if I’m up for it.”

 “Well you have two options for your holidays. Either spend it eating pizza and Chinese food while watching cheesy Christmas movies on the couch with two geeks, or go and knock yourself out on a collage party with a bunch of great guys.”

 “I would choose the second option.” Koutarou answers for himself, “If we were invited. Tetsu, can you believe we weren’t invited! I didn’t even know someone was hosting a party!”

 “I’m pretty much up for a quiet Christmas Eve, thanks.”

 “Not cool, Tetsu!”

 “Plus, not everyone in Tokyo knows us.”

 “Because you insist on staying home! I’m the heart of the party!”

 “Until you get drunk and turn into a slobbering mess of emotions!”

 “I do not…!”

 “Guys!” Shouyou finally interrupted, “If Teru calls, should I say I’m going or just stay here with you? I’m serious, I have no idea what to do.”

 “Just do whatever you feel like doing.” Tetsurou says with a note of nonchalance in his voice, “If you don’t like it, then you’ll just call and one of us will pick you up. So there’s no problem anyway.”

 “You think…?” Shouyou hesitates, looking hopefully at his roommates. As if he was secretly hoping they were going to be against it, that they will make him stay home for his own good in the last second.

 “Yeah, it’s always better to spend the night out instead of at home!” Koutarou says over a laugh, stretching out his arms before returning to his breakfast.

 “Maybe you can even take this for a date?” Tetsurou winked his way, making Shouyou blush, “Maybe you’ve caught Teru’s eye, hmm?”

 “What are you talking about?” Shouyou angrily whispers, walking around the table and towards the sink. “There’s nothing like that.”

 “Hey, you know I’m just messing with you, right?”

 “…Are you?”

 “Of course!” Tetsurou laughs, reaching out to wrap an arm around Shouyou’s waist and pull him closer, albeit his protests. “Unless it’s not a joke for you?”

 “Kuroo-san!”

 “Okay, okay!” Tetsurou snorts, finally giving up on Shouyou’s wiggling and letting him go.

 “Shou, dearest, if you plan on running away with that bag of trash or let him deflower you I’ll personally hunt him down and castrate him!” Koutarou yells after him, laughing when Shouyou returns from the hall to actually slap him over the arm.

 When he finally manages to go back to his room, Shouyou’s actually wondering weather his roommates were hinting something with their jokes, but while the thought comes and goes, the feeling remains in the back of his mind, dull and nagging and sticks with him the whole day.

 Around lunch the same day Yuuji called and when Shouyou said yes, he promised to pick him up at seven sharp on the 24th.

888 

 A week before the holidays the city fell into the comfortable Christmas mood. The lights were less bothersome bright, rather warm and soft. People were a lot more cheerful too, talking about visiting family, going out with friends, spending time together, buying and exchanging gifts.

 Shouyou has something for his roommates as well, hidden securely under his bed for Christmas.

 “If anything happens and you wanna come home, just call okay?” Tetsurou warns the same night, as Shouyou’s getting ready to walk out the door. “And careful with the alcohol. I don’t wanna remind you about last time…”

 “That’s exactly why I wanted to stay here!” Shouyou whines, pulling on his jacket, “But I already told Teru I’m going…I’ll be careful I promise!”

 “Call if you wanna come home.” Tetsurou reminded again, but Shouyou was already walking out the door, waving him goodbye.

 While there was a sense of nagging anxiety still present in his mind, the excitement of spending his first holiday in the big city out with a bunch of crazy collage kids was starting to bubble up making Shouyou feel insanely good and cool. It was something that made him want to go out every week, to find his place in the group of the awesome people and make his collage years unforgettable.

 Then he remembered that not all cool kids were necessarily as good as Yuuji and that made him quickly reconsider.

 Reconsider going out as well. But maybe it was too late for that, since before he knew it, he was standing on the sidewalk in front of his building, face to face with a grinning Teru and his monster bike.

 “Hey there!” he greets with a short wave, which Shouyou quickly returns, “I thought you would chicken out in the last minute!”

 “Who? Me?!” the ginger laughs, stepping closer. He really doesn’t want to tell Yuuji how right he is. “Never! I’m all ready to go!”

 “Then hop on! The place is near anyway!”

 Like the last time he rode with Yuuji, Shouyou got behind him and quickly wrapped his arms around his waist without hesitation. It didn’t bother him anymore – he was just holding onto him so he wouldn’t fall, nothing special.

 “Hold on tight.” Yuuji mentioned just in case, much like the last time the two were in this position, before pressing the gas peddle and forcing the world into motion.

 

 When he stopped the bike in front of a shabby building near Shouyou’s university, his anxiety and worry picked up again. The realization that he was alone with Yuuji in a place that was more than unusual for him hit him like a tsunami wave, and the thought that maybe Yuuji wasn’t as trustworthy as his two caring roommates wasn’t a calming one.

 Still, he forced those fears in the back of his mind where they belonged and climbed off the motorcycle when Yuuji told him to. Again on his word, Shouyou walked towards the entrance and followed him up the stairs. The building was just as shabby inside as it looked outside and it gave Shouyou an uneasy feeling. But Yuuji’s talking helped him get through the rows of stairs without focusing too much on the terribly loud tapping of his shoes against the concrete and the slowly rising sounds of the dance music somewhere above them.

 “So whose did you say this place was?” he asks when the two stop in front of a door on the fourth floor. Music is blasting from inside along with drunken laughter and delirious screams.

 “Oh, you don’t know him.” Yuuji replays, reaching up to ring the doorbell, though Shouyou’s wondering if anyone will hear the buzzing over the cacophony inside. “Which is totally weird, ‘cause he said he knew you when I mentioned you to him a few days ago. Strange huh? I’m positive you don’t know him though. No way you’ll know such a guy.”

 Shouyou raises a brow in suspicion. “Who’s that guy…?”

 Before Yuuji can answer him, the door opens and the two come face to face with an obviously tipsy and quite happy looking read haired boy, not much taller than Yuuji.

 “Yoo! Teru, my man!” the student cheered, stepping aside to let them in after ending an oddly complex handshake with Yuuji, “I thought you weren’t coming!”

 “Yeah, right!” Yuuji laughed, stepping inside the apartment. Shouyou followed behind insecure. “You know I’m always there for the party!”

 “And who’s the shrimp?” the redhead yells over the music, sending Shouyou a narrow eyed glance.

 Shouyou’s just about to argue that he was not a shrimp, but Yuuji beat him to it. “This is my buddy Hinata!” he yelled back at the male, wrapping an arm around Shouyou’s slender shoulders, “You know, the one I told you about!”

 It didn’t seem like the other remembered being told about Shouyou, but he shrugged it off and led them inside through the crowd.

 Just like any collage party, this one was packed. The apartment already smelled of cigarette smoke, alcohol and sickly sweet fruit juice. The walls and floor shook with the beat of the dance music. Everything was a mix of sounds and scents that made Shouyou dizzy, but not in a very good way. All in all, it was slowly becoming obvious that he wouldn’t be enjoying the night the way he had imagined.

 “How about we get drinks first?” Yuuji told him, a bright, confident grin on his face. He couldn’t stay still, already leaning back and fort on his feet with the music, “Then we can sit somewhere, get something to eat too!”

 “Sounds good!” Shouyou replayed, yelling over the music.

 Yuuji was obviously no stranger to the apartment or most of the guests. He stopped not once to talk with supposed friends and introduce Shouyou on their way to the kitchen where more teens were drinking and talking. Most of them were gathered around the table where two boys were downing one shot after another, cheering them on. Yuuji cheered too for a moment, but Shouyou could only think about the hangovers they were probably going to have tomorrow.

 From his personal experience a while ago, Shouyou doesn’t quite trust Yuuji with his alcohol. So right after he mixes his drink, he waits for the right time to leave it on the table and pour himself a modest amount of juice. It isn’t because he doesn’t trust Yuuji himself, but he wasn’t taking chances with the possible headache.

 Then again, a little alcohol never hurt. Especially if there was an occasion and the mood was good.

 Or when the mood had to be better.

 So Shouyou quickly poured some leftover tonic in his cup of juice and ran off to find Yuuji, feeling like a little devil, while in fact he was a kid compared to the people around him, already drunk off their asses.

 It was obvious from the beginning that Shouyou would just be dumbly tracing after his friend all night, much like now, as he followed him into the living room. There were hardly people he knew and the little faces he recognized weren’t close enough to him so he could start a conversation. Yuuji wasn’t pushing him into anything either. He let him trail after him and introduced him to everyone he stopped by, hoping he felt at least a bit comfortable with him.

 And for a second Shouyou really was having fun, until Yuuji dragged him to the couch to introduce him to the one and only organizer of the party.

 “He’s the guy I told you about!” Yuuji explained, pulling Shouyou along with him, “He said he knew you, didn’t say where from! But he’s a nice dude overall, he plays volleyball too, so I bet you’ll like him!”

 Shouyou was sure he would when he heard the word volleyball, but then his desire to meet the other quickly vanished when he saw none other than the very familiar Oikawa sitting on the couch in the middle of the living room, chatting with the shabby guy who let them in. He looked as good as Shouyou remembered him – his hazelnut hair flawless, clothes obviously expensive yet not very flashy, enough to give him a certain simplicity that did the trick for him. The dimmed lights made his chestnut eyes seem almost dark green, large and shiny. He looked almost nice, smiling and laughing as he was, and if Shouyou didn’t know him for who he actually was, he would still be happy and excited to meet him.

 His mood completely dropped however when Yuuji continued to drag him towards the worst person he’s ever met.

 “Oikawa!” he cheerfully called, catching the brunette’s attention.

 Stunned at first, said Oikawa turned to look at them over his shoulder and quickly smiled fondly when he saw Yuuji and his not so good acquaintance Shouyou.

 “Teru-chan!” he greets back, waving a hand, “And who do I see there with you? Little Shrimpy! Haven’t seen you in a while!”

 “Yeah…” Shouyou mutters under his breath, looking down at the plastic cup in his hand. It’s already half empty and he really wonders weather he should down the rest of his drink or empty it on Oikawa’s perfect head.

 “Tetsu-chan and Kou-chan aren’t here with you I see. Why though? I was pretty sure they knew my door’s always wide open for them!”

 “They wanted to be alone on Christmas Eve, I guess.” Shouyou mumbled again, repeating himself louder when Oikawa simply tilted his head in question.

 “Oh, I wasn’t expecting anything different!” he chirped, a note of cold cruelty slipping into his voice, “There’s nothing more precious than spending such a great holiday with the one you love! Just the two of you, alone, painfully in love…”

 Shouyou could feel his eyes on him, sharp and teasing, waiting to see his reaction. The last bit of his words were completely unneeded, but of course he wouldn’t miss on the chance to strike where he knew hurt most. Especially when he knew Shouyou couldn’t make a very good comeback in his situation.

 “You say that, but look at you!” Yuuji laughed from beside him, “I don’t see Iwaizumi-san around, did you send him back to the province so you can do what you want here!”

 “Stupid Teru-chan, if I would send anyone anywhere that would definitely be this twat here!” Oikawa protested, leaning back to kick at the redhead perched on the side of the couch.

 “Well that’s just rude, Toru-kun!” the other yells, holding onto the backrest, “After all I do for you! I’m alone too!”

 “Yeah, that kind of reminds me,” Yuuji cut in, leaning against the couch, “I don’t see your Tsutomu-kun around! ‘S he with Iwaizumi-san?”

 “Tsutomu-kun…?” Shouyou raises a brow, looking at Yuuji. The name rings a bell, but he isn’t sure what it would have to do with either the redhead or Oikawa in general. He didn’t even want to ask about what Iwaizumi-san had to do with him either.

 “He’s visiting family!” the guy sitting on the armrest of the couch whines, downing his drink, “Can you believe he left me like that, can you?! It’s all because he’s too scared to introduce me to his parents, I know that’s his problem!”

 “That’s not his problems, his parents are just stuck-ups.” Oikawa corrects.

 “They’re homophobes, geez!”

 “Um…Tsutomu who?” Shouyou shyly pipes up, but it takes him another time to get noticed by the two older boys, “I mean, what’s his surname? Because I have a teammate Tsutomu who plays volley and…”

 “That’s him!” the redhead sing-songs, leaning almost off the armrest, “That’s my miracle boy! So you know him?”

 “Well…” Shouyou couldn’t say he didn’t, he did know Tsutomu Goshiki, they played on one team after all, but their relationship was stuck to being nobodies for each other and only holding each other back in practice and in games. The only difference was that Tsutomu had quickly become a regular and Shouyou was still far from it. “I kind of do.”

 “My boy’s just so sweet, isn’t he?!” Tsutomu’s obvious boyfriend (Shouyou really didn’t know how he picked up a boyfriend, but he seemed just as loony as him) bragged, “Best boy out there! Too bad his parents still expect kids from him.”

 “Adoption’s a thing, Tendou-san.” Yuuji grins.

 “Them as parents? Poor kid, it’ll grow up with a mental disorder…” Oikawa shudders at the thought, but ignores the glare Tendou sends him in favor of smiling sweetly up at his roommate, “Sato-chan! My cup is empty and maybe the snacks are almost gone, so how ‘bout you go make refills and fill up the bowls huh? Let’s be good hosts!”

 “I’ll come with you!” Yuuji volunteers and Shouyou is just about to tag along with them, preferring Tendou’s weirdness over Oikawa’s sass, but just as he’s about to go, said brunette reaches out over the backrest of the couch and grabs his arms.

“Stay here, Shrimpy!” he says with a friendly grin, “We have so many things to catch up about!”

 “I’m not sure we do.” Shouyou doesn’t fail to speak back, but quickly regrets it. Oikawa is his elder after all and he should be polite if anything, but he’s so angry at the other, he can’t help it.

 “It never hurts to try conversing!” the brunette chirps again and when he looks at Shouyou again, the look in his eyes is hard and commanding and lets Shouyou know that he has no other choice but sit down on the couch beside him.

 Oikawa seems to like seeing him so stiff and uncomfortable, going as far as to lazily rest an arm on the backrest behind Shouyou’s shoulders, as if he’s trapping him in his seat and forcing him there.

 “So how are things with Tetsu-chan and Kou-chan going along?” he teasingly asks, but Shouyou isn’t about to go red and yell in his face like Oikawa probably wants.

 “It’s really none of your business.” He says through his teeth, looking down at his empty cup. “And you and To…Kageyama-kun. I didn’t see him around…”

 At his words, Oikawa full out laughs, the sound of his voice ringing in Shouyou’s ears over the music. It makes him more uncomfortable than Oikawa’s closeness.

 “Oh, Shrimpy, how naïve of you!” he wheezes, before looking back up at Shouyou with surprising fondness. “Did you really believe Tobio-chan and me were actually…actually _dating_?”

 He laughs again when Shouyou continues to stare at him like a fish and quickly explains. “Look, Shrimpy. The thing me and Tobio-chan had…It wasn’t even a relationship. I’m _positive_ you know how it is.” He winks, “I have a very loving boyfriend, mind you. I wouldn’t change him with that little stuck-up Tobio. It was all sex because, obviously, _you_ couldn’t give him any.”

 “That’s none of your business!” Shouyou bursts out, but Oikawa isn’t amused.

 “It was all just sex.” He repeats. “And it was good one, I admit. You missed quite a lot. Then again, what I did with Tobio-chan and do with others is _none of your business_ now is it?”

 “Why are you…Why are you telling me all of that?” Shouyou shakily asks. He’s sure Oikawa dislikes him, maybe he hates him, but he’s not sure why and isn’t sure how to ask such a thing.

 No one’s ever disliked him so much and so obviously and he had no idea what to do.

 “Oh, Shrimpy, I just like those reactions of yours when I…Oh?”

 “Hinata! I brought you another drink!” Shouyou hears Yuuji call from behind him and before he can turn around to find him in the crowd, he’s already leaning over him from behind the couch, pushing another plastic cup in his hands. “Drink up and lets go dance! This song is great!”

 “And what were you doing, Toru-kun?” Tendou asks with a grin, leaning over Oikawa’s shoulder, “Not bullying the fresh meat I hope?”

 “Fresh meat…?” Shouyou stutters, Yuuji laughs and Oikawa looks up unimpressed at his roommate, leaning back into the arms that sling around his shoulders.

 “Of course not! Bullying? Me? I’m a good host after all, Sato-chan!”

 “Yeah, yeah, that you mentioned.”

 “Hinata, let’s go.” Yuuji says again, pulling Shouyou up from the couch and dragging him off. Shouyou doesn’t know weather he should be grateful that he’s saved from Oikawa and Tendou, or if he should feel uncomfortable when Yuuji pulls him close in the middle of all the sweaty and drunk teens.

 It’s even more awkward for him than he imagined it. But the alcohol is surely helping, giving him the boost of confidence needed to grind against Teru, just like he’s grinding against him, hips moving with the rhythm of the pop song playing loudly through invisible speakers and shaking up his body. If he needed to be completely honest too, Shouyou slowly began to ease into the mood, forget Oikawa and his words and fall into Teru’s wild rhythm, letting him completely rock his world.

 Yuuji didn’t disappoint. And he kept being a good friend through the entire night, assuring Shouyou to drink, keeping him safe from anyone who dared touch him or tell him anything inappropriate. At some point his behavior got a bit over protective, but sadly, that was the exact time when Shouyou’s head became too lightheaded with alcohol for him to notice what was going on around him or care either. In the back of his mind somewhere he was absolutely sure that if Oikawa had the nerve to fill his head with nonsense again, he wouldn’t be keeping as quiet and wouldn’t be as polite this time.

 “Nooo.” He whined when Yuuji pushed his yet again full cup of whatever he had mixed there at him, leaning further back against the tiled wall of the kitchen. The room was now almost empty save for them and the party was slowly coming to its prideful end. “I can’t anymore. That’s enough…”

 “You absolutely sure, Hinata?” Yuuji asked, his words almost as slurred as Shouyou’s. He had almost double the amount of alcohol Shouyou had taken through the night, but he still managed to act better than him. It wasn’t Shouyou’s fault he was a sloppy mess of a drunk.

 Shouyou nodded quickly, feeling his head heavy. “ _Positively_ sure?” Yuuji asked again, dangling the cup in front of his face. Just then did Shouyou notice how close he was and how he was practically caged against the wall by him.

 “Positive.” He mumbled, eyes falling away from Yuuji’s blurred ones to land on his lips as they continued moving, but the words were almost incomprehensible.

 “’Kay then, if you don’t want it.” Yuuji says and casually gulps down the drink. Shouyou isn’t sure where he stores it all.

 From the other corner of the kitchen there’s a soft drunken giggle and when Shouyou looks over from the corner of his eye, he spots another couple, laughing and making out sloppily against the wall. Everyone left in the apartment is far past caring who’s fucking who or who’s kissing who and where. Shouyou hadn’t seen Oikawa since their little conversation, but he had a hunch he wasn’t up to anything more different and had again found someone to replace his Iwaizumi-san.

 Then again, their relationship was something out of his business.

 “Hinata…” Yuuji’s voice took him out of his thoughts and Shouyou quickly looked back at him from the kissing couple. He’s still close, far into Shouyou’s personal space and he wonders for a moment if he should be stopping something…then he doesn’t quite know what exactly is happening at all or what he should be stopping.

 “Yes…?” he quietly asks. He feels Teru’s breath on his lips, feels the nasty smell of alcohol mixed with juice, before their lips meet.

 More giggles and sloppy noises from the couple with them and a soft “ _No, wait, not there_ …” followed by a soft laugh ring in Shouyou’s ears and it’s like he can concentrate only on that as Yuuji’s lips move smoothly against his, wet and bitter from the alcohol.

 Feeling him not responding, Yuuji ends the kiss, licking over Shouyou’s trembling lips once before looking at his wide eyes.

 Visibly shaken, Shouyou lifts his trembling fingers to his lips, face warm and red. It’s a weird feeling, being kissed so tenderly by someone else, especially Yuuji Terushima, but it leaves a pleasant buzz on his lips, a light tickle there he can’t and doesn’t want to get rid of.

 “Why…?” he hears himself saying, but isn’t sure if Yuuji does too over the music, even if it’s now considerably less loud.

 “I really like you, Hinata.” Yuuji admits, embarrassingly loud, “I’m sure you know I didn’t take you here just because you’re a good friend. More like…I was hoping it could be something like a first date?”

 “You’re kidding me…”

 “Not at all! I’m completely honest, like, I can’t get you out of my head!”

 “No, no, no…”

 “Yes, yes, yes.”

 “But…”

 “Just tell me…If I do this,” Yuuji’s voice is quieter now as he leans down, trailing sloppy and almost grossly wet kisses from Shouyou’s jaw down his neck, “Is it okay?”

 How would anyone answer to that? Maybe it wasn’t okay, no, it definitely wasn’t. Drunken sex on a Christmas party with someone you called your good friend a moment ago wasn’t something Shouyou was ready to do. He didn’t want to either. His heart beat loudly in his chest, hammering against his ribs almost painfully when he remembered he was all alone in this. He felt trapped, in danger, and all he wanted to do was push Yuuji away and run out of the apartment. And maybe that was the rational thing to do.

 But then came the need. The need to be wanted by someone, to be in the center of attention. And someone else’s attention, someone who actually wanted him and wasn’t just doing it for the sex and so he could feel better.

  _Yuuji wanted him. He liked him._

 That realization clouded Shouyou’s mind. Made his heart flutter. So far only Tobio had ever told him he liked him and wanted him and he didn’t even want to think about the false feelings he was trying to get out of his roommates. Wasn’t this why he had sex with them in the first place? To gain confidence? To feel like he could matter to someone and give him what every relationship had to have?

 This time when Teru kissed him again, Shouyou only took it, even if it still felt wrong and unsafe. They made out under the distant noise of lewd kisses and the beat of the dance music, tongues rolling over each other and saliva gathering in their mouths. Shouyou felt like gasping every time Teru’s piercing caught at his lip – it was definitely an interesting sensation of having the warmed metal on his own tongue. Not one he disliked either.

 There were hands on his waist then, fingers hooking over the loops for his belt and pulling him close to Yuuji and off the wall. When their bodies met, Shouyou let out a sharp breath.

 “I want you.” Yuuji whispered huskily and Shouyou shivered from only the starving look he was being given.

 “Then take me.” He bravely replied, feeling his throat going dry. He took the cup from Yuuji’s hand and quickly gulped down the remains of the bitter mix, throwing it away later and almost feeling the growl rumbling in the other’s chest. There was no time to feel scared now or show doubt.

 

 He didn’t remember how they crossed the halls or when Yuuji pulled him into an unfamiliar room, all he did know however was that he was soon bouncing up and down on a soft mattress of someone’s bed from the sheer force Yuuji pushed him onto it. It was new, being treated this roughly, but it was so thrilling. It made Shouyou want more. Want to be devoured, to be taken like a rag doll by someone he hardly knew. A few months ago he wouldn’t even imagine having sex like this, but now there was nothing more appealing than just that.

 They looked at each other again when Yuuji climbed over him, slow and steady like a predator. But Shouyou wasn’t backing off either, he looked up at him with defiance, waiting and provoking him to do more. They kissed again, shallow gasps and moans leaving Shouyou and filling the space in his ears that Yuuji’s grunts and growls couldn’t.

 Yuuji held him down as he undressed him, piece by piece. First his jacket, than his T-shirt and then his jeans, pushing them roughly down his thighs. And Shouyou didn’t just lay there either – with unexpected boldness fueled by the alcohol and desire, his fingers ran down Yuuji’s clothed chest and stomach, then gingerly tugged up his shirt, revealing hard muscles. Yuuji might have been lean, but he was an ex volleyball player. And it showed, so much and so good it had Shouyou drooling.

 When he took off his pants and boxers, throwing them over to the rest of their clothes covering the bed, Shouyou quickly found out he wasn’t ready to take this slow or gentle, and maybe he wasn’t willing to wait enough to prepare him like his own lovers did with pleasure. At the sight of his leaking cock, Shouyou could only gulp, heart fluttering, but this time not in the burning want that had taken over him moments ago.

 “Is this your firs time?” was all Yuuji asked, looking almost worried for a second. When Shouyou quickly shook his head though, his good ol’ confidence returned. “Well that’s a shame. Or maybe not…”

 “What about condoms…lube…?” Shouyou squeaked as Yuuji again leaned over him, trailing rough kisses over his neck and naked chest.

 “Spit’ll have to do.” Yuuji groaned impatiently, “No time for condoms.”

 “No…” Shouyou protested. He would never forget that fullness, the heat of his first time, his first and last without a condom, and he never wanted to forget it. Never wanted to forget it because it was with Koutarou and Tetsurou and he never wanted anything else taking it's place.

 The thought of them made Shouyou bite his lip so he wouldn’t moan the wrong name when Yuuji covered his skin with love bites, some rougher and sloppier than others.

 “No what?”

 “We’re not doing it without a condom.” Shouyou pressed, even though he felt silly like a whiny child. But if there was one thing he learned about sex was that if one thing wasn’t consensual, than you were better off without it. It was never a good thing when one side kept quiet for the sake of the other when he or she didn’t like something. “ _I’m_ not doing it.”

 “Oh, okay.” Yuuji groaned, leaving him to get his jeans. “Not like I’m gonna get you pregnant, geez…” he muttered under his breath while searching around in his pockets and that alone made Shouyou reconsider the situation. For a moment he wondered if this was all just sex for Yuuji and the thought stuck to him while he watched Yuuji tear the foil wrapper.

 What had he gotten himself into?

 “Want me to…?” Yuuji started, moving between Shouyou’s thighs. He trailed off however when Shouyou quickly shook his head. He knew what he was hinting at and he was positive that after all the sex he’s had in the last few weeks he would be lose enough to not need any necessary preparation. All he had wanted a few minutes ago was rough and hot sex in someone else’s bed, in someone else’s room, taken by someone other than his roommates, to show himself he could, to feel special, but now, all he wanted was to get it over with.

 “Just take me, c’mon.” he urged, writhing under Yuuji, who growled hungrily again and dove down to kiss him hard and almost painful. The rough kiss was enough to take Shouyou’s mind off his dick entering him, inch by inch, the cool rubber of the condom rubbing against his walls.

 It doesn’t get better for Shouyou after that, even with all the kisses. It never gets particularly painful, and he is hard and leaking, but that’s not enough. The wanted sex becomes another chore he quickly gets bored off, but he’s too scared to ask Yuuji to stop now. Mostly because he knows he won’t and that’ll make his heart sink. It’s good enough like this, he can take it as long as it isn’t painful. He can pretend it matters, just like he pretends with Tetsurou and Koutarou (the thought about them makes him slightly warmer inside, but then he looks up and sees Yuuji and all warmth vanishes). It’s nothing new and he fears it’ll never be any different no matter who he has sex with. So he lets himself drift off, concentrating on Yuuji’s grunts and groans and slipping in a moan or two so he wouldn’t seem completely passive. He feels each thrust deep inside, but not exactly filling, feels the slick feeling from his precum smearing over the inside of his thighs and his stomach and only wishes it’ll be all over soon so he wouldn’t throw up all the alcohol in his stomach.

 The only sign he gets when Yuuji finally comes is when his hips still against his, a long hard breath leaving his mouth. The sweat dribbling down the side of his face wets the hot skin of Shouyou’s shoulder where it's buried, his forehead leaning against it comfortingly as he rides out his orgasm.

 “That was a hell of a ride.” He says through a choked out laugh, panting, “But hey…You didn’t get to come?”

 “Leave it…” Shouyou breaths, tired and sweaty. The sheets beneath him stick uncomfortably to his skin and even though he’s too hot, he wraps his trembling arms around Yuuji’s neck.

 “Nah, come over here, I’ll give you hand…” Yuuji presses as he lays down on his side beside Shouyou, reaching to touch his still hard member, but Shouyou quickly rolls away with his back to him.

 “I said no. My head feels heavy…Just…Let’s sleep.”

 He doesn’t see, but Yuuji shrugs then, before reaching to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him closer to his chest. Shouyou feels thankful for at least that.

888

 Shouyou is grateful for the peaceful sleep he manages to get, albeit sleeping in a completely unknown bed in Toru Oikawa’s apartment. His head does hurt, but his stomach doesn’t feel as bad as last night and while terribly hungry, he doesn’t feel like throwing up. The apartment is oddly quiet, he can’t hear anything or anyone outside the closed door. The only sound loud enough for him to hear is Yuuji’s peaceful snoring. He lays beside him, now with his back to his and Shouyou’s glad, because that way it’s easier for him to get up and as quietly as possible get dressed.

 He feels like he has to leave. Like he’s done a terrible mistake and he should get away from the crime scene as soon as possible. He knows it isn’t fair towards Yuuji, even if he might have had sex for him just because he was drunk and horny, but he doesn’t have the guts to stay anymore. That’s why, after looking down at the other’s blessed out sleeping face for a while, Shouyou only leans down to kiss his cheek before he takes his jacket and walks to the door.

 When he walks out of the room and closes the door, the first thing he notices is the mess of cups and plastic wrappers and empty chips bags on the floor. Just then does he notice the people passed out in the living room, some on the couch and armchairs, others on the dirty floors. It’s almost comical, but Shouyou really isn’t the one to talk.

 After checking of all his belongings are in his pockets where they should be, he quietly heads towards the front door. every creak of the floorboards are terribly quiet in the oddly quiet apartment, which looks like a war zone after the brutal night, so when Shouyou passes through the kitchen and hears someone shuffling inside, he a bit too surprised. Thankfully though, or maybe not, it’s just the redhead from last night and Oikawa’s roommate Tendou.

 “Going home already?” he teased when he noticed Shouyou at the doorway. “No can do, you gotta stay here and help clean up.”

 “Um…I…I’m actually in a hurry.” Shouyou stuttered out, trying to find himself a reason to go. He couldn’t imagine staying any longer.

 Good thing for him was that Tendou was obviously joking, taking advantage of his nervousness.

 “Just kidding!” he sing-songs, turning towards the counter again where a bowl of cereal is already waiting for him, “Hope you had fun, shut the door on your way out.”

 Shouyou doesn’t need any more urging before he slips on his shoes and quickly walks out of the apartment, almost running down the stairs of the building. When he checks his phone it’s still early, but he hopes Tetsurou at least would be awake to come and pick him up. He did say he would come whenever Shouyou needed, be it late or early.

 That’s why he doesn’t hesitate and quickly dials his number.

 “Good morning, Kuroo-san, can you please come and pick me up.” He says as soon as Tetsurou picks up, not waiting for him to answer before adding “I think I made a mistake, so please come over quickly.”

 “Where are you?” his roommate asks. He’s sleepy, or that’s how he sounds at least, but there’s rising anxiety somewhere there and Shouyou curses himself for making him worry so early in the morning.

 “I think I’m at Oikawa’s place…You know where that is.” The question is almost like a statement. He’s sure Tetsurou knows.

 And he probably does because after assuring him he’ll be there soon, he hangs up, leaving Shouyou alone in the quiet of the Christmas morning, stuck in the winter cold in a place he doesn’t recognize.

 He doesn’t wait long for his roommate. When he sees Tetsurou’s car driving down the street towards him, Shouyou stands up off the sidewalk where he sat and barely waits for the car to stop to get in.

 “Okay, what the hell happened?” Tetsurou asks the moment Shouyou steps in the car and shuts the door. He looks like he’s just gotten out of bed, but worse than usual. His hair is a bigger mess than Shouyou’s used to, there’re dark circles under his eyes and his clothes are wrinkled, but Shouyou really doesn’t have enough mind to criticize his appearance. All that’s important is that he’s there now. “I thought you were having fun, you didn’t call last night so we thought you were okay. Did Oikawa tell you something? Who should I beat up? If that’s the case I’ll…”

 “No, no.” Shouyou quickly stops him, leaning back against his seat. “ It’s nothing like that. Well, Oikawa…-san, Oikawa-san, really said some things that could’ve been left unsaid, but…I…I made a _huge_ mistake. I’m really sorry, I…”  
 “What did you do?” Tetsurou visibly tenses when Shouyou refuses to answer in favor of biting his lip. “Hinata, tell me, what happened? Why are you so worked up? Did someone take advantage of you? What?”

 “I…I had sex with Teru.” Shouyou finally admits and Tetsurou’s face goes blank for a moment. Shouyou doesn’t let him say anything though before continuing, “He…He said he liked me, so we had sex. That’s it. That’s what happened…I…I had sex with Terushima, oh my God!”

 Saying it out loud, admitting it in front of Tetsurou of all people, makes him a lot more ashamed. Only remembering how much he wanted it last night is enough to make him want to cry, but there’s no reason to. It’s all his own fault to begin with.

 Tetsurou however keeps his calm for him too and waits patiently for him to finish.

 “It’s just that I…I _wanted_ it.” Shouyou continues, “I did it because I wanted it. But…but then I didn’t and I didn’t like it and…It was the biggest mistake in my life.”

 “There’s nothing wrong in having sex, Hinata.” Tetsurou calmly says after Shouyou falls silent. “There’s nothing wrong in one night stands either. Did Terushima hurt you or anything? I mean, did he rush, did he force you?”

 “No…” Shouyou quietly says.

 “Then what's the problem?”

 “I just…I don’t feel good about it. I just…It didn’t hurt, but I didn’t feel good either.”

 “Then that’s just not your thing. Don’t feel sorry, you haven’t done anything bad.” A smile graces his face and Tetsurou reaches out to stroke along Shouyou’s cheek. “You freaked me out, I thought something bad happened! You were just drunk and did it, nobody’s going to think any less of you.”

 Shouyou still holds lingering doubt, but that doesn’t stop him from leaning into Tetsurou’s touch. It’s the first comforting thing he’s gotten since yesterday and he takes it without a second thought.

 “I’m still worried…”

 “Don’t be!” Tetsurou laughs, pinching his cheek, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re just too sweet, other people wouldn’t think twice before fucking someone as hot as Teru on a party without even thinking about feeling guilty. So don’t think it’s something only you’ve done, everyone fuck every one on such things. Nothing new.”

 “Have you…?” Shouyou softly asks, looking up at him.

 Tetsurou only grins, reaching to start the car, “That’s how I met Kou, so yeah. I’m not exactly sorry either.”

 The engine roars and Shouyou drops the subject.

 When they get home, they spend Christmas the best way they can. And the holiday spirit makes Shouyou insanely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO HERE'S CHAPTER 12 UPLOADED RIGHT BEFORE MY NET GOES OUT TOMORROW I HOPE YOU LIKED IT I WORKED ALL DAY AND I'M SORRY IF IT SEEMS RUSHED! First: I really wanted rushed sex with Teru and Hinata, I hope you liked that part and I hope you liked that sass monster Oikawa. I'm not sure, but maybe he really wants to fuck Hinata, but hmmm.  
> Second!: Let's hear it for Tachibana Yume-chan, Nojiri Saruhiko-kun and Yamasaki Seto-kun, characters from the manga I'm working on, that took a part in the first scene of the chapter! I'll be glad if Tachibana and Nojiri get the fuck together, like, they make the best couple.  
> Third and last but very important: next Thursday, my school is going to a regional level of a volleyball inter-high. It's very important and there are amazing players that I know personally and play for our town's team. But to make the count and because she was personally invited by them because of her "good receives", guess who's going with them? Any suggestions? Anyone? THAT'S RIGHT! ME! ^^ Yours truly is making the team and going on a regional competition! I'm very pumped up and so excited, but SO freaked out and scared, like, I'm worried that I won't get to do much, but I hope my team makes it!  
> Again, I hope you liked the music and art from the last chapter and this one and I hope you liked this chapter as much as every other! ^^ Love you guys, I'm happy so many people like my work! See ya next time, cheer for me nextThursday (I probably won't get to see the new HQ chapter till late, but it'll be giving me courage the whole day and in every match probably) and hope my gymnasium wins most if not all the matches! ^3^ Thank you for reading, stay tuned for more!


	13. Finding Meaning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The playlist for this fic only grows as we add Monsta X's Hero to the list. I suggest listening to it, now you may read on ->

 Shouyou was usually an early bird. He was up with the sun and ready to take on the world every morning. The routine was always a morning jog, then a shower, then coffee and a healthy breakfast.

 When the morning just before New Year’s he woke up feeling nauseous and lacking his usual energy, he knew something was terribly wrong, and even if he didn’t know what exactly, the way he was feeling was enough to scare him.

 The whole world seemed gray from the moment he opened his eyes. The chirping of the birds and the morning traffic was too loud for his ears, though his head didn’t hurt. He didn’t feel pain anywhere to begin with, not even the muscle ache related to colds or viruses.

 Shouyou spent a good few minutes under his covers once he awoke, staring blindly at the wall and waiting for the feeling to pass, but it never did. It only dulled, giving him a false sense of security, big enough to get him out of bed. However, the morning remained different from the rest and _that_ knowledge never left Shouyou in peace.

 Gladly for him he was free the whole day. No university for the winter vacation, no work in the store and even if he did have practice, he couldn’t get the strength to go. Weirdly enough, he didn’t have the strength to move much at all. The farthest he reached was from the living room to the bathroom and from the living room to the kitchen, at least without feeling too dizzy to stand. When he told his roommates about it, Tetsurou quickly gave him vitamins and made him tea, saying it was too early for anything stronger if Shouyou wasn’t in pain or didn’t feel anything much worse than the occasional waves of nausea and the tiredness. He would be back on his feet in no time, it was just the bad weather giving him a hard time. Until then, he was in his right to laze on the couch, covered with blankets and watching TV. Tetsurou spent most of that time with him until he kissed him goodbye and left for his weekly practice in the gym.

 The quiet in the apartment was something Shouyou wasn’t used to. Usually it was either Koutarou or Tetsurou to keep him company on the rare occasions he was home during the day. But now he was alone with his thoughts and the quiet sound of the TV.

 Around lunch Shouyou dozed off, only to be woken up by the loud ring of his phone. The first thing he did was check the time before answering the call. He had slept for only half an hour.

 “Yes?” Shouyou groggily asked, sitting up on the couch. The heavy covers were still wrapped around him and he felt his clothes stick to his skin from sweat.

 “ _Hinata_!” Teru’s voice exclaimed from the other end, almost making Shouyou cringe. “ _How are you doing_?! _I called you and sent you a bunch of texts but you never answered, dude_! _What’s up_? _Got a problem_?”

 “Ah, no, no! Just…I was still sleeping, until now.”

 “ _Ah_! _Sorry I woke you then_! _Sorry_ …”

 “No, no, what is it…?”

 The two hadn’t talked since their night at Oikawa’s Christmas party, except maybe sending a few short texts (always _hey_ ’s and _how’re you doing_ ’s, followed by short answers before Shouyou turned off his phone) to stay in touch. He had no idea why Yuuji didn’t, but Shouyou was definitely scared to strike a conversation. Especially after leaving him like that the morning after Christmas Eve. Tetsurou had tried telling him that Yuuji was just that type of guy who liked having careless fun and really didn’t care if he woke up with someone beside him or not, but Shouyou wasn’t like that. That’s why it hurt so much when he imagined what Yuuji might have felt, even if he hadn’t felt anything.

 This was the first time in almost a week when he was hearing his voice.

 “ _Well I thought that we can maybe, I don’t know, go out somewhere_?” Teru asked, “ _It’s a nice day out, so why not go somewhere. Or I can drive you around, or we can hang out with the guys, whatever._ ”

 “Well…” Shouyou didn’t feel at all like saying yes, still under the pressure of his morning depression. Looking out the large window in the living room it didn’t seem like the day was very good either. Gray clouds, gray buildings, gray people. Shouyou could see nothing different, nothing exciting and nothing to get him out of home.

 “ _Come on_!” urged him Yuuji, “ _Lets hang out for a bit_! _I missed you._ ”

 Where was the lie though, or did it exist?

 “Sure.” Shouyou finally answered, “Okay, where do we meet?”

 His answer made Teru cheer before he told him where he’ll be waiting and then hanging up. Shouyou only found the strength to throw his phone on the glass table before falling back on the couch, almost exhausted.

 Yasu walks across the couch, lifting his head to look up at Shouyou curiously. He’s gotten bigger, his legs and spine have gotten longer. He paws at the edge of the couch before jumping on beside Shouyou, who runs his sweaty palm over his triangle head. Gray and white fur sticks to his skin and he almost feels like throwing up.

 “Something’s really wrong with me.” He quietly tells the cat, as it rubs against his palm, “This can’t be okay…”

 Yasu looks at him, almost as if he’s raising a brow in question. Shouyou doesn’t answer or elaborate.

888 

 He got dressed and washed his face, brushed his hair. He looked like he always did, wasn’t pale, didn’t have bags under his eyes. But Shouyou felt sick. It didn’t show, but he felt terribly sick and tired. Of everything, of himself even.

 It was something he had never felt and wanted to get rid of so desperately, but it was stuck to him like a second skin of white, clingy ash.

 Shouyou walked out and locked the door. He couldn’t call Teru and cancel now, so it was best to go through with their little meet up as quickly as possible. At least there was a chance that things between them could be normal again, after that terribly awkward sex. But maybe Yuuji had enjoyed himself?

 That _maybe_ bothered Shouyou.

 When he got the corner Teru had told him to wait at, he was already there, leaning against his bike and finishing a plastic plate of dangos. The leftover sight of the sweets and their smell in the air made Shouyou’s stomach churn. Only the presence of food near him was enough to make him feel even sicker by this point.

 “Hey!” Yuuji greeted him when he saw him, crumbling the white plastic in his hands. “Wow, don’t you look good?”

 Shouyou shook his head, managing to give a small smile, so unlike his own. “Not at all, I just…grabbed the first things I got my hands on.”

 “Then it’s just you and not the clothes.” Yuuji winked, making Shouyou laugh. An awkward and dry laugh. “C’mon, let’s get going!”

 “Where?” cautiously asked Shouyou.

 Teru threw his trash in the bin a few steps away before quickly getting back and throwing one long leg over his bike.

 “Wherever!” he exclaimed, looking back at Shouyou and waiting. That wasn’t the answer Shouyou wanted to hear though. Where was _wherever_?

 Teru raised a brow in question when Shouyou didn’t do or say anything. “Come on…Or do you have somewhere you wanna go, something you wanna do?”

 “Ah, no, sorry…” Shouyou muttered, walking closer and stiffly sitting behind Yuuji. His arms instinctively came around the other’s waist, but that didn’t seem to calm him. “I just…I’m just out of it today.”

 “If you’re not feeling good I can take you home…or to the hospital?” Yuuji questioned slowly, but Shouyou quickly shook his head. Nothing could help him, not the hospital, not home, not Teru. But being with him, being outside, was better than suffering home alone, his world tuned out by the sound of the TV.

 “ _Let’s go wherever_.” He whispered, his warm breath turning into puffs of air in front of his face.

 That was all the encouragement Yuuji needed to start his bike and step on the gas.

  

The cold wind was harsh against his face, his cheeks and nose growing red and his forehead actually starting to hurt. At some point Shouyou fully leaned against Yuuji, pressing against him when the other didn’t complain. He closed his eyes, trying not to imagine the dull gray colors around him. That, combined with the fresh air, actual eased some of the pressure and made Shouyou feel less sick.

 Just like Yuuji had said, they drove down the wide streets, seemingly aimless. He didn’t talk to Shouyou and acted as natural as ever. That put Shouyou at ease, knowing that things between them could be like they were. Friendly and natural.

 “Hey, I have some friends that wanted to meet up today.” Yuuji informed, when they stopped at a red light. His voice took Shouyou out of his thoughts and he forced himself to listen to his words too. “Wanna stop by and see them for a bit, or do you prefer driving around like this?”

 “Stop where?” Shouyou dumbly asked, “Sorry, I wasn’t listening…”

 “A few friends asked me if I wanted to hang out today.” Teru repeated, “Wanna go meat up with them?”

 “Sure…With Bobata-san and your other friends?”

 “Well, not sure if they’ll wanna tag along, but I meant some other friends.”

 “Well… Cool. I’m in, I guess.”

 “Hold on then.” Yuuji advised over a grin, “We’ll be there in seconds!”

 Shouyou wasn’t sure if he was ready for the speed, but he wasn’t ready to tell Yuuji anything in fear of ruining his fun.

 

 He’s not sure where Yuuji’s driving anymore and he tries not to think about it either. All Shouyou notices is how literally minutes after Yuuji starts driving again, he starts slowing down. When he opens his eyes and looks around, he can’t seem to recognize anything. Only the buildings seem similar to the ones in his neighborhood, but he supposed that the buildings all around Tokyo looked the same.

 There weren’t many people around due to the bad weather, so the playground Teru finally stopped by was mostly empty. Only one sharp, raspy laugh cuts through the silence and echoes through the still neighborhood, once, twice, before it dies down, turning into barely hearable snorts of amusement.

 “Hop off.” Teru gently urged waiting for Shouyou to get off from his seat behind him and stand back up on his now shaky legs, before stepping off himself. He leaves his bike by the front entrance, while Shouyou waits, nose stuck in the collar of his jacket and hands pushed in his warm pockets. Tokyo winters might lack the snow he got in Miyagi, but the cold was proof that the season could be fierce without it.

 “So who are we meeting exactly?” Shouyou quietly asked as Teru led him inside the park and playground.

 “Oh you know them, I think. I’m not really sure who’s there either, but Tendou-san said he’ll come, who else…?” he trailed off, looking up at the puffs of warm air leaving his mouth. “Dunno, we’ll see.”

 “Oh…Tendou-san. I see.” That was one of the few people he was literally afraid of meeting a second time, but right now Shouyou didn’t really have the strength to care who Teru made him hang out with.

 Yuuji’s company consisted of bad people in general. That’s what Shouyou found out in the end of their meet up, but it didn’t take long to see that most of his friend’s were only charming and nice at first. If you didn’t make enough of a good first impression, or if they simply felt like turning you into a victim, nothing could save you from them.

 That’s the impression Shouyou had of Satori Tendou, Oikawa’s roommate and friend. He was the first one he noticed when stepping closer to the little group settled around the few colorful benches near the playground. Who he didn’t expect to see with him was his teammate and rival Tsutomu Goshiki. Now, he knew Tsutomu wasn’t at all evil and never meant anyone any harm, but he became way too brave in the presence of his bad company, mainly his dear and affectionate boyfriend, who led him by the nose wherever they went and whatever they did. Or so it seemed to Shouyou after the short interaction with them.

 The next familiar faces in the group he spotted from afar were one he barely remembered, but still brought him bad memories and shivers. Namely, one Suguru Daishou, who somehow managed to bring the taste of bitter alcohol masked with the sickly sweet one of orange juice to his mouth, and his two friends, who Shouyou didn’t know by name, but remembered. He sat on the bright red bench, one leg over the other and one arm around the shoulders of a very pretty girl, tightly pressed against his warm side.

 When he sees him coming with Teru down the path, the friend that’s sitting on the bench beside him lets out a small whispered ‘ _yaiks!_ ’, turning to look away, as if in shame. No such thing comes from Suguru though, as he simply looks at Shouyou with curiosity. Or maybe he doesn’t remember at all.

 There are two other boys in the group Shouyou doesn’t know, but they seem more interested in Teru’s presence and not him. Unlike Suguru, who quickly starts whispering something to his friends, grinning coyly under his nose. His attention makes Shouyou more than uncomfortable, but it’s too late to turn around and run.

 “Hey, Teru!” one of the guys Shouyou doesn’t recognize yells, raising a hand to wave. Everyone else greets their friend, but he seems extra enthusiastic.

 “Yo, Hoshiumi!” Yuuji called back, his loud voice almost startling Shouyou. “How’s my main man doing?!”

 “Better than ever!” the other answered, standing up from the curb he had been sitting on to shake hands with Teru. “Who’s the twerp over there?” he asks then, rudely addressing Shouyou. For a moment he’s taken aback, torn between just as rudely saying he wasn’t a twerp and that they were probably the same age and politely staying quiet while Yuuji introduced him.

 He was tired already, tired of these people judging him every passing second without knowing him. Tired of Teru and his loud talking, tired of him taking him around and introducing him to people he disliked.

 He didn’t say anything, just looked down at his feet, trying to look like he hadn’t heard Hoshiumi’s question.

 “This is my buddy Hinata!” Teru happily introduced, returning to Shouyou to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

 “Hey.” Shouyou awkwardly waves. It feels weird to be introduced to people who you know and know you, maybe even Hoshiumi and the shabby looking guy beside him knew him from somewhere. Tokyo was big, but still not as big as he wished. “I guess we know each other…”

 “Oh yeah we do!” Tendou exclaimed, leaning back and fort on his feet, “Guys, this is the kid who hangs out with those Kuroo and Bokuto! You know, Toru-kun used to fuck his ex! Weird is it?!”  
 “Well…” Shouyou shakily said, feeling even more under watch as he heard stifled laughter and even more whispering amongst the friends. He felt color climb onto his cheeks and that made the entire event even more embarrassing. “That’s one way to put it…”

 “Oh, and how come?” Suguru asks over a breathy chuckle, looking at Shouyou, “I mean, how come you lost your man and aren’t taking your chance of those two idiots?”

 “Suguru, that’s disgusting.” The pretty girl beside him scolds, poking his side, “Doesn’t that Oikawa have better things to do and a boyfriend to have sex with, like come on! I mean, if you did that to me, Suguru, I’d kill you!”

 “Don’t you worry, Mika-chan, I’m always faithful.”

 “You better hope you are…”

 Suguru holds Shouyou’s gaze for a moment, eyes full of threat, so Shouyou says nothing about the dirty things he usually does at parties. Or maybe he’s changed?

 “So, Hinata, you already know Tendou-san,” Yuuji started introducing again, “This there’s my man Hoshiumi, that’s Miya-san and Daishou-san…”

 “Oh, we know each other!” Suguru sing-songed, one of his friends snickering from behind him, “We know each other very well.”

 “Well…yeah.” Teru laughs awkwardly and Shouyou sends him a short, irritated glare. He wonders if he remembers how the two actually met and how come they ended up in the same group of friends. Though Suguru did seem popular, much like Oikawa, so it was natural for him to have a bunch of friends and followers here and there that would die to hang out with him.

 “Anyway!” Teru continued, trying to lift the obvious tension, “Sakijima-san, Hiroo-kun and Mika-san, Daishou-san’s girlfriend. Now that we all know each other, how have you guys been doing?!”

 “All’s swell, all’s swell.” Tendou answered, before he started going on and on about his life and all the new things that have happened. Shouyou tried not to listen, but he couldn’t miss the way most of the group’s talking was plain gossip about poor suckers like himself. Not like he was a fan of the serious matters, but making fun at people he barely knew wasn’t his usual hobby.

 “So did you at least break up with Tobio before he started going out with Oikawa?” Atsumu Miya asks, fully nonchalant and direct. He seemed like the type to perfectly mingle with a group such as this one, the look in his eye similar to Suguru’s and the friendly grin he showed left and right beating his. Another thing Shouyou learned about him was that he and Tobio were on the same volleyball team.

 “Yeah, actually…” he started to say, until Suguru’s girlfriend dryly interrupted.

 “It’s obvious he cheated, you know?” she huffed, “Guys like that don’t like boys like Hinata-kun.”

 “Eh, and how do you know?” Satori asked next, looking at her wide eyed and curious, “I think that that kind of couple is the best kind. Obviously they had something if they dated for so long!”

 “Actually…”

 “Listen Tendou,” Mika continued, once again cutting Shouyou off, “In these kinds of relationships there’s always the one stronger side and the one weaker side who does whatever the other says. The stronger side thinks the other will be forever devoted and will never doubt them and that gives them the confidence to do what they want! It’s always that way.”

 “And where did you learn that from? The drama movies or the romance novels?”

 “I’m more interested to know which side you are.” Hiroo said from where he was leaning back against the bench behind Suguru.

 “Obviously neither!” protested Mika, “Suguru and I don’t have that type of relationship.”

 “I would rather say you’re the strong side.” Suguru winked, pulling the girl closer to his side, “Don’t go off cheating on me and crushing my small dependable self.”

 “You know I would never, but it’s obvious that this Kageyama’s been cheating since he and Hinata were in a relationship.”

 “That’s not exactly right.” Shouyou finally whispered, looking down at his feet again. He felt completely cut off from the group and even though he knew those people, even though he had Yuuji of all beside him, he felt pushed against the wall, like he kept being pushed with every word. “We broke up before he…”

 “I’m actually curious, Hinata-kun,” Miya continued, smiling coyly, “Are you dating Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san? I mean, Terushima says you’re pretty close…”

 “Ah, no!” Shouyou quickly exclaimed, shaking his head. “It’s nothing like that, we’re just roommates, because…”

 “I’ve always thought you were pretty close!” Suguru cut in and when Shouyou looked at him again, when their eyes met, he was sure. Sure that now that they had come to the point of Bokuto, Kuroo and his relationship with them, he was about to ruin him. “I’ve seen you together at movies and on walks, plus they are pretty hot, ever thought of…”

 “Suguru.” Mika warningly whispered, but her boyfriend didn’t shut up.

 “A boy like you has his needs!” Suguru laughs, “Are you looking for someone else to hook up with now, after this Kageyama guy left you? Take your chance on Bokuto and Kuroo kid, they’re always opened for such things!”

 “Hey, come on now,” Teru almost stuttered, not sure if he should interfere or not. Weather he should be on Shouyou’s side or laugh with the rest. “Kuroo-san and Bo are cool guys, so what does it matter?”

 “Oh, I remember their last love interest!” started Tendou, his voice making Shouyou drop. “It ended up so bad!”

 “And which was the last, I can’t seem to remember!” Suguru laughs again.

 “Oh, it was that time when…”

 “I don’t think they’re that type of people!” Shouyou finally snaps and it takes him a while to understand that the terrible sound echoing in the dead silence was his own voice. Not angry, not scared, just empty and wanting to end the terrible conversation.

 He hears Hoshiumi snort, while Miya also reaches up to cover up a bubbling laugh. Everyone else is staring at him in surprise, more or less shaken by his outburst. Yuuji is too and maybe he even looks worried.

 “They’re not like that at all.” He continues, narrowing his eyes at Suguru. He’s angry now, and everyone else is keeping quiet just because it shows in his voice. “…I know them. So…”

 “And why do you think they’re not just taking advantage of you?” Suguru raised a brow, looking around his group. “Everyone knows them way better here, don’t you guys? Tendou?”

 “Me?” Satori innocently asked, quickly grinning afterwards, “I sure do! Toru-kun does too…”

 “I don’t think we can trust Oikawa-san.” Tsutomu snickered from beside him, making Satori quickly shush him.   
 “See? Isumi, say something? Kouji?”

 “I agree here,” Hiroo drawled, raising a hand, “I mean, I’ve heard this and that…”

 “Everyone’s heard this and that, kid.” Hoshiumi continues for him, “It’s just how it is! You got yourself in a love triangle you shouldn’t be in! Run away while you can is my advice!”

 “Okay guys, cut it out.” Teru finally intervened, seeing Shouyou looking so lost and cornered, “Hinata has a mind of his own, he knows what to do with…”

 “All I’m saying is that,” Suguru made a pause, looking at Shouyou. His narrow eyes emitted an odd kind of emotion, one that drew you close but made you shudder, made you shiver so hard you felt it in your bones. It left Shouyou cornered and struggling to breathe as he waited for his next words. “Kuroo and Bokuto keep you around to use you. Naïve kids like you can’t survive with people like that. Hmm. Maybe there was something right in your words, Mika-chan! That thing about the weak and strong side in the relationship!”

 “Suguru…” Mika whispered, looking up at her boyfriend. A bit disappointed, a bit frightened. This relationship has a strong side too, Shouyou thinks as he turns around to run away, almost unconsciously. But it isn’t her and both know it.

 “Oho, where are you going?” he heard Satori call after him, before Yuuji was yelling his name.

 “Hinata, come back! Oh, come on! Great job guys, _thanks_!” he says before taking off after Shouyou, followed by nasty laughs.

 

 He manages to catch up to him on the very exit of the park, but even then Shouyou doesn’t stop to wait for him. He stops only when Teru forcefully grabs his arms and makes him stop.

 “What happened there? Why did you just leave like that?” he asks, a bit too aggressively. But Shouyou isn’t about to mindlessly follow his lead and admit he was wrong to leave.

 “You mean I should’ve stayed?” he slowly asks, looking up at Yuuji. Tears burned in his eyes, ones of anger. “That I should’ve stayed there and let them openly bully me and insult Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san in front of me?!”

 “They were just joking…”

 “I don’t get that kind of humor! And why didn’t you do anything?! You know what happened between me and Daishou…- _san_. Why did you make me stay there?!”

 “I didn’t know he was going to be there okay! Even if I did, how was I supposed to know it was still a problem? You shouldn’t have been so quick to run off either! Can’t you take a joke?”

 “You think _that_ was a joke?! That the things they said about me were okay? And those things about Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san, can you seriously talk to them after literally talking behind their backs?”

 “It’s not like that.” Teru hisses, fingers digging into Shouyou’s shoulders. “Can’t you take a joke…?”

 “They weren’t _joking_ and you know it.” Shouyou chokes out, feeling the pressure become too much for him to shoulder. It was like everything from the morning had been leading to this one breaking point, pushing him down with every second. “Why do I even hang out with you?! Every time we go out something like this happens! Every single time! Do you even think about how I would fit in with your friends? You know I don’t like such people!”

 “Hinata…”

 “You never think do you?! That’s why you took me to that party when you knew Oikawa was there! That’s why you brought me here today! Do you do this on purpose…? Do you hate me that much...? Is this all about that time on Christmas when I left in the morning and didn’t stay with you….”

 “That’s not it.” Teru sighed after a moment of silence. His fingers relaxed over Shouyou’s shoulders when he felt them shake with heaves and badly hidden sobs. “I…never wanted you to feel sad or left out. That’s why I took you out, not because I wanted you to be…miserable or feel like you’re not fitting in. And it’s definitely _not_ because of that time.”

 “Then _why_?”

 “Hinata, I just wanted you to meat people! I wanted you to have fun, to not feel left out! I never meant anything bad with introducing you to my friends!”

 “How can you call them your friends…”

 “Hinata.” There was obvious roughness to Teru’s voice and when Shouyou looked up at him he saw the same look in his eyes. “…I knew you weren’t going to get used to this. Daishou-san was right. You’re too…naïve. You’re not cut out for this city life, or the people here. You just can’t understand that _everyone_ talks behind _everyone’s_ back here, it’s the way things are. If you can’t learn to stand up for yourself when someone openly confronting you, then sorry, but there’s gonna be no one to protect you here!”

 “…So the same goes with sex, huh?”

 “What?”

 Shouyou shrugs off Yuuji’s hands, almost as if his touch burned him. He takes a step back, putting a notable distance between them, before looking up at the other with glossy eyes.

 “You can just have sex with whoever you want in the big city right? When you said you wanted me back then, on Christmas, did you just lie to me so we can do it? Or were you honest? Do you really like me and want me or was just sex?!”

 Yuuji looks taken aback for a moment. It’s obvious he was far from used to be confronted about such things. Maybe he really was a city boy, Shouyou thought. Used to talking behind people’s backs, having sex with whoever was willing, drinking at parties, sleeping the whole day just to live at night the best way he could.

 He isn’t the one for me, is the next thought that crosses Shouyou’s mind. But he’s already made the mistake and that knowledge settles heavily over his shoulder atop the whole mountain of problems and bad feelings.

 “Hinata…” he hears Teru whisper, gulping down an invisible lump in his throat. Shouyou can’t stand to look at him anymore, fully knowing the answer he’s thinking how to sugarcoat, so he looks away. His hands are trembling fists at his sides. He hears Yuuji shorten the distance between them until he’s a breath away. “Look at me.” He gently commands and Shouyou doesn’t know why, but he does.

 Their lips meet in a kiss and Shouyou doesn’t complain or push Yuuji away. He doesn’t have time either. The kiss is too brief and surprisingly, Teru doesn’t try to deepen it.

 “I never meant to force you into anything.” He whispers right after, voice low and reserved only for Shouyou’s ears. It feels intimate. “And I do want you. I’m sorry…if it didn’t look like that. I really like you Hinata. Do you want to stay with me?”

 “I do…” Shouyou replies just as quietly, looking at Terushima’s eyes. Their foreheads touch, cold skin meeting equally cold one and warming up under the gentle pressure.

 Yuuji’s cold fingers touch Shouyou’s burning cheeks and when they kiss again, Shouyou thinks that a bit of the weight is finally lifted.

888  

 They drove around the city until the winter light made way to the darkness, replaced with the bright city lights. Teru thoughtfully dropped Shouyou at his building and kissed him goodbye, promising to call him later. Shouyou liked the idea.

 Tetsurou and Koutarou were already at home when he opened the door and walked into the apartment. They had sent him a few texts throughout the day, asking where he was, what he was doing and with whom, to which he had replied with one or two words. It had been a hell of a day and he felt as tired as in the morning when he finally closed the door and inhaled the smell of home.

 “You took long.” Tetsurou commented when he saw Shouyou walk into the living room. He looked at him from over his shoulder, raising a brow when the ginger didn’t answer. Koutarou was sprawled on the couch with his head on his boyfriend’s lap, too busy focusing at the TV to notice Shouyou’s presence. “You okay? Not feeling sick anymore are you?”

 “A little bit.” Shouyou plainly answers, turning to stare at the TV. A rerun of a volleyball game is running, but he can’t tell which teams are playing. “I’ll go lay down a bit…Maybe I’ll turn in early.”

 “There’s take-out in the fridge.” Tetsurou says, looking at him much more suspiciously now. “I can bring some to you in your room, if you want to eat there.”

 “I don’t wanna eat at all.” Shouyou shakes his head, turning to walk back to his room. He hears Koutarou shout out something in happiness before closing the door and flopping down on his bed, finally surrounded by the oppressing dark and quiet that has been chasing him all day. Memories of the day start filling his mind, repeating themselves over and over and making him wonder. Making him think and over think his relationship with his roommates once again, even though he knew how pointless it was. That he couldn’t start doubting them after every time someone said some gossip about them. Everyone did it in the big city and it didn’t mean the things being said were always the truth.

 But when so many people said the same thing about them, could he continue believing it’s just a coincidence? Even if Tetsurou and Koutarou hadn’t hurt him directly up till now, how could he know that they never would? After all, if they were that devoted they would be still dating Akaashi-san, or Kenma, or whoever the last person with them was. Shouyou knew from the very beginning that he would be another name on their list sooner or later, admitting he loved them now would just speed up the process. Faking love seemed like the best possibility, but how could he fake it when it was a real, honest spark and when he was constantly told he was being used?

 With those thoughts his fatigue and sleepiness grew until he could barely take it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the first update after the BoKuroo week, I hope you like it! First and foremost, I've wanted to make Hinata sick from something in a while, I'm probably doing it now! Let's see how this develops, eh? A bit of movement in the TeruHina ship, I honestly don't know why I added it so long ago (I've been writing this fic since the middle of Summer 2016!), but I think I'm starting to like it again! Also, I added the nastiest possible characters in this to bully out Hinata, I mean, i know they're all mostly good kids, but aren't high schoolers and collage students a bit mean sometimes, some of them? It's not fair to idolize them, so in my opinion, Daishou, Miya and Tendou would be the type to bully, Tendou maybe not so much cause of reasons, but those two definitely. Oikawa too. So, I'm sorry, but the bitchy group will be seen a few more time maybe. Tell me in the comments if you agree and if I should add someone else with them! Also, Daishou calls his friends by first name, I just though he would, so Sakijima ISUMI and Hiroo KOUJI. Thought I should say this so it wouldn't be confusing at one part (though I'm sure most people already know Nohebi's names).


	14. Judged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a new song to the list:  
> Petya Alexa - Съдени/Sudeni/Judged   
> You may read on ->

 “ _There’s gonna be a New Year’s party at our dorm, you gotta come!!!”_

“…”

“ _I think I’ll pass, not feeling good_ ”

 

 It wasn’t entirely a lie, so Shouyou had no problem avoiding Yuuji’s invitation with it. He and Yuuji were practically going out now, even if it was unsaid, so it was normal for him to go on parties with him. But Shouyou didn’t trust Teru and that was something he could say with no shame if asked. Why he caused himself the trouble of being his boyfriend and hanging out with his friends was beyond him.

 But after their fight in the park yesterday, Yuuji had seemingly changed, softening up to Shouyou, being the cheerful and sweet person he was at first, without overdoing it. After the park he took him on a drive again, they had eaten street food and simply hung out together until it got dark. Shouyou looked foreword to more of those moments, if Teru continued acting the way he had towards him.

 How Shouyou would act was another story. When he woke up the same morning, the first thing he noticed was that he had overslept with two hours and instead of his usual half past eight, he had woken up at half past ten, with the world as gray as yesterday. Nothing hurt, nothing felt off, but in the same time he couldn’t breathe right, he couldn’t concentrate, all he wanted was to stay in bed and never get up.

 The only thing he found strength to do was answer Teru’s text. He couldn’t imagine spending a second out, especially on a New Year’s party with Yuuji, especially after he saw how wild a Christmas one could be. And it wasn’t just that. Shouyou just didn’t want to see or hear about his new found boyfriend today.

 Or maybe for the rest of the month.

 Sleeping for the rest of the day didn’t seem like a good option, especially with the city noise, so loud and ringing in Shouyou’s ears. But getting up seemed even more impossible and scary. In the end he lay in bed until Tetsurou came knocking on his door and asking if he was okay. It was about time someone asked, Shouyou thought. He was always up and about by this hour.

 “Are you gonna get up?” Tetsurou asked, finally walking in Shouyou’s room. Shouyou didn’t even look up at him from his safe blanket cocoon on the bed. “If you’re still feeling sick, I can get you something…?”

 “I’ll be there in a minute…” Shouyou groaned, still not moving. He was torn between screaming at Tetsurou to get out and leave him alone and throwing himself in his arms, grateful for his care and kindness.

 “Whatever you say.” He roommate quietly mutters before walking out and closing the door behind himself with a soft click.

 It’s already eleven by the time he drags himself out of bed. Every movement is sloppy and slow, his body feels heavy and tired. Shouyou’s never felt like this. He knows this isn’t him. But everything is so draining and sad. He’s trapped between wanting to sleep and wanting to scream in anger and sadness. All of those feelings crashing down on him leave him struggling to breathe and even more tired and even more angry at himself for not being able to stay strong and keep going without someone’s help.

 In the end he realizes he’s alone and that he needs someone there to keep him standing. Needs to be with someone because he just can’t stand to be on his own. That realization makes him furious and sick.

 Koutarou and Tetsurou are both in the kitchen and living room, spending a nice relaxing morning together. Tetsurou’s watching TV, while Koutarou’s finishing his breakfast. Both are a picture of calm couple life and Shouyou feels a bitter taste take over his mouth, a burning feeling making his heart throb.

 “Good morning, Hinata!” Koutarou exclaims, his loud voice making Shouyou cringe as he walks into the kitchen box. “What’s up? You not feeling well?”

 “Yeah.” Is the hallow reply Shouyou finds the strength to utter. He opens the fridge and takes out the carton of juice before reaching up to the cupboard for a glass.

 “Want some help with that?” Koutarou asks, standing up to dispose of his own dirty dishes. Shouyou’s already pouring juice in the glass when he sets the plate and mug in the sink.

 “I’ll do it on my own.” he says in a quiet voice. Just as he is about to turn and walk into the living room though, Koutarou decides to turn as well. They bump hard enough into each other for Shouyou to stumble back and drop the glass. It shatters into pieces on the tailed floor, sticky juices splashing against the cupboards and their feet.

 “What happened?” Tetsurou asks from the couch, turning to look at their direction.

 Koutarou panics. “Oh God, I’m sorry! Here, I’ll help…”

 “Bokuto-san, no…” Shouyou tries to say, kneeling down beside the mess along with Koutarou, who tries to pick up the glasses. His hands are only getting in his way and that makes the anger boil up. “Bokuto-san, don’t! Just let me do it!”

 Koutarou stops almost immediately, staring at Shouyou’s anger struck face as he furiously picks out the bigger pieces of the glass and sets them aside.

 “Damn it…” he mutters, fingers trembling and sticky, “Why did you have to push yourself at me, I could’ve done things on my own! Why did…”

 “Hey, hey, knock it off!” Tetsurou interferes, quickly stepping beside his shaken boyfriend. His words and tone actually startle Shouyou, shaking him out of his outburst and making him realize just who he was yelling at. When he looks at Koutarou in front of him, he looks stiff, wide eyed and startled, just as much as him. “What’s up with you just yelling like that?! As if it was just Kou’s fault…”

 “I’m sorry.” Shouyou almost whispers, getting up. His legs are almost shaking and he almost doesn’t believe the way he’s using the counter as support. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

 “Didn’t mean to what?” Tetsurou continues with the same loud and judging tone of voice. It makes Shouyou shake with guilt. “You just bumped into each other and Kou tried to help, geeze! No need to be so mad!”

 “I just don’t know what got into me, I’m sorry.” Shouyou apologized again, walking around the mess and his roommates and back to his room. The beginning of the day seemed so promising, it almost brought him to tears.

 

 Shouyou didn’t know what exactly he wanted from his roommates: first he yells at Koutarou, than he expects sympathy from Tetsurou? None of that was actually right and he knew he didn’t deserve it. Walking away and shutting his door was a final act he expected to bring him their attention, but could they know what his problem was if he didn’t tell them?

 After struggling with his guilt for the rest of the morning, Shouyou finally gathered the courage to get out of bed and face his roommates. He wasn’t sure what he expected now either – maybe questions and glares as he crossed the hall and walked back into the kitchen. But what he was met with was warm normality. Just like in the morning, but this time, he didn’t dare feel irritated or angry.

 Koutarou and Tetsurou were sitting on the couch, leaning over the coffee table and scribbling something on a sheet of paper.

 “So you finally decide to join huh?” Tetsurou teasingly asks, looking up from their work. There’s no mean hint behind his words though, only gentle playfulness topped by his signature grin. “We’re making a list for tonight. Is there anything special you want to eat?”

 “Well…no?” Shouyou trailed off, eyes still stuck to the floor, “Whatever you want is fine.”

 “And anything to drink?” Koutarou cheerfully pipes up, “I mean, Tetsu’s drinking hardcore stuff…Oh! Buy some of that fruity wine!”

 “Yeah, I can buy a bottle of that…Would you like that Hinata? The thing tastes great.”

 “Sure…And maybe juice? Something nonalcoholic.”

 “Yeah, we have that written down…Okay! Then I’ll go shopping so we can start cooking!”

 “Don’t forget to get the mochi from Kurume!” Koutarou reminds as his boyfriend stands, ready to head out.

 “Are you sure you told her to keep a bit for us?”

 “Yeah dude! She said it was fine! Her dad makes it every year.”

 “Okay then, glad we have at least that settled.”

 When Tetsurou finally walked out, Shouyou slowly walked to one of the beige armchairs beside the couch and sat down. Koutarou didn’t look at him, but it was clear he was thinking about something now that the two were alone.

 At some point, Shouyou could barely take the silence between them.

 “I’ll go take a shower.” He stiffly informed, leaving his phone on the glass coffee table. Yuuji had been texting him, but Shouyou really didn’t want to answer now.

 “Okay.” Was the short answer which met him. It almost felt like Koutarou was cautious with him.

 With a quiet sigh, Shouyou left his roommate and walked to the bathroom, hoping that the warm (or maybe cold) water would wash away his steadily rising depression.

888

 The phone buzzed and its screen lightened up almost five minutes after Shouyou closed the door to the bathroom. Now, Koutarou wasn’t usually the nosy type – he didn’t like butting in other people’s business, that included reading their texts. Yeah, he sometimes didn’t act like that with his friends or Tetsurou, but he was still decent enough to respect Shouyou privet space.

 If the phone hadn’t buzzed again only seconds later. And again after that.

 Overcome with curiosity, Koutarou reached out and took the device from the table. He unlocked it, wanting to finally see who was texting his roommate so furiously.  To his surprise, most of them, if not all, were from a Yuuji Terushima. But that wasn’t much of a surprise, Koutarou already knew Shouyou hung out with him from Tetsurou, what caught him off guard was the content.

 Hearts and kisses, cheesy pick up lines, I love you’s. And Shouyou’s responses were so accepting and natural, as if he didn’t have a problem with Teru openly flirting, he even returned it. Caught up in the conversation that’s been going on between the two, Koutarou found himself scrolling through their past messages, not minding if Shouyou walked out of the shower any minute now. With every word he read he could feel something pressing down on him like an invisible weight and he really couldn’t find the strength to leave the phone, even when it began to hurt.

 The realization that Shouyou was probably dating Terushima and who knows what more was a hard to swallow one and even if pushing Shouyou into a relationship was what both him and Tetsurou wanted to do, Koutarou found it too hard to accept.

 When Shouyou finally walked out of the bathroom, Koutarou was too slow in leaving the phone back where it was.

 “Someone was…texting you.” He awkwardly explained, seeing Shouyou’s face quickly change colors. Even the bright pink of his cheeks from the hot shower seemed to drain in seconds when he was caught red handed. “Thought I should check…”

 “Oh yeah?” Shouyou uttered, slowly walking towards the couch. The only thing covering him was the white towel around his waist, leaving way too much of his wet skin for Koutarou to look at. But suddenly all of that seemed off limits when he knew that he and Teru were most likely (or better said _definitely_ ) going out. That knowledge was frustrating. “You didn’t read through all of my texts, did you?”

 Shouyou’s small laugh made it seem like he was joking, but Koutarou couldn’t say he was very ashamed he had. Otherwise who knew when he would tell them about his affair.

 “You and Terushima, huh?”

 Shouyou didn’t answer, choosing to look down instead. His fingers tightened around his phone.

 “So…That’s why you were so edgy these days.” Koutarou continued, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

 “That’s not it.” Shouyou shook his head.

 “You should’ve told us you know? If there was a problem…Wanna talk now?”

 “…Can we not?”

 “I think it’s better if you do.”

 Pushing Shouyou into talking wasn’t going to help anyone or anything, but Koutarou wanted to know. Wanted to know if he was happy, if his relationship was going well, when had it all started, how it had started, how was Teru treating him.

 And another question he left unsaid – was Shouyou happier with him than with them.

 “There’s really nothing to say.” Shouyou began, sitting beside Koutarou on the couch. Cold water continued falling off the edges of his hair, but his skin was now dry. “We…we started dating officially yesterday, because Yuuji asked if we could and I…agreed. It’s all going well, there isn’t a problem, I’m just…I’m just not feeling well…”

 “But why?” Koutarou pressed, remembering the little episode from the morning. “Was it something we did…?”

 “No! Just…I can’t explain it. I’m tired and worried for no reason and…” Shouyou takes a deep breath, wondering weather he should confront his roommate about all the rumors going on about him and Tetsurou, but when he looks up at Koutarou’s worried and waiting eyes, he doesn’t find the strength to. “I said yes to Yuuji because I felt lonely. You have Kuroo-san and…And thank you for everything you did for me, but I wanted someone to want me like he wants you, okay? Someone only mine. Is that too bad?”

 “…It’s not bad at all.” Koutarou finally replies. Shouyou was in his right to want someone only his, like he had Tetsurou. He should have known not to get so attached. He should have known, should have taken a lesson from the other times.

 These relationships never turned out well for anyone. Why had they still done it?

 “If you love him and he treats you okay…It’s all fine.” Koutarou adds, feeling like should say something more. Like he should put Shouyou at ease with his decision.

 “Thank you.” Shouyou quietly answers.

 They look at each other for a moment, knowing there are many more things left unsaid. Koutarou’s never felt a stronger urge to kiss Shouyou than now, has never felt his fingers itch to touch him this much. And he isn’t sure if he’s imagining it or not, but for some reason Shouyou looks the same. There’s equal want in his eyes, but in the same time sadness. Because now there’s a wall between them – one known as Shouyou relationship. He’s taken now and both know it. It stops them from touching, from kissing, from being close, and it feels painful, even if both say it’s alright.

 Koutarou’s resolve is close to crumbling as he watches the sadness behind Shouyou’s eyes, but Shouyou is quick to react and end their suffering.

 “I better go get dressed.” He says, standing up.

 He’s just about to walk around the couch when Koutarou reaches out to grab his wrist. “You know that being in a relationship doesn’t change anything between us right?” he assures, watching the surprise in Shouyou’s eyes. “So if that’s what’s been worrying you, it’s all okay.”

 “Thanks, I…appreciate that.” The ginger smiled, “Sorry for this morning.”

 “I already forgot it!” Koutarou grinned.

 Letting go of Shouyou was painful, but maybe it was for the best. The question was whose best?

888

 They made dinner together to the sound of the cheerful music Koutarou had picked out. They were already nursing their first glass of alcohol – Shouyou drank some sort of sweet wine, which tasted more like cherry juice but was still dangerously alcoholic, and Koutarou and Tetsurou shared a bottle of tonic. The spirit was entirely different than the Christmas one. As the year slowly but steadily approached its end, it was time to reflect on the past events, on everything that happened up till now and all the expectations of the future year.

 There was always the promise of something better, but Shouyou really didn’t know what was better than being where he was, in his second real home, with his roommates, who were currently acting like kids, dancing in the living room and singing off-key with their glasses in hand.

 It seemed like ages since he’s had so much fun in their company. So much real, honest fun.

 “ _I hope you’re having fun_.” He texted Yuuji, sitting on the kitchen table and chewing on a piece of chips. He usually didn’t eat snacks, a habit from the times he took volleyball more seriously than anything else, but he couldn’t help stuffing his face with whatever was laid out in front of him on the table.

 The reply came a few minutes later, but Shouyou wasn’t mad, knowing where Yuuji was. “ _HELL YEAH I AM U SHULD HAVE COME TOO!_ ”

 “…”

 “ _Srry caps!_ ”

 “…”

 “ _And what r u doin???! Having fun???_ ”

 “ _Yeah, It’s great!_ ”

 “ _Too bad you r not here tho! I miss u!!!_ ”

 “ _I’ll see you tomorrow! Miss u too <3 !_”

 “...”

 “...”

 No reply followed, but Shouyou wasn’t disappointed. He had no time to be. Right after he left his phone, Tetsurou called him out to dance and he did, finally tearing himself away from the table and the snacks.

 

 It was called controlled drinking in a safe environment Tetsurou had said, filling Shouyou’s glass again. Shouyou was certain he was trying to get him drunk, being the only one close to sober now, a few minutes before midnight. Koutarou was almost asleep after all. 

 “I never knew you were like this…” Shouyou slurs, watching Koutarou snore on one of the armchairs.

 “Like what?” Tetsurou asks, voice steady, as he looks at Shouyou. There’s a playful smile on his face.

 “So… _normal_. Like…You two are so amazing…I thought that you would be all over the place, at clubs, at parties, drinking, smoking…But you’re so normal.”

 “Is that a problem?”

 “No…Not at all.”

 He liked normal and domestic, Shouyou figured as he tried to dawn the rest of his alcohol. Not just any normal and domestic, but that of this home and these people.

 “It’s almost next year.” Tetsurou calmly continues, looking somewhere ahead in the living room, maybe the wall, or the TV, or Koutarou. “Any ideas what you’ll be doing? What you want to happen?”

 “I’ll be doing what I’ve been doing up till now.” Shouyou shrugs, gulping down bitter flavored saliva, “School, volleyball…” he thinks for a moment, quietly adding and giggling at his own joke later: “You.” Thankfully, Tetsurou doesn’t hear.

 “Anything new you wanna try?”

 “I want to visit my parents…Or maybe invite my sister here for a week or two. To catch up.”

 “You miss them?”

 “A lot.”

 “It must be hard, living so far away.”

 “Yeah, just like it’s easy living so close to home…”

 The minutes tick by in the blink of an eye and Shouyou feels like the moment is oddly sentimental. So many things had happen in the past months – his breakup with Tobio, moving in with Tetsurou and Koutarou, Oikawa, Terushima, he had had sex, terribly amazing sex and more than once, not just with one person. Daishou had happened too, his gossip group there to make it worse. He had gotten drunk, went to a party or two. And that was just at the top of his memory. He had fallen in love, had felt depression on his tongue, had cried. Now he could finally turn his back on all of that and start clean with the beginning of the brand new year and even if a new year didn’t really mean a new fresh start, he could at least try.

 “Hey, it’s almost twelve!” Tetsurou exclaimed, standing up from his chair and walking into the living room to wake up his boyfriend. “Go on the balcony, we’ll be there in a sec!”

 “Okay!”

 Having been hit by a new wave of excitement, Shouyou stood up on his shaky legs and, feeling the room spin around him, made it to the hall to get his jacked before heading towards the balcony. Their cat was high on his heels.

 The air outside was cold, but everyone was gathered on the streets and on their balconies, waiting impatiently for the sky to be lightened by thousands of fireworks. No matter how old he got, Shouyou would never lose his excitement over the holidays, the Christmas food and the New Year’s fireworks, but maybe some of that was fueled by the bottle of alcohol he had consumed through the night.

 A warm arm wrapped lazily around his shoulders as he leaned against the railing. Beside him, Koutarou was smiling just as widely as him, pleasantly drunk and dazed by his sleep.

 “I love you Hinata.” He murmured, tightening his hold on Shouyou and bringing him closer. “I wanna shout it out…I love you so much Hinata!”

 “Where did that come from, Bokuto-san?” Shouyou laughed, falling against his roommate’s solid form. He smelled warm and inviting, just like always. “Quiet down, someone will hear…”

 “Let them hear!” Koutarou slurs, “I love you, Hinata…”

 Shouyou laughs again, looking up at the sky. Somewhere someone starts the count down and he hears the balcony door close behind them, but Tetsurou doesn’t interrupt their moment.

 When Shouyou looks up, he briefly wonders if Koutarou’s sober enough to really see him and not Tetsurou.

 “I’m sorry, but if I kiss you, will Teru mind?” he asks in a hushed voice, low enough so Tetsurou wouldn’t hear.

 Shouyou replies seconds later when he tips his chin up high enough so their lips could meet. It’s nothing more but a gentle brush, but it makes sparks ignite between them and fireworks shoot into the sky.

 “Can I tell you a secret?” Shouyou asks then, a giddy smile pulling on the corners of his lips, “I love you too.”

 They kiss again, this time deep and wet, completely unaware of the celebration and commotion around them. Somewhere in the middle of it Shouyou feels hands wrap around his waist and more warmth pressing against him and it’s the most perfect first seconds of his new beginning.

 It’s hard to break the kiss for long enough to go back inside, but Shouyou can say that he managed. He’s quickly manhandled onto the bed, opening his eyes just to catch a glimpse of Koutarou taking off his jacket, before he’s over him, kissing him again and again until both are dizzy and hot.

 “You horny animals, already starting without me.” Tetsurou mutters over a grin, climbing onto the bed beside Shouyou. He’s already half naked too, so what did he even mean?

 “Just get over here…” Koutarou groaned, leaning up for a moment to take of his shirt before diving down to kiss and bite at Shouyou’s neck. The kisses were sloppy and the nibbles were hard enough to hurt and make him whimper, but Shouyou was too horny and lost to feel anything but pleasure.

 Koutarou leaned up again, groaning as he fumbled with his belt. Tetsurou was there to help though, running his hands slowly down his chest and stomach, toying with the buckle before he finally undid it and continued with the buttons and zipper, making his boyfriend sigh in pleasure as the pressure on his slowly hardening member was released. Shouyou could only watch mesmerized through heavy lidded and clouded eyes as Tetsurou stripped his boyfriend, laying kisses along his back and neck in the process. When his lips reached Koutarou’s ear, he whispered something before flicking his tongue along the shell. Koutarou didn’t respond, but something dangerous did twinkle in his hazy eyes as he looked down at Shouyou. That made thrilling shivers run down the ginger’s spine and saliva gather in his mouth.

 When Koutarou kissed him again, every thought flew out of his mind. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself either – fingers slid up and down Koutarou’s chest and back, just like Koutarou’s were pulling down his jeans and underwear in a haste. Goosebumps erupted over his skin as the finger ran up to his back, caressing his sweaty skin. His legs wrapped themselves around Koutarou’s waist as he was suddenly pulled up. Their sloppy kiss never broke, tongues slid against each other, heavy breaths and wet noises filling the air between them.

 A steady pressure began forming in his lower stomach as Koutarou’s fingers lightly skimmed against his hard and leaking dick. Tetsurou was behind him in seconds, kissing along his back. Koutarou’s impatience combined with Texture’s slow gentleness drove Shouyou mad.

 Deep down he knew this was all fake and that it was wrong, doing such things when he had to be dating Teru, but Shouyou couldn’t stop himself. Dating someone else wasn’t an answer, wasn’t a way to run from his love and the problems it brought. This time he could at least pass his urges on to the alcohol. But it wasn’t like he wouldn’t have done it sober too. Koutarou’s _I love you_ ’s played in his mind and made him so happy, so warm and buzzing with need.

 “What’s so funny?” Tetsurou asked, his hot breath tickling Shouyou’s ear. He was unbuckling his belt, the metallic sound making his skin crawl, despite the breathy laughs leaving his lips and mixing with the moans. He tried muffling the noises in Koutarou’s neck, littering kisses against his shoulders while his fingers left wide red trails across his shoulders.

 “I just love you very much.” he breathed out, moaning loudly as Koutarou finally stroked him, “It’s crazy right…? That I love you.”

 “Noo…” Koutarou slurred, nuzzling his face against Shouyou’s warm neck, “Love you too, love you so much…”

 Koutarou leaned back against the headboard, pulling Shouyou along. Shouyou couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling his chest, so sweet was the lie. But there was nothing wrong with imagining that everything was alright. He felt the cool lube against his back when Tetsurou traced his fingers against his spine and Koutarou’s lips once again found his, pulling him in another deep sloppy kiss, full of bitter saliva and the scent of alcohol.

 The sounds from outside were coming as if from afar. Sweat trickled down Shouyou’s body, the sensation tickling, and when Tetsurou finally entered him, hot and bare, Shouyou felt as if his hips would give out from under him, wasn’t it for Koutarou’s hands supporting him, touching everywhere.

 With every stroke and every thrust it was becoming more and more unbearable, impossible to hold in all the breathy gasps and loud moans. Warmth spread all over him, as if a fire was burning beneath his skin. And Tetsurou and Koutarou’s touches were the things making it burn, brighter and hotter. But it didn’t stop there and the night was far from over.

 Sounds and feelings mixed together, it almost felt like he was high. Shouyou lost count of how many times he came, forgot how they did him and how much. But when in between the incredible sex Shouyou found the mind to think, he noticed that he didn’t feel empty, or lonely, like all the other times. This sex wasn’t a chore, it was something he wanted and something he got without feeling guilty. The gentleness they treated him with, the soft lingering touches and the sweet kisses, the whispered nothings…This wasn’t just sex, it was the first time they were _making love_.

 The very thought was enough to almost make Shouyou laugh again, wasn’t he too busy moaning and clinging to the bed sheets.

888

 Shouyou woke up early after only three hours of sleep. All he remembered was waking up two hours earlier and throwing up in the bathroom until Tetsurou came to bring him to bed. The uncomfortable ache in his rear and the nasty feeling of dried sweat sticking to his skin was the only reminder of their last night’s love making.

 When he opened his eyes, he was met with Tetsurou’s peaceful sleeping face and messy hair. Koutarou was nestled behind him, hugging him close like a child would his teddy bear.

 Falling back asleep wasn’t an option, but it wasn’t like he could get up either. His head hurt terribly and his stomach growled. Yawning, Shouyou looked back at Tetsurou. He was snoring softly, his hair partially covering his face, which was reddened and warm from the sleep. It made him smile and reach up to gently stroke his cheek with the back of his hand. Just then did he noticed how fresh and recharged he felt, as if the past days of weakness had been a bad dream.

 “Good morning.” He heard Tetsurou mumble, rubbing against his palm, but not opening his eyes. He still sounded dazed and sleepy.

 “Hey.” Shouyou whispered back, nestling just a bit closer to him so he could brush his lips against Tetsurou’s. It felt like such affection was finally allowed and that made him giddy with joy, despite his headache.

 “You feeling alright?” Tetsurou asked next, trying to wrap his arm around Shouyou, but Koutarou left little room for that.

 “Head hurts, hungry…Ass’s sore.”

 He felt Tetsurou smirk, before nuzzling his nose against his neck and leaving a few quick kisses. They laid like that for a moment before Tetsurou finally opened his eyes and sat up.

 “I guess it’s time to raise and shine.” He said over a yawn, looking at the clock on the bedside table. “Damn, it’s still so early…Hey, I’ll let Kou sleep in for a bit more, mind keeping him company?”

 “I can’t imagine getting up myself.” Groaned Shouyou, before trying to bring the covers tighter around himself. Tetsurou only laughed, pinching his cheek before reaching behind him to stroke his sleeping boyfriend’s hair.

 “I’ll go clean up and see if we have leftovers for breakfast.” He said, standing up from the bed and heading towards the door. Shouyou only smiled, marveling at his toned back as he stretched and those legs for miles.

 Koutarou woke up just a bit after Tetsurou left and after they took turns in the bathroom to shower and got some medicine for the raging hangovers, Tetsurou set the table with some normal breakfast and not just the snacks from last night. Shouyou’s phone was still on the table and that’s when his good mood feltered. Yuuji had texted him, more than once during the night. The night he spent fucking with his roommates. No, not fucking, not having sex, _making love_. Thinking about how he had practically cheated on the unsuspecting Teru made him feel sick.

 “ _HAPPY NEW YEARRRR <3 U LOTS!_”

 “ _Already slipiing sunshine???? Thinking of me??? Cuz im thinking of u!_ ”

 “ _Ill let u sleep then,,, gnight shoyo <3 <3 <3 ps I lov u!!_”

 Shouyou didn’t feel very hungry after reading through the texts again and he forced himself to think that Yuuji was definitely drunk while he wrote them and God knows if he meant it.

 When he left his phone down again, clearly upset, Koutarou waited until Tetsurou stood up to leave his plate at the sink before leaning towards him.

 “Can I ask something?”

 “Sure…?”

 “Is sex with Terushima better than with us?”

 When Koutarou whispered his question so his voice was covered by the sound of the running water from the sink, Shouyou felt heat creep onto his face. He didn’t try to look away though and even grinned.

 “Can I tell you a secret?” he asked instead of answering, making Koutarou nod hurriedly. “Sex with you will always be the best.”

 A flash of something Shouyou couldn’t read passed through Koutarou’s eyes before he smirked, almost as dangerously as his boyfriend. He didn’t say anything, but Shouyou was almost sure he knew what he was thinking. He hadn’t lied either.

 They continued their breakfast in blissful silence, but Shouyou had the hunch that he was living through a calm before a certain storm…  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookkaayyyy, this might have taken a while because I made a pit stop at Boku no Hero Academia along the way, picked up ultimate love for KiriKami too xD, than I might have stopped at Supernatural for a short break, Dean Winchester just might be a grown up male me, but I'm back again! First off! I hope as always that you liked the chapter! I know it's a bit late for a New Year's chapter buuuut this fic is slower than the real world so yeah. I don't think I have much to say, only excuse me for the typos! I don't make them on purpose okay! I actually know english, they aren't on purpose! xD Comments and reviews are welcomed like always! Also, who wants to scream with me over the perfection that is KirishimaxKaminari <3 :') I just need to write a fic with them, it's a MUST! 
> 
> P.S! I actually want to ask you guys, do you have any fic prompts or favorite canons and AUs?? I'm just curious what the readers like to read, so I can know what to write in the future! It's very important for the author to know what the readers like and want from him, plus it's always a challenge to please the crowd! ;)
> 
> Love all of you guys! Stay tuned for more!


	15. More

As the rest of the winter vacation passes, Shouyou notices how things slowly come back to what they were – him dating Teru behind his roommates’ backs and them slowly growing as distant as before New Years’ eve. He was definitely surprised when on their last free Saturday before the start of university Tetsurou and him engaged in a long and hot make out session which thankfully moved to the bed later on.

 With the start of school though, things went downhill just as Shouyou was gaining back his faith and hope for the better future.

 That Monday he had afternoon classes and Teru gladly drove him to his university. They hugged once there, kissed quickly to avoid any judging glares. They hadn’t seen each other in days now that Shouyou thought about it. Kissing still felt awkward now that they were officially a couple and maybe he still had double thoughts on Yuuji’s honesty, but he decided that if something bad would happen, it would be for the better.

 The weather had grown warmer as the first days of January rolled by. The little snow that had fallen around New Year had melted, leaving the streets dry and clear. Winters in Tokyo were quite softer than those in Miyagi and Shouyou really wasn’t used to it. He remembered the heavy snow back home, how he would have to get up early to clear the front yard. It was a somewhat nice childhood memory that made Shouyou nostalgic.

 The campus was buzzing with life as the ginger made his way towards the lecture hall for his first class in a week. He’s running through messily written notes on his way, but the words just won’t sink in. No one’s really in a study mood, but exams are coming up and Shouyou really is worried. That only seems to make things worse and the worry kept on taking his mind off his notes.

 Once in the large room, Shouyou tore his eyes off the pages in his hand to look for a seat. Students were sitting here and there, talking and laughing. Even though months had passed since he moved, Shouyou hadn’t made much friends to hang out with outside of school. Sure, he talked with people, he was always friendly and nice, but no one really stuck much to him. His teammates were always ready to accept them in their group, but most of them were from the big city and Shouyou sometimes felt as if he couldn’t keep up with their lifestyle. Either that or he didn’t want to try, friendliness be damned.

 Of course, as any other, Shouyou had classmates he favored more than others. They didn’t exactly hang out outside of school, but he found their company fun. His early English class he shared with his close friend Yamaguchi, who he now spotted close to the front row. Having been seen too, Shouyou saw him wave and wasted no time in crossing the room and sitting beside him.

 “How did your vacation go?” Yamaguchi asked first, as Shouyou got ready for class.

 “Well, normal,” the ginger shrugged, “How’d yours go?”

 “Oh, nothing big. Spent it with the parents.”

 Shouyou spent most of the time listening and laughing along to Yamaguchi’s stories, before finally starting to notice that something was terribly off.

 First things first, most of the eyes in the room were on him. He tried ignoring the glares, but every time he looked over his shoulders he could see at least one person averting his gaze from him. Second things second, it wasn’t just the obvious staring that got on his nerves, it was the constant whispering. It was hard to catch it over Yamaguchi’s excited voice and his own laugh, but once he did, he couldn’t stop hearing it. And every time he would look around or behind his back, the whispering would stop in favor of a few giggles and nasty snickers.

 When it started getting on his nerves, Shouyou leaned closer to Ymaguchi and interrupted his storytelling.

 “What’s up with everybody today?” he asked in a hushed whisper and saw his friend blnk in confusion once or twice.

 “What do you mean?”

 “You know what I mean!”Shouyou hissed out, looking over his shoulder again, “What’s everyone talking about that I shouldn’t know of? Do I look weird? What’s up?”

 “You’re just imagining it.”

 “No, I’m not!”

As if to prove his words, a sharp whistle interrupted their conversation.

 “Hey, Hinata!”someone called, making both look over their shoulders, “Didn’t you have a boyfriend? Don’t you think it’s time you stopped fooling around, buddy?!”

 “Yeah, or at least share yourself more!” another added over a chuckle, that made Shouyou shudder, “I can’t believe we never knew you…”

 “What do you mean by that?” Shouyou asked, feeling anger bubbling up.

 “Oh, don’t act so innocent now!” someone else gets caught up in the conversation, “We know what you’ve been up to!”

 “I still don’t understand where you’re going at…”

 “Well then, since you don’t seem to remember, how about you tell us how you slept with Oikawa-san behind Terushima’s back, hm?”

 “Oh, nice one, Akagi-san…”

 “Or, how you’re getting it on with your roommates behind everyone’s backs…”

 “Where do you know all this stuff from?!” Shouyou snaps, standing up, despite Yamaguchi’s hand shooting up to grasp his shoulder.

 “Hinata, calm down…”

 “I’m not calming down until you tell me where you know all this from!”

 “Oh, so it’s true!”

 Shouyou’s face is flaming and he stutters over an excuse, an explanation, but there’s nothing he can say, as another round of laughs fills the room.

 “Oh come on, it was obvious we were going to learn about this sooner or later! With you sleeping around with everyone…”

 “I’m not sleeping around with anyone!” Shouyou tries to defend himself again, but it’s obvious it’s pointless. “Who even told you that I…”

 “Look, buddy, it’s not just one person, it’s a lot of people!” his classmate continues, “You know, there’s no need to act all innocent, Daishou-san already told us what you do parties.”

 Another round of laughter erupts in the room and Shouyou doesn’t really know who to react. All he needs is to hear Suguru’s name right now to get the whole picture and that on it’s own is enough to have him shaking – not so much in anger as in embarrassment. How long have these rumors been around? How many people spoke behind his back without him even knowing?

 What the hell did he do to piss someone like Suguru off?

 “Hinata…?” he heard Yamaguchi’s concerned voice, “Hey, come on, they’re just messing with you.”

 “See guys! He’s not objecting to all of this! Must be true…”

 “Hey, hey, Hinata! How much to you take for a…”

 “Guys, you can cut it out now!” Yamaguchi snapped, seeing how upset his friend was. When he looked back at Shouyou, the ginger was already picking up his things, obviously holding back tears. “Hinata there’s no need to go.”

 “Did you know about all of this?” Shouyou asked in a hushed tone, shooting his friend a glare, “About these rumors…”

 “Well, I might have heard this and that, but I would never believe them! They’re just rumors like you said, Hinata…Hinata!”

 But Shouyou didn’t have time to listen. By the time he knew it, he was already sprinting out of the room and passing his professor. Even when he ran out of the building though he could still feel eyes on his back, could still hear laughter in his ears. All he wanted now was to sink in a hole somewhere and never come back up.

 Something deep down told him his social life was ruined. So much for being popular in university…

 

888

 

 When he came back home, the only place he felt safe and free to do whatever he wanted, Tetsurou and Koutarou were already out. The apartment was deadly quiet and Shouyou quickly turned on the TV before he even took off his shoes. He couldn’t stand the quiet anymore.

 He went back to the hall to take off his shoes and jacket before heading to close the curtains. It was too bright out for him now, all he wanted was to sink back in the shallow darkness he made for himself. He couldn’t believe how disappointed in himself he felt. As if days of progress had gone to waste. But progress in what, he couldn’t tell. All he knew was that he felt better. Everything was going fine. Until today.

 Shouyou had no idea what he was going to do now. His reputation was positively ruined. He couldn’t show his face on campus, couldn’t go to practice because Goshiki was there and he no doubt told the rest of the team, if he was dating Tendou-san who was one of Suguru’s closest buddies, the way he saw it. One thing would lead to another until he became a sensation, if he wasn’t already. But Shouyou couldn’t spend his life indoors. What about his exams? What about volleyball?

 He sat on the couch, staring blankly at the running TV and wondering what he should do. Trying to choose between what he wanted and what he had to do. All he wanted was to hide here forever, to never show his face in public again, but he knew he had to keep going like nothing happened and try to turn a blind eye to all the nasty rumors probably going on around him.  Oh, God, how things have turned! From being so afraid of sex that he had to break up with his first love, he had gotten to the point where everyone was talking about how wild he was in bed and at parties! He would have laughed if there was still some humor in him left…

 But things were bound to get worse. Shouyou just wasn’t expecting it still.

 Despite how he felt, he didn’t cry. When the quite emotional hour passed, Shouyou got up on shaky legs and went to the bathroom to wash his red and blotchy face. All was going to be good, he knew, all he had to do was get a grip. He just had to occupy his mind with something to forget what had happened today.

 When he returned to the living room he saw that Yamaguchi had send him a few concerned texts, but he decided not to answer for now. He knew he shouldn’t take it out on his friend, he had nothing to do with this. He just didn’t want to talk right now.

 He went to the kitchen and filled the cat’s bowl. Leaving it on the counter, Shouyou went to the bird cage hanging by the window to feed and water Koutarou’s prized friends before again taking the bowl and heading to their bedroom to seek out Yasu the cat.

 The gray ball of fur had been growing more and more with every day and Shouyou knew he would grow more. Tetsurou kept on saying how he should take him to the vet soon, but Shouyou didn’t understand such things. He walked in the room and the moment he left the bowl on the floor beside the bed, a small gray head popped out from under the bed. The cat nuzzled in his opened palm on his way out of his hiding place, before quickly attacking the bowl of food. It made Shouyou laugh, even if he was definitely not in the mood.

 Instead of going back to the living room, he chose to sit down on the spinning chair in front of Tetsurou’s desk to watch Yasu eat and possibly play with him for a bit when he was done. He had nothing better to do until his roommates came home anyway and something told him he would be taking another week off from school, until maybe the rumors lessened…Or they got worse?

 Shouyou really didn’t want to think about this, not anymore. It made him hallow inside, made him feel useless.

 His elbow catches in the somewhat opened drawer of the desk when he spins the chair and Shouyou’s brows furrow. It’s half full of papers and unused notes, it’s no wonder it won’t close fully. Sighing, Shouyou opens the drawer and takes out all the stuffed in papers. He straightens them out on the desk, tries to order them inside so they won’t tear around the edges. He’s not sure if it’s fine to rummage in Tesurou’s things like this, but maybe he won’t mind. He’s usually a very orderly person, so maybe Shouyou’s even doing him a favor by ordering all the things he hasn’t had time to take care of.

 When all the notes are laying one over another on the desk, Shouyou’s fingers dig further inside the drawer to find a paper ball stuck far behind, almost falling out the back of the drawer. No wonder it wouldn’t close, Shouyou thought. He took out the paper, straightened it out…

 His heart hurt at the sight of what was written on it.

 In big letter on top of the paper is written “Boyfriend list” and bellow there are names. Names of people he knows, most of them are even his friends. There’s Terushima there too, but it’s scribbled over, like many others. The purpose of the paper quickly becomes clear to Shouyou and he feels a pang of betrayal. Why was it in the drawer, why did his roommates have to hide it from him?

 None of that mattered now though. All that mattered was that all this time they were trying to pass him on to someone else. And that seemed so obvious. The list was proof. Why would they hide it otherwise? And all of this matchmaking had been going on behind his back since when? Were the “I love you”’s on New Year’s eve a lie? What about all those other times…? Shouyou didn’t want to remember, to think about it.

 The paper fell from his hands as he buried his paled face in his sweaty palms. He felt devastated hiccups clawing at his throat, but he tried to keep the emotions to himself again. He couldn’t allow himself weakness, not now…

 Especially when he officially had no shoulder to cry on.

 

888

 

 He thought he could confront his roommates the moment they came back home, well, turns out he couldn’t. Because he could barely believe and understand what had happened today so he could be mad, so he could accuse them. And when Shouyou saw them walk through the door together and laughing, he was in a loss of words. He wanted to scream and yell and ask about their matchmaking games, tell them about Suguru and the filth about him running from mouth to mouth around campus. But then Tetsurou and Koutarou looked so genuinely worried when he told them he came home early, way too early, and all the fight left him. His mind tried telling him that he understood all of this all wrong, no way were his roommates guilty, no way had they tried to push him onto the next.

 He still had doubts, but Tetsurou and Koutarou were still the same cool people he had met when he came, there was no way they did anything against him, no way they would.

 He still didn’t tell them about Suguru when they asked what was wrong though. Maybe some times later, he just didn’t have the strength.

 The day had just went by like this, in calm bliss. When Shouyou walked out of his room the same evening though, he saw Koutarou and Tetsurou getting ready for an outing.

“We were going to ask you if you wanted to come too.” Koutarou explained sheepishly when Shouyou asked, “But we figured you were too tired…”

“We’re going out clubbing with some friends.” Tetsurou added, already pulling on his jacket in the hall, “You can come too, if you’re up for it? You could use some fun.”

“Well…sure, just let me get dressed.” Shouyou reluctantly agreed. He wasn’t up for dancing and music, but he didn’t want to let his roommates out of his sight. He knew and remembered well how the last party they went to together went, but this would be different. This time he would know how much to drink and not pick up drinks from strangers.

 He pulled on the first clothes his fingers touched, not going for any type of look. If Shouyou was lucky tonight, he would just have a few drinks to get the blood flowing and in the morning he won’t remember anything. That’s what he subconsciously wanted right now, although it scared him how out of character it was.

 The club they went to was one Shouyou had previously heard of, from his teammates and colleagues at the university. But one thing was hearing about it, other to actually go there. The outer façade was flashy and Shouyou could hear the music from inside already as they neared it. He was starting to get second thoughts about wanting to be here all of a sudden, but Koutarou’s good mood was contagious.

 The three got out of the car, after Tetsurou and \Koutarou got in a fight about who would drive back. And when it meant that one wouldn’t have to drink, the fight got rougher until Tetsurou finally caved in. the three made their way down the sidewalk to the entrance and after showing IDs (mostly Shouyou, whose age was a bit unbelievable for the guard in front of the double doors), got inside.

 Shouyou was instantly blinded by the bright neon lights, shining in all the colors of the wind around the place. The floor was on two levels, a few shiny steps leading to the first where the dance floor was and the second being almost fully taken by a long bar along the wall. The rest of the space was taken by a few soft couches and glass tables for the tired party animals.

 Tetsurou had to pull back his boyfriend from hitting the dance floor right then and there.

 “You take Hinata to the guys and I’ll get drinks!” he yelled over the music and Koutarou quickly agreed.

 Shouyou followed after his roommate, thanking the gods that the second layer of the floor was less crowded than the first and he didn’t have to bump into anyone as he walked. But apperantly, the price for a quick walk to their table was a salty one, namely, spotting his grand inquisitor Suguru Daishou at the bar, his girlfriend on his lap and his thrusty right and left hands Tendou and Miya by his sides. Just his luck, it seemed the whole bunch had chosen quite the day to settle in the club Shouyou was in. and to his horror, just as they were passing by the bar the snake spotted him, albeit his futile tries to hide behind Koutarou, who kept on walking proudly and unsuspecting of what was going to follow. Shouyou himself didn’t know what Suguru would do, but guessing by the nasty rumors he heard about himself today, it wasn’t going to be anything good.

 And just as he had suspected, when he saw him pass, when their eyes met, something flashed in Suguru’s and he smiled. Not a friendly smile for sure. More like a knowing one, it was like he was saying “I know what’s going on and I won’t stop”. He waved the laughing Miya closer and whispered something in his ear, not tearing his eyes off Shouyou and Koutarou. Shouyou though quickly looked away and continued after his roommate, eager to lose himself in the crowd.

 What had he told Miya? About how right he was when he said Shouyou Hinaya was sleeping around with his roommates, even though he was supposed to be with Yuuji Terushima. Oh God, Teru! What if Suguru told him about tonight, what if Teru already knew about the rumors? They were in the same group after all…

 Panic began to rise in Shouyou and it refused to disappear even when they sat down with their friends on one of the fluffy couches, even when Tetsurou brought them their drinks. He even felt sour when he found out his had a lot more juice in it than alcohol and if he wasn’t so scared of going to the bar alone, he would have went to get himself something hard to knock him out for the rest of the night and rid him of his shame.

 He sat there, curled into his own ball of insecurities and tried to look as normal as possible, talking with their friends (Tetsurou and Koutarou’s friends, but it wasn’t like he felt isolated in the group), downing drink after drink and every time making Tetsurou bring him something with much more alcohol. When he refused to get up and dance though, the only fairly sober person on their table pulled him up and dragged him into the hall leading to the toilets, where they could hear each other without needing to yell.

 “You’re acting weird and I want to know why.” Tetsurou informed him and Shouyou suddenly felt pressed against the wall. As if he didn’t know, as if he was clueless to what had made him feel like this, as if he wasn’t part of the problem... “I won’t bring you anymore alcohol too, just so you know. Did you get in a fight with Teru, saw someone in the crowd, what?”

 “It’s nothing like that, I’m just not in a very good mood.” Shouyou tried to hide behind the explanation, but Tetsurou was too smart, he could read him too well to let it slip.

 “I’m not buying it you know, so you better tell me the truth before we go out there.”

 “This is the truth.”

 “No, it’s not.”

 “How could you know?”

 “I just do, Hinata. So just spill it.”

 Shouyou really wanted to tell him, to explain even if he was ashamed that Suguru was ruining his life, but if he told him, he was sure Tetsurou would break his nose. The feelings between them weren’t the warmest, even without Shouyou between them. And with him in the middle of the fight, the temperatures would drop bellow -50.

 He bit his lip under Tetsuoru’s insistent glare. “It’s not that big of a deal, just…I saw Daishou at the bar…”

 “Did he tell you anything?” Tetsurou frowned and Shouyou quickly back-peddled.

 “No! No, just…It’s nothing, really!”

 “I’m not going to press the issue, but if that guy told you anything…”

 “No, no, nothing like that, it just made me nervous…”

 “There’s nothing to be nervous of! We’ll beat his ass if he tries anything.”

 To Shouyou’s luck, Tetsurou really did drop the subject. He stroked down his arms comfortingly, took his hand and led him back to their table, while Shouyou wondered how he could let go of his hand without him noticing anything strange. If Suguru saw them like this, if he told Teru…

 Shouyou’s mood didn’t change much, but he did agree to dance once or twice, to make his friends happy and less suspicious, even if he was constantly on the watch for Suguru and his buddies. Though maybe they had left, yeah, that thought made him feel better to a point. As the night went on, as he drank more and more, he felt himself forgetting the problems of the day and even about Tetsurou and Koutarou’s joke with the matchmaking list.

 And when the fairly drunk Koutarou grabbed him on the dance floor, when he kissed him, Shouyou forgot about everything. There was no way these people had made fun of him, not when he needed them so much. He even forgot about the paranoia.

 He barely remembered what happened after that, but it felt good. He felt good and that was enough for his stressed mind. Shouyou was again dragged into the darkened hall, laughing and gasping when Koutarou kissed him, wet and hot and deep.

 It didn’t go far, just fingers up shirts, down pants, warm palms against heated skin and feverish kisses. There was the silent promise of more at home, before they were interrupted. And God was it uncomfortable to go back a mess to a whole company. That was the least of Shouyou’s problems though. It wasn’t his friends he was ashamed to go back to.

 His greatest fears came true when he walked out of the hall and into the lights of the club. His eyes darted to the bar, where he saw Suguru and his bunch sitting at the stools and while a few minutes ago they were minding their own business, now the snake himself had his phone up, snapping pictures of Shouyou – messy and holding onto Koutarou, who in turn still had his hand lodged in his back pocket, secure over his ass.

 His eyes were glimmering with mischief when he raised a hand to wave at Shouyou, who instantly went pale.

 No way was he getting out of talking to Teru about this if Suguru did – and oh, would he – show him those embarrassing photos. All Shouyou could think about was getting out of there before something happened. His poor heart was pumping like it wanted out of his chest and fast and his brain had short-circuited after all that hot pleasure from minutes ago and the ice-cold terror washing over him now like a surprise cold shower.

 

 After that it was like a movie. He was running past people, hearing someone yell out his name. Than he was out, tears stinging at his eyes. He kept on running, small and confused, then he heard the honking of a car and the squeal of tires against the wet pavement. He saw sharp light and the oddest feeling came to him.

 Relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry people for ending this in such a stupid and rushed way, but I've already said times and times in the comments that I'm leaving this fic with a summarised end that you'll get in the next chapter so I can wrap it up finally and concentrate on my original work. I'm making future people, literature future! You do want to see my awesome writing in book format, no? ;) xD joke aside, I don't think I'll be posting fics for...a long time. And I'm sorry for ending this one like I do, but it's better than keeping you waiting or putting it on hiatus, yes? Though, for the sake of everyone, I'm going to give some of you who arent happy with the end the chance to maybe...rewrite it? Make it richer you know, better? If only there are people like that, if not it's cool, if yes, we have to talk first, yes? Yes. So...I'm happy to have met all of you regular readers and fans and I'm happy this fic, which was my first sexual romance, got so much recognition! Thanks for all the love for the best pairing ever! See y aaround kids, in the far future you'll be seeing a lot fo new pairings and fandoms from me ;) Sex and action and love and horror, be ready and expecting, cause my carrier is just starting!   
>  Toodles!


	16. Dear home

  _February 1 st, 2017, Tokyo_

_Dear Natsu,_

_I know we haven’t talked in a long while and maybe I promised to come and see your tournament this spring, but I don’t think I’ll be making it. A lot of things happened here, you won’t believe it. I’m oddly fine, after what happened about two weeks ago. Things are going good too, surprisingly. But let me tell you everything from the start. I can’t really call you, so writing an e-mail is the next best thing. At least I won’t waste my breath with all of this because you really won’t believe me when I tell you…_

_So you know my roommates right? Yes, those great guys, we had an affair. It was good, too good. Mostly because they were in a relationship and kind of…took me on the both for kicks? Yeah, I’m pathetic, I know, but it was what I needed after Tobio. Anyway, it was great for a few months, than I met this guy, we started dating and the other things…I feel awkward telling you this, but I need you to catch my drift here! We had some good times with him too, but I was already in love, yeah, you know with who. I think I was a bit depressed around the holidays, but that passed quick. After that came this other guy, he was a bit…no A LOT of a bully and obviously liked tormenting me. He spread rumors…that I was laying down with everyone, yeah, ME of all people. But a lot of people believed and just when I was scared Teru, the other guy, the one I was officially dating, will find out, this bully guy takes pictures of me and this one roommate of mine kissing! In public! I was in big trouble, I had no idea what to do! So I ran, naturally. About that time I got hit by a car, but I’M OKAY!!! Tell mom that, or don’t tell her anything at all! It’s better if she doesn’t know. I wasn’t injured seriously, just hit my head and broke my arm, nothing big, I’m all alright now._

_So I wake up in the hospital and Kuroo-san, my OTHER roommate, not the one I was making out with, is beside my bed and he looks…sad. I mean devastated and worried! But I’m so fucking mad at him in the moment, cause he knows that I know about him and Bokuto-san trying to hook me up with someone the whole time, can you believe it?! Without even asking me or anything, no, they just decide to pass me on to someone! So we have a fight then and there, he yells, I yell. He accuses me of not understanding and I say I never wanted their pity, and the likes…It was damn stressing. So Kuroo-san walks out, I mean – he damn storms out the room! Then Bokuto-san comes in, says they were both sorry and explains. I mean – really explains, that they just didn’t want to brake my feelings, because they felt like they wouldn’t be able to offer me much if our relationship turned official. He said that they gave up the list though and finding me someone else because…well, as cheesy as it sounds, they felt uncomfortable and jealous because…oh, you get it don’t you! Cause they…fell for me…and damn I felt so bad for yelling at Kuroo-san!_

_That’s the majority of it. Next thing I know, Kuroo-san’s back, we literally kiss and make up and I’m so HAPPY, I don’t care I’m in the hospital anymore! I call Teru and tell him everything. Don’t know how he takes it and it might sound mean, but I don’t really care. Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san take care of Daishou, the bad guy in their own way. He never really bothered me after that and the rumors might have stopped spreading, but I still catch his mean looks around campus. I’m already out of hospital and back to school…_

_So me and the guys…we’re happy right now. I guess the heart wanted what it did. Me and Teru weren’t meant to be, he’s actually with someone else now. I wouldn’t be able to hold down a relationship ever with those feelings for Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san anyway. We understood that a bit too late and put all our cards out on the table, so to say. We straightened everything up, well, as straight as things can get between us! LOL. It’s all good. God, it’s so good to be in love! To be able to show it without being ashamed, to kiss any time of the day to hug and everything else! Things are only gonna get better from now on, I feel it. So maybe I won’t be able to come visit soon, but I’ll be glad if you could take some time off volleyball and come visit yourself! We’ll be happy to have you and won’t you be happy to see THE Bokuto Koutarou in the flesh!!! He made it into the national team this week *wink wink*._

_Things here are going great, how are you and mom? Send news soon!_

_Love, big brother Shouyou!_

_P.S. You don’t have a boyfriend yet do you? Cause if you do, I’ll kick his ass!_

 


	17. IMPORTANT NOTICE!

IMPORTANT NOTICE!

PLEASE READ!

 

 HELLO GUYS! I am sorry to disappoint, but this isn't an update on the story, it's only a cry for help! Let me explain - I am looking for proofreaders. 

 1) I recently found this amazing site, Smashowrds, which allows you to post original fiction for free and that fiction automatically turns into an actuall eBook, which people can buy for a certain price, between 1 and 9$. I am not very informed but from what I understand the site also gives you a certain amount of payment for publishing. It's like actually publishing a book, but for free - quick and easy and with amazing benefits. 

 2) As most of you know, I ended this fanfiction to start work on an original novel, which I originally planned to publish in my own language some day when it was finished, but now, with this amazing option, I decided to do something else - translate and finish it in english and publish it through Smashwords. And now comes the hard part...

 3) I may know my English, but there are things every author misses, be it grammar or the most annoying - spelling and missuse of words. And because I will be quite busy with the initial writing of the book, I'll need someone who can proofread it after. I know it is a tough job, it takes time and devotion, also knowledge on the language in places I may be lacking. And because I don't really know who else to turn to, I decided to post this plea for help and turn to you, readers who understood and liked my style. 

 4) What I need is someone who has time to spare and read the first part of a book series when it's done, or read every chapter after I have it done, however you're okay with. The work is completelly fictional, having a bit of every ganre, mostly being a paranormal horror mystery, which shows the life of a young paranormal investigator, as he strugles with fitting in his large family and discovers the joys of having them by his side while hunting down a powerfull demon known as just the Man. The real identity of the villain along with what actually happens outside of the main characters' perspective is shown in the other parts of the series, which I have loosely based on the paranormal show "A Haunting", which any of you can check out if you are interested in the ganre. 

 5) I will be the happiest person alive if someone decides to help me! Of course I will give you credit and maybe part of the money the book might earn, though be ready to get nothing, like me! I know it's hard to devote your time with no actual benefit, aside from the obvious credit on the front page, but please, be a person and help this author wanna-be out! If you are interested in seeing some other work of mine, which isn't fanfiction, please leave a comment and we can discuss this over e-mail! Either that, or you can directly send a message to jennykonstantinova5@gmail.com! 

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR TIME!

P.S. More than one person can be a proofreader.

Not that I don't trust only one, but every person leaves little mistakes out, which someone else can spot, so it's perfectly fine if more of you decide to try and work with me, if anyone at all wants to help!

**Author's Note:**

> This is boring, but it gets better soon.


End file.
